It's dawn and I'm still wide awake. I have tried just about everything to fall asleep but no matter how many sheep I count or how many times I change my position, I can't go to sleep and I'm frustrated as heck.

I turn towards the old alarm clock sitting on my nightstand and have to blink a few times to clear my blurry vision. When I can finally see clearly I see that the blaring red numbers show that it's already five in the morning.

I sigh out loud in frustration and pull my bed sheets over my head, wishing so hard that I could just fall asleep, but no matter how hard I wish for sleep to overcome me it doesn't happen and the longer I lie awake in bed, the more I think about Nate and Johnny.

I can't get them out of my head for the life of me.

I want to make things right with Nate, but at the same time, I can't stop thinking about Johnny. Johnny has always been a great friend to me and even though we lost touch, our friendship never changed. We are still the same great friends we always have been, the only difference now is that I now know Johnny has feelings for me. Feelings I can't forget about.

He loves me and has for years now. I don't know when or how he fell in love with me, but it all makes so much sense now. The way he used to play with loose strands of my hair whenever it would fall in front of my face, how he'd "accidentally" touch me or the way he'd look at me when we were doing homework. Sometimes I thought he was spacing out when he would just stare at me, but I realize now that he was really looking at me.

I smack my face, feeling so stupid for not seeing the signs sooner.

I'm such an idiot.

I wish this new knowledge didn't change anything, but it does, because now just the thought of being around Johnny makes me nervous. I obviously feel bad about this because he's still my friend, but now that I know that he sees me as more than just a friend and has made it clear that he wants more from me, I can't help but want to put some distance between us because the last thing I want to do is lead him on. I can't give him what he wants, not when my heart belongs to Nate.

Nate is my everything and I hate that things between us are rough, but I also can't ignore what happened outside his apartment door. Not when he kissed that woman.

I can't just forgive him for something like that no matter how much I love him. He betrayed me and I cannot just lay here and pretend like it never happened, not when his betrayal is what brought me here. If it wasn't for what he did, I wouldn't be here. I would be with him, but I'm not.

His actions are what brought me back to the one place I have always felt safe, but today I'm determined to stop running and go back to face Nate no matter the outcome. I know full well that today is either going to end with us making up or it's going to end in heartbreak, and that alone terrifies me, but I can't let fear rule my life. Not anymore.

I am done being scared. I have to face the storm head-on, and whatever will be, will be.

I sigh aloud, yank my blankets off me and get out of bed, giving up completely on trying to fall asleep. There's no way I'm going to get any sleep at this point. It's useless, so I make my bed, get dressed and pack up my stuff before heading downstairs to make some coffee.

"You're up early," my dad comments as he steps in the kitchen and sits across from me at the dining room table.

"I could say the same thing about you."

"Touché," he responds with a grin.

"Why are you up so early?" It isn't like him to be up before six.

"I heard you shuffling things around in your room, so I figured I'd come check on you to make sure you're okay."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," I say apologetically.

"It's fine. I'm just concerned about you because we both know just how much you love sleeping, but you look like you didn't even get a wink of sleep," he tells me with a small smile, but I can see the worry etched in his face.

"I didn't," I admit with a sigh, knowing there's no point in lying.

"What's wrong? You know you can tell me anything," he tells me just as the coffeemaker finishes.

"I'll get it," I quickly get up and grab two mugs from the cupboard and fill them with coffee. I hand my dad his mug and place mine on my placemat before grabbing two spoons, sugar, and the creamer from the fridge. I take my seat across from my dad and prepare my coffee with lots of creamer. "Can you pass me the sugar packets?" My dad hands them to me and we both finish preparing our coffee in silence, but I know it's only a matter of time before he starts prying again.

"So what's going on with you?" my dad asks, finally breaking the silence, but I refuse to meet his gaze. "Alexa, please. Tell me what's going on with you," he pleads. "I've never seen you this upset. Are you having boy troubles?" he asks me, hitting the nail on the head.

"Something like that," I mutter.

"Do I need to beat any boy's up?" I take a sip from my mug and shake my head.

