《Far From Perfect》Chapter 20
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We make it to the front of the line and laugh and smile as we try to catch our breath.
"That was fun," I tell Nate as he presses himself to my back.
"It was," he responds, wrapping his arms around my waist.
"So this is what you wanted to ride?" Nate asks in surprise and I look up at him.
"Yup. This is it," I answer as I turn my head and look at the slightly enclosed strawberries that are spinning round and round. They are basically like the teacups in the happiest place on earth, but the difference is that these are shaped like strawberries and they are huge and enclosed. They aren't completely private but if Nate and I angle ourselves well enough we can get away with kissing while the strawberry spins in circles.
"I can't believe you want to go on this."
"Why? Are you afraid I'll get dizzy."
"No, this is a kids ride."
"That's what you think," I tell him with a wink and he just shakes his head in disbelief. He clearly doesn't care for this ride, but I'm going to change his mind.
The ride comes to a full stop a few minutes later and the ride operator unloads all the strawberries, telling riders to head towards the exit. He double checks that everyone is off before letting all of us who are waiting in line on the ride. As soon as he lets us past the gate, I pull on Nate's arm and tell him to run.
I break into a sprint and he runs after me as I make my way towards the furthest strawberry on the ride. I burst into laughter, feeling giddy as a kid and Nate laughs with me every step of the way.
It's refreshing to hear him laugh. He hardly ever laughs the way he's laughing now. It's so carefree and lighthearted like him. I save the moment to memory, knowing this is one of those rare moments I get to see another side to Nate that he doesn't always let show, but when he does, it's with me and me alone.
We make it to the strawberry I had my eye on and jump inside before anyone can steal it from us.
"You surprise me every day, you know that?" he tells me as we take a seat across from each other.
"Why is that?"
"Because you make me feel like a kid all over again. I haven't laughed like that in a long time," he confesses and I'm glad that I'm the reason he laughed as much as he did.
"I felt the same way as we ran over here," I admit.
"You know, I've never felt this way with anyone before. One moment I feel like a kid when I'm with you, and the next moment I want you like I need air and water. The way I feel about you can go from completely innocent to full-fledged desire," he confesses and I see the fire dancing behind his eyes.
"Nate...," I plead. If he says anything else, I will burst into flames.
"Do you both know the rules?" I hear a voice ask, and am thankful for the interruption for once. I turn towards the ride operator and smile.
"We do."
"Enjoy your ride you two," he tells us and locks the small gate that is meant to keep us from falling out of the strawberry.
"Stay on your side, unless you want me like I want you," Nate says huskily, making me gulp. I do want him and had planned this whole thing for this very reason, but now that I have him in front of me practically offering himself to me, I can't help but feel nervous.
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The ride starts up with a small jump and before we know it we are starting to spin, but Nate does not take his eyes off me. I swallow back nervously but refuse to break eye contact with him.
He smirks and slowly slides around the wheel in the center of the ride that is used to make the ride go faster until he is right in front of me. I slide back on the bench until my back is pressed against the wall of the ride.
"What are you running from?"
"You," I admit nervously.
"Why? Are you afraid of me?" he asks me and I shake my head. "Then why run from me?"
"Because we need to restrain ourselves," I remind him, hoping he will rein himself in, but that doesn't seem likely, not with the way he is devouring me with his eyes.
"We do but not right now," he tells me and closes the distance between us, pressing his lips to mine. I sigh against his lips and grip his shirt, pulling him closer to me. He groans and I remind myself that this is the reason why I picked this as our first ride, but the fact that he is so intense unnerves me. I have no idea if he can fight his desires when he's like this. I just hope I'm strong enough to resist if he wants more.
He slowly trails kisses down my neck and sucks on the sweet spot on my neck that makes my toes curl. I bite my lip to keep from moaning and feel my defenses slowly begin to crumble as he continues covering my neck in soft sensual kisses.
I try to remember why I should stop him but I am as good as lost.
