Warnings: More of the sad with a sprinkle of hope

Y/n's POV

Beep.......Beep.......Beep.

Beep.......Beep.......Beep.

Beep.......Beep.......Beep.

That sound kept replaying in my head, over and over and over and over again. The constant whirring of the machines which surrounded Nat as she laid there; defenceless and vulnerable, surrendering her life to countless doctors and nurses.

I ran a hand over my face and attempted to dry my eyes, which by now had begun to run uncontrollably.

"Fucking hell." I muttered as I sat down on a log, near a large stream on the outskirts of the city woods.

I knew I had to go back and face Steve and probably Fury and the rest of the team but....I just- I couldn't do it. Not just yet.

So instead I sat there, rain drizzling down around me, the wet moss beneath my legs from my woodland seat and the constant sound of the large stream running down the hill.

After a few minutes, my breathing slowed to a more controllable rate and I stood up, choosing to go for a walk to burn up my anger rather than stewing in it, waiting for an explosion.

The woods offered little cover from the rain and soon I was thoroughly drenched. I didn't notice though as all my thoughts consisted of Nat and the dread of returning to Steve. I knew Nat could wake up at any time though and that for her, I would push away my pride and my hurt to make sure she was okay. I let my thoughts run rampant as I strolled aimlessly for a few hours, zoning in and out of reality, before deciding to return.

Breathing deeply, I focused a little more and quickly zapped from the woods to the hospital waiting room where Steve stood motionless.

***

Y/n's POV - At the hospital

I zapped into the waiting room and saw Steve standing in the middle of the room, motionless and with a blank expression on his face.

I waited a minute to see if he would notice me but he didn't. So slowly I made my way in front of him, placed a gentle hand on his shoulder and whispered, "Steve?"

His eyes zoned back in and he stepped back from me startled. "Y/n?" He asked.

"Mhmm." I said sheepishly, ready for the rebuking I predicted was to come. Instead he wrapped me in his arms and held me tightly.

"I'm so glad you are okay. Jeez you scared me for a sec." He pulled away and I saw now that his eyes were puffy like mine.

"Y-yeah. Yeah." I cleared my throat. "Just, had a lot to think about, sorry for leaving you." I told him.

"No, no thats fine. I understand." He looked away momentarily. "I've called Fury, he is giving us a few more days off work and we can either stay here or book a hotel, which would you rather?"

"Stay. I cant leave her Steve, I won't leave her."

"That's what I thought you would say. Shortly after you left some of the team swung by with stuff for us. Spare clothes, toothbrushes, toothpaste, shower gel and such-like." He gestured at the bags behind him. "Wanda and Vision cooked some of their Paprikash and Pietro found us some movie in case we wanna watch anything. Tony has given us Happy's number if we want anything else and Peter is looking after Morgan because she misses you." He paused, "They wanted to stay but I thought it best if they give us a day or two before visiting, was that the right call?"

"Yeah, I think so. I'll give Wanda a call and thank her and the team for all the stuff." I told him.

"Okay, you do that and I'll set our room up." Steve picked up the bags and turned down the corridor to an empty room that would be ours for the time being.

***

{Small time skip}

After my brief phone call with Wanda I went into the room that Steve had prepared for us both and was pleasantly surprised by the traditional layout on one side and more modern on the other.

"This okay?" He asked.

"It's brilliant, thank you so much. For everything."

Steve smiled sadly and set about unpacking his clothes and handing me mine. We worked in silence until most of our items were away neatly. Ignoring my fresh pj's or the movies Pietro brought us, I got into the single bed on the left side of the room as Steve got into his on the right.

"Goodnight, Steve." I whispered as he flicked off the light.

"Goodnight, Y/n." He replied softly.

Turning to face the wall, I let the silent tears fall down my face as I breathed in the scent of Nat on the jacket of hers that Wanda had thoughtfully packed for me.

I don't know if Steve heard but if he did, he said nothing.

------

Hey guys, it's been a minute since I updated but here you go x

Here is your reminder to;

Go on a walk or some form of exercise today, it is actually good for you.

Go and get a glass of water, we all know you need to drink more.

Please try and eat at least one meal today. It can be tricky, trust me I know, but just try.

Finally all of you need to go to bed, get some sleep and actually rest your body!

I love you all, have a great day x