"Dad, he's not a boy. He's a man and you don't need to beat him up."

"Are you sure? I may be in my fifties, but I still pack a mean punch."

"I know you do but I will not let you hit the guy I love."

"I knew this was more than just a simple crush," he says with a smile.

"Definitely not just a crush," I confirm as he takes a sip from his own coffee.

"I figured as much."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because you're my little girl. I know when you're hurting. The day you arrived your eyes were puffy and bloodshot from crying. I could tell something was wrong, but I wasn't sure what. The moment you started crying in my arms, I knew that your heart was breaking, and I wanted so badly to console you but you put up a tough front and told us you didn't want to talk about it. We respected your wishes but it was hard sitting there, pretending you weren't falling apart on the inside. It broke me to see you like that," he tells me and I can see that it hurts him to say all this. When I hurt, he hurts.

"All I want is to protect you and make everything right, but you're not my little girl anymore as much as I wish you were. You're a full-fledged woman now, who can take care of herself, and I'm so proud of the woman you have become," he tells me with so much pride and love, I just want to cry. My dad is seriously the sweetest and I am one lucky girl because I have the most amazing dad ever. No one could ever compare to him.

"Dad, stop. You're making me get all misty-eyed," I tell him with a small smile and blink away the tears that are threatening to spill.

"I just want you to know that I'm proud of you and that you can tell me anything."

"I know, dad. It's just hard, you know?"

"Love is hard, pumpkin. No one ever said it was easy."

"You can say that again," I respond with a dry laugh and take a big gulp from my mug.

"There's no one way to deal with love. Love happens when you least expect it and when it happens, it takes over the core of your very existence."

"You sound like a love guru or something," I tease him.

"I'm definitely not a love guru," he responds with a laugh before taking a sip of his coffee. "I just learned from experience. It wasn't always easy, but it was worth going through all the ups and downs that love threw my way because it all led me to your mom."

I can't help but awe at my dad's response. "How'd you know she was the one?"

"I just did. There was something about your mom that was special. The way that I felt about her was unlike anything I had ever felt before," he tells me with a big smile. "I like to think she was made for me."

"Like a soulmate?"

"Exactly. I don't truly know if there is even such a thing as soulmates, but if there is, I have no doubt that I found mine."

"I think I found mine too. Well, at least I thought I did up until two days ago. Now I'm not so sure," I say honestly and my dad looks confused by my response.

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing. Forget it," I tell him with a sigh and take another large gulp from my mug to give myself something to do.

"Alexa, don't tell me to forget it. I can't just forget that you cried all night when you slept here your first night."

"I did?" I respond in surprise and he nods.

I had no idea I had cried in my sleep but was relieved that my parents didn't make a big deal out of it. They just left it alone and for that, I was thankful, because if they had pressed the issue, I would have broken down and there would be absolutely no consoling me. The fact that my parents have just let me be has helped me a lot. It also helps to know that despite what happened, Nate and I aren't completely over and that we still have a fighting chance. That's the only thing keeping me going at this point.

"Yes. Your mom and I wanted to wake you up, but we decided to leave you be because we knew you didn't want to talk about what happened, but I want to talk about it now. I want to help you, pumpkin. Let me help you," he pleads.

"I don't think you can, but you can lend me your ear. Maybe even your shoulder," I say with a smile and he stands up and extends his hand towards me.

"Let's go sit outside on the porch swing and watch the sunrise."

"What about our coffee? It's going to get cold."

"We can always make some more." I put my hand in his and follow him outside to the porch swing. I take a seat first and he follows, sitting down right next to me. I lean my head on his shoulder and even though I cannot see him, I have this feeling he's smiling.

"Do you really want to know what happened?" I ask him.

He stays quiet for a moment before speaking up and says, "Only if you're ready,"

I sigh. "I'm ready as I'll ever be."

"Take your time. There's no rush," he tells me and puts his hand on my knee and gives it a gentle squeeze.

