Daughter reader x mum Nat

Age: 17

Backstory: in recent months you and Nat have distanced due to her new girlfriend (Wanda) and your dad is Steve. Wanda used to be your friend and now she's like your step mom. You cannot stand to be in a room with them so you are just going out. Whilst Nat thinks your being completely irresponsible infact you are just trying to cope.

Time era: pre infinity war, post civil war

Tw: sh history talk

(Imagine your relationship used to be like lorelai and Rory. Steve is like Chris (very distant yanno))

Your pov:

I'm in high school (American) and I'm on my last year now. I have no idea what I want to do with my life and the fear of failing is just stressing me out. I have always been told I'm academically really smart and I'm great at sports due to the whole super soldier gene I guess. However, with my name being of celebrity status, I've never stuck around for long enough to get really good at a particular sport. I've being doing ballet my whole life and I guess I'm really good at that, I don't enjoy it, I just do it for mom.

Mom and dad wanted me to go to college and I've managed to get into Yale which is an achievement but I have no idea what classes I want to take. Maybe English, science, sport who knows. I always feel like I'm failing everyone recently.

However that isn't my biggest problem. I can sort that out by making a list. My new problem is my mother. The once shining star in my life is nothing but a black hole sucking all the life out of me. With my dad being flaky so me never having a proper relationship with him, my mom and I were super close. That was until last year. Wanda.

This was when we were living at the compound. Dad, mom, uncle Tony, vision, basically the whole clan. However civil war split that up and we moved out of the compound and into our own flat. It sucked because it's like watching my parents split up (again) but 10x bigger as it was the whole of my family. Wanda came with us and it was really fun to begin with until I realised that her and mom were into each other. They started going out just them two and mom would leave money for me to get a takeaway or whatever. All I felt was neglect. I'd been doing everything she had wanted for so long, was I not good enough for her. She looks at me now like she just tolerates my existence.

I have a history with some bad mental health but as far as everyone is concerned I'm doing "better". Whatever that means. I relapsed after being clean for 2 years last week. I have been trying for so long but it got too much after me and mom had a huge fight about me skipping class. The reason for me skipping class was the fact that the night before mom was supposed to be coming home from a mission and she didn't, so I stayed up, then overslept so I missed my first class. She didn't get that.

Anyway to present day:

Nat: " y/n can you come here please"

I walk towards the kitchen where her and Wanda are cooking dinner. I sit down on the stool at the breakfast bar.

Nat: " hello to you too"

You: " sorry hi."

Nat: " how was school"

You: " it was ok"

Nat: " did you get your biology exam results back?"

You: " yes"

Nat: " come on then tell me and your mom the grade"

You: " SHE ISNT MY MOM"

I get up and storm out of the room slamming my bedroom door.

Nat: " DONT YOU GO SLAMMING MY DOORS"

You: " ILL DO WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT TO"

Nat: " GET YOUR BUTT OUT HERE RIGHT NOW Y/N ROMANOFF"

She full named me.

I open the door and she almost has steam coming out her ears.

You: " I'm going out"

I grab my car keys and head out.

Nats pov:

Nat: " I'm so sorry baby. She shouldn't have snapped"

Wanda: " it's ok. She might just be having a bad day"

Nat: " she's been having a bad couple months. Her attitude sucks recently"

Wanda: " maybe I'll go stay with Yelena whilst you and y/n talk."

Nat: " no. You're a part of our life. She doesn't dictate our life"

Wanda: " but she's your daughter"

Nat: " an ungrateful one at that"

Your pov:

I'm blasting Taylor swift as I drive to my spot on the hill.

"REMEMBER WHEN WE HIT THE BRAKES TOO SOON. 20 STITCHES IN A HOSPITAL ROOM WHEN YOU STARTED CRYING BABY I DID TO WHEN THE SUN CAME I WAS LOOKING AT YOU"

I was screaming at the top of my lungs. This was therapy.

