《Far From Perfect》Chapter 38
Advertisement
I wake to a gentle caress on my cheek and smile when I realize who it is, but when reality sinks in and I remember there's a chance Nate may hate my guts now that whatever Miranda gave him wore off, my smile falls right off my lips. I keep my eyes closed but don't move, and feel as his fingertips move to my lips. He runs his thumb over my bottom lip and I wait with bated breath, hoping he'll kiss me but he never does.
My eyelids flutter open and I look up to see the most beautiful pair of electric blue eyes staring back at me. But unlike the ones I saw hours ago, these are full of life and joy. Something I hadn't seen reflected in them in months.
"Morning, beautiful."
"Morning, Nate," I whisper, feeling scared of what's to come.
"You really care about me, don't you?" Nate says, taking me by surprise. He cups my cheek and I don't hesitate to lean into his hand. I close my eyes as I feel a tear drip down my cheek and onto his palm.
"Of course, I care about you." I open my eyes to look at him as I say, "I always have."
"Why? I don't deserve you. Not after what I've done and said."
"I deserved the brunt of your anger for what I did."
"No, you didn't," he says, shaking his head. "You didn't deserve anything of what I said. You deserve better than that. Than me."
"I did."
"No, Alexa," he protests.
"Let me talk," I tell him and he quiets down. "What I did was wrong but if you'll let me, I promise to make it up to you." I take his free hand in mine and smile when he intertwines our fingers.
"I could have hurt you, Alexa." I look into his eyes and see that he's hurting and it breaks my heart. I hate that he's so broken up over what he did in his inebriated state. "I was so stupid and careless. I don't understand how you can even want to be with me after that?"
"But you didn't and I know you never would. What I said to you that night you drank came from a very hurt place inside myself, and I'm truly sorry for what I said, but I know as well as you do, that you would never be capable of hurting me. Not now. Not ever."
"How can you have so much faith in me after everything I've put you through?"
"Because I trust you, Nate. I trusted you with my heart once and I'm entrusting you with it again. You know why?"
"Maybe but I want to hear it anyway," he says with a cute grin as he releases my hand and brushes my messy curls from my face.
"It's because I love you, Nate. I love you so much it hurts but I can't imagine my future with anyone but you. You're it for me, Nate. It's always been you. There's no one else. Just you," I reiterate and this brings a smile to his face.
"Just me?"
I nod. "My heart is yours and only yours," I say, placing his hand over my heart. He splays his fingers over my chest and I feel my heart begin to hammer against my chest, showing him just how much I love him. "Every breath I take is for you and you alone. You are the reason I exist. You are my soulmate and the reason I came to this world. I know that now and can't imagine a future where you're not in it. Please forgive me, Nate. For everything."
Advertisement
"I forgave you a long time ago. I was just too damn stubborn to admit it. When you told me about your kiss with Johnny, I knew you were being sincere when you said you regretted it, but I was so hurt I wanted to hurt you back for what you did, but I promise to spend the rest of my life making it up to you. You hear me, Alexa?"
"I hear you. Loud and clear," I say with a smile and a sniffle.
"I can't promise I won't hurt you again because I'm not perfect and mess up a lot but I promise to do my damndest to never hurt you again," he says, reminding me of where we had been not too long ago when I had made a promise to him just like it in the shower. "I love you, Alexa."
"I love you too, Nate. I'll always love you. Forever and always."
"You know a drunk girl once texted me something just like that," he says with a grin and I groan, knowing he's referring to me. I cover my face in embarrassment and tuck my head under his chin.
"That girl is very, very sorry," I mutter embarrassed and he just chuckles.
"I'm not because that night at the club showed me that you never stopped loving me. Even in your drunken state, I knew where your heart lay. With me," he tells me and lifts my chin with his finger, making me look him in the eyes. "I'm sorry I was too angry to see it back then when I went to get you from the club but I promise you, I will never take you or your love for granted ever again."
"Promise?"
"I promise," he swears and I know he means every word of what he just said. He leans in for a kiss and I quickly scoot away from him and cover my mouth.
"I'm sorry," I mutter quickly. "I haven't brushed my teeth."
"I don't care," he says and pulls my hand from my mouth and pulls me in for a kiss. He tastes of mint, which is a slight relief. Just slight. Because I'm sure I don't taste as good as he does, but he doesn't seem to be phased in the least bit.