The only sane part that is left inside of me manages to clamor past the fog clouding my muddled brain and gives me the will to push him away, breaking our scorching hot kiss. He groans and tries to kiss me again but I press my hands harder into his chest as his shoulders lift and fall from his heavy breathing.
I didn't think it was possible but he's even more out of breath than when we kissed after I purchased the bracelets. Our kisses are getting more and more intense as the date goes on and as much as I enjoy it, we really need to slow down.
"Nate, listen to me."
"I'm listening," he responds in between breaths.
"I love you and enjoy kissing you but we seriously need to take it down a notch or two. This is starting to get intense, too fast," I tell him and watch as my words slowly extinguish the fire behind his eyes.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that," he apologizes and scoots away from me, putting distance between us but I am not having it. I scoot towards him and take his hand in my own.
"Nate, look at me," I tell him and he lifts his gaze from the ground. "You didn't do anything wrong. What happened was amazing and it's not your fault whatsoever. We just have really, really incredible chemistry and that's nothing you should be ashamed of, much less regret," I insist. "On, the contrary, it's amazing just how much love and chemistry exists between us. If there were any doubts about it, we can both rest assured that it's there waiting for the right moment. But right now, I just need you to slow down a bit for me. That's all," I assure him.
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"I know. I'm sorry. I don't know how the hell I let my desires cloud my judgment. It will never happen again. I promise."
"I believe you, now don't be glum," I tell him and kiss him on the cheek. "We can still hug and kiss, we just need to use a little bit more restraint, okay?"
"I get it," he tells me and kisses me on the forehead before pulling me into his side and holds me there for the rest of the ride.
"How was it?" The ride operator asks us as he lets us off.
"It was great."
"Do you want to go on again. There's room if you'd like to go for a second spin."
"We're good but thank you for offering," I tell him, knowing full well that Nate and I need to just walk around for a bit and breathe in the fresh air while we clear our heads.
"You're welcome. Have a great day," he responds before moving on to the next group of riders.
"Where to next?" Nate asks as we make our way towards the exit.
"How about we just walk around for a bit, and see what they're selling around here?"
"Sounds good to me." He leads the way towards the marketplace where people have booths set up in rows, selling all kinds of things from snacks, to handmade goods, to expensive jewelry and art.
"This is so cool," I comment as we walk past the first booth.
"If you see anything you like, just tell me. I'll gladly buy it for you," he offers and I shake my head.
"No deal. If I want anything I will buy it myself."
"You agreed to let me cover everything else from here on out," he reminds me and I sigh.
"How about you win me a stuffed animal instead?" I ask him and he smiles.
"Sure. Anything you want."
"Okay, let's go," I tell him and lead him towards the carnival games.
"Pick whichever one you like."
We walk past every single booth and after looking at all the stuffed animals I ask him to win the large fluffy puppy for me. It's pink and white and is made of the softest material. "You want the puppy?" He asks me and I nod. "Your wish is my command."
He pays the man in charge of the game and is given five balls to knock down all the bottles in front of him. He seems pretty confident but from my experience, this is no easy feat. I cross my fingers and watch him as he throws one ball after the other. He manages to knock a few down, but not enough to get the puppy I want.
"Here's your consolation prize," the man in charge of the game tells me and hands me a small stuffed bear.
"I'm going to get you that puppy," Nate tells me with so much determination, I actually believe him. I don't know how he is going to do it, but he's determined, and when he's determined he gets what he wants.
He fails a second time but manages to earn a small stuffed cat for me when he knocks down half the bottles, but he isn't ready to give up and pays for another game.
"Third times the charm," he tells me and I just nod, hoping he's right. He throws four of the balls and knocks down all the bottles except for one.
"You got this," I tell him as he holds onto the last ball and stares at the bottle that is between him and my puppy.
"You really think so?"
"I do."
"Before I throw, I need a kiss for good luck," he tells me, bringing a smile to my face.
"It's yours."
He hooks his finger under my chin and kisses me.
"That's all I need...For now," he adds with a wink and throws the last ball.
