I hear my ringtone go off and sigh as the evil device keeps ringing and ringing incessantly. Why won't it stop?! It makes me feel like my head is splitting open. I stretch out my hand in search of it but refuse to open my eyes, because my head is killing me and I do not want to see any light.

I finally find it and grab it but somehow I manage to drop it and expect to hear a thud as it hits my floor but instead, I hear a loud groan. I peel one eye open and look over the edge of my bed to see Nate laying there with his eyes wide open.

"I think you dropped this," he says and holds out my phone to me. I immediately reject the call and look back down at him.

"You stayed with me all night?" I ask surprised and he nods.

"Yes, I even held your hair when you threw up a few times last night."

"Oh, God," I mutter embarrassed and roll onto my back. "I'm so sorry you had to do that."

"It's fine. I'm just glad you're okay," he says as he sits up.

"I'm far from okay," I mutter as I close my eyes and throw my arm over my face. "I feel like total shit."

"I told you."

"I know. I really don't want to hear it right now though, so if you could keep it down, my head would truly appreciate it," I say and he chuckles. Bastard.

"There's some Tylenol on your nightstand," he informs me. "I'm gonna head home now."

"You're leaving me?!" I ask, sitting up and turn to look at him.

"Yes, you don't need me anymore. You survived the toughest part. You'll be okay now."

"Do you really have to go though?" I ask him with puppy dog eyes.

"Do you want me to stay?" he asks with a sigh and runs his fingers through his disheveled hair.

"Yes," I exclaim. "You said you were going to "hold my hand" through this hangover so you have to keep your word," I tell him, using air quotes. "I am dying here. Literally," I add and he has the audacity to chuckle. "This is not funny," I say grumpily. "I'm dying here."

"You are not going to die," he says amused.

"Doesn't feel that way," I press my hands to my throbbing temple and sigh.

"You'll be fine," he assures me and sits down on the bed next to me. He moves my hands away from my face and I freeze.

"What are you doing?" I ask, feeling suddenly nervous.

"Just trust me and close your eyes."

"Okay." I let my eyelids fall closed and sigh in relief when his fingers brush my forehead gently and begin to massage my temple.

"This feels amazing," I mutter.

"It won't do much for you, but it will give you at least some relief."

"Don't ever stop," I say and he laughs.

"I have to stop sometime."

"No. Keep going," I plead.

"That's enough," he says, making me groan out loud.

"You can't just do that and stop. That's not fair to my aching head or my body that is slowly dying."

"Take a shower. It will help."

"Are you calling me smelly?" I say defensively and he smirks.

"No, but you could definitely use one after all that throwing up you did last night. You looked like the girl from The Exorcist," he says with a smirk and I scoff.

"That is not funny," I respond and cross my arms. "And when did I throw up? I don't have any recollection of that."

His eyes immediately fall to my chest and I look down to see what he's looking at and gasp. I am wearing nothing but my undergarments and his shirt, and his shirt is hanging wide open, completely exposing my body to him. To make matters worse, my girls are lifted high thanks to my arms that are crossed under them and are begging for attention.

"What happened to my shirt? And my pants?" I exclaim and pull his shirt tight around me. He lifts his gaze and looks to the side instead of looking at me. "Nate, where are my clothes?" I ask again and he sighs.

"You threw up all over them."

"So you undressed me?"

"No!" He responds and quickly turns to me. "I didn't so much as put a finger on you. You did it all on your own."

"Are you saying I stripped?"

"Something like that," he says with an embarrassed smile.

"I don't know why but I feel like there's something you're not telling me."

"There's plenty I'm not telling you, and it's probably for the best."

"Why?" I ask and cross my arms again but this time over his shirt.

"Because a lot happened last night after we got back from the beach," he says exasperated.

"Like what? I deserve to know what happened. Especially since it involves me," I say pointing at myself and he sighs.

"Fine but don't say I didn't warn you."

"Just tell me already," I whine and he finally gives in.