I relax and give in to his lips that are kissing me hungrily. He sucks my bottom lip into his mouth and just as he's about to release it, he gives it a small bite and pulls me flush against his body. He lifts my leg over his hip and slides his hand up my leg and under his shirt. He slowly trails his fingertips over my thigh and up my naked back and pulls back to look at me perplexed. "Am I imagining things or are you naked?"
"Definitely not imagining things," I say with a mischievous grin.
"Fuck. I'm trying to restrain myself here, but you're not making this easy," he says with a strangled sigh.
"Then don't."
"But-" he starts and I cut him off, pressing my fingers to his lips.
"I know our love story isn't perfect. If anything, it's far from perfect."
"Like us," he adds and I smile because if there's one thing he has taught me, it's that even though I'm not perfect, I'm still beautiful and no one can ever take that away from me, not as long as I don't give their words power and remember that I'm beautiful inside and out.
Advertisement
"Yes, just like us. I know that there's still a lot of healing we both still need to do. It's going to take time, but if anyone can heal our wounds it's us. Together we can rebuild the trust that we lost and learn to love each other more than we ever have in the process."
"I want that with you and only you," he says and kisses me hard before pulling back.
"Have I told you lately how much I love you?" I tell him with a big smile.
"Maybe but it doesn't hurt to hear it again," he says with a grin and I kiss him hard.
"I love you, Nate! So freaking much," I mumble against his lips.
"And I love you, Alexa. More than you'll ever know."
He kisses me passionately and rolls us over without breaking our kiss so he's hovering over me, and slowly sits up on his knees and pulls me with him so I'm sitting between his legs. I feel the towel I had covering his waist fall on my legs but I don't dare look down. I just keep kissing him and slowly pull my legs out from under him until I'm on my knees and eye level with him.
I feel him reach for the hem of his shirt I'm wearing but he doesn't make a move to pull it off me. He waits for me to make the choice and I don't think twice to lift my arms in the air, and that's all the answer he needs.
He slides his fingers under the hem of his shirt and takes his sweet time sliding it up my body, grazing my skin with his fingertips like he's trying to memorize every bump and curve on my body. I just watch him in awe as he stares at me as if I'm the only girl in the world, and feel my heart hammer against my chest when his shirt is all the way off me, leaving me completely naked and exposed to him.
He throws his shirt to the side and I bite my lip nervously as he takes in my naked body for the very first time. No one has ever seen me like this and just the thought alone unnerves me because there is nothing more intimate than baring your body, soul, and mind to another human being and that is exactly what I am doing with Nate. I am showing him all of me and it scares me. It scares me so much.
I try to cover myself out of instinct. I've always been so afraid of being this exposed and vulnerable in front of someone, but Nate stops me and kisses me, making me momentarily forget all of my doubts and insecurities. I feel my arms fall to my side and give in to his kiss.
He pulls away and I open my eyes to see him taking me in. All of me.
I was always so afraid of this moment. I feared my partner would look at me in disgust, but all I can see when I look in Nate's eyes is pure unadulterated love. And that's all I need to see to know that he's the one I have been waiting for all along.
He pulls me back towards him to kiss me hard only to pull away moments later. I groan in protest and he chuckles, but he doesn't say a word. He just looks at me as if asking for permission.
"Nate, you don't have to ask. I'm yours," I reassure him, knowing there's no one else I would rather experience this moment with than him.
"Thank you for trusting me as much as you do. I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I'm so thankful you came into my life when you did. If it wasn't for you, I would never have learned the true meaning of love. I stupidly believed I thought I knew what it meant before I met you, but I was wrong. You are my one and only true love. Forever and always."
"Forever and always," I repeat all choked up and he kisses me fiercely. I wrap my arms around his neck and give into his demanding lips.
When we both need to catch our breath, he doesn't stop. He just slides his lips down my neck and kisses every part of me I've ever hated about myself. He doesn't say anything. He just shows me with his actions that he loves every bit of me, even my flaws and all.
I tear up as I feel him kissing every part of me that I ever detested and I know in that moment that nothing could ever be more right or more perfect than this moment in time.
"It's okay, Babe. I'm going to show you how to love every part of you," he tells me and kisses me on the forehead.
"You already have," I respond as he kisses the tears away. When he pulls back to look at me, I kiss him hard and pour every ounce of my love into this one kiss that means more than he could ever know.
He slides his fingers in my hair and tilts my head to the side. I feel him kiss my neck and think nothing of it until he sucks hard on the tender spot on my neck. He alternates between kissing, licking, and sucking, and finally, after leaving me a pile of complete mush, he gives the already tender spot a hard bite, making me moan from the perfect mixture of pleasure and pain. He kisses the spot and looks in my eyes.
