I look through all my dresses before settling on my favorite black skater dress and quickly slip it on over my head, glad that I have a dress that is just right for the occasion. It is one of my favorites because it fits me perfectly in spite of my large voluptuous figure. It flares out from the waist down and covers up my stomach that isn't all that perfect. But with this dress, you would never know a difference.

After giving myself a quick glance in the mirror, I proceed to choose my shoes and pick out my red Chucks. After all, I'm not trying to impress anyone. If that were the case I'd wear my four-inch black pumps, but for this occasion, I'm keeping it simple, because I don't want Nate or really anyone to get the wrong impression.

I look at myself in the mirror for the first time in days and see how my outfit is coming together. It's not perfect, but I am pleased with how I look.

I make my way to my dresser and grab my black Spanx from my undergarments drawer. I slip them on underneath my dress, and immediately feel ten times better. My Spanx help keep my legs from chafing. I don't know who created them, but whoever did is a genius and a thigh saver, because there is no worse feeling than wearing a dress and having your thighs rub together. It's a pain, especially when you have big thighs like me, but Spanx make wearing dresses a hell of a lot easier.

"Are you almost ready?" Mia asks from the other side of the door.

"Just about!" I yell, letting her know I am close to done.

I walk over to my jewelry box on my nightstand and pick out a pair of silver hoops that are covered in crystals. I put them on before making my way to my bathroom to find my large case of makeup. I look through all the eyeshadow I own and decide on a smoky look for my hazel eyes.

I quickly find everything I need to do my makeup and go all out on my look. When I finish, I feel proud of myself. I haven't worn makeup in days and it honestly turned out better than I expected. My hazel eyes are popping and my lip color is light but I love it because it makes my eyes the focus of my face. That's exactly what I want. I like accentuating my eyes because they are my favorite feature.

A loud knock raps on my bedroom door followed by Mia's voice. "Are you done yet?" she asks.

I look at myself one last time in the mirror and do a pirouette, making sure that everything is in check. I know that I am not perfect and that I definitely won't be one of the prettiest girls at the party, but for once I feel content with my appearance.

My raven black hair is curled to its natural perfection, my outfit looks nice enough for a party and my makeup looks great. There isn't much else I can ask for, especially not for a plus sized girl like me.

It usually takes me ten times longer to get ready, because I never feel satisfied with anything I put on but for some reason today is different. I don't know why. It's just another day like any other day, but whatever the reason may be, I am just glad I feel the way I do. This feeling...it's new to me. I have never felt this way about myself.

And I mean never.

I always avoid the mirror unless I absolutely need it, and when I do look in the mirror, I can hardly stand to look at myself. On my worst days, I absolutely hate what I see, because I only see the fat girl people have mocked over the years, and I can't help but hate her and everything that she is. To see anything else besides what I have seen all my life is nearly impossible because all I feel for the girl reflected in the mirror is hate, disgust, and anger.

I hate her so much. People taught me to hate her, to hate me, and I do. Every single time I look in the mirror, I hate who I see, but not today. Today is different.

Today I like what I see in the mirror. For the first time ever I think she actually looks good. She's not perfect. If anything, she is far from it, but I know with some self-love she can learn to be beautiful.

I can be beautiful.

"Hurry up!" Mia yells impatiently, pulling me out of my reverie.

"Coming!" I take a deep breath as I make my way to my bedroom door, and open it to find Mia looking gorgeous as always.

She is dressed to the nines in a pink dress and is wearing her short brown hair straight. Looking at her makes me feel like I'm looking at a beautiful brunette Barbie. "You look stunning," I compliment her as she looks me up and down.

"Speak for yourself. You look freaking gorgeous, Alexa. Nate is going to eat his heart out the moment he sees you."

"You promised you'd drop the whole Nate subject."

"I don't remember promising such a thing," Mia responds with a mischievous grin.

"Don't start," I warn her. "Now let's go before it gets any later."

"Let's!" Mia says enthusiastically.

We walk over to Nate's apartment and make it to his place just as a group of people are about to enter. We walk in right behind them to find an apartment full of people dancing, drinking and playing beer pong. It kind of feels like college all over again.

