Ashley's POV

I came home with David following me. I was exhausted and tired and completely numb to tell him otherwise. I didn't had the energy to say anything to him. I just felt weightless and numb.

My struggle, my pain, my past was my own. I can't change it or outrun it but I can decide if I want someone to be a part of it or not. David can't understand why looking at one person from my past makes my blood go cold. He can't and he shouldn't have to. He's not the one who has dark secrets, it's me and I'm responsible for them.

He was pacing in front of me, pissed, waiting for me to say something but I wasn't going to. I had nothing to say. I just wanted this night to be over so I can move on from this nightmare. I was too exhausted to go through a confrontation from him.

I got up to leave when he finally broke. "What was that? You were fine one minute and the next you push me and run away. You don't think you should atleast explain or atleast reassure it wasn't because of me cause I stood there, confused, thinking what the hell did I do, and you took off."

I sighed. He was right. I was actually having fun because of him and it isn't fair that my unstable life makes him feel bad about himself.

"It wasn't your fault. I saw someone.. i just.. that.. look, I'm.. it wasn't about you"

"That's it? You can't even tell me who you saw? Was it someone from your past?" I nodded "so what? You've a screwed up past, big deal. Who doesn't? When do you suppose this will stop? How long are you gonna let your past control your present because your past is supposed to be a bad chapter of your life, not an entire freaking story book. I'm so sick of you trying to push away good things, not enjoying the good moments cause you're so hung up. It is not fair"

I looked at him and saw something that made me so angry. He was disappointed in me. I wasn't angry at him, but at myself. I felt like I let him down somehow and I wasn't sure why something like that would bother me but it did.

"You don't know anything about me. You think that pretending to be happy and cheery and sunshiny would somehow erase the pain of your past then you're mistaken. You've some kind of God complex, because you think you can save me but let me make this perfectly clear if I haven't already, I don't need your saving. I don't need you to push me into things. I don't need you to teach me how to have fun and I definitely don't need you to tell me how I handle my life. For the hundredth time, it is none of your business. You can't fix something that doesn't wanna be fixed."

He stood there, listening and looking at me with his beautifully intense eyes. It was as if he was looking for the sincerity in my words. It was an honest rant, I meant everything I said.

"That's not it. You're scared that you might not be broken and I could be the person who discovers that. You're terrified to open up your heart but it's not your heart that is throwing caution in the wind, it is your head. Your heart will heal itself, Ashley, if you let it. Your head keeps reminding you to proceed with caution so you're not hurt again. But trust me, the pain and the struggle and the darkness will go away once let your heart heal you."

As he said those words so tenderly, I felt my heart leap. I wanted to throw myself at him and embrace the warmth of his kind words. I didn't know if any of it were true or could be true but the sincerity with which he spoke, I almost wanted to believe him.

He stood for a while waiting that I would say something or do something but I didn't. I didn't want to disappoint him again. I know I'm not the person he thinks I'm. I'm not strong enough to let go as he said. So rather than disappointing him again, I just didn't say anything and he left. He gave me one last look and then he left.