"Now everyone will know you're mine," he says proudly, admiring his work, which I have no doubt is a hickey on my neck.
"If you get to mark me, I get to mark you back," I tell him and pounce on him. I crawl over him and he doesn't even put up a fight. He just turns his head and bares his neck to me. I try to mimic what he did to me and even though it's my first time doing something like this, I think I did pretty good for my first time. I pull back and admire the purple mark that is starting to form on the surface of his skin. "Mine," I say and press a kiss to my mark on his neck.
"All yours, baby," he says and flips us over, so now he's on top. I shriek in surprise and he just chuckles. "Now where was I?" he says with a mischievous grin and scoots down my body, lowering himself almost completely on top of me. I gasp when his lips press to my inner thigh and try and close my legs out of instinct but he holds them open as he kisses his way down my leg and then moves on to my other leg and kisses his way up that one.
"You're going to be the death of me," I say and bite my lip as I fight back a moan. He bites where he's kissing and as soon as he's within reach, I dig my nails into his shoulders. "I can't take anymore. This is delicious torture."
"Too bad, I'm going to keep kissing you until I've covered every inch of your body," he tells me and I groan in frustration. With all my curves, it's going to take forever, but he's determined to make it happen and I'm not going to stop him. As crazy as it drives me, I love it. It makes me feel loved, wanted, cherished, and desired and that's something I never felt. Not until Nate.
He kisses every part of me like he promised and slowly makes his way back up to my mouth and kisses me as if the world were ending.
"I know I've said it a lot today, but I really do love you," he tells me as he brushes my curls behind my ear.
"And I love you. So freaking much."
"You're probably going to laugh at me for what I'm about to say because it's super fucking cheesy, but I can't help it. It's how I've felt about you for a while now. Even when I wanted to pretend I didn't feel anything for you, I never did stop loving you," he says, making my heart beat a mile a minute.
"Tell me. I want to hear it," I tell him seriously.
He hesitates.
"Please," I plead.
"I feel like my love for you is infinite. That catchphrase, "to infinity and beyond" is exactly how I feel about you. My love for you knows no bounds."
"Keep going," I say with a smile and this makes him laugh.
"The amount I love you could never be measured."
"Never?" I ask and he shakes his head.
"Never," he repeats. "No number could even begin to cover how much I love you."
"That wasn't cheesy at all," I say with a small smile and kiss him on the lips. I pull away to whisper, "I love you so much, Nate."
We kiss fiercely and make love passionately. Nate doesn't hold back and shows me just what I had been missing out on and let me just say, he knows what he's doing. Nate's a sweet and gentle lover with the perfect mix of passion, and he couldn't have made my first time more perfect. It was everything I imagined and more and I wouldn't change a thing about it.
I'm glad Nate was my first. He taught me to see all the good and the bad in me for what it is and in the process taught me how to love everything about me. Am I perfect? No. Has anything changed about me physically? Absolutely not. I'm still the same Alexa on the outside but on the inside, so much has shifted within me. I no longer see myself the same and don't hate what I see in the mirror. I am not the insecure woman I once was. I have risen above her and learned to love myself for who I am.
None of this was an easy journey for me and I'm sure I will still have my days where my insecurities rear their ugly head, but the thing is I'm finally at a place where I can say I love myself as I am. And I have Nate to thank in big part for this.
Nate helped shift something inside me that made me look at myself in a whole new light. I don't know when it started or how it happened but nothing can beat this feeling. Or the fact that I found my one true love while on my journey of self-love.
Nate has truly been the biggest blessing in disguise. If someone had told me, I would fall hopelessly in love with my slightly annoying new neighbor, I would have thought they were crazy. But sometimes life works in unremarkable ways and here I am, more in love than ever and in the arms of the man I love.
This is what true happiness is made of.
Our love story may be far from perfect but I wouldn't change a thing about it because it gave me the greatest gift of all. Self-Love and the man of my dreams.
Nate is everything I ever wanted and more and I'm never letting him go.
We're in this for the long haul.
Together forever.
Advertisement
Chimera Dire
Michael Kargas’ mission was to protect the royal twins from harm until the Allerian people overthrew the Rowowan empire, secured their independence, and reestablished the monarchy. His efforts to do so were complicated by civil strife, an entitled princess, an out of control prince, enemy agents, and an unsolved murder.
