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It was only six months ago that Clint Barton had aided in defecting Natasha into SHIELD instead of carrying out the execution order that he had been given. During that time she had been trying to do things to make her feel like she was a normal American citizen. She was aware that growing up in a Russian organisation that turns young girls into assassins wasn't the most conventional upbringing, so now that she was in the States she wanted to feel like she had some normalcy.

If she was tired after work she would take her car to a fast-food drive-thru instead of cooking, even though she wasn't a fan of the greasy food, she went to bars with work friends even though she didn't like their company, she attended dinner parties, baby showers, the whole works.

She didn't like doing any of those things, her excitement of normalcy soon turned into pure dread of wearing yet another mask.

A mask that presented her to others as your average person with an average social battery and average interests.

Wearing this mask was exhausting, she was used to pretending to be someone that she wasn't, it was how she had survived most of her life. But this one was a tough one to master as it was nothing like the other ones she had to create in the past. She had never had to pretend to want to socialise for five-six days a week, she had never had to make constant polite small talk and ask people about their days in almost every interaction. It was very new, very alien.

The struggle of wearing it meant that to others she seemed withdrawn, even sometimes disinterested. Natasha wasn't stupid, she knew that people seemed to be more reserved around her because of how she acted, she just didn't know how to change this.

It was very off-putting. Her chance at a new life was now a life sentence. She didn't fit in, that was clear to her, and she didn't think that she ever would. Which was something that she was coming to terms with.

A few months into her new life came the self-loathing feeling, she thought that she was acting ungrateful for this new opportunity. She didn't know that her feelings were valid, anyone would feel it when being thrown into a completely new situation from all angles, but it wasn't like she had anyone to reassure her of this as she never opened up to anyone about it in the first place.

She gave herself six months. Six months to feel like she fit into the normalcy.

But she still didn't.

Months turned into a year. A year turned into years. She was miserable. This was a level of frustration and isolation that she had never felt before.

Every day had become the same. Wearing the same mask as she headed to work with the people who didn't understand her, who could never understand her. The closest friend she had was Clint, but she just felt guilty when around him.

Guilty that he had stuck his neck out for her to get here to where she was now, and how did she repay him? By keeping him and everyone else at arm's length, not allowing herself to relish in what she could have if she wanted it.

Even through her personal and social struggles, she had always loved her job. She was good at it which gave her a sense of achievement, something she felt she lacked in all other areas. The brief serotonin rushes that she would get would almost make staying worth it.

Almost.

There came a point where Natasha eventually hated her job. When she was in the Red Room and dreamt of life outside, she had always imagined work only being a small part of it. Most of her hopes and dreams lay in the idea of having a home that she could share with someone, travelling the world with the person that she loved, having a rewarding hobby, doing charity work, anything. But instead, all of her happiness had resided in her day job.

When she had come to this realisation she started hating it, how it had taken over her life, how it felt as though she did the same things over and over again. But she couldn't leave, she felt like she had to stay. These people had given her freedom, she couldn't leave them.

Natasha was close to giving up hope, close to accepting that she would live life as a zombie for the rest of her days until she died.

But one day something changed, in a moment of inspiration, she began a last-ditch effort to experience some normalcy that she might enjoy. She decided to try and find a cafe where she could be a regular at. That seemed like a normal person thing. Plus, the idea of someone greeting her with recognition like baristas did in the movies seemed appealing.

She tried a few places over a couple of weeks, but most of their coffee was awful and bitter, which she strongly associated with her last-ditch effort mission. She felt awful and bitter about it. She felt stupid. So, she gave up and carried on with her dull, dull routine of work, sleep, eat, repeat.

Every morning before work, Natasha would take a walk, the same route every day like clockwork. It helped clear her mind before dealing with the day and was the one thing about her routine that she had found worked for her. But today, for the first time in years, something was different.

As she walked, she was broken out of her thoughts by a woman in slacks and a blazer rushing past her muttering all kinds of profanities before swiftly entering a cafe a few doors down.

She let out a small smile at what she had heard, and after a moment of thought decided to go in as well. Even though she was an observant person in general, Nat had never taken any notice of this particular cafe, and she saw it as a sign to try one last time. Even after all this time she still had an annoying little flame of hope burning inside of her.

She ended up being behind the person in the street in the queue, but Natasha once again didn't take much notice other than acknowledging that they were there as she examined the menu board above the barista station. She didn't know who she was kidding, she would have a black coffee as always.

Once again she was snapped out of her thoughts by a very enthusiastic "Hey Y/n!", from the barista.

Natasha shamelessly eavesdropped on your conversation with the coffee maker. The barista had pointed out that you were later than normal, which triggered you to go off on a tangent about everything that had gone wrong this morning to make you late for work. You explained that your alarm clock didn't go off, you dropped your work phone in the toilet, your friend's cat that you were looking after decided to throw up all over the place, and you had stubbed your toe twice before leaving your apartment.

