Ashley's POV

"You really don't wanna come?" I asked

David rolled his eyes before returning his focus on the stupid game.

"I don't want to go alone"

"Would you relax? It's Liam's hospital inauguration, it's a family thingy. You won't be alone."

"Don't you think the man who helped build that hospital should be there too. Moreover, it's a gala kind of party. I should have a date"

He paused his game "you're trying to guilt me. That's not fair. We've already discussed this, at length."

I didn't want to argue anymore, it would all be waste anyway. I sat quietly while he prepared something for him to eat. Liam's hospital wing is finally completed and he's throwing a fund raiser type of thing to attract donors for his hospital.

David told me weeks ago that he doesn't want to come, he says he has work to do but I don't believe him. I've tried to convince him to come along but he won't agree.

"Hey?" He shook me "you zoned out"

"What?" I snapped. I was upset since I had no date.

"I get it. You're upset but come on, don't ruin your mood. I've got a gift for you"

"Don't need it"

"So, you don't want it?" I shake my head no "then I can give it to Zara?"

"Really? Want to play that game" I glared at him.

"Please go and check it out. It's a peace offering."

I went to the room and saw the box lying there, waiting for me. I smiled at the sweet gesture and opened the box. It was simple yet beautiful red gown. I loved it, it was according to my taste.

"You liked it? I thought of you the moment I saw it" David said as soon as I came out of the room.

"It is beautiful." I kissed him gently.

"Am I forgiven?"

"Stay of execution"

He chuckled "I'll take that"

"I know you're well aware why David isn't coming today. I'm sure you know the reason" I told Liam who was busy rechecking everything for tonight. It is obviously a big thing for him and he doesn't want anything to go wrong.

He shrugged causally and returned on working.

I groaned and snatched Liam's papers "What is wrong with you? Why wouldn't you tell me if you know it?" I was helping him with the final guest list for the event.

He snatched back his papers "I don't know. He's bailing on me too. I tried to convince considering I need him there more than you but he won't listen"

I shook my head "it is strange of him"

"Would you relax? He said it is something with his work then it must be his work. Stop overthinking"

I nodded and gave him a little perk on his cheek "I've always had your back Liam. Don't worry, tonight will be a blast"

I showered and got dressed for the event. I slipped into my new dress and did my make up. The dress was dressy enough so I didn't do much of a makeup. I put on my heels and came out.

David was talking on phone when I entered the living room. He noticed my presence and turned to face me. His eyes went wide and his phone slipped from his hand. I chuckled and made my way to stand in front of me.

He reduced the distance between us and slid his hand to my waist and pulled me closer. I could feel his hot breath on my skin making me go weak on my knees. "You look breathtaking" he whispered onto my skin plastering soft kisses on my skin giving me a whole new mushy feeling.

As much as I didn't want to be late, my body wanted otherwise. I was glued to that place and made no efforts to leave. His touches do magic to my senses and clouds my mind to function. He kept running his hand on my back and I moaned in pleasure.

I was completely distracted when I regain my senses and realised what he was about to do. I pushed me and took a step back.

"Are you insane?" I said

"What happened Ashley?" He asked innocently but amusement in his eyes was clearly visible.

"You gave me a hickey. Knowingly."

He chuckled and took a step closer. His hand reached my hair and he pulled the pin out of my bun. My hair fell, he adjusted my hair to hide his work.

He smirked "see? All good"

"You're impossible"

I turned to notice he wasn't actually dressed in his causal clothing but he was formally dressed.

"Where are you going?" I asked

He stopped in his track and turned "Huh?"

"Going, where?"

"Oh yes! I've a meeting with my new client."

"At this time?"

He just shrugged "I told you it's a work thing"

"Zara will be there with you?"

"Obviously Ashley. She's my secretary, she'll obviously be with me"

I kept quiet and didn't argue any further. I could feel something was off but I didn't want him to think I was suspicious of him because I don't trust him.

