-Silver linings-

something good that can be found in a bad situation

Nats pov:

Nat: " you have to find your silver lining"

You: " but how do I find that Natasha"

I just shrug my shoulders and she I can see her getting frustrated.

Nat: " everyone's silver lining is different."

You: " what was yours then, in the hardest time of your life"

Nat: " well in the red room where I was raised, we also got forced to do ballet, however I loved it. The discipline contrasted with the beauty. I turned all my fear, anger and sadness into my dancing and it has become my escape ever since. I always said to myself no matter how hard he hits me today, I still have ballet"

I start to tear up a bit.

You: " I did ballet as a child, until I was like 11"

Nat: " you did?"

You: " yeh I did, however I then had to move away from my studio and just practiced at home but then once those pointe shoes died I didn't get anymore."

Nat: " shall we go get you some now?"

I almost light up with excitement.

-time skip-

Nat: " you ready to start ballet, we will do barre work because then I can see where we can go from there"

- time skip-

It's 3 months later and y/n is amazing at ballet, she's made so much progress and we have been practising different combinations, I'm the guy and she's the girl and it means she can practise partner work, I don't overwork her, I let her practise when she wants to.

Your pov:

I was so glad I could use ballet as something positive again. Nat had been practising with me and we both were doing well.

I had been losing weight because I don't want to be heavy for Nat. My mood swings have been bad but I'm trying to control them, I don't want to screw this up. But today I really cannot get up, I am tired I need to sleep. I had a huge nightmare last night and it was with flashbacks of everything. I didn't want to wake Natasha but I must have screamed so she came running in.

Last night-

Nats pov:

I hear y/n scream, Wanda and I rush into her room and she still asleep but she keeps screaming.

Nat: " y/n I'm here. It's not real."

Wanda looks at me she goes into y/n's mind to wake her up. Y/n wakes up crying and sweating and looking at us.

You: " GET OUT. GET OUT"

Wanda: " y/n we just..."

She starts throwing things at us and we promptly leave.

Nat: " she needs time"

Wanda: " she needs to see the therapist Nat"

Nat: " it's different with her. One day she will need one but not yet, it will only push her further away from us"

Wanda: " ok, I'm going to go back to bed and so should you we have a mission tomorrow remember"

Nat: " shit yeh, I'll leave a note because we'll be gone before she wakes up"

Flashback over-

Your pov:

I couldn't hear Nat and Wanda so I assumed they were out. I went back to sleep and remained there for the rest of the day.

I wake up from my nap and it's dark outside, I look at my phone and it's 10pm. I missed pretty much the whole day. I hear a knock at my door and I don't answer.

Wanda: " y/n?"

She opens the door and comes in.

Wanda: " sorry if I woke you, but y/n I need to tell you something."

You: " it's ok, what is it?"

Wanda: " Nat got injured on the mission she's ok but she hit her head so she's sleeping in the medbay"

You: " she's hurt"

Wanda: " yes but she'll be ok"

You: " I need to go"

I get up and run out of the little apartment and out of the compound.

Wandas pov:

Wanda: " TONY!! TONY"

Tony: "little witch are you ok?"

Wanda: " y/n, I told her about Nat and she bolted."

Tony: "go stay with Nat, I'll send vision, Steve and myself out"

- time skip-

Your pov:

I cannot lose Nat. I run out the compound and don't stop running through the woods. Nothing but running until I reach what I can only assume is the outskirts of NYC. I wipe the tears from my eye and go to find something to eat, I was starving and I had $10 on me.

After walking around a bit more I find this burrito shop and get my favourite burrito and I sit down and tuck in. If I'm honest I had no idea how I was going to get back to the compound but I've lived on the streets before what's an extra night going to do.

Nats pov

On the mission I got shot, nothing fatal but I could feel myself slipping in and out of consciousness until I felt someone pick me up.

(Another time skip to 12 hours later. Y/n is still out and about with now $4.50 to her name)

I groan as I start to wake up.

Bruce: " hey Nat, how you feeling"

Nat: " tired, really tired"

Bruce: " I'm putting you on bed rest for the next week, new technology allows quicker recovery from a bullet wound"

I look at Wanda who is all teary eyed.

Nat: " hey hey hey why are you crying"

Wanda: " I thought you are going to die and y/n ran out and Tony Steve and vision are trying to find her but she left last night. I'm sorry"

Nat: " it's ok, we'll find her. She probably just got scared, her mom only died a little while ago, near death injuries was probs a trigger. How was she when we came back"

Wanda: " asleep still. I'm not convinced she'd actually moved"

Nat: " I thought she was getting better"

Your pov:

I'm shivering the porch of an apartment building, it started to rain and I'm soaked through.

Tony: "mini Romanoff there you are"

I look up and Tony is in the Iron Man suit.

Tony: " let's get you warm."

You: " I can't go back. I can't... I can't lose her I can't face it"

Steve and vision come round the corner vision carrying a blanket.

Vision: " miss, I hate to inform you but your body temperature is low. I would recommend this blanket to raise the temperature"

I take the blanket and tony offers his hand.

Tony: " she's ok. Bruce fixed her right up. She just wants to know you are ok. Come with us y/n please"

You: " go away"

Steve: " y/n come on. You are going to get ill"

You: " FUCK OFF"

I push Tony and Steve out the way and make a run for it.

Tony's pov:

Tony: " call Clint."

Steve: " already done"

Tony: " follow her vision. She can run but she cannot get hurt. She can't run forever. As soon as she stops she comes back to the compound"

I call Nat.

Nat: " is she ok, are you on your way back?"

Tony: " she ran off but vision is following her. I don't know what to do. I've called Clint."

Nat: " Tony i need to be there. Get her on the phone to me"

Tony: " she told me to fuck off. Let me find her"

Nat: " keep me on the line"

- 5 minutes later-

Tony: " y/n. Natasha is on the phone. She is ok she wants to talk to you"

You: " you're lying to me"

Your pov:

Tony chucks the phone to me and I hear her voice.

Nat: " y/n, honey.... I'm ok.... I need you here... please go home with Tony. Please"

You: " I'm scared Natasha"

Nat: " it's ok to be scared."

You: " I couldn't find the silver lining. I didn't know what to do without you"

I decide to go back to the compound with Tony, Steve and Vision. I run to the medbay and find Natasha lying there filling in mission reports.

You: " I'm so sorry. I let you down. It's ok if you don't want me anymore. I screwed up. You deserve better."

Nat: " hey, hey, hey. I will always want you y/n. I don't need any better, you are enough. Come on let's go to our rooms"

You: " so you need help?"

Nat: " we just will walk slow"

We get into our mini quarters and Wanda comes our her room and makes Nat a tea.

Nat: " y/n?"

I was in a trance.

Nat: " y/n?"

You: " yeh sorry Natasha"

Nat: " do you want to come into my room and watch a movie? Have some popcorn?"

You: " I'll pass on the popcorn but I'll watch the movie"

Nats pov:

My plan was going to work. She's gonna fall asleep in my room and finally get some sleep.

Nat: " which movie"

You: " can we put Gilmore girls on? I know it's not a movie..."

Nat: " of course."

And within 20 minutes I glance down beside me and she's fast asleep. She looks so peaceful and that's all I want for her.

A/n- I'm sorry for NO UPDATES. Year 13 has hit me like a brick. But I'm trying. This is shit it's ok but more will happen.