Days turn to weeks and I don't see Nate again. Not once. I don't know how he does it but he manages to stay out of sight, but that whole "out of sight, out of mind" crap is a load of BS. I haven't seen him in a month and I still love him as much as I wish I didn't. It would make things a hell of a lot easier if my damn heart would just stop pining after the man, but the heart wants what it wants and my heart wants Nathaniel Carter.

As much as I've tried to avoid him like the plague, today fate has intervened and is forcing us back together. I'm not looking forward to it one bit, because seeing him again will no doubt do a number on my heart. But I don't have a choice in the matter. As one of Gracie's bridesmaids, I am expected to be at her Bridal slash Groom Shower that she's throwing for herself and Jared.

I love the idea and think it's absolutely genius because grooms deserve to be celebrated just as much as the bride, but I wish Nate wasn't going to be there. He's her brother though and the only reason I became part of the wedding to begin with, so it can't be helped. It's going to be awkward seeing him after the last time we talked, which also happened to be the day I had a hangover from hell, but life is funny like that sometimes. It gets you down and gives you hope and then throws you right back in harm's way.

I have no idea what to expect today but I prepare myself for the worst-case scenario just in case because you can never really know. Luckily for me, I won't be on my own. Mia is coming with me as my plus one.

She told me to ask Johnny first to see if he would go with me and I did, but he refused to join me and told me he would play no part in my little game. I was offended by his accusation because I was not inviting him to make Nate jealous. That was the last thing on my mind, but he could think whatever he wanted.

I told Mia what he said and she was mad at him and happily agreed to be my plus one. I'm kind of relieved she's the one going with me, because if anyone can keep me afloat when I feel like I'm drowning it's her. I need that level of support today because I'm not only going to be facing Nate for the first time in weeks, I'm also going to have to face Miranda, who will probably be all over Nate since I imagine she must know about our breakup by now. I'm not looking forward to seeing her one bit.

"Ready?" Mia asks from my doorway and I nod from where I'm sitting on my bed. "It's going to be okay," she assures me and I sigh.

"I'm not so sure."

"What's the worse that could happen?"

"Nate is with Miranda now," I deadpan.

"That's very unlikely. You have said yourself that he pretty much hates her guts."

"Yeah, but the last time I saw her, she was pretty determined to get her claws into him and we were dating at the time. She clearly has no boundaries, and when you're persistent like she is, you can get your way. Believe me, I know."

"She's a bitch, I get it. I hate her already and I haven't even met her yet, but what you're saying, doesn't sound like anything Nate would do."

"Why are you defending him?"

"I'm not," she says putting up her hands defensively. "I just think you should give him the benefit of the doubt. That's all."

"It's not like I have any other choice, because even if he is dating her, I can't do anything about it."

"I'm sure he's not but if he is, I'll gladly give him a piece of my mind."

"Don't you dare hurt him," I warn her and she smirks.

"If you care so much about him, why don't you fight for him instead of letting someone else take him from you?"

"Because I don't deserve him. Not after I cheated on him."

"That guilt is never going to go away unless you come clean with Nate."

"I don't know how to tell him," I say frustrated and Mia just looks at me in sympathy.

"I know it's scary but I promise you that once you get it off your chest, you will feel a weight lift off your shoulders." I nod, knowing she's right but it's not going to be easy. "If you want, I can be there when you tell him."

"This is something I have to do on my own."

"Okay, if you need me, you know you have my support."

"Thanks, Mia. I appreciate it," I tell her gratefully.

"Anytime. Now let's get going or Gracie is going to call you, wondering where you are."

"You're right. Let's go."

Mia and I leave for Gracie's house and thankfully don't run into Nate on our way to my car. I'm guessing he's already at the party. I just hope he isn't there with Miranda as his plus one or I may lose it.

We pull up in front of Gracie's place almost an hour later and I gulp as I park my car, knowing I can only avoid running into Nate for so much longer.

"We're here," I tell Gracie nervously.

"Relax. Everything's going to be okay," she reassures me and squeezes my right hand.