"Hey" he called me out.

I looked at him and turned around to leave.

"Ashley?" He called me again.

"I'm fine. The driver is here. Love you" I gave him a quick kiss and left.

I was physically present at the party but my mind was somewhere else, specifically on David. I was distracted and a little worried. I felt it was the calm before a big storm. It was weird unnecessary feeling but I wasn't able to shake it.

"Hey. What's wrong?" Jenny came and asked softly.

"Nothing. Just not feeling the best"

"Did anything happen? Do you not like something here? Is the party-"

I held her hand to calm her "Everything is great! You need to relax"

"Then are you-"

Just as Jenny was about the ask something, the lights went off and she was cut in between. I looked around to see what was going on until my eyes land on David. He was standing there, in the middle of the crowd with a big smile on his face. The spot light was on us. I had no idea what he was upto but I was very conscious all of sudden.

I was actually confused as why would he such thing. He didn't want to come, hell it took me all the convincing to do but he didn't agree yet he showed up like some hero of a movie.

"Sorry for the intrusion but I would like for all of you to bear with me." He winked at me and I smiled. Whatever it was, I was happy he was here.

"What is he doing?" I whispered to Jenny

"Let it play" she whispered back.

"So.." I drew my attention back to what David was saying "when I meet you for the first time I was running away from a relationship, I was terrified of it and ironically you ran away from me." He chuckled and so did others "I didn't even know I was looking for anything until I met you and found everything. I admit, it hasn't been easy and I can't promise it won't get difficult but what I can promise is you got me. I'm going to be there for you as long as I can. You changed the way I looked at life, at love, at commitment. It is hard to meet someone who helps you get in touch with the person you want to me, I guess I hit a jackpot." As his hands slip into his pocket and took the position I knew what was happening and I wanted to stop. Tears were pooling in my eyes as I knew what was going to happen next. He sat down on one knee, took the ring out and ask the question I already knew. "Will you marry me Ashley Walker?"

His eyes filled with love were glued on me. I could feel the suspense everybody was feeling. It was like I was on a hot seat. I knew the answer, I wanted to say Yes so badly but I know something he doesn't and until he doesn't, I can't marry him. I can't build a marriage on secrets. It is unfair to him.

"No.." I whispered with tearful eyes. I wish I could tell him the one thing that was holding me back but I was afraid he might not look at me the same way ever again but then again I just destroyed my happy relationship because the skeletons in my closet keep popping up.

He stood up, hurt evident in his eyes. It wasn't the answer he was expecting. It wasn't the answer I wanted to give but I couldn't say yes knowing that there is still something I haven't told him.

Before he could say anything, I took off. I ran away from the pity eyes and the disappointed looks. A part of me wanted David to call out my name and stop me but he didn't. I understood why he didn't stop me, I would've done the same thing.

I was running away from the biggest mistake of my life, saying no to the man I love. Tears were flowing down my face, I couldn't see, I didn't know what I was doing. In my disgusted state, I ran into the incoming traffic. Someone held my arm and pulled me before I could get hurt.

I opened my eyes to look up, it was David.

"Careful." That is all he said but his eyes were a different story. I hurt him, it was evident. Not only did I reject the proposal I ran away too. In hindsight, I realised what a stupid mistake that was. I wish I could explain but the fear of David hating me overcame all the rational thoughts. My brain couldn't process a sentence that would comfort him or make him feel any better. I wanted to say I was sorry but apologizing would mean nothing without explaining my actions.

"The driver will take you home" he said after what felt like forever. He let go of my arm and walk away. I wanted to call out his name and stop him but I choked. The shame and the guilt I felt was so much that I was afraid to face him. He didn't look back and I let him go.

I came home to an empty sad house. I knew David was coming back, atleast not tonight. I threw my heels and sat down on the dinning table. I took out my phone from my clutch. It was filled with voicemails and messages from my family.