"This seems fun." Mia comments and for once I hope she is right. Otherwise, this is going to be one long night. "Want to get a drink?"

"Sure."

We make our way through the crowd of dancing bodies and make it to the mini-bar that is surrounded by tons of ice chests that are full of all the alcoholic beverages you can imagine. There is even someone mixing drinks, but I don't recognize the person from behind and focus on the drinks below me instead.

"Looking for anything in particular?" I hear a voice ask as a pair of black combat boots come into my line of sight. I look up to find Nate standing in front of me and nearly gasp when I see him. He looks even more handsome than the first time I laid my eyes on him.

His black hair is tousled and looks like very little effort was put into styling it, but it suits him perfectly. His clothes are casual but he makes them look stylish and as if they were made for him. His black T-shirt is tight but not so tight you can't slip your hands underneath it. Don't ask me how I know. I just do. His shirt also hints at some muscle; which I have no doubt he has a lot of underneath that shirt. And his jeans, they are so tight on his thick legs, they show off his long, fit legs.

He looks like a model taken off a magazine cover, and though I'd never tell him, he is downright sexy. He is also out of my league just as every guy is. I guess you can say that's the story of my life.

"Hey, Nate." I greet him, feeling embarrassed for having practically devoured him with my eyes, but can you blame me when I have a gorgeous man like him standing in front of me.

"I'm glad you came."

"Me too," I respond, not really knowing what else to say.

"So can I help you choose a drink? I could even mix one for you if you want."

"Really?" I ask surprised. "Is bartending a secret skill of yours?"

"I took a few courses in college. It helped me pay my way through school."

"I never would have guessed that you were a bartender."

"I'm sure no one would, but it's always fun surprising people. Especially since my actual profession has nothing to do with bartending."

"Well consider me surprised," I say with a laugh.

"So what will it be? Beer or one of my concoctions."

"I don't know," I respond nervously and bite my lip without thinking.

I see his eyes lower to my lips and curse myself mentally for giving him the wrong idea. He probably thinks I'm flirting with him, but really, it's just a nervous habit of mine. I slowly release my lip and clear my throat.

He lifts his gaze from my lips and realizes that he has gotten caught staring. He rubs the back of his neck with an embarrassed laugh and I smile. It is obvious he is just as nervous as I am.

This is not good.

"Sorry about that. Where were we?"

"My drink," I remind him.

"Oh, yeah," he responds as if a light bulb had lit up in his head. "Do you want me to make you something? I make some pretty mean drinks."

"Sure, why not?"

"Is there anything you want in particular?"

"Not really."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Now are you or are you not an expert?"

"I am."

"Well surprise me then."

"Challenge accepted," Nate says with a boyish grin and makes his way behind the bar to prepare my drink. I watch him in awe as he pours and mixes my drink with such precision. It's obvious that he really knows what he is doing and I am amazed because it is the last thing I would have ever expected from him. "All done," he says to me a few minutes later and extends a blue drink towards me.

"What is it?" I ask curiously.

"Try it." I take the glass cup from his hands and smell the drink. It smells fruity with a hint of liquor. Just the way I like my drinks. I take a sip from it and feel the burn of the liquor as it courses down my throat.

"Now that is strong," I comment and he laughs at my expense.

"It's meant to be. It's called Adios Motherfucker."

"Of course it is," I respond with a laugh and take another sip. It's strong but it's also really, really good.

"Hey, did your friend not come?" Nate asks out of the blue, and it hits me that I had forgotten all about Mia. I look over to my side and find that she is no longer next to me. I look around and don't see her anywhere.

"She was with me, but I guess she went off to do her own thing," I admit, feeling bad that I had forgotten all about her. But I know she would never hold it against me. She is not the kind to hold a grudge. Especially not when it comes to Nate. She wants me to get with him so badly, she's probably happy we're talking.

"I'm sure she'll turn up eventually."

"I hope so," I respond, feeling worried.

