Backstory- reader is 16 - Nat is your mum is in this. You failed your bio exam

Tw- self harm,

Nat: " THIS IS NOT UP FOR DISCUSSION"

You: " it's one test mum. "

Nat: " AND THAT ONE TEST YOU FAILED"

You: " I got an E"

Nat: " ROMANOFFS DONT GET E'S"

You: " WELL MAYBE IM NOT A ROMANOFF THEN"

You walk out the door and slam it.

Nat: " Y/N Y/M/N ROMANOFF GET BACK HERE!!"

Clint: woah Nat what's with all the shouting I just saw y/n storm off outside"

Nat: " that little shi....."

Clint: " don't say anything you'll regret"

Nat: " I'll explain later Clint Ive got to go get her she's grounded. J.A.R.V.I.S put the compound walls up and don't let y/n leave "

J- " of course miss Romanoff"

Your pov:

Mum is a bitch. Then it is I said it. "Romanoffs don't fail" honestly what bullshit is that. It's one stupid test. The only reason she is mad is because I snuck out the night before. She needs to get over it. It's pathetic honestly. I pass Clint in the hall and he just looks at me " you ok y/n". I carry on walking I need some air. This was too much pressure. Little did mum know I had been really struggling recently and she is just so insensitive.

I had relapsed over this test result. Honestly mum thought I was a failure. How would I ever be good enough. I sit outside against the wall in my secret little spot and just start to cry. My head in my hands all curled up with my knees to my chest. God why did I have to think this way. I felt the urges again they are so hard to fight off. The more I thought about it the harder I cried. I wiped my eyes only to see the compound walls going up. This means no one can leave or enter. What the hell was going on?

Clint: " I'll go left you go right Nat. Divide and conquer"

I quickly got up and ran inside. I ran all through the corridors and bumped into Thor.

Thor- " tiny Romanoff. Wait are you crying"

You- " no I just have something in my eye, gotta go get Bruce to get it out"

Thor- " ok hope you feel better soon"

Haha. I've thrown mum off the trail already I was 2 steps ahead. If she asks thor he'll say that I'm with Bruce and in fact I'm not. I'm going to my bathroom I needed a release. I was so stressed.

⚠️tw⚠️

I quietly shut my bathroom door and pulled the panel out and got my box. My box has my blade and the stuff I need after to clean myself up. I begin to cut my wrists, as soon as I saw the blood I felt better. I was in control now. I was alive and I was breathing.

I put my wrists under water and they sting a lot and I'm wincing through the pain I pat them dry and bandage my arms up. I pull the sleeves of my jumper down and put everything back where it was

⚠️ tw over⚠️

Nats pov-

I'm running round the compound searching for y/n when I'm bump into Thor.

Thor- " ahhh big Romanoff. I just saw tiny Romanoff like 10 minutes ago"

Nat- " did she say where she was going?"

Thor- " let me think. Something about Bruce and something being in her eye."

Did she really think I was that stupid. Bruce left early this morning to go back to India to help the sick for a bit.

Thor- " what's wrong lady Natasha"

Nat- " Bruce left this morning. Where could she be?"

Thor- " you could just ask Jarvis"

Why didn't I think of that.

Nat- " Jarvis where is y/n?"

Jarvis- " miss Romanoff was seen entering her room about 10 minutes ago. She has not left since"

Nat- " I'll see you later Thor"

I walk towards her door. I'm still so mad at her.

Your pov-

I heard a knock at my bedroom door. I decide to lock my bathroom door.

Nat- " y/n open you bedroom doo NOW"

I don't say anything

Nat- " I know your in there. Open the goddam door right now young lady"

I then hear my door crash and slam on the floor. Shit shit shit. I look out my bathroom window. Should I just slip out. I was on the ground floor. I slide the window open and make a run for it. She's pissed. I am running as fast as I can. I turn round and see my mum climbing out the bathroom window. Fuckkkkk.

Nat- " y/n come here right now"

Tears are streaming down my face. I'm scared. She's an assassin and she's mad. I'm so stressed right now my heart is pumping so fast. I hear her footsteps getting closer then I feel her grab my arm.

You- " owwwww"

Nat- " I didn't grab your arm that hard stop being dramatic. Why are you running away from me. Just stop being immature and actually deal with the problems."

You- " seriously shut the fuck up"

Nat (a little taken back) - " what did you just say to me"

You- " shut.... The ...... fuck..... up"

Nat-" ...... that's an extra week of you being grounded"

I turn around and look her in the eyes.

Nat- " baby I'm sorry. I'm sorry why are you crying"

You- " I hate my school. I hate my friends and I hate this stupid family. I hate everything about my entire stupid life. So you can ground me mum. You can yell at me. You can do whatever the hell you want. I can't deal with the amount of pressure you put on me everyday. And most of all I hate you"

No one's pov-

Nat starts to tear up. She realised she had been really harsh on you in the last few months. Her own daughter said she hated her. What kind of mother was she?

Nat - " baby I'm sorry. Please come here. I just wanted you to make the most of this free life. I forgot about you, I was living my dreams through you. I'm sorry. If I could take it back I would. I promise you I would. Please just come here."

She reaches her arm out to you. You wince again.

Nat- " have you hurt yourself?"

You- " I'm fine. I'm just going to go inside now"

Nat- " if your hurt I want to help."

Your pov-

I realised at this point I couldn't avoid it. I just begin to cry even more. Mum catches on and lifts up my sleeves on my jumper and sees my bandages.

Nats pov-

As I lifted up her sleeves I saw the bandage and I start to tear up again. My precious little girl.

Nat- " y/n why...."

You- " I just can't cope with this anymore. It's the only way I feel I control"

Nat- " can I lift the bandages up. I need to check the depth of them, to see if they are deep."

She lifts them up and sees they are deep.

Nat- " how long have you been struggling?"

You- " welll.... ( cries more) about 3 months. I just can't stop. I keep relapsing. I got 2 weeks clean and then couldn't help myself. I'm sorry I'm such a let down"

Nat- " I know what I said before. I was mad I didn't mean any of it. I'm so proud of who you are becoming y/n. Your kind generous and loving and I'm sorry I left you alone to try and battle this yourself"

Nat- " I know you could never forgive me but please y/n.... Please talk to me when you get the urge. I dont want you to be alone"

You- " ok. I will forgive you one day. It will be soon but right now everything feels so fresh and I just want your love and time and affection right now"

Nat- " whatever you need baby. I'm here"

She joins you on the ground and you rest you head on her lap. She strokes through your hair comforting as best she can

A/n- this is rlly long sorry. A vent post if u will