Steve's POV

I rolled over and looked at the clock on the opposite wall. It was 4am, I sighed and pulled the blanket off of me and place it over Y/n who was still asleep. I ran a hand through my tousled hair and tied up my laces before walking out of the waiting room to find some food but more importantly some answers.

I stopped at the café Y/n went to yesterday but it didn't open until 8am. I carried on walking around the endless corridors of the hospital to clear my head until I bumped into a young nurse.

"So sorry madam." I said helping her to her feet. "Are you alright?"

"Uhm yes, thank you. Sorry I wasn't looking where I was going." She apologised.

"Neither was I." I smiled at her, "Split the blame?"

"Of course. Now I must ask but what are you doing up so early, all patients have to remain in their beds unless accompanied by a member of staff." She looked at me with sad eyes.

"Oh I am not a patient miss. I just stayed the night with a friend of mine. Our colleague was admitted yesterday and went into emergency surgery and we- well I couldn't sleep, so I wondered if I could see her or at least know what is going on?" I told her.

"I'll see what I can do. What is the patients name?" She asked pulling out a device much like a phone.

"Romanoff. Natasha Romanoff." I told her hurriedly.

She looked at her device and frowned. "I have been asked not to let anyone in who doesn't have level 8 or higher S.H.I.E.L.D clearance."

I got out my wallet and showed her my badge with a level 9 clearance ID. She looked at me apologetically before continuing. "Would you like to see her?"

I nodded my head in agreement and followed her down some more corridors before stopping outside a door, guarded by some agents I recognised. 

"Here we are. She won't be awake just yet, also if you want, you can have you and your friends room moved closer to here." The nurse told me.

"That would be great, thank you. Also do you know where I could get some coffee?" I asked her.

"I'll have some sent along for you, just one?" She asked.

"Can you send two along and my friend from waiting room 11A on floor 7 when she wakes up please?" The nurse said she would and left me standing in front of the door.

I shook myself and opened the door slowly after the agents stepped aside. 

Walking in it looked just like any other hospital room, white walls, blue floors made of some easily cleanable material. White curtains surrounding the bed and some spare chairs along the wall. I stepped closer and pulled the curtains away from Nat's bed, revealing the mass of beeping machinery surrounding her and the worryingly low heartbeat on the monitor.

Nat's red hair sprawled out on the pillow beneath her head. The blood was gone from her face and in its place was a big gash along her left cheek. A cut on her eyebrow and an array of bruises ranging from yellow to purple in colour. Her left arm had been placed in a cast and she wore another cast around her midsection for her broken ribs. Nat's left leg was raised up and the lower portion was also in a cast with just her toes poking out. Even in an induced coma she looked defeated. The lines of worry etched into her skin.

I ran a hand over my face and dragged a chair over and sat next to her, holding her right hand that lay by her side.

"I know that - uhm, you probably can't hear me." I chuckled at myself humourlessly, "But I- I uhm. I just wanted to say that you saved my life. You saved my life and I am really thank fun for that. I'm so sorry, I really am for putting your life in danger like that. It must have been a set up we were only expecting so many Hydra agents and then there were masses it just-." I broke off and looked down at her injuries.

"What I am trying to say is that I am sorry. I need you, the team needs you but most importantly Y/n needs you. She is trying so hard to stay strong but I know inside she is breaking. You mean the world to her, even if she doesn't express it in the best way. If you die-" My voice began to shake. "If you die, I don't know what we will do. You have been there since the beginning, you're my best friend on the team and you help us when we don't know what we are doing. Nat we are lost without you, I am lost without you." I sighed and wiped a tear from my cheek.

"Look at me getting emotional." I cleared my throat. "Just come back to us okay?"

----

Sorry I haven't updated this in a while, I have been a little preoccupied with school work. But I am back so enjoy. Even tho it is still sad, anyway here is your reminder to;

Make sure you go on a walk or some form of exercise today.

Go and get a glass of water, we all know you have not drunk enough today.

Go and spend time with family and friends, if you can.

Make sure you eat at least one meal today, you need to.

Ensure that you tell yourself you are a badass bitch today, that you will take no ones Bs and that you are the king/queen/ Ruler of the realms and aint no one gunna ruin your positive vibes today.

Keep trying to stay clean. Just wanted to say that I made it to 15 days yesterday, which I am very proud of and sorta as a reminder that shit gets better. Shit happens but it does get better.

I love you all 3000 xxx