No smut or anything sexual :)

Tw- drugs and sh

Backstory- Natasha was recently killed. Y/n was her wife and is struggling to cope with her death.

I stole some lines from wandavision because they just fit well to the story. Hope you enjoy the story :)

Y/n pov:

My scream replays again again and again in my head. Every time I shut my eyes. I watch her body slowly fall to the floor as I run over sobbing over her slowly dying body. Her perfect blood pouring out her body, bullet holes from top to bottom of her perfect body. My wife. The love of my life. Mother to our children. Her last words "let me go. It's okay" as a single tear trickles from her eye. She falls limp on my lap. I remember saying to her " no don't leave me Natasha. You are my sadness. You are my hope. And mostly you are my love"

I stop snap back to reality, covered in sweat, hysterically crying into her jumper. I try to cover my sobs. I don't want Florence or Jamie to hear. The didn't understand she was gone they were 4 and 2 years old. They lost her too. I need to pull myself together and get on with life like she would've wanted me too.

The next day I drop the two kids off at Tony's I need a break and some alone time to grieve. I kissed them on their foreheads and whispered " me and mummy love you so much so he good for uncle Tony and aunt pepper." They run off inside. Their innocence is the only keeping me alive. Their little smiles, their shiny Pearl white teeth, their beautiful brown hair. Tony gives me a hug and says how you holding up. I say fine.

Tony: y/n don't lie to me

Y/n: ok I'm falling apart and there's nothing anyone can do to stop me falling. She's not here to help me pick up the pieces. I'll see you tommorow Tony thank for looking after the kids.

Time skip to later on:

As I watch back old clips on my phone of Natasha I come across one which she took when we found out I was pregnant with Florence.

Nat: oooo what does it sayyy

Y/n: I'm so nervous I can't look

Nat: ok I'll do it

She does a little giggle

Nat: y/n/n it's positive we are gonna be parents

Y/n: I'm so happy!!!!

Tears streaming down both of your faces because you know your going to be together for the rest of your lives.

The video ends.

Small sobs turn into hysterical tears. I have been crying for over half an hour until I decide to dial the number i had promised yourself i wouldn't dial.

On the phone:

Y/n: how quick can you get here

??: 7 minutes what do you want

Y/n: oxy

??: got it

The phone call ends

?? arrives at the door and hands you the bag of drugs. You take the bag and walk over to the table. 10 pills fall out of the packet. 2 by 2 you swallow them. You just want the pain to end.

It's been 2 hours and you wake up on the balcony of yours and Nats apartment.

Y/n: shit shit shit!!!!

Nat would be so disappointed in me. It was like i had gone back to life before Natasha Romanoff. That girl turned your whole world around. Your heart beat for Natasha Romanoff.

Now she was gone you couldn't function. I sat their crying and crying until I found the blade and started slitting my wrists.

Y/n: JUST MAKE THIS PYSCHOLOGICAL TORTURE END!!!!!!

I bandage up my arms and head to our empty bed.

She was gone. It was time to pick up the pieces and remember that life is worth living for the kids. I knew that we would say hello again one day. It wasn't our last goodbye.

Natashas pov up in heaven:

I watched my precious angel fall to pieces on the ground. I knew she would think I'm disappointed. I'm not I just want to see her again. Feels her in my arms. I miss her. I understand. I knew she would heal overtime. I knew that we would say hello again one day. It wasn't our last goodbye.