Today's the day I stop running.

I want to curl up in a ball and go back to sleep, but I can't do that. Not anymore. I have to take on my responsibilities and continue my life as if nothing happened. It sucks to have to pretend when I feel like I lost a big piece of myself when I lost Nate, but it's either that or sulking in the thoughts of what could have been and I don't have time for that. Life goes on and it's time I start making an effort to move on.

"Morning! How are you feeling today?" Mia asks groggily as she walks into my room and lays down next to me on my bed.

"Like I want to curl up in a ball and go back to sleep," I say honestly.

"Let's call out sick and sleep in all day," Mia suggests and as much as I love her idea, I know full well I can't run away forever. I have bills to pay and a life to live.

"As amazing as that sounds, I don't think that's a good idea. I have to go back to work," I tell her with a sigh.

"Are you sure you're ready?"

I shake my head. "No, but I can't run away forever. I need to resume my life and go back to the way things used to be before Nate walked into my life with his stupidly gorgeous face."

"If you need another day, I'm sure Betty will give it to you. You never miss work and you have a lot of vacation and sick days anyway, so it's not like you're asking for days off that you haven't already earned."

"I know but Betty has already been kind enough to give me a few days off. I don't want her to feel like I'm taking advantage of her."

"She would never think that, but I get why you feel that way. Just remember I'll be there with you. If you feel like you need a breather just come get me. I'll cover for you while you take a break and get it together."

"You're the best."

"I know," she responds with a smile and a laugh.

"I take it back. You don't need to hear that. Your ego is big enough for the both of us already."

"Too bad! There are no take-backs," she tells me, sticking out her tongue at me and jumps up from the bed. "Now get up and take a shower. Work is calling us."

"That it is," I respond with a sigh and sluggishly climb out of bed. "Go get ready. I'll be done in a bit."

"Sounds good." Mia leaves me alone but instead of picking out my clothes I just sit on my bed in silence trying to think of what I'm going to tell Betty. I know she would never judge me, but I still feel bad for taking days off for personal reasons.

"I knew this would happen," I hear Mia say and look up to find her leaning against my doorframe with her arms crossed. "Don't overthink this. Betty's not upset, I promise."

"I know," I say with a sigh. "She's too nice to get mad at me, but I honestly deserve her wrath."

"No, you don't. Now stop saying that," she tells me before joining me on my bed again. "I get that you feel guilty because you missed work, but people miss work all the time for no good reason. You have not missed work once since you started working at the bridal store, so you have nothing to feel bad about. You needed those days and I know Betty would gladly give you a few more if you needed it."

"I'm done sitting around moping. I need to move on and forget about Nate."

"You don't mean that," she says, and I feel a sob claw it's way up my throat.

"I don't have a choice," I whisper on the brink of tears. "Nate will never take me back. Not after what I did," I say, feeling the weight of what Johnny and I did, sitting heavily on my shoulders.

"What are you talking about, Alexa? What did you do?" she asks clearly confused.

"I did one of the worst things I could ever do," I admit.

I cheated.

Mia steps into the room and kneels down in front of where I'm sitting on the bed and grabs my hands in hers but I refuse to meet her gaze. "Alexa, look at me," she pleads and when I don't meet her gaze, her finger curls under my chin and lifts it, forcing me to meet her gaze.

"I did something really fucked up," I admit.

"Whatever happened, you can tell me," she says, squeezing my hands in a reassuring manner.

I bite my trembling lip and shake my head in disbelief.

How did I get here?

I am not a cheater.

I never would have cheated.

But when Johnny kissed me, I lost all sense of reason and became what I hate most. A cheater.

"Where'd you go?" Mia asks me squeezing my hand and I mentally shake off all the thoughts clouding my mind.

"Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind."

"No kidding," she says with a smile but when I don't smile back, it falls off her face. "Whatever happened, you know I would never judge you, right?"

"I know. It's just...I hate myself for what I did. It's been eating at me since the day it happened and I just don't know how to tell Nate."

"You can try telling me. Maybe I can help you."