I watch it slowly fly towards the bottle and feel my breath catch in my throat as it hits the neck of the bottle. The bottle sways back and forth a few times and finally after what feels like forever, it falls onto its side. I jump into Nate's arms, wanting to celebrate his victory. He hugs me tight to him and spins me in circles. I laugh and enjoy the moment, not caring if people are staring at us or not. The only thing that matters is us, nothing else.
He puts me down and gives me another kiss before telling me to choose which of the stuffed puppies I want. I choose the one I had first laid eyes on and the man in charge of the game congratulates us as he hands me my pink and white puppy. I hug her to my chest and rub my face on her, loving the feel of her soft fur on my face. I thank the man and continue my hug fest with my stuffed puppy as we start walking absentmindedly.
"She's perfect. Thank you so much for winning her! You are officially the best boyfriend in the whole wide world," I tell him with a big smile, making him laugh.
"I couldn't ask for a better prize than that," he tells me and gives me a kiss on the forehead. "I'm really glad you like her."
"I love her! She's going on my bed as soon as I get home."
"Does that mean you will be snuggling with her at night?"
"Of course! She's the size of a body pillow. Why wouldn't I snuggle with her?"
"Because you have me," he answers, sounding almost jealous. It's rather funny that he's envious of a stuffed animal of all things.
"Not at night."
"You can if you want," he offers and I shake my head.
"Tempting but no. You know as well as I do that we can't be in a bed together. It would get hot fast, and we don't need any more temptation than we already have," I tell him bluntly, not wanting to beat around the bush.
"My offer stands if you change your mind," he tells me with a wink, making me laugh.
"Nice try but the answer is still no."
"I know," he responds seriously. "I will wait as long as it takes until you're ready and when you are, I am going to show you exactly what you have been missing out on," he promises, making me gulp. I suddenly feel really, really hot. I turn away from his piercing gaze and see that we have found ourselves back at the rides when we stop walking.
"Ready to go on some more rides?" I ask Nate, changing the subject. He agrees but it's obvious that he wants to say more, but for the time being, we forget about it and ride every ride we can until nighttime falls upon us.
We steer clear from the strawberries, not wanting to relive our heated kiss. As amazing as it was, we aren't quite ready to go far in our relationship, and I am perfectly happy taking things slow with him and he seems to be too.
"I think we have been on just about every ride at this point," Nate says as we finish our food under the starlit sky.
"I think so, although there is still one ride we haven't gone on..."
"The Ferris wheel," Nate fills in and I nod. "We saved the best for last."
"The best?"
"Everyone knows it's the most romantic ride at the fair," he tells me with so much conviction I can't help but laugh.
"I wouldn't know. I've never been on a Ferris wheel," I admit with a shrug.
"You mean like ever?"
"Never ever," I admit embarrassed.
"So I'm going to be your first?"
"Yes. Unless you've changed your mind?"
"Nope. No way am I backing out. Let's go," he tells me and throws away our trash before taking my hand in his. I interlace my fingers with his and give his hand a gentle squeeze. He returns it and cracks a smile as he leads the way towards the Ferris wheel. "I still can't believe you've never been on a Ferris wheel before," Nate tells me, making me sound like some kind of anomaly.
"I never really had anyone to ride with growing up."
"What about your parents?"
"They weren't big on rides. They would go on a few rides with me just to make me happy, but they never bothered taking me on the Ferris wheel and I didn't ask, so it's partially my fault."
"What about Mia?"
"Mia and I have never been to the fair together," I admit and realize that Mia and I really need to change that.
"Well I'm glad I can be your first," he tells me with a wink just as someone yells his name from behind. He quickly turns around and rips his hand out of mine to catch the girl that is running towards him. She jumps into his arms and he catches her, but nearly falls over the moment her body impacts his.
I look at my now empty hand that is still warm from his touch, and clench it in a fist, feeling suddenly angry that someone is touching Nate besides me. I look up from my fist and see Nate staring at the girl, who is clinging to him like a monkey on a tree.
