Y/n's POV

I chewed my lip nervously as I sat in the waiting room of the hospital. I had been here since 6am this morning and it was now half past 11. My stomach growled at the fact I had refused to leave to buy food incase the doctors needed to talk to me. I sighed and looked at my phone to see a bunch of missed calls and texts from the others. I switched my phone off and stared blankly at the clock on the other wall, worrying about the worst possible outcome.

"Miss Y/l/n?" A nurse called out.

"y-yeah thats, thats me." I said waving a hand at him.

"This way please miss." He said turning around. I hurried after him through the complex of the hospital, my questions running through my mind but being unable to ask any of them.

"Miss Romanoff is in surgery right now. She had the bullet from her hip removed successfully but there may be slight scarring." He warned.

"Thats fine as long she is okay. Why is she in surgery if the bullet is removed?" I asked nervously.

"Miss, she had very severe injuries and we don't know how she got them. Right now they are setting her ribs and arm." He said looking up from his clipboard.

"Right. Uhmm how long until I can see her?" I asked.

"Well you're not family so I can't let you in." He said apologetically.

"She- she doesn't have family. Not, really. I mean I am her girlfriend so can I see her as soon as possible?" I bargained.

He considered me for a moment and must have seen the desperation in my eyes as he sighed softly. "Yeah you can see her when she wakes up. Would you like to see Mr.Rogers?" He offered me. I nodded my head and he lead me to an empty waiting room where Steve was pacing angrily.

"Steve." I called out as the nurse left us. He didn't reply so I placed a gentle hand on his shoulder causing him to break from his thoughts.

"I'm so sorry y/n. I didn't know and I couldn't do anything, there were just so many of them." His voice broke slightly, though he tried to hide it. His eyes were red and his knuckles bruised.

"It's okay." I pulled him into a hug and told him that he wasn't to blame. "Risks of the job I guess." I took a deep breath and let go. "I'm going to get coffee and a sandwich, what can I get you?"

"Uhm i don't know just something." He sat down on a chair, head in his hands.

"Okay, I'll be just a minute." I looked sadly at his defeated form and walked away to find a café or shop.

***

"Can I have; 2 large coffees to go, 2 ham and cheese toasties, these two chocolate bars and a packet of gum please." I told the cashier placing the items on the counter.

"Of course, that will be £16.47 please." I handed the money over and placed the chocolate and gum in my pockets so I could carry the food and drinks.

"Thank you." I said taking them off her. "Can I also get some napkins?"

"Is that all?" She asked passing them to me.

"I think so, thanks again." I said gratefully.

I took the food back to where Steve was sat and passed him his drink and toastie. "I got chocolate because that always helps the sad and gum as we don't have our toothbrushes." I said putting the bag down next to him.

He nodded numbly and held the burning drink in his hands, unaware of the heat. I took it out of his hand and put it on the table in front of him, so he wouldn't burn himself.

"Fury and the team are coming later." He said looking at me. I just nodded and sipped my drink, feeling the scalding liquid in my throat.

We stayed like that, sipping our drinks and staring blankly around the room, our food cold and forgotten until Fury walked in, his black trench coat swishing behind him.

"Agents." He said nodding at us both. We acknowledge his arrival but did no more. He sighed as he looked at us. "I've spoken to the surgeon. She has had her bones reset and the wounds are not infected. They have put her in an induced coma until the bones grow back. That can take 6 to 8 weeks at best." He said carefully. "We need you back at the compound."

"What?" I muttered, just loud enough to hear. He looked at me confused.

"What did you just say?" I said turning to look at him. "Because to me, it sounded like you just tried to order me to leave the hospital where my girlfriend if potentially DYING." I yelled standing up to face him. Steve caught my wrist and looked at me warningly. I huffed and pulled away. "I am not leaving this place without her alive in my arms." I told Fury, taking a step towards him.

"Agent, I know you are hurting right now but S.H.I.E.L.D needs you." He told me.

"No, NAT NEEDS ME! You can FUCK OFF." I punched the wall next to me, my heart pumping faster.

"Y/l/n, your behaviour will not be tolerated, have care how you speak." The director warned.

"I don't give two shits what you think of me Fury. You let her go on that mission. She could DIE!" I ran my hands over my head and laughed humourlessly. "You don't get it do you? You have never had to blindly trust someone like that!" I pointed a finger at him. "I trusted you! I TRUSTED YOU, and she comes back like THIS." My voice broke and tears threatened to fall. "I FUCKING TRUSTED YOU." I screamed and Steve held me in his arms as my sobs grow louder.

"Shhh y/n, we know. We know." Steve said softly as he held me against his chest.

"I cant lose her!" I sobbed, holding onto him tightly. "I cant." I shook my head as my tears stained his top. "I cant loose her." I whispered as I knelt onto the ground.

Fury stepped forward but I sent a warning blast his way with my powers. "STAY AWAY FROM ME!" I screamed at him, fists clenched and eyes glowing.

"Y/n." Steve knelt in front of me and held my face in his hands. "Nat is still alive, there is still hope. Hold onto that."

"It's cruel to give hope where there isn't any." I muttered bitterly.

"Agent-" Fury tried to talk.

"FUCK OFF!" I yelled angrily again.

Steve motioned with his head that it was probably best if Fury listened. He stepped outside whilst Steve hugged me tightly.

"I won't let go." He promised me.

"I cant loose her Steve. I- I can't." My eyes were red and my voice hurt from screaming.

"Neither can I." He admitted.

We stayed hugging on the floor of the hospital room, both our tears falling freely as we clung to each other for a sense of comfort. My heart rate slowed and my sobs echoed in the space surround us. Steve was silent but his warm tears dripped down continuously. After some time we moved to the sofa and pulled it out into a double bed. Too exhausted to care what anyone might think we got in and fell asleep. Slightly comforted my the others presence. Not totally alone in our pain.

-----

Woah, this is very sad. Sorry for that guys.

Reminder to;

Go for a walk or some form of exercise today.

Go and get a glass of water, we all know you haven't drunk enough today. (Myself included)

Spend time with family or friends, if you can.

Please eat something today, even if it is something little. Thank you.

I am also so proud of anyone out there who is clean. It doesn't matter if it is one second, one day or 6 months. You are doing so brilliantly. I know it is tough, but please keep trying. Every single day you wake up, you are working so hard x

I love you 3000