"Last night, when you threw up all over your clothes, I tried to help you clean yourself up. You brushed your teeth and I wiped your face with a wet rag."

"That doesn't seem so bad," I comment and he gives me a look that shuts me right up.

"Since I was being nice to you, you took it upon yourself to not only strip for me but you also tried to seduce me."

"What do you mean by seduce you?"

"You tried to get me in bed with you. That's what I mean."

"Shit," I mutter embarrassed.

"You even tried to kiss me not once but many times and I rejected you. That hurt you a lot. It hurt you so much you started crying and you became inconsolable, but I was not about to kiss you, especially not while you were drunk."

"Thank you," I say honestly glad he rejected me. I wish I could take back what I did, but there's no changing what happened. I'm just glad he did the right thing even if it hurt my drunken self at the moment. "And how did I end up with your shirt on?"

"I let you borrow it again and helped you into it. You were stubborn about it at first since I had rejected you, but somehow I managed to convince you to put it on and helped you into bed. You cried yourself to sleep and I felt horrible about it, but there is only so much I can do for you. I'm not your boyfriend anymore, Alexa, so it's not my place to hold you much less kiss you."

"I get it. I do. And I am so thankful to you for not only putting up with my drunken craziness but also for looking after me all night. It really means a lot to me and I cannot thank you enough for everything you did for me."

"You're welcome," he responds with a small smile and I can't help but sigh in relief because if anyone else had to deal with my drunk ass they probably would have been pissed. Nate surprisingly isn't. If anything, he's understanding.

"So did things basically go downhill when you brought me home?"

"Pretty much. You were holding up fine until I brought you back and laid you on your bed. I think that movement didn't settle well with your stomach so you shot up out of bed and ran for the bathroom. Unfortunately, you didn't make it in time and got most of it on your clothes."

"Gross."

"That's definitely one way to describe it, but I've seen worse," he says amused.

"Well I'm gonna go clean up now and by clean up, I mean take a long shower. Will you be here when I get out?"

"Only if you want me to stay."

"I want you to stay," I insist.

"I'll be here when you get out then," he tells me and I feel my heart rate kick up.

"Promise?"

"Promise," he reassures me with a small smile.

I take the Tylenol he left me on my nightstand and grab my clothes before heading into the bathroom. I lock the door behind me and take a much-needed shower, making sure to wash off all the griminess of the previous night.

I honestly thought I was doing good when I was at the diner with him, but I guess the food and coffee only helped for so long and then it all spiraled out of control once he brought me home. Well, lesson learned. I am never getting drunk again and I am more than okay with that.

I finish taking a shower and get dressed in my comfiest pajamas and walk out of the bathroom to find Nate fast asleep on my bed. I slowly tiptoe towards the bed to keep from waking him, and lay down next to him, making sure to keep some space between us. When I see that he doesn't wake up, I reach over to him and brush his hair out of his face. He opens his eyes and smiles before falling back asleep.

I pull my hand back to my side and simply stare at him until sleep overcomes me.

Hours later, I wake up feeling slightly better, but even so, I still feel like shit. I open my eyes and see that Nate is staring at me from his spot on my bed.

"Gracie called while you were sleeping," he informs me.

"Yeah? How's she holding up?" I ask concerned.

"Much better than you," he assures me. "She's doing so good, she chewed my ear off for breaking up with you."

"Sounds like something she would do," I say with a laugh.

"Yup. She ripped me a new one before telling me she still wants you to be part of her wedding and that I need to do whatever it takes to make sure you're there on her big day as one of her bridesmaids."

"I'm guessing she's worried because of what happened between us but tell her she has nothing to worry about. I'll be there for her no matter what."

"Thank you," he tells me gratefully.

"You don't have to thank me. I would do anything for Gracie if it means making her happy," I tell him and he smiles.

"There's more though."

"More?" I ask surprised.

"Since you are one of her bridesmaids, she wants you to join us at the joint bachelorette slash bachelor party that she and Jared are hosting in Vegas."