"I don't think you can," I say with a sad smile. There's nothing that could fix or change my situation. I dug my own grave the day I kissed Johnny back.

"Let me try."

I sigh and she gives my hands a reassuring squeeze, letting me know I can trust her with my secret. And I do trust her, but I'm afraid of what she'll think of me after she hears what I did. She and I have always been loyal to a T, so I know she won't see my confession coming. I just hope she sees me the same after I tell her.

"I-I...I cheated on Nate. With Johnny," I mutter under my breath but I know she heard me loud and clear. She stays quiet and I wait for her to say something but she just stares at me in shock. "Mia, please say something," I plead. "Don't leave me hanging. Not now."

"Sorry, I-I just...I wasn't expecting this."

"I'm a horrible person, aren't I?"

"No, of course not. Everyone makes mistakes."

"This isn't just any mistake though. It's infidelity."

"What happened?"

"The day I came back, Johnny went to my parent's house to see me off and he kissed me," I confess.

"He kissed you. You didn't kiss him," she quickly interjects but she doesn't know how far off from the truth she is.

"I did kiss him back," I tell her, knowing there's no point in beating around the bush.

"Do you have feelings for, Johnny?" she asks me and I bite my lip.

"I don't know," I say, feeling confused. "I honestly never saw him as anything more than a friend but then I went back home and things changed between us. He confessed to me that he's had feelings for me for years but he never had the courage to tell me. He even asked me if he had a chance and I obviously said no but I'm so confused right now."

"That's normal."

"Is it?"

"Yes, you just broke up with Nate. It's normal for you to be upset over it. Especially with the way he ended things."

"He already hates me. Imagine when he finds out I cheated."

"He doesn't hate you, Alexa."

"Well, if he doesn't, he will when I finally tell him what I did."

"When are you planning to tell him?"

"I don't know. I'm scared," I say honestly. "I can learn to live without him, but I don't know if I could live knowing that he hates me."

"I know he's going to be hurt when you tell him but I don't think he's capable of hating you, Alexa. He loves you too much for that."

"He won't love me anymore when he learns the truth."

"You don't know that. Maybe he can find it in himself to forgive you," she says but I don't feel hopeful at all.

"I hope so but I'm not sure he'll ever be able to forgive me, and honestly, I wouldn't blame him. If he had cheated on me, I would be upset too."

"Why did you even leave? What happened before the kiss with Johnny?"

"The day we went to the movies, I saw a client kiss him outside his place and jumped to conclusions, thinking the worst. I honestly thought he was cheating on me."

"Was he?"

"No," I say with a sigh. "He told me he pushed her away and that he refuses to work with her again."

"And you believe that?"

"Of course, I do. He hasn't given me any reason not to trust him despite what happened with that client. I really wish I hadn't jumped the gun like I did, but it's too late. I fucked up, Mia. I literally fucked up the best thing that ever happened to me and now I don't know how to fix it."

"You have to tell him what happened with, Johnny. The sooner you get it off your chest, the better."

"I know but how do you even begin to bring that up?"

"There is no right way. You just have to do it. Think of it like ripping off a bandaid. The sooner you do it, the better."

"Fuck my life. I hate this so much."

"I know, Alexa. But remember, I'm here for you no matter what."

"Thanks, Mia," I say with a small smile. "I don't know what I would do without you."

"You would probably grow bored."

"I probably would," I say with a laugh, feeling grateful that I have her by my side.

"We should go out tonight," Mia suggests excitedly, making me laugh.

"Where?" I honestly don't care to go out tonight.

"How about a bar? Or even better, a club?!"

"You know I don't like clubbing."

"I know but you need to relax."

"On a work night?" I ask her like it's a crime and she snorts.

"Yes! You need to live a little and I'm going to help you."

"What about Matt?"

"What about him? Tonight is just about us two. No guys. Just you and I."

"If we're avoiding guy's, why are we going to a club of all places? Those places are filled with guy's looking for single ladies."

"There are men everywhere. You can't avoid them forever."

"Point taken."

"So are you in?" she asks me and I bite my lip nervously, feeling like this is all just one bad idea. "Come on, Alexa! Please!" she begs and I groan.