"Alexa, come here!" I hear Mia yell out of the blue and feel an immediate sense of relief wash over me when I hear her voice. I look in the direction that her voice came from and find her standing on one end of a beer pong table with some guy I don't even know.

"Want to go see what she wants?" I ask Nate and he nods his head.

"Lead the way."

I make my way around people and keep walking until I finally make it to where Mia is standing. "So, what's up?" I ask her, looking between her and the guy next to her.

"We need two people to play against. Are you and Nate up for the challenge?" she asks me and I shake my head.

"You know I don't play beer pong."

"Come on. It'll be fun," she insists and I look over at Nate to see him smiling.

"I don't know how to play and you know that," I whisper, hoping no one will hear but apparently I wasn't quiet enough. I notice people's eyes on me and am so tempted to give them all a death glare but resist the urge and instead turn my attention back to Mia.

"I'll teach you," Nate volunteers and I sigh, hating my life.

"I'm going to make us lose."

"It doesn't matter. Win or lose, it's all about having fun," he assures me. I look between him and Mia and see that they really want me to do this, so I do what any good person would do. I suck it up and nod my head in agreement.

"Yay!" Mia exclaims excitedly and begins arranging the cups on her end of the table. Nate does the same for our side. "Get ready to lose," Mia says playfully.

"Bring it on," Nate challenges with a grin.

"Since we are undefeated we'll let you go first," Mia tells us as if she is doing us a big favor. Nate and I look at each other and shake our heads. She is getting way too cocky and it is up to us to get her off her high horse.

"Ladies first." Nate hands me the ball and gestures for me to stand in front of the cups.

"Thanks." I put my drink on the corner of the table and get in position with the ball in hand. "Okay, I need a little help here. I don't really know what I'm doing."

"Basically the goal of the game is to try to throw the ball into one of their nine cups. Just make sure your elbow doesn't cross the table."

"Sounds easy but it's not."

"You'll do fine."

"I sure hope so," I mutter and mentally prepare myself for my shot. I look up at Mia and see that she has a big grin on her face. I know that she is hoping I'll miss because she obviously wants to continue being the undefeated team, but for my sake and Nate's I just hope that I can make it in, so I can wipe that grin right off her face. "Here goes nothing."

I aim the ball as best as I can and throw it. I watch my ball slowly make its way towards Mia's end of the table, and stare in shock as it lands in the center cup. "I did it!" I shriek and hug Nate, who hugs me back while laughing at my display of excitement.

"I knew you could," Nate responds with a wink. I meet his gaze and find myself staring into his light blue eyes and only then does it hit me that I am in his arms. I feel my cheeks blush in embarrassment, and quickly pull out of his warm embrace that felt so right yet so wrong.

He is out of my league, I remind myself.

"Sorry about that. I shouldn't have hugged you," I apologize, wishing the ground would open up and swallow me whole.

"There's no need to apologize," he reassures me with a big smile and I silently thank him for not teasing me for doing it. "After all, what kind of guy would I be if I denied a beautiful girl like you a hug?" he adds with a grin.

Smug bastard.

I laugh but at the same time, I can't help but want to slap that grin right off his face. "Of course you'd say that," I mutter under my breath.

"What? It's true," he goes on as if it's no big deal.

"Just stop. I really don't want to hear any more."

"Nate, it's your turn," Mia says cutting in and for once I am actually grateful for her interruption. I turn towards her and pretend that the whole conversation between Nate and I didn't just happen.

"I hope you're ready to lose," Nate says with a cocky grin.

"Just go already," Mia responds impatiently with a huff.

"May I?"

"You may," I say and move aside so he can get in position. "Now please go before Mia leaps over the table and attacks you."

"Seriously," Mia responds while tapping her fingers on the table. It's quite obvious she's already feeling impatient.

"Okay, I'm going." He aims his shot and throws his ball, and just like he had promised, he makes it in.

"You did it!" I exclaim excitedly.

"Do I get a celebratory hug?" Nate asks with a big grin and I know in that instant that there is no way I can turn him down, not with that boyish grin of his.