"They're not doing separate things."

"No. They decided to do it together, because they both have a lot of friends in common, so they would rather everyone celebrate together rather than separate. They just want everyone to have a good time, and it would mean the world to both of them if you would come."

"I don't know," I say biting my lip. I'm not so sure it's a great idea to spend more time than necessary with Nate.

"I'm not above begging," Nate says and I smile. "She and Jared are getting a suite for themselves. The rest are either bunking up or getting their own rooms."

"What are you doing?" I ask curiously.

"I'm getting my own room. Unless you want to share," he says with a playful smile.

"As nice as that sounds, we still have a lot of things we need to work out, and you know that as well as I do, so I would much rather have my own room if I go," I say, putting emphasis on 'if.'

"Are you really going to make me beg?"

"Maybe," I say mischievously.

"Please come. It would mean a lot to Gracie. And me," he says and I know he means it. Every word of it. I really want to say yes, but a part of me is scared because I don't know how things are going to be between us when the time comes to go to Vegas. We may be more distant than we are now and that scares me.

"I'm not sure it's a good idea," I say honestly, figuring there is no point in lying. "We haven't been broken up long, and spending more time together is only going to make this harder on us. I feel like we should only spend time together if it's absolutely necessary."

"Then what am I doing here? You asked me to stay."

"I know I did," I say frustrated. "This whole situation is just so confusing and hard. I want to spend time with you, but at the same time, I want to put distance between us because I know this can't be good for either of us. Why does this all have to be so complicated?"

"I don't know. It just is," he says with a shrug. "We just have to take this one day at a time."

"You're right."

"Does that mean you'll come to Vegas with us?"

"Yes, I'll go," I say excitedly and hope I don't regret my choice later.

"I can't wait," he says with a big smile, making my heart race.

"Me either," I admit.

"Now that we've settled that and you're feeling a lot better, I think it's about time I go back home and give Gracie the good news."

"Hardly. I feel like complete shit," I say truthfully.

"That's what happens when you drink a lot," he scorns me and I roll my eyes.

"I know," I respond with a groan. "As you can tell, I have clearly learned my lesson."

"Well at least something good came out of last night," he says with a smirk.

"What about us? We're here aren't we?" I ask him and he sighs.

"We are but this doesn't change anything."

"Yeah, I guess not," I say and have no doubt he can hear the sadness behind my words.

"I wish I could say things are good between us but they're not. And as amazing as things were between us, I need to really think about everything and decide if this is what I really want."

"By this, do you mean us?" I ask hurt and he nods.

"Yes. Our relationship was amazing in the beginning, but it turned toxic real quick and I need to be sure it's worth fighting for."

"It's worth it to me," I respond defensively and sit up. Nate doesn't hesitate to follow after me and stares into my eyes.

"I don't know if it's worth it to me though. Not anymore. I have a career to think about, Alexa," he tells me as if that explains everything. "I can't be with someone who is going to be jealous of every client I work with. I need someone who can trust me and who knows that I will always be theirs and only theirs."

"I trusted you from the very beginning but you are the one who gave me reasons to doubt you," I tell him and he tries to interject but I stop him. "You've said your piece. Now it's my turn."

"That night at the fair, I had every reason to be mad at you, because you just let that girl cling to you and you did nothing to pry her off you. If it had been me in your place with some guy clinging to me, you would have been pissed, and don't even try denying it because you know it's true," I say pointing a finger at him and he nods.

"I forgave you though and gave you the benefit of the doubt because I trusted you. And the next day, what did you do? You let that woman kiss you. You could have stopped her before her lips so much as touched yours, but you didn't. You just let her kiss the lips I had claimed as mine, so don't come and give me shit for being jealous. I had every right to be jealous for what you let happen."

"So Nate, you can keep playing the victim if that's what you want or you can own up to your mistakes because everything that has happened between us is just as much your fault as it is mine. We both fucked up and I am so, so sorry for hurting you the way I have, but unless you own up to your mistakes, we are never going to get anywhere," I finally finish and he just stares at me but doesn't say a thing.