Nat frowned slightly at hearing about your misfortune this morning, but after your ramble, you still sounded chipper as you explained that you were making yourself later because you needed their "Godly coffee before dealing with the idiots at work".

This confused Natasha. Your morning had been terrible. Truly terrible. And yet you were still sounding... happy? Natasha knew that if she had been in your situation, she would be having a glaring competition with everything that she looked at.

You seemed to be flustered due to rushing around, but you didn't seem angry with the world for cursing you with such bad luck. Your mindset intrigued her, and then she was met with you looking right at her as you turned to leave, and your face intrigued her even more.

You'd taken her breath away and Natasha had no clue what words were anymore when you muttered a small "Hi" to her before slipping past, presumably to sprint to work.

After you had left she stayed stuck on the spot before offering an awkward wave that you wouldn't have seen because you had already made your exit. She cursed herself for acting like a bumbling idiot in the middle of the cafe and turned to place her order, the barista wearing a knowing smirk.

As Natasha sipped her coffee on the way to work, she thought back to what you had said about it, it was certainly God-like. She hummed in appreciation as the coffee gave her the kick that she needed to start her work day, but you plagued her mind whilst she filled out report after report.

She tried to shake you from her thoughts and instead thought about the cafe. Because that was a totally different train of thought.

After much consideration, she decided to go to the cafe again tomorrow, the coffee was nice, there was no other reason behind it. She also decided to go earlier than she had done so that she could sit and drink her coffee. It was definitely not because she had deduced that you must go earlier than you had that day as you were "running late".

The rest of her day was calmer than it usually felt, she didn't know why though. Natasha had successfully blocked out that embarrassing interaction she had with you out of her mind, but the little flame of hope you had somehow made burn brighter was allowing her to feel more relaxed.

---

The next morning Natasha had ordered her black coffee from the same barista as before and sat herself down. She had time to, considering that she had gone out of her way to get to the cafe early before work.

It was a nice environment, the furniture all had a nice oak finish which made the darker tones of the wall pop instead of looking glum. There were also some nice abstract art pieces that caught Natasha's attention.

Until you walked in.

You looked more put-together today as you didn't have a hurricane of chaos following you around that morning. You walked in calmly as you made your way over to the counter to order your coffee. Natasha noticed how the barista's face lit up when you complimented his shirt, and couldn't help a soft smile on her face, you seemed nice.

Natasha spent the next few minutes looking out of the window until you caught her attention again. You were shuffling some things around in your bag, and the jingling of your keys rang out into the air. This caused the ex-assassin to whip her head around to the new noise, but immediately became less defensive when she saw that it was just you.

When you had finished organising your bag, you turned and met Natasha's gaze, she looked a bit embarrassed that you had caught her looking but you gave an awkward wave and a smile before making your way out and to work.

Natasha cursed herself yet again, this time for not waving. She had been too caught up in finding the humour in your actions, you had done the same wave that she had tried to give you yesterday.

She told herself that she'd come in again tomorrow. For the coffee.

When tomorrow rolled around Natasha had placed herself at the same table, and you made the same calm entrance that you had made the previous day. But this time you looked over at the redhead before you made a move to the counter. You offered a small awkward wave yet again.

For some reason, you felt drawn in by her. You didn't know why, she was just... beautiful, but also looked to have a kind soul, which was what drew you in more. But there also seemed to be a sadness in her eyes, it was well hidden, but certainly there.

Her eyes lit up slightly and she gave you a wave back. Your coffee order was now placed, but you felt restless. Twenty seconds of confidence was needed. Just twenty seconds. So, you asked the barista for a pen and a napkin, which he generously gave you, and you jotted your number down along with your name.

You thanked him for the coffee and turned to make your exit. Natasha had been having a staring contest with her coffee as she didn't want to scare you if she was staring unknowingly.

Before you made your exit, you slowly made your way over to Natasha's table and placed the napkin down next to her coffee. She jumped slightly, not expecting you to be anywhere near her, but the initial fear turned into a spark of joy when she spotted what was on the napkin.

You couldn't stay long, you had work, so you smiled and left, leaving Natasha to grab onto the napkin and stare at it as though it contained all of the secrets of the universe.

She really didn't know what it was about you that had piqued her attention so much. You just seemed gentle, not brash unlike the other people in her life.

She didn't call you immediately, she wanted to give it some time so that she didn't look desperate.

It took her a few days to call you, but one evening after pacing around her apartment, she did. When you answered you were understandably confused as it showed up as an unknown caller, but when Natasha explained that she was the woman from the coffee shop, you immediately sounded happy, and Natasha's heart swelled. It had been a long time since she had heard someone be that happy to hear from her.

You promptly asked her how her day was and how work had gone, and she practically melted.

You had made Natasha Romanoff turn into a blabbering mess as she tried to explain how her day had been. You chuckled kindly a few times when she tripped up on her words, which only caused her to blush more.