"I hope so," I say with a sigh.

"If Miranda gives you any problems just let me know and I'll give her a good eye-poking," Mia says seriously and does a jabbing motion with her finger in the air, making me laugh.

"Thank you. I needed that," I say in between laughter, already feeling more at ease. "Let's just hope no eye jabbing is necessary today."

"I'm kidding. I wouldn't actually poke her eyes and you know that, but I will gladly kick her ass if she so much as messes with you."

"How did I get so lucky and find such an amazing best friend like you?"

"I don't know but you're right about that amazing part because I am pretty damn amazing," she says with a grin and I shake my head at her. She's always so full of herself, but I love her because she truly is the most amazing friend I could ever ask for.

We smile at each other when a loud knock sounds on Mia's window. We both jump in our seats and turn to see Gracie outside the passenger door.

"Are you two just going to sit in there all day?" she asks us, making us laugh.

"No, of course not." We get out of the car and I lock it behind us before making my way over to Gracie. As soon as I'm within reaching distance, she pulls me in for a hug.

"Thank you so much for coming. I'm grateful you're here to celebrate Jared and I," Gracie tells me and I smile.

"Thank you for inviting us." I rub her back affectionately and give her the biggest hug before moving to the side so Mia can greet her next. They both hug each other and chat like the best of friends, and within minutes they're all caught up on each other's lives. How they did it, I have no idea. I mean it's been like a month since we last saw each other and a lot has happened since that disaster of a night at the club, but I'm not about to dwell on that. Not when I have bigger fish to fry.

"Come with me ladies. Guests have already started to arrive and the party is already going strong," Mia tells us and leads us through her house to the backyard.

The first thing I see when I step outside is Nate. His eyes connect with mine instantly and he makes no effort to hide the fact that he's openly staring at me and I don't either. There's no point in pretending.

We stare at each other as if no one exists around us and just hold each other's gaze.

I see him run his eyes over me appreciatively and smirk.

Eat your hear out, Nate.

Nate doesn't bother trying to be discrete as he looks me up and down unabashedly. He clearly doesn't care who sees him practically eating me up with his eyes and I honestly don't either. I like the way he's looking at me. It makes me feel beautiful, desired and like I'm the only girl in the world.

I smile at him and relish the moment and the way he looks at me. It's like he can't believe it's me. But it is me and his reaction alone makes me glad I wore my new floor-length dress.

My black dress is gorgeous and fits me like a second skin. It falls off my shoulders and hugs my curves in all the right places. It's covered in a big beautiful floral print that has pink hibiscus flowers, orange and pink plumerias, and yellow and orange lilies. The flowers are so vibrant they make me stand out amongst all the guests, but I could care less because I love it and feel amazing in it.

I wipe the corner of my mouth to let him know he's practically drooling over me and he lifts his hand and wipes the corner of his mouth only to realize there isn't any drool there. He grins and gives me a look that says he's going to get me back for it but I have to see it to believe it.

I see movement from the corner of my eye and turn just in time to see Miranda practically throw herself at him. She clings to his side and practically begs for his attention. He doesn't pay her any attention though and just keeps his gaze fixed on me. I grin and give him one last glance before turning away to follow after Gracie. She leads us to a table and I see that there are assigned seats.

"Here's your table, ladies," Gracie tells us and we thank her as we take our seats. "Would you like anything to drink?"

"We're good right now, but thank you," I respond and she tells us if we need anything to just holler. She leaves to attend other guests and Mia and I just stare at each other.

"What was that?" Mia asks as soon as Gracie is out of earshot.

"What?" I say, playing dumb.

"Don't 'what' me. You know exactly what I'm talking about," she says and I smirk. "Nate was watching you, and he didn't even hide it."

"You noticed?"

"How could I not? He was practically devouring you with his eyes."

"It kind of looked like that, huh?" I say with a laugh and bite my lip.

"What does it mean?"

"Hell if I know," I say frustrated. "They say women are a mystery, but if anyone is a mystery, it's Nate. He's hot one minute and cold the next. I don't get it and I'm not even gonna try to understand him."

