A/N - I'm sorry none of these are too cheerful atm I'm just not in an amazing headspace so I'm using this to vent, also I'm currently in the process of writing a story, it's slow progress but yanno I've started college so we vibe. Anyways hope ur all ok love ya

Tw- self harm, suicide mentions - reader is 17

Nats pov-

Again my daughter was acting shifty. Last time she acted shifty I found her bleeding out on the bathroom floor. She has started therapy, but she never talked about the sessions, I just wanted to help. She is my biological daughter from the red room but she got taken as soon as she was born, shortly after I was sterilised. She never talked about the trauma, I only heard her screams of nightmares.

Nat- " y/n honey can you come here"

(Shortly after her attempt I moved us out to a flat to give us some more space and quiet)

Y/n- " sure"

Nat- " have u eaten today honey. I left food on your nightstand this morning"

I knew she was lying I saw it in the bin.

Y/n- " yeh it was good thank you"

Nat- " liar. I saw it in the bin"

Your pov-

She knows..... she knows

Nats pov-

I know she knows

Your pov-

It's true I had relapsed again. I couldn't tell mom I was too embarrassed, it started off as a one time thing and now my whole thighs were covered. I wore joggers I didn't look down at them. My therapist thought I was getting better. I was trying to convince myself I was better. I was not. I wanted all the trauma to just stop for at least a day so I can rest.

Nat- " y/n show me your thighs please."

You- " no mom that's a invasion of my privacy"

Nat- " no it's for your safety. I'm not losing you. I can't I won't do it. Speak to me. Do anything. Just stop shutting me out. I want to help. I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I WILL LOVE YOU THROUGH ALL THE DARKNESS YOU FEEL. I CAN HANDLE THE SCARY STUFF, I CANT WATCH YOU SLOWLY KILL YOURSELF."

Mom stood infront of me crying her eyes out. I showed her my thighs and started crying. She looked at them and then up at me.

Nat- " it's ok my little cub, mamma is here. Let's go find the blade and stop this now. Show me where it is"

Mom picks up the blade and puts it in the bin and then shoves a pile of half eaten food on top. She washes her hands (hygiene) and comes over to the sofa where I'm bawling my eyes out and cradles me.

You- " I thought I was getting clean. And no matter how hard I try I keep running back to it."

Nat- " please talk to me about it. I am one of the only people you will ever meet to be raised all through childhood in the red room. I know it's scary but I want to know what your thinking. I don't want you to feel alone"

You- " ok..... im ready"

A/n- if u ever need support with this, just know ur not alone my messages are open on wattpad and also if u feel open enough u are welcome to vent in the comments. Stay safe