"Fine. I'll go but we're getting an Uber just in case either of us drinks."

"I don't mind being the designated driver," she offers, taking me by surprise. Usually, I end up being the designated driver.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, you always have my back when I drink, so tonight it's my turn," she tells me with a smile and I happily agree.

"Guess we're going out after work then."

"Yes! Girls night!" Mia yells excitedly as she runs out of my room, leaving me alone to get ready for my first day back at work.

***

"Alexa, I'm so glad you're back," Betty says to me as soon as I walk into the bridal store.

"Thanks. I'm sorry I was gone for so long," I respond as I walk up to the front register where she's standing.

"No need to apologize, sweetie. You should always put your wellbeing first." She walks around the counter to give me a hug. I happily accept her motherly affection and thank her silently for always being so understanding. "How are you holding up?" she asks me as she pulls back to look me in the eyes.

"I'm good."

"You don't need to pretend with me," she says, seeing right through me.

I bite my trembling lip and nod before looking down at my hands. "Not great," I finally answer honestly. "But I'm hanging in there."

"If you need to talk, I'm here for you," she tells me and I know she means every word. She's very affectionate and cares a lot about all her employees. She treats us as if we were her own daughters, and I'm so thankful to her for not only giving me this job but for caring about me as much as she does.

"I really appreciate it, Betty. If I need to, I will definitely take you up on your word," I tell her with a smile. "Now tell me, what do you need me to do today?"

"Well we have one client who is coming back to look at more dresses and she specifically asked for you."

"Great. When will she be here?" I ask just as someone enters the store and yells my name a little too loudly. I turn just in time to catch an overly excited Gracie in my arms.

"I'm so happy to see you too!" I say with a laugh as I pull her in for a hug.

"I love you, Alexa," she responds with a grin.

"I love you too. Are you here by yourself?"

"Yeah," she says with a huff. "I tried to get Nate to come but he said he had a photo shoot with a client, so he couldn't be here."

"That's too bad," I respond and feel slightly relieved that I won't be seeing him today. It's one thing for him to ask me to keep pretending to be his girlfriend, and it's a whole other thing to actually go through with it and lie to Gracie of all people. It's wrong and I don't want to do it. But when it comes to Nate, I have a hard time saying no. Even if it means getting hurt. He is my biggest weakness.

"Don't worry. You and I will have fun without him," I reassure her.

"I know we will," she responds, perking up before turning towards Betty. "Hi, Betty!" Gracie greets my boss excitedly and pounces on her, giving her a big bear hug. "I missed you."

"I missed you too," Betty responds with a laugh. "I'm so glad you're back."

"There's no other store I would rather be than yours."

"There's no need to suck up. You know I love you no matter what."

"It's true, Betty. Your store is a brides dream. I absolutely love it here and always dreamed of the day I would get to come here and shop for my own wedding dress."

"Awe, Gracie. I never knew that. Well, I hope we can help you find your dream dress today."

"I hope so too," Gracie says with a hopeful smile.

"You are in amazing hands," Betty reassures her and beams proudly at me.

"The best," Gracie adds and I feel myself blush. This is way too much praise for my first day back.

"Thank you. Both of you," I say, feeling embarrassed and flattered all at the same time.

"I don't want to keep you two any longer. Go look at dresses," Betty tells us, thankfully dismissing us and not drawing attention the fact that I was blushing just now.

"Let's go!" Gracie says excitedly.

Betty leaves us to it and heads towards one of my other co-workers.

"Do you have a direction you want to go in today or are we winging this?" I ask Gracie.

"No, I brought some new ideas to help you," she says, pulling out her phone from her purse to show me some pictures of bridal gowns for inspiration.

"Wow, these are all gorgeous," I comment.

"You really think so?"

"Yes, and you're in luck because we actually have some of these in store for you to try on today."

"Are you serious?!" she asks excitedly and I nod. "You have to show me all of them."

"I will. Come this way." I lead her to the first seating area designated for brides and their guests and gesture for her to take a seat. "I'll be right back with your dresses."