"Men are just as much a mystery as women are," she muses.

"You can say that again," I say with a dry laugh.

"Was that girl who practically jumped on him, Miranda?"

"Yup, that's her," I say with a sigh and feel a gaze on me. I turn to look and expect to find Nate, but it's not him, it's another guest who looks to be around my age. I raise my brow at him and he grins.

Not interested.

I turn back towards Mia and roll my eyes.

"What did I do?"

"Nothing. I just hate how guys think that with one look they'll have you wrapped around their finger."

"When you say guys, do you mean that guy who is sitting a few tables away ogling you?"

"Yup. That guy."

"I say you use him to your advantage," she tells me bluntly and I glare at her.

"No. Don't even think about it. I did not come here to make Nate jealous."

"Suit yourself then," she says with a shrug of her shoulders. "You can watch Miranda cling to him all day if that's what you want."

"It's not what I want but it's also not right to give a guy false hopes just to make another guy jealous."

"I'm sure the creeper would be happy just talking to you."

"Enough. I'm not going to try and make Nate jealous. It's wrong," I tell her and regret it hours later when Miranda is still clinging to Nate's side.

Why won't she just go away? Does she not have anything better to do? And why doesn't he just peel her long witch nails off him? He could easily put an end to her unnecessary touching but no, he just has to let her touch him as if he belongs to her.

Idiot.

"I can't take this anymore," I whisper to Mia. "He is driving me up a wall and I'm starting to see red. I need this to just stop."

"It's about time," she says with a triumphant smile, feeling proud she finally got her way. "I was just about to go over there myself and poke Miranda's eyes out because I am so tired of seeing her all over Nate. It's so gross, it's wrong," she says with a fake shiver and I laugh.

"Tell me about it."

"Go to the bar now," Mia says suddenly with a really serious tone.

"Why?"

"The creeper who was ogling you earlier is heading to the open bar right this second. I say you walk over there and strike up a conversation with him. I bet Nate will notice if you do."

I hesitate and she groans.

"It's now or never. Go!" she tells me and I don't hesitate a second longer. I grab my clutch and head right for the open bar. As soon as I approach, the creeper takes notice and practically undresses me with his eyes. Gross.

"Has anyone told you, you're smokin' hot?" he asks me and I smile but on the inside, I'm cringing. What kind of crummy pickup line is that?

"No. You're the first actually," I say with a fake smile.

The bartender hands him his drink and I ask him what he's having. He offers to get me one just the same, so I accept, looking for a way to make headway with this guy. If I'm going to make Nate jealous, I have to really sell myself and make it look like I'm actually interested in this guy. I'm obviously not but I'm determined to make it seem like I am.

"Here you go," he says, handing me my drink. I take it from him and give him my thanks but don't drink any. "What's your name gorgeous?"

"Alexa. Yours?"

"Cole."

"So who are you here for, Cole? The bride or the groom?"

"The groom. He's one of my frat brothers from college."

"So you must know Jared well," I say and he takes a long trip down memory lane and tells me all about his frat days. I touch his arm whenever it's appropriate and laugh and smile whenever it's necessary, but I hate every moment of it. This is not like me. I don't use others to get what I want.

"Do you want to dance?" Cole asks me after he's chatted my ear off, taking me by surprise.

I feel a gaze searing my flesh and look over Cole's shoulder to meet a pair of baby blues that are looking at me with so much anger, I'd be dead if looks could kill.

I crack a grin at Nate but when I see he's still standing next to Miranda, my grin instantly falls right off my lips. My eyes connect with Miranda's and I see a smirk graze her lips as she lays her head on his shoulder affectionately and wraps her hands around his bicep.

Would it be so wrong to march over there and pull her off him? I'm about ten seconds from snapping and am more than ready to have my first physical fight with Miranda of all people. It's not like she doesn't deserve a good slap to the face. She has no boundaries and no respect for others. Even when Nate and I were dating, she still hit on him and gave no fucks.

I only have so much patience and it's running thin quick.