I kept staring at my phone hoping David would call me or text me. He would scream at me or something, I just wanted to hear from him.

I kept my phone aside and lean back. I just broke the heart of the man I love the most.

I closed my eyes and the memory of my biggest regret flashed in front of me.

I looked at the test, I looked at all the test placed infront of me. I couldn't believe it. I was so careful yet something like this happened. It said positive, I was pregnant. The best news of my life scared the hell out of me. Being pregnant means having a child with Aaron.

I put my hand on my belly. I was already unhappy and trapped and now I'm supposed to bring a life into this world. I couldn't find it in myself to be happy because I was so terrified of the upcoming future.

I would never be able to get rid of Aaron, my child would always have Aaron as his father. What kind of life is that? I've been living unhappily for years, now my child has to go through the same thing.

I took the first appointment I could get and went straight to the hospital. I didn't tell Aaron or anyone for that matter. I was scared that saying it out loud would make it all real and so much more difficult to do. I knew I had to do it, even if it was painful.

After my abortion, I went to my parent's house for couple of days. Aaron wasn't happy but I did it anyway. I didn't want to be around him. He reminded me of what I lost. I blamed him to soothe my guilt. I didn't know how to life after this. I couldn't understand what purpose is mine.

I returned home. Aaron was getting agitated and I didn't want to upset him more. I didn't want any exchange of words with him.

Aaron entered our home "Oh, you've returned. Good. I missed you" he placed a soft kiss on my cheek. I used to like that so much, now I flinch a little. Everything about him terrifies me now.

He placed his coat on the chair, loosen his tie and sat down. I placed a glass of water in front of him.

"How was your visit? It was long this time"

"Uh, Yeah, just missed mom a little" I lied

He smiled "you know you can visit your mother anytime. I understand." But he didn't. He never understands anything.

I listened as he told me about his day and how much he missed me while I was gone.

"I was pregnant" blurted out. I think a part of me was feeling guilty for not telling him that was the worst mistake of my life.

"What?" His face light up but mine fell. I knew what was going to happen next. "Wait, what do you mean was?"

I took a deep breath "I got an abortion"

His eyes hardened and the look of despair was all to familiar.

"You did WHAT?" He snapped at me.

I didn't answer, I didn't know what to say. I was hurting myself and there's no explanation except that I didn't want to raise a child with my own husband.

He is not a patient man and my silence didn't help either. He was furious, he took the knife of the kitchen counter and marched towards me. I was pinned to the wall and the cold knife rested on my neck.

I've seen angry but this was different, he was hurting, he was betrayed. I closed my eyes waiting for the fear to set it but instead relief set in. I finally was able to understand my decision. I couldn't have been a mother to a child living like this.

I opened my eyes and pushed him "what? You're going to kill me? THIS IS WHY I DID IT. You don't deserve a family." I didn't know I had the courage or maybe it was the guilt of not being strong enough to fight for my kid. Even though I was hurting, I was sure I wasn't ready to be a mother but knowing something doesn't make it easier.

Aaron dropped the knife. He realised what he was doing and I know he would justify that the same way he justifies all of his behaviour.

"You've any idea what you've done?" He asked me with disappointment in his eyes.

"I'm not ready to be a mother. I couldn't do it" I whispered. It was the truth. I wasn't strong enough to defend myself let alone another human being. My marriage has already turned into a living hell for me, bringing a child into it just seemed unfair.

"Remember, you killed our child"

He walked away but that sentence was going to haunt me for the rest of my life, I knew.

I opened my eyes. That voice still echoing in my head. Years have passed, a lot has changed since that day yet it still seems to get to me.

I haven't able to make peace with it and now I've ruined the most important relationship in my life because I'm scared again. I've again become the person who was terrifying of fighting for what she wanted.

I kept staring at the phone in the hopes that David would call me and this time I would find the courage to open my mouth and tell him the truth.