A/n- I saw how you guys responded to my last story so I'm going to be doing another one based on mental health. Just know you guys are loved. I'm proud of you and keep going. My private messages are always open

Backstory- you have just gotten into a relationship with Natasha. As far as everyone knows you are clean. But you have been struggling with relapse. Your brother Steve is protective and he helped you get clean but he said if it gets worse he would have to send you away to get help. You didn't want to leave so you just hid it from everyone. Suffering on your own.

Tw- self harm mention, ed mention, panic attack mention

(Listen to cardigan by Taylor swift)

Your pov-

I had really fallen for Natasha recently. She asked me to be her girlfriend about a month ago. We hadn't ever gone further then kissing as she knew that I had some trauma behind me and she didn't want to make me uncomfortable.

We had been sharing a room for about a week now and every night like clockwork she gives me a kiss on the forehead and draws circles on my back whilst being the big spoon. I felt so safe with her, I just wasn't ready to show her my body yet. I had scars from where I struggled and I was too ashamed of them. Natasha respected that and I was so grateful for that.

Steve told everyone that is was important for me to keep a routine. Regular meal times, movie night on the last Friday of every month. It kept me calm and in control. Living at the compound used to be very stressful everything caused me to break down. I eat at 7am, 12:30pm and 6pm everyday without fail, the same thing for each meal. It's sad you can judge but it's how I'm recovering.

Nat- " hey y/n do you want to go for a walk?"

It was dinner in 10 minutes. I would miss meal time. My breath quickened and Natasha spotted it.

Nat- " we can go after. Dinner first. I'm sorry I forgot"

You- " Nat it's ok."

I hated myself. Why couldn't I just be normal. My girlfriend would love me more if I wasn't so difficult. I didn't want to be on this stupid routine but I wasn't allowed to be cleared for missions until I can handle everything.

You- " we can go for a walk now"

Nat- " I'll bring snacks"

You- " ok let's go now before Steve comes down"

Nat- " y/n/n I don't know if it's a good idea to sneak out without him knowing. If your ready to break the routine I'm right behind you but Steve should know"

Steve- " what should I know"

Nat- " we are going for a walk..."

Steve- " it's almost 6 Nat..."

You- " I'm changing it up actually. I'm ready I promise"

Steve- " as long as your ready y/n. I'm so proud of you enjoy your walk ladies"

Nat goes and gets some beanies and gloves and scarves as well as your favourite cardigan. The cardigan made you feel safe and that's all you needed right now. You had to take you jumper off to get the cardigan on, Nat was going to see your scars....

Nat- " what's going on baby"

You- " I uhhhhh nothing I'm fine... it's just my scars"

Nat- " y/n your scars are part of your story and how you fought an extremely hard battle. Don't be ashamed of them."

I smile back and lift my arms up and she takes my jumper off.

Nat- " see your still beautiful..."

She gives me a little kiss on the forehead.

Time skip-

You- " oh Nat look at the stars they are so beautiful"

Nat- " they aren't the most beautiful thing I see right now"

She looks at me and smiles.

Nat- " y/n you are so beautiful. Please don't ever forget that."

You- " I forgot to tell you but I am 2 weeks clean today."

Nat- " I'm so proud of you y/n."

You- " Nat....."

Nat- " yesss are you ok?"

You- " here we go..... I love you. I know it's soon but you mean everything to me. "

Nat- " calm y/n. I love you too. I have felt it for a while now but I didn't want to freak you out."

You- " ok let's eat I'm starving"

Nat hands me the tub of brownies. I haven't had brownies in so long. They literally taste amazing. I've relapsed with my eating disorder twice now but I feel like now I'm on the right track.

You- " this is so good Nat"

Nat- " good I'm glad I baked them myself"

You- " well that makes them even better then"

Nat- " y/n you have a beautiful mind. Please don't ever forget it"

You both cuddle into eachother. You never thought you would be alive to experience this kind of love but you are recovering and doing better with the woman you love sitting beside you.

A/n- this isn't the best but honestly idc it's cute. Suggestions pls no smut atm sorryyyyyy