I clear my throat and he quickly lowers her to the ground, but she doesn't let that stop her and wraps her claws around him as she pulls him into a hug. He keeps his hands in the air to keep from touching her, but that doesn't ease my anger one bit, because he isn't doing anything to get her off of him.
He gives me an apologetic look, but I am too livid to care. If he isn't going to do anything about the girl clinging to him, then neither am I. She can have him.
I turn away from him and start walking in the opposite direction with my stuffed animals at my side, not caring who sees. I am done.
I am halfway towards the exit when I hear him yelling my name. I consider stopping, but I'm too mad to hear him out. I turn to my right and walk through a crowd of people, trying to lose myself in the crowd, but it proves to be useless. He finds me and pulls me to a stop, holding onto my arm, but I refuse to turn back and look at him.
"Alexa, don't do this," he says and I feel the first tear fall on my cheek. "Baby, come on. Look at me," he pleads and I shake my head as more tears start rolling down my cheeks out of anger.
I feel angry and hurt because I trusted him with my heart, and he didn't do anything to protect it. What hurts the most is that he did absolutely nothing about the girl. He just let her cling to him like she had every right to and made no conscious effort to tell her I was his girlfriend. If he had stopped her and told her who I was, it would have been different, but he didn't. He just stood there dumbfounded and did absolutely nothing but hurt me in the process.
"Alexa, please. Let me explain," he pleads.
I turn on my heel to face him head on and pull my hand out of his. He gives me a hurt look and I nearly scoff, because I'm the one who should be hurt here. Not him.
"There's nothing to explain, Nate. I saw everything clearly," I tell him as I swipe the traitorous tears from my cheeks.
"It's not what you think, Alexa, I swear," he tries to explain to me and I shake my head in disbelief because he doesn't even understand why I'm angry, to begin with. For whatever reason, he assumes that I think he cheated when the thought never even crossed my mind. I am angry because he did nothing to stop the girl. He should have pulled her off him the moment she touched him, but he didn't. He also didn't tell her who I was, which made me feel as though he was ashamed of me. Just that alone hurt me more than anything.
"You don't even get it, Nate. I'm not mad because I think you're cheating. I'm mad because you didn't do shit to get that girl off you! You also failed to mention to her that you have a girlfriend and that I am that girlfriend," I bite back angrily.
"I'm sorry. She caught me by surprise. She's the last person I expected to see here."
"Again, I don't care who she is! I just care that you just stood there and did nothing. How would you feel if a guy just walked up to me and hugged me and grabbed me as if I was his, and I didn't do anything to stop him? Would you care at all?"
"Of course, I would. You're my girlfriend and I don't want anyone touching you but me."
"But clearly that doesn't go both ways," I fire back and he sighs.
"Look, I'm really sorry," he says as he runs his hand through his hair and pulls it before dropping his hand to his side. "I fucked up."
"Yeah, you did," I mutter under my breath.
"I wish I could turn back time and change what happened, but I can't. I admit that I reacted like an idiot, but you have to believe me when I say, you are the only one for me. There is no one else. That girl means absolutely nothing to me. She's just an old client that I worked with in the past, but she is in the past where she belongs," he tells me sincerely and I believe every word he says, but a small part of me is still really angry with him.
"Promise me it won't ever happen again."
"I promise."
"If it does, I'm done. I won't put up with random girls touching you like you are theirs."
"It won't happen again," he promises. "Am I forgiven now?"
"Sort of," I respond with a half smile and let him pull me into his arms.
"Am I or am I not forgiven?" he asks as he tickles me, making me laugh.
"You are!" I screech in between laughter.
"Good. Now let's finish the night off right," he declares and extends his hand toward me, palm side up. I place my hand in his and let him drag me off who knows where.
"Where are we going?" I ask him curiously.
"You'll see," he tells me with a wink, refusing to give anything away.
We walk back across the fairgrounds and stop in front of the Ferris wheel. "This thing is huge," I say out loud as I look up at the Ferris wheel.
"That's what she said," Nate quips, making me giggle.
"Get your head out of the gutter. I was referring to the Ferris wheel."
"I know," he chortles.
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