Nats pov-

Y/n and I stayed where we were for a while and I just gave her time to breathe. She's been silent for a while

You- "where do I go from here mama. Who am I anymore"

Nat- " your still my little y/n. Look Fury said ur physically capable it's just that nasty mind of urs which he is worried about"

You- " what do you mean"

Nat- " everyone is worried about you y/n"

You- " why.... Why would he even say that. I'm fine. It's completely normal to work hard for something you want, to devote yourself to success. To just block it all out and move on"

Nat- " I know that you have been brought up with people who have trauma y/n but what happened to you isn't normal. None of us even know what happened"

You- " nothing even happened mama."

Nat- " y/n. If you want to become like me or join SHIELD you need to talk"

Your pov-

I didn't want to talk about it. I've kept myself too busy to think about it. Hell, I feel a bit light headed, my chest is tightening.

Nat- " y/n/n you ok. BRUCE BRUCE"

-time skip-

I wake up and hear a buzzing. What the actual hell happened.

Bruce- " so y/n. You feeling ok?"

You- " yeh, just a little confused that's all"

Bruce- " you passed out, I think it was stress. You feeling overwhelmed at all y/n?"

You- "one could say that"

Bruce- " let's go get you some rest. Your mum is tidying your room"

Shit. My room.

Nats pov-

I'm tidying y/n's room as it was a mess and Bruce says she needs to be avoiding stress at the moment. I can't believe I never noticed how little care she was taking of herself. I feel like an awful mother

Bruce walks in holding y/n. She looks so exhausted. She gets into bed and I thank Bruce as he leaves. She turns over and faces the wall. I finish putting all her clothes away and perch on the other side of the bed.

Nat- " my little gem. I'm sorry"

She mumbles.

Nat- " I should've noticed what was going on"

You- " what was going on?"

Nat- " y/n. Your room. You weren't looking after yourself. I saw plates stacked and your bin was full of dinners you hadn't eaten. I should've noticed I should've made you sit with us. I let you push me away and didn't think anything of it."

You- " I just. I didn't realise all of that was happening. I look back and it's all a haze. I can't process it all. I had a goal and now I can't get to it because of my head. But how am I supposed to help myself if I can't figure out what is wrong with me"

She starts to stop but she still isn't looking at me.

Nat- " there's nothing wrong with you y/n. Something bad happened to you and your trying to process it. I was exactly the same when I came out of the red room and joined SHIELD. I didn't know what to do. I felt dirty, like something was wrong with me. Clint showed me that what happened wasn't my fault"

You- " I just don't think I'll ever feel clean of it"

Nat- " what happened y/n?"

You- " 20 hours at a time. Fight. Train. Repeat. He hurt me. I couldn't stop he never let me stop."

She doesn't turn around

Nat- " y/n what happened to you, wasn't your fault. He's an awful man."

You- "was an awful man"

Nat- " what do you mean"

You- " he's dead mama. I killed him. The red room is gone. The widows and I teamed up and took him down. Thats how I got out"

She turns around and looks at me.

Nat- " well sweetheart that's amazing. I'm very proud of you. You just saved 100s of girls lives. Do you realise that. How can you think so negatively of yourself after doing all that good for the next generation of girls."

You- " why do I feel better for telling people now."

Nat- " the first stage of healing is admitting what happened. I'm not saying it's gonna be easy but one step at a time"

She cuddled into me and fell asleep. Fury had arranged a therapist to help her for every day. She would train with her, help y/n with school and help her process what happened.

- 5 months later-

Fury- " so how is y/n doing"

Therapist- " she's doing really good sir. Her progress is phenomenal, mentally and physically"

Fury- " do you think she's ready?"

Therapist- " yes. If we had done it any other way she wouldn't be. But the intensity seems to have driven her to try and heal."

Fury- " thank you for this. Do you want to go get her for me"

Your pov-

You- " hi Fury."

Fury- " I'm so proud of you y/n"

You- " thank you sir"

Fury- " so, the jr programme.... You ready for it"

You- " really. I mean... yes sir. I am ready more than ready"

Fury- " you start Monday. Here's your uniform"

I run back towards moms office. I knock frantically.

You- " mom. Look I got in!!"

Nat- " oh baby I'm so proud of you. When do you start"

You- "MONDAY!!!"

Nat- " we are going to the movies tonight to celebrate. Let's go."

My mom packs up her stuff and we head out for the evening. I'm so glad I'm happy now. Everything I need is right here with me.

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