8 105Love Of Baybur [Participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge]
The Sultanate won a huge battle against their enemies of different religion, and now left them with only a piece of land surrounded by Sultanate's forces. Baybur, a yerliyya from a backwater place, is hailed as a hero after the war for his past contributions in a strange manner and is, thus, invited to a banquet prepared by the Sultan and attended by many Great Nobles. To Baybur, who had dreams of stepping on a higher stage in Sultanate's politics, and in his Orta's ranks, this is a chance for him to shine and rise. Yet he, and many in the banquet, knows that victory is far from over. And this presents a chance, with greater risk than before, to impress the Sultan and the Pashas of the Sultanate. Sanjak-beys and Aghas of the Janissary Corps all seek to devour their enemies, both in and out of the Sultanate. And Baybur, in the midst of this brewing storm, is no different from a fish dreaming to be a dragon. But a woman he meets at the banquet changes everything; his goals, his dreams, and his fate. After all, love, without expression, is a deadly curse. As a note, Cover is not mine obviosuly, and I write this both for NaNoWriMo and Writathon. To some history lovers and nerds who specialize in it, I know you might be angered quite a deal with some things I've written.(I get the feeling when someone talks wrong foolish things in a study I know, no hate) But this is a historical fiction written by a seventeen-year-old, don't expect much from me to know every single detail. Much of my research is surface level and some things are, well, to fit plot, are changed. So bear that in mind. For schedule/chapter thingt, there will be at most five chapters until I pass the 55.555 words mark. Each chapter will be around or above 10k+ words. It is also not edited, and probably won't be unless I find a great deal of time in my hands after November to see what I lack in where. That's all. Now go read, or leap to another fiction. Enjoy!
8 106Loving You Differently
Aria Adkins only cares about three things: 1.) the bills piling up on her kitchen counter.2.) getting her sister out of their dead-end hometown and off to college.3.) keeping the bottle of Jim Beam out of her heartbroken, alcoholic mother's reach.Closed-off and content as one can be with a never ending routine of crappy part-time jobs and the task of cleaning up broken whiskey bottles, Aria is used to dealing with things by herself; especially after her father runs off and she's forced to step up to the plate and solely care for her dysfunctional mother and younger sister. At twenty-one, Aria sticks to herself and has no time for men, romance, and most of all, love. After witnessing the demise of her parents' train wreck of a marriage lead to a cycle of adultery, addiction, and abuse, she swears to herself that she wants no part in any of it.That all changes when she crosses paths with tall and tattooed New Orleans native Austin Delaney, who weasels his way into Aria's heart and refuses to let her maneuver life alone. First, he offers her a job. And then? The promise that he's not going anywhere.• Highest Ranking: #1 in New Adult Romance, #4 in Adult Romance, #22 in Romance •
8 147Mr. Mystery
Ridhimaa returns home after two years, completing her postgraduate. She decided to enjoy her vacation with her family. One day she goes to market with her mother, where she meets a guy who is familiar looking, but she can't recognize him, but her mom does. He is her classmate and childhood best friend, Armaan, who's present life's a mystery for her. She feels like he and her mother are hiding something from her. Read to know more about the mysterious, Armaan. And find out what is he hiding or is he really hiding something. Or is it just her imagination.
8 104The Mouse and The Wolf
Oliver's life turns upside down when he learns that werewolves exist and one of them is his mate, but things get dangerous when he starts to learn more about himself. *****"It's a gift, and it's a curse."He never knew his father, and he was abandoned by his mother. Without a family to take care of him, Oliver was placed in a group home, unable of being fostered after one peculiar incident with his last foster parents. A happy child with a wild imagination turned into a timid shell of the boy he once was - a mouse who no one even noticed. On his sixteenth birthday, everything changes when he suddenly feels an odd connection with a guy he has never even spoken with. His name is Jaden, and everything about him spells trouble, but Oliver can't stop thinking about him - he is drawn to him.It is the start of his journey. Friends and enemies are made, secrets are unfolding, and the past comes back to haunt him as he learns more about himself, his family, and the fantastic world he has stepped right into.This is the path that was chosen for him.This is his legacy.
8 163Kuno Riddle[√]
I DONT GIVE PERMISSION FOR MY STORY TO BE POSTED ANYWHERE OTHER THAN WATTPAD, OR REPOSTED BY ANYONE.This is an HP, story not going to give away much.Who is Kuno Riddle? Reading to find out.Chapters may be short*I DONT OWN HARRY POTTER*
8 197