"I said what I had to. Now get out, please. I need to be by myself," I tell him and don't even give him a chance to respond, and lock myself in my bathroom. I hear my bedroom door close, and wait a few minutes before leaving the bathroom.

I walk back into my room and find the manila envelope Nate had given me in his place. He must have seen it unopened on my nightstand and put it on my bed for me to find so I'll finally open it.

I sit down and grab the manila envelope with shaky hands, and release a breath I hadn't even realized I had been holding.

"Fuck. Why am I so nervous?" I mutter to myself and slowly open the envelope to find a card and a stack of pictures inside.

I put the pictures to the side and see that the initials NC are embossed on the front of the card in a cursive font. I trace the gold letters with my finger and smile as I remember the night of his housewarming party.

That night was a bit crazy but I will always remember it with fondness, because it held a lot of great memories, like the first time he held my hand. It was also the night we decided to start off fresh after starting off on the wrong foot the day we met. It was also the night I learned Nate's full name. Nathaniel Carter. The very name that corresponds to the initials on the front of the card, and my heartache. He's the one behind it all, but no matter how hard I try to put him behind me and move on, I can never forget him. Especially not when he does things like this.

I slowly open the card and prepare my heart for the worst because I really don't know what to expect. Inside the card, I find a note written in his handwriting.

"Beauty starts in your head, not your mirror." - Joubert Botha

For once, look at yourself through my eyes. See what I see when I look at you because to me, you are absolutely beautiful inside and out. You just need to learn to see it and believe it, and when you do, you will love yourself as much as I love you.

I see a tear fall onto the card and lift my hand to my cheek to find it wet with tears. I wipe them away with the back of my hand and take a deep breath to help reign in my emotions and read the last line

"When you love yourself, that is when you are most beautiful." - Zoe Kravitz.

I sit there in silence and read the card over and over again, and cry my heart out more and more each time I go over his beautiful words that touched me so deeply. When I finally feel ready, I put the card to the side and grab the stack of pictures.

I look through them one by one and take in every single picture, admiring Nate's work as a photographer. I never thought I would say this, but I'm actually loving the pictures he took of me.

The first few pictures sitting atop the huge stack of pictures are from the very first day we met. The very same day he took pictures of me without my permission and I got mad at him. Just the thought makes me laugh.

I feel a tear fall down my cheek and quickly wipe it away.

I keep looking through the pictures, and finally, find one from a different day and stare at it in surprise because this picture is from the first time I helped Gracie look for her wedding dress. I had no idea he even took any pictures of me that day. I thought he only took pictures of Gracie, but he clearly snuck in a few of me too when I wasn't looking and I'm not mad. Not mad at all.

For once, I can see pictures of myself and not loathe what I see. Not even the ones that are taken from a side profile and show my double chin. Usually, I would hate seeing my double chin reflected in any picture, but not today, because that double chin is a part of me and is only showing because I am smiling so big. That is nothing to be ashamed of. I like seeing myself happy through Nate's eyes.

He is the reason I am so happy in these pictures. I may not have realized it then, but I do now.

I keep flipping through the pictures and find ones of me in the mint colored dresses I tried on for Gracie's wedding. I love how all the different dresses look on me, but my favorite is still without a doubt the one I chose. I'm so glad I picked it and cannot wait to dawn it at Gracie's wedding.

I smile sadly at the thought. Gracie's wedding day is going to be one bittersweet day. I'm happy I'm going to get to walk down the aisle with the man I love, but knowing he's no longer mine is going to hurt. I wonder if he'll have another date for the wedding since he and I aren't together anymore. He has every right to date again and I can't say anything. The thought alone kills me but there isn't anything I can do.

I shake off the thought and keep flipping through the pictures of me in all the mint colored dresses and feel my heart jump when I stumble upon the picture of Nate and I in the dressing room.