1k

Romantic

Angst

Your night had been going swimmingly. Stark had thrown yet another party, and you were in attendance with your girlfriend, Natasha. Things had been a bit rocky with her recently, but you loved her, and she loved you. That's all that mattered, right?

Wrong.

Natasha refused to take your word for it. She was the jealous type, and you knew why and tried to understand it. She had never had someone to call her own, to love. She'd grown up deprived of love and touch, so when you started dating she never wanted to let you go. She wouldn't let you go.

Stark parties always ended the same. Having an argument because someone looked at you with heart eyes - which you didn't see because you weren't looking, and then Nat making up for it with sex. You were exhausted from it, but you fell for it every time.

Tonight was no different.

You had spent some time talking to Carol Danvers as it had been a while since she last visited. But apparently, from the other side of the room where Natasha was talking to Wanda, she had been watching Carol 'flirt'. You didn't see it like that, she was just being friendly, she hadn't even touched you and you were chatting about some tough missions that she had. So half the time you didn't even have a smile on your face and neither did she, you really didn't know what Natasha had seen but nothing had gone on.

When Carol left and Nat harshly grabbed your arm to drag you to your shared bedroom you knew what was coming. As soon as the door closed she started yelling about how you should have made her back off. Back off from what, you didn't know.

"I don't understand why you're jealous after every party, Nat!", you shouted back, not wanting to take any more shit. Time and time again you had let her berate you as you stood and took it, before she knew she crossed a line and started acting lovingly again to lure her into your bed so that she could "show you how much you mean to me".

But no. This time you had seriously had enough. You loved Natasha with your whole heart, but you were tired of trying to prove your loyalty to her when you had given her five years of your time without even thinking about being with another woman. She hadn't always been this severe, it was only over the last six months that red flags started coming into play in full swing.

"I'm not jealous, fuck off", she spat, and you felt yourself shrinking. Natasha could be a very intimidating woman when she wanted to be. "I'm yours, you know I'm yours", you spoke in a whisper as tears filled your waterline.

Her face immediately softened, like it always did, and she moved forward to take your hand and gently rub her thumb over your knuckles. "Come on baby, let's-", she tried to start, but you snapped back to your senses and ripped your hand away. "Get off of me".

The once soft look in your girlfriend's eyes turned dark. She looked scary. But you were determined to not shrink back into yourself again.

"What are you doing?", she snapped and you took a step backwards. "I'm exhausted", you sighed and ran your hand through your hair.

"Exhausted?".

You tilted your head not knowing how she could be so clueless about what was going on, "Yes, Natasha! I am exhausted! I feel like I'm constantly walking on eggshells around you, it's so tiring".

"You wanna know what's tiring? Watching people eye fuck you all of the time!", she yelled at full volume and poked your shoulder harshly as if any of this had been your fault. "They don't eye fuck me? And even if they did, how is that my fault?!".

"I see the looks you give people and how you lead them on, tell me, do you get a kick out of it?".

Your breath hitched at her words as silent, hot tears began to stream down your face. How dare she? For five years you have given her nothing but the best that you could give, and she apparently thought so lowly of you. At your reaction, you could see the dark look that Nat had faltered for a second before it came back.

"You're crying? You're fucking crying? Why are you acting like the victim here?!", she seethed and threw her hands up in the air. "Because for years Natasha, I have been here loving you! And you still don't trust me! I have done nothing to warrant this, I have never looked at another woman the way that I look at you. Because I love you! Or- loved you...".

Natasha froze. Loved? Whatever walls she had put up to fight you came crumbling down and she felt like dropping to her knees and sobbing when she replayed what she had said to you in her head. She didn't know why she had been acting this way for so long, and she wished that she hadn't.

When Nat said nothing and just stared at you with a look of horror, you knew that it was time to go. There was nothing that she could say to fix this, and deep down she knew that too. "I-I can't do this anymore. I think I have to go. I can't stay". You reluctantly turned to leave and as soon as your hand hit the door Natasha broke and her own tears began streaming down her face.

"No, you just said you're mine. You can't go", you knew that her words were toxic, but the way her voice cracked made yet another sob escape your lips. "I'm sorry", you whispered.

"You can't leave me. Please don't leave me", she cried out, knowing that without you she wouldn't survive. Without you, she wouldn't be able to breathe.

But you were gone, and Natasha knew that there was nothing she could do to fix this. She had pushed away the best person she had in her life, and she would have to live with that. Forever.