"The guy in question is Nate," I tell my dad and he listens intently as I speak. "I love him, dad. I love him so much, it hurts. I never thought love would hurt this much, but I don't regret falling for him one bit, because he has shown me what true love is."

"He sounds like a great guy," my dad comments and I can't help but smile at the thought of Nate. My dad would love him if he met him, but right now, I'm not sure if that will ever even happen, so I don't think about it. Instead, I focus on our conversation.

"He is. He's an amazing person and I am lucky to have him in my life."

"But he did something that upset you, didn't he?"

"Yes. He betrayed me," I tell my dad and he freezes up. "He cheated," I add. "Well, at least I think he did," I add unsure.

"You think?" he asks confused and I sit up to look him in the eyes.

"I closed my eyes just as the woman kissed him. I just couldn't bear the sight of him kissing anyone else that isn't me," I say out loud and now that I've said it, I feel like it just makes me sound like a jealous teenager.

"Did he kiss her back?"

"I-I don't know. I'm assuming he did. I mean she kissed him, so why wouldn't he kiss her back?" I say, feeling flustered.

"You don't know for sure though, so how can you be so sure he betrayed you?"

"I just am," I respond frustrated and realize I'm taking out my frustration on the wrong person.

"Alexa, you need to talk to this boy. This may all be a misunderstanding," my dad tells me, trying to make me see reason.

"I don't think so, dad. The woman kissed him. I know what I saw."

"I think you should give him the benefit of the doubt if you love him."

"Well, you'll be glad to know I'm going back today. I want to talk to him now that I've had a few days to clear my head."

"Good. I hope everything works out for the best, and if things don't work out like you hope, you can always come back here. Your mom and I are here for you no matter what."

"Thanks, dad but I'm not running away anymore. I need to put on my big girl panties and confront my issues head-on," I tell him, making him chuckle.

"I wasn't expecting to hear that of all things, but good for you, pumpkin. Go and take life by the horns," he tells me with a smile and gives me a kiss on the forehead before pulling me into his side.

I lay my head on his shoulder and together we watch the beautiful sunrise, which I haven't seen in years.

"This is nice," I comment as we watch the sunrise.

"It really is," my dad adds just as a camera shutter goes off. I quickly turn in the direction of the sound, hoping to see Nate and his camera, but feel my heart fall in disappointment when I realize it's just my mom taking a picture of us with her digital camera.

"Hey mom," I greet her and she smiles.

"Hey, sweetie. How are you this lovely morning?" she asks me a little too upbeat for this time of day.

"Okay," I respond with a shrug.

"Okay?! Well, don't you worry. I'm going to turn that frown upside down with some delicious crepes that will be filled with your favorite cheesecake filling and homemade strawberry jelly," she tells me with a wink and I smile.

"I can't wait."

"I'll call you two when they're ready," she tells us and leaves us by ourselves.

"I'm going to miss you two," I tell my dad as we continue watching the sky that is brightly lit by the sun.

"We're going to miss you too, so don't become a stranger and come visit us when you can."

"I will. I promise."

"And bring that boy of yours. What's his name?"

"Nate."

"Well bring Nate next time you visit, so we can meet him."

"Dad, you don't even know if things are going to work out between us."

"I may not but I have faith they will."

"I hope you're right," I respond with a sigh.

"Just have faith," he tells me and I nod as we fall into silence and continue observing the beautiful day out. Hopefully, it's a sign that today is going to be a good day for me.

"Food's ready!" my mom yells from the kitchen and we both go inside and eat our breakfast at the table with my mom, who is so chirpy you'd think she won the lottery or something.

My mom talks and talks the entire time and my dad and I just listen to her go on and on about anything and everything. It feels just like old times. A part of me is sad to leave this all behind again, but I have to go back and make things right. Until I do, I won't feel right.

"I should get going," I tell my parents after I finish my plate of food and my dad nods.

"Already? Are you sure you don't want to stay for lunch," my mom asks and I shake my head.

"No, I really need to go, but I will come back and visit as soon as I can," I promise her and they smile.

"Go get your stuff. We'll walk you out," my mom tells me.

