《Stay With Me Always》Forty Three

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David's POV

I walked in and found my mother nowhere. I had a pretty good idea where she would be. The only place that gives her complete happiness.

Ashley excused herself as she was already very tired while I went to find my mother.

I saw her with her precious horses. I think those animals are the only thing she loves as much as she loves her kids. Whenever she feels down, you'll find her with her horses. Her favorite is Polly. He says it reminds her of grandma, whatever that means.

"Some days I'm really jealous of Polly. I think you love her more than you love me." I said to mother. She turned towards me and chuckled.

"I love her just as much as I do you. Okay, maybe a little more than you but equal to Layla."

"Haha, mom. Funny. Don't even joke about it. If Layla knows you said that she'll make my life so difficult." I sat down outside the barn. I'm not much of farm person. I like it here but I don't particularly participate.

My mom picked up her glass of wine and came to sit down next to me.

"You kids are adults now. This should end now. Seriously!"

I laughed. She laughed too.

We sat quietly for a while until I broke the silence "it was awful."

"Hmm?"

"Meeting him. Hearing me explain. I felt awful."

"Oh sweetie.."

I looked at her "I kept thinking if I could just hear it all, it'll somehow get better but the more I heard him explain, the more guilty I felt. I blamed you for so many years when you too were completely falling apart. I let you be. I did nothing to help you."

He put her hand on mine "David, you were just a kid whose life took a drastic turn overnight. You wouldn't know what to do. You did help me, you were here for me."

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"Mom, that's putting it mildly. I moved away, I was angry at you all the time. Hell, I even ruined Layla's wedding cause I couldn't handle myself. I was an adult but I couldn't let go. I made your life miserable. I'm so sorry."

She smiled "are you kidding me? You didn't do anything close to miserable. You put Layla to sleep when I would sleep through the entire day because I was too broken to get up. You took care of me, of Layla. You were angry, yes, but you never lost sight of what was important. You took care of us when I couldn't and I'm proud of you."

I didn't say anything. I still feel crappy but I understand what my mom was saying. We were all lost at that time. I wish I could take it all back but I can't so I'll have to somehow make peace with the reality.

"I know seeing your dad after all these years wasn't easy and certainly the ambush didn't help. I'm sorry about that. I had no idea he would drop by like that. I was waiting for the right moment."

I frowned "yeah about that, what were you thinking? Why did you let him in your life again?"

"Oh come on, it's been over fifteen years. How long I'm supposed to hold out a grudge?"

"It's not a grudge. He cheated on you."

"Yeah, I'm aware. I'm never going to forget that but I chose to look forward. He also gave me two beautiful children and never tried to take them away. I'm grateful for that."

I shook my head.

"You don't have to forgive him. You can be angry at your father but just know, I've forgiven him. You can't stay mad at the that. It is my choice."

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"Fine. Okay. I'm done talking about this."

My mom just smiled. She knew this conversation would lead to no good.

She got up and went to see Polly. She took care of her and came back.

"Who knew a city girl like you would be such a kick-ass farm girl!" I said

She chuckled. "Oh man! Seriously. Who knew? When dad left this to me, I had no idea what to do. I was so in over my head, it was unbelievable but I figured it out and now this is the only place I know as home. I guess we all somehow find that thing that makes us want to stop and enjoy, call home, feel safe. I'm so thankful to my father for somehow knowing that this is exactly what I wanted."

"Speaking of which.." my mom continued and I looked at her. "Have you told Ashley how you feel?"

"She knows how I feel. What's to tell?"

"So you've told her you love her"

"No" I raised my finger to quiet my mother "and before you say anything, I'm not discussing this with you. You'll make a whole thing out of it."

"Are you saying I can't be discreet?" My mom raised her eyebrows.

"You can't be." I raised my voice a little to make her know I was serious.

"I can tell, you know. I'm your mother. I know you're in love with her but you're scared of something."

"Mom" I warned her

"Dav, tell me already"

"I'm scared that if I tell her she'll freak out of leave." I blurted it out. My mom looked at me. I sighed "she needs time and she's slowly letting things go and I wanna give her that space rather than smothering her. I don't want her to think that she has to say it too, or feel it."

"I'm sure she feels the same way. I see how she looks at you, it tells alot."

"Maybe. I don't know. She hides,you know because she feels the safest with herself. I want her to feel safe with me. Just as safe as she feels with herself. Until then, I'm going to be patient and wait for that. That's what you do when you love someone, you wait for them."

"Well if she got my kid to be patient, she must be real special."

"Every time you say kid, I feel I'm twelve years old again."

"You'll always be twelve for me. My little boy!"

I got up to leave before she starts talking about what adorable baby I was. I gave her a kiss on her cheek.

"Go easy on the wine, mom." I said as I walked away

"It's my first" she yelled raising her wine glass. "Hey, honey!" She called out "when you find someone who makes things better for you, you never let her go." That was the last thing I thought about before going to bed.

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