"Sure! Why not?" He opens his arms and I walk right into his embrace, feeling a bit embarrassed by our odd display of affection, but most people are too drunk to notice, so I stave off the embarrassment I feel and hug him anyway. We are a team after all and scoring apparently calls for celebratory hugs now, and I'm not about to complain. I just hope that all this hugging doesn't give Nate the wrong idea.

"You two are going down," Mia says, interrupting our hug.

I clear my throat and Nate lets me go. "Mia, you're all talk. Show us what you got." I tease her, and she does not like it one bit.

"You're on."

"Bring it," I challenge her.

"I will, just you watch." Mia retorts and aims her ball. When she is ready she finally throws her ball. It hits the rim of a cup, bounces off another and thankfully falls off the side of the cups, making her miss. She curses under her breath and gives me a look that tells me not to say anything, but that does not stop Nate.

"Better luck next time," Nate says with a smug grin.

"Shut it."

"Don't worry. I got this." Mia's partner says, speaking up for the first time. I was starting to think that he wasn't much of a talker.

"I sure hope so. Otherwise, we may lose our title."

"Just trust me," he tells Mia and she simply nods her head and waits for him to take his turn. While he does his thing, I take another sip from my drink that still burns a hot trail down my throat.

"How is it?" Nate asks me and I give him a thumbs up as I take another sip.

"It's really good," I finally tell him after I finish swallowing.

"I'm glad you like it."

"When you see the handsome bartender, tell him he's amazing," I say with a wink, and internally cringe when I hear the word vomit that spewed out of my mouth. It's the alcohol. It has to be. I don't flirt and I especially don't say stupid things like that. I discreetly touch my cheek and can tell I'm already starting to get red in the face.

Nate opens his mouth to say something, but Mia thankfully interrupts him. "Pay attention you two."

"Yes, mother," I respond and stick my tongue out at her. She reciprocates by doing the same and I laugh at our childish antics.

"That's enough." Mia's partner says, scolding us for our childish behavior. He aims the ball and makes it into a cup as if it was the easiest thing ever. I watch in awe and now understand why they are undefeated. It isn't so much Mia, it's her partner who knows how to play the game well.

"That was awesome," I comment and take another sip from my drink as Nate removes the cup from the table.

"It's your turn," Nate informs me with a laugh, obviously amused by the fact that I can't hold my liquor very well.

"It is?" I ask surprised that it's already my turn.

"Yup," he hands me the ball and I get in position.

"You can do this," he encourages me. I shake my head, trying to focus my vision.

"If you say so," I mutter under my breath and take my turn.

I had a feeling it was going to miss the moment I threw it, but by some miracle, I managed to make it into one of the seven remaining cups. "I did it again!" I shriek, not caring what people think of me.

"Good job," Nate compliments me before pulling me in for another celebratory hug.

"It was nothing," I respond, playing it off as if it's no big deal, but we both know perfectly well that it is, especially since I am reaching my happy place quite fast. Soon I won't be able to make any of the balls into the cups.

"And now it's my turn. Wish me luck," he tells me before releasing me.

"Break a leg."

"That works," Nate says with a laugh and takes his shot. He makes it just like a pro. I lift my hand to give him a high five, but he ignores it and pulls me in for a hug instead. "We can't break our routine now. We have to keep up our celebratory hugs throughout the whole game because if we don't we will lose our streak," he tells me so seriously, I just go with it.

I let him hold me to his side, while Mia prepares herself for her shot, and I know that anyone who sees us would think we look like a couple, but I don't forget for one second that we aren't, not even in my almost buzzed state. I am not delusional and know perfectly well that Nate is out of my league.

Sadly, I have to keep reminding myself of that, because nothing can ever exist between Nate and I. Men like him and women like me simply don't date. Why? Because someone like him could never fall for a woman like me. But I accept it because that is simply the way things work, so I do the only thing I can do. I live for the moment and enjoy my time with Nate.

After a long game, we finally both get down to one cup each, and it's my turn, which means the pressure is on. "You can do this," Nate tells me and I can't help but feel nervous because there is a lot riding on this last cup.

"I really hope you're right," I tell him and take a deep breath before getting into place.