I quickly run upstairs and grab my duffel bag and my purse before making my way out of my room. I look at my turquoise room one last time and close the door behind me.

I slowly descend the steps and meet my parents at the bottom of the stairs where they're waiting for me. They both smile at me and lead the way outside to my car. I open the trunk and throw my stuff inside and close it before going to stand in front of my parents who are standing by the driver side door.

"This is it," my mom says.

"Yes, but I'll be back," I promise my mom for what feels like the umpteenth time.

"We're gonna miss you," my mom tells me and I can tell she's on the brink of tears.

"I'm going to miss you too but don't you dare cry," I warn her and she laughs.

"I won't. I promise." She wipes the corner of her eyes just as someone yells, "Alexa! Wait up!"

I turn back to see Johnny running towards us and smile. I wave to him before turning back to face my parents.

"Goodbye, sweetie. Have a safe trip," my mom tells me and I give her a hug and thank her for taking care of me the last two days.

"Come back and visit soon pumpkin," my dad says and I give him the biggest bear hug.

"I will. Maybe I'll even bring Mia next time."

"You should. It's been forever since we've seen that crazy best friend of yours," my dad says with a grin, making me laugh. It makes me happy to know that my parents love and care about Mia just as much as I do. They haven't even known her that long, but they immediately took a liking to her when I brought her over for the first time sometime after I met her at work.

"I'll let her know you said that."

"I'm sure she'll laugh if you do," he says amused.

"She probably would, knowing her," I admit.

"Tell her we said hi," my mom interjects and I nod just as Johnny strides up to us.

"We'll leave you two alone. See you later, sweetie," my mom tells me and both her and my dad wave goodbye to me before making their way inside the house.

"I didn't mean to interrupt," Johnny apologizes.

"You didn't interrupt. We were just saying goodbye."

"I actually came to say goodbye too."

"Shouldn't you be at work?" I ask him confused by the fact that he's here.

"Yes, but I wanted to see you off."

"But your job...," I stammer.

"Is covered," he assures me.

"You didn't have to come all this way just to say goodbye," I insist. "We could have hung out later."

"I know. I wanted to say goodbye in person though, but if my presence bothers you that much, I'll just go," Johnny says playfully, making me laugh.

"No, of course not. I just hate that you're missing work because of me."

"It's fine. A sub is covering for me."

"Yeah but time is money."

"You're far more valuable than any amount of money I could ever earn," he says with a wink.

"Oh my God. You're so freaking cheesy, Johnny," I say with a laugh and he chuckles.

"What? Women eat that kind of stuff up," he says with a big grin and I shake my head.

"Yeah, well I'm not like most women."

"I know. You're special," he says with a small smile.

"You know, you kind of say that a lot," I point out and he smirks.

"I guess I do, but if I say it a lot, it's because I mean it."

"Whatever you say, Mr. Hardy," I tease him, making him chuckle.

"It's true."

"If you insist."

"I'm really gonna miss you," he interjects with a sad smile.

"I'm going to miss you too, but stop treating this like this is the last time you're ever going to see me. We're going to hang out again, and I'm going to make sure of it."

"You better."

"I will," I promise.

"Do you still have the same number?" he asks.

"I do. I never felt the need to change it, since I don't have any crazy exes or anything like that."

"Are you saying I do?" he asks amused.

"I don't know. Do you?"

"Maybe just one but I blocked her number," he says smugly.

"I'm not surprised."

"That I have a crazy ex or that I blocked her number?"

"That you have a crazy ex," I respond amused.

"Well, it's not my fault."

"It's not mine either," I retort and he immediately breaks eye contact. "What aren't you telling me, Johnny?"

"Don't ask. You don't want to know."

"I think I do. Especially when you refuse to look at me."

"You're going to hate me."

"Just tell me already. I'm not some little girl. I can handle hearing whatever it is you have to say."

"Fine but don't say I didn't warn you," he sighs and faces me to look me in the eyes. "When I left here and started college I dated a string of girls."

"Okay, what's so bad about that?" I ask him and he frowns.