After all the shit that has happened to me, she really has no care about the aftermath. Does she not think growing up being told where to hide all the time. Not being able to go out until a passed level 10 combat in order to defend myself. Living in fear everyday that I could be taken. Not having a dad that wants to stick around for longer than 10 minutes. Constantly having the fear of letting something slip. Seeing mom and yelena take down the red room whilst I got left to defend myself and get myself out of there. No as long as mom copes it's ok. She gets her happy ending. I have no one anymore. No one wants to be friend with the kid like me. The kid with scars all up her arms. The kid who is "perfect". I honestly hate my life and it hasn't even started yet.

I turn the engine off and lock the doors so no one can enter the car. I close my eyes and nod off for a bit. I need to shut my mind off.

(Time skip)

Nats pov:

It's been an hour and she still isn't home. I hate doing this cos it's an invasion of her privacy but I need to see where she is. I get on my motor bike and go towards her. As I approach her car I look through the window and see that she is asleep with mascara all down her face. This was one fight? Did I really do something bad?

I knock on the window and she jumps scared and recognises me. She unlocks the door and gets out the car.

You: " did you stalk me here?"

Nat: " well when my 17 year old goes missing for an hour, yes I do. You have to tell me where your going y/n. I have a lot of enemies out there"

You: " GOD ENOUGH ABOUT YOUR FUCKING ENEMIES MOM. THEY CAN TAKE ME I HONESTLY DONT CARE ANYMORE. IF THEY COULD MAKE THIS MISERY END THEN SO BE IT"

Nat: " you don't mean that"

You: " oh but I do. However you have been too oblivious to notice how shit I've been mom. With Wanda I'm not even a priority. The thing you care about is what I do in order to make your reputation better and I'm fucking done. I seriously cannot take it anymore"

Nat: " do not accuse me of neglecting you y/n. I've been doing my best"

You: " bullshit"

Nat: " excuse me. Do you know how hard it is to raise a kid with a dead beat dad alongside the fear she's going to be taken at any minute. Or one day I might just not make it back from a mission"

You: " WELL HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL. I HAVE LIVED IN FEAR MY WHOLE LIFE. IVE GOTTEN GOOD AT EVERYTHING POSSIBLE TO TRY AND MAKE DAD SEEM INTERESTED OR PROUD OF ME. BUT I AM NEVER GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM. I WILL ALWAYS BE TOLERATED BY YOU AND EVERYONE. this all was for nothing"

She bawling her eyes out and I go to bring her in for a hug but she pushes me away.

You: " you don't get to hug me and pretend this is all ok mom."

Nat: " I know my angel. I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry. I shouldn't have left you to be with Wanda all the time. I should've made you my top priority. I should've made your dad make more of an effort. I should've been a better mother to you. But I am so proud of you. Everything you have been through as well as being the smartest sweetest most talented kid out there. I am the proudest mother and I'm sorry I lost sight of that. I know you will need some time. Would you like some time with just me? Wanda offered to stay at Yelenas for a while if we need time."

She comes in and holds me tight like when she was little and I had just come back from a mission. I stroke her hair and we sit against her car just taking a moment to breathe.

You: " I know you love Wanda and I'm really happy for you mom but it just felt like I was in the way of your relationship, so much so that you kind of forced me into this life that wasn't natural to me. Everything changed so quickly and I guess I was never given time to adapt"

Nat: " you're completely right and I'm so sorry i didn't give you the time y/n or even see if you were comfortable with the arrangement. I know you have lost a lot lately because of the accords but I promise we will all come back together soon. I love you so much"

You: " I love you too mama."

She winces as I start stroking her arm and I realise.

Nat: " did you relapse"

She starts to cry some more.

Nat: " oh honey I'm so sorry I made you come to this. I'll get you the help I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy. It will be ok. Mamas here"

We stay sitting there as the sun sets. We need some time isolated from the world just for us. I stroke her hair and I look down and she's asleep in my lap. I can't believe I did this to her. I'll never forgive myself

A/n: this is rlly long but I love it. Angst is so fun to write. This is v chaotic. Does it deserve a pt2 tho?