"Can't wait. I'm so excited!" she practically shrieks, making me laugh.

"Good. Now, hold onto that excitement while I go look for your dresses." I make my way to the back of the store where we store the majority of our inventory.

We have thousands of dresses in stock, but luckily I know our inventory like the back of my hand and quickly find all the dresses we have from Gracie's pictures. We don't have too many of them but I feel optimistic that one of the dresses is going to be 'the one.'

"She's back," Mia tells Gracie right as I walk up to them with a stack of dresses piled over my arm. Mia leaves us to get down to business but not before wishing Gracie luck finding her dress.

"Ready to try on some dresses?" I ask her and she immediately jumps up from her seat.

"Never been more ready in my life."

"That's just what I wanted to hear," I tell her with a big smile. "Now follow me." I lead her to the nearest dressing room and hang all the dresses on a rack placed inside the room. "Which one would you like to start with?"

"Surprise me," she says and I pick my personal favorite out of all of the dresses and hand it to her.

"Let me know if you need any help." I step out of the dressing room and wait patiently outside the door while she slips the dress on. I hear some sniffles coming from inside the dressing room but don't think anything of it until Gracie opens the door to the dressing room and reveals a tear streaked face.

"Gracie, what's wrong? I hope those are happy tears."

"They are! So many happy tears!" she responds as she breaks into a sob.

"Oh, come here," I tell her and pull her in for a hug. "I'm glad you love the dress but why all the tears?"

"I think this is it," she murmurs before pulling back to look me in the eyes.

"Okay, hold that thought," I tell her and she looks at me like I'm crazy. "Just trust me." She nods and I take that as a sign of faith.

I make my way around her, being careful not to step on the dress and zip it up in the back. "Now come with me," I tell her, offering my hand and she takes it.

I take her back to the seating area that is intended for family and friends to see the brides to be in their gowns and regret it immediately. Unlike most brides, Gracie doesn't have anyone here with her to support her. It breaks my heart to know she has no one here for her. This moment is so important for brides to be and she has no one to share it with. It's just sad.

I know Gracie considers me a friend and I have come to love her in the little time I have known her, but having me here with her is not the same as having Nate or one of her close friends or family members. As much as I don't want to see Nate, I can't help but wish that he was here. Not for me, but for Gracie.

Gracie deserves to have her brother here, but for whatever stupid reason he bailed on her last minute. Right now, I kind of hate him for ditching Gracie when she clearly needed him more than his client. I think it's just an excuse to avoid seeing me. But who knows? I could be wrong. I sure hope I am. Gracie deserves better than this.

I sigh internally and turn towards Gracie to see her staring at the empty seats. She doesn't voice her thoughts, but I know she's disappointed no one could make it to her appointment.

She turns toward me and I see sadness etched in her eyes. I wish so bad I could make it all go away. Nothing is going to make up for no one being here for her, but I'm going to do everything I can to make her the happiest bride to ever walk into this bridal store.

"Gracie," she turns towards me and I smile. "I need you to get on the small platform and turn away from the mirror."

"Okay," she says in a small voice, and my heart breaks for her.

Stupid Nate.

Why couldn't he just forget our problems and come for his sister? Screw what's happening between us. We're both adults and should not be hurting the ones we love because of our problems. What happened between us is between him and I. It has nothing to do with Gracie. Yet, he's making her suffer the consequences. It's just wrong.

I help Gracie up onto the platform and straighten out the dress so it looks perfect.

"You trust me, right?" I ask her and she nods. "Good. I need you to close your eyes while I go get something for you. It'll be worth the wait, I promise."

Her eyes fall closed and I quickly make my way to the section of the store where we keep our veils and tiaras. I pick out the most gorgeous tiara and veil we have and take it back to where she's still standing with her eyes still closed.

"I need you to keep your eyes closed for me."

"Okay."

"Now lean forward just a bit." I tuck the clip of the veil into her hair and secure the tiara to her head with bobby pins. "Now stand up," I tell her when it's all held firmly in place. When she straightens up I can't help but smile. She looks absolutely gorgeous.