Unknowingly, the two of you talked for hours into the night before deciding that it was late and that you would catch up again tomorrow.

Natasha deflated slightly when the call ended, she had wanted to ask you a question but couldn't seem to find that twenty seconds of confidence. But still, you had placed her in a great mood, so she was happy with what had happened.

She went for coffee again the next day, taking the same seat by the window, excitedly awaiting your arrival. This didn't show on the outside though, she looked relatively stoic as she sat straight-backed, sipping her coffee and playing with the handle when it was on the table.

When you entered you both gave each other small smiles of acknowledgement before you went to get your drink too. Natasha had expected you to leave again like you always did, so she was confused when she saw your hand hesitate on the door handle as you looked at the ground. You seemed to be in a bit of mental turmoil.

She became even more confused when your path changed completely and you walked over to her table, placing yourself in the chair opposite her.

"What are you doing?".

You smiled as you placed your coffee down, "I'm being late for work".

Natasha couldn't help the elation bubble up inside of her when she heard your voice. She had only heard it being directed at her on the phone before, except for that initial "Hi", and she had immediately decided that hearing the real deal was so much better.

You both stayed for half an hour before the two of you got up and started walking so that you wouldn't be fired. The brief walk that you got to have together was nice, but Natasha began panicking slightly when you said that you would be taking the next corner, her journey carried on slightly further down the road.

Twenty seconds.

She very clumsily asked you out on a date, she wasn't even sure if the words that she had spoken were in the right order. After analysing the situation afterwards she is certain that she said "Date will you go with me?". But that didn't matter, because you said yes anyway.

She told you that she would text you the details and then you parted ways for work. But she wasn't thinking about work, she was thinking about what kind of date she would take you on. Natasha hadn't been on a proper date before, having only done "first dates" with targets, though she didn't want to count those.

Nat didn't particularly like busy social areas like bars and restaurants due to the fact that she over-analysed everything in sight to keep herself safe, and that was exhausting to do with so many people around. She wouldn't be able to focus on the date at all.

On her lunch break, she asked if you liked walking. When you responded that you loved it she thanked her lucky stars, so she asked if she could have your address so that she could collect you and half a walk and lunch around a large park nearby.

Initially, she wanted to take you on her favourite mountain hiking trails, but she didn't want to come off as an axe-murderer. She would save the mountains for the second date.

---

As you sat in Natasha's car on the way to the park you could feel the amount of nervous energy that she was radiating, so you decided to make conversation. You asked her about the idea behind a walk on the first date, as usually people are boring and just go for restaurants.

She laughed at your choice of words, and carefully explained how she didn't like busy places, there was no point in lying but she was worried about how you'd react. Maybe you would think that she was weak, she didn't want that.

So, she was shocked when you hummed in agreement, explaining how nervous busy places made you and that's usually why your first dates crash and burn, and why you rarely go out with friends as bars were their favourite places in the world.

Natasha smiled at the fact that so far you were on the same wavelength. And that only continued when you arrived at the park and started walking, when she asked you about yourself you explained how usually you keep yourself to yourself, preferring a small circle of people over a large one, and how much of a homebody you are, but liked the company of others too so it was a vicious circle.

This was the first time that Natasha had heard that term. Homebody.

You explained what it meant and how some people just aren't the extroverted units of energy that others are, and it was like Natasha could see clearly for the first time. She had thought that for the entirety of her time in the States, which was a few years now, that there was something wrong with her for not clicking with those around her. It just turned out that she was more introverted than them, and that was okay.

You got her.

No one had ever gotten her before.

The date was a huge success, and you both wanted to do another one. You were the one who suggested the second date which made her smile and start explaining the hike that she wanted to take you on but didn't want you thinking that she was dragging you up there to kill you.

You laughed but understood how sketchy that may have sounded for a first date, especially because there had been limited interactions beforehand.

When she dropped you off at home you planted a small kiss on her cheek and offered her a dopey smile before turning to enter your building.

Natasha stood smiling at her shoes before she snapped back into reality and drove herself home, you plaguing her mind again.

---

The second date went well. So did the third, the fourth, and the fifth, and so on and so forth.

Months had passed and you two were incredibly comfortable around each other. You understood each other on a level that no one else did, that no one else could.

Most of the time the two of you hung out at Natasha's place, your idea of date night involved sitting on the sofa and eating a home-cooked meal that you worked on together whilst watching a movie.

Natasha didn't have to wear that mask when she was with you. She could be herself through and through as she sat next to you, making sure that there was some contact. Usually, she made sure that your legs were touching as you ate, then dragged you into her hold when you had finished.

It was a lovely relationship that Nat cherished every moment of. It was tender, and soft, and safe. You were her home, and she was yours.

But just like everyone else, Natasha had bad days, and unfortunately, her bad day had landed on date night. Her favourite day of the week.