"Dance with me?" Cole asks me again and I quickly plaster a smile on my face and turn back to him and respond with a simple, "I'd love to."

I leave my drink on the bar untouched and turn to find his hand extended toward me. I place my hand in his and it feels wrong, so wrong, but I push through it and let him lead me onto the small makeshift dance floor where some of the party guests are already dancing to Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran.

He immediately places his hands on my hips and I raise my hands to his shoulders like its second nature to me now. As soon as we start moving, I'm taken back to that night that Nate taught me to dance here in this very backyard. The very same night he asked me to be his girlfriend. This place holds so many great memories for us.

That night feels like forever ago, but it really wasn't all that long ago. So much has happened since that night Nate asked me to be his, and here we are again, just no longer together. The thought alone chips another piece off my heart.

"Are you okay?" I hear Cole ask and shake my head.

"No, I'm not," I say on the verge of tears. "I haven't been in a while," I admit and hate that I'm letting myself be so vulnerable with a guy I hardly know.

"Shit happens," he says matter of factly. "Do you want to get out of here? I can help you forget," Cole offers with a devilish smirk and I stop moving.

"What did you say?" I ask in shock.

"Let's get out of here. I'll show you a good time," he says like he's talking about the weather and I scoff.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" I say angrily when a hand shoots out in front of me and grabs him by the collar of his shirt. I look back to see Nate standing behind me and he looks like he's seconds away from murdering Cole with his bare hands.

"You best move away from her if you don't want me to knock your teeth in," Nate says pissed off.

"I don't want any trouble," Cole says like the coward he is and puts his hands up in surrender. "I had no idea she was taken. That's my bad, man."

Nate shoves him back forcefully and he stumbles and almost falls.

"Stay the fuck away from her, you hear me," Nate seethes.

"I will. Fuck. Just leave me alone." Cole walks off getting lost amongst the guests.

"Are you okay?" Nate asks me concerned and I nod.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Thanks for stepping in when you did," I tell him before turning and walking away from him. He stops me and pulls me back towards him.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asks me and forces me to look at him.

"Nate, just stop."

"Stop what?"

"This!" I say frustrated, gaining the attention of a few guests. I apologize and turn back to him.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he responds, playing dumb. "Now dance with me," he says as more of a demand and not a question.

"No, I'm not dancing with you," I tell him stubbornly.

"I didn't ask." He pulls me flush against him, making my breath whoosh out of me.

"Nate," I whisper. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Dancing," he says smugly and starts moving us as "Someone You Loved" by Lewis Capaldi starts playing.

I laugh dryly at the irony.

"What's so funny?"

"Listen to the lyrics. It talks about someone you loved. You were that someone for me, Nate," I tell him and he goes quiet.

You are that someone for me. Still.

"So you don't love me anymore?" he asks, finally speaking up.

"I don't know," I lie.

"It's not a hard question. You either love me or you don't," he says frustrated and I look anywhere but at him. "Alexa, look at me." When I don't turn towards him, he grips my chin between this thumb and forefinger and forces me to look at him. "What happened to you? To us?"

"You hurt me."

"I hurt you?" he responds as if I just slapped him across the face.

"Yes," I say angrily. "Now, let go of me." I try to pull myself out of his hold but his grip on me is too strong.

"You're not going anywhere. I have to make sure you don't go off and dance with any more sleazy guys."

"Why do you care who I dance with? What I do or don't do is none of your concern, Nate."

"I'll always worry about you," he says sincerely, which would make me happy any other moment but right now it just frustrates me with his always changing mood.

"I don't understand you. You're so hot and cold. One day you hate my guts and the next day you care about me. You're starting to give me whiplash."

"I know. I'm sorry," he says frustrated like he's at war with himself.

"Save your sorry for someone else. I'm done." I pull out of his grip and make my way inside Gracie's place and find the closest restroom, locking myself inside.

I walk over to the bathroom counter and set my clutch down before looking at myself in the mirror. When I see myself, I sigh. I can't help but feel disappointed in myself for sinking so low.