WARNING: TW- Cuts and self harm mentioned. A warning will be put where it starts and where it ends.

Y/n's POV

I rolled over to feel the space next to me cold and empty. "Nat?" I murmured, eyes still closed from sleep. Upon hearing no reply I groaned and sat up, opening my eyes slowly so they could adjust to the dim light in my room. I looked around and saw the room was empty. She must have left. I told myself. I sighed and pushed myself off of the bed before changing and wandering downstairs to the kitchen.

I walked through the doors and saw Wanda and Peter sat at the table talking. "Oh hey." Peter said smiling as he saw me.

"Hey kid, how you doing?" I asked as I grabbed a slice of bread and put it in the toaster.

"I'm good, got a science project due in today. Kinda nervous." He admitted.

"You'll do great, I promise. Do you need extra time to work on it? I can drive you so you have more time if you want." I offered him.

"Wow really? Yeah that would be great!" He said pleased.

"Okay good, if you need help just ask. We will leave in about 45 minutes okay?" I told him.

"Sounds good." He said rushing out of the room to work on his project.

I smiled and turned back to my bread, which was now toast and applied some butter to it before spreading peanut butter on top and cutting up a banana and scattering a few blueberries on the side of my plate. I grabbed a glass of water and sat next to Wanda.

"Morning Wands." I said through a mouthful of toast.

"Morning, you seem happy." She said.

"Why do you say that?" I asked her.

"Well first of all, you started a conversation in the morning without a prompt, secondly you offered to give Peter a lift which you swore you would never do, third you are eating breakfast voluntarily and fourth you have water and not coffee." Wanda recited effortlessly.

"Wow, you really pay attention huh." I smiled. "I feel happier today so I am trying to be nice to everyone." I told her. "Do you know where Nat is? She wasn't there when I woke up this morning."

"Oh, uh her and Steve went on a mission late last night. Did she not tell you?" Wanda asked me.

"Uhmm no she failed to mention that." I said taking a bigger bite of my toast so I wouldn't have to say anything.

"Well, she should be home in a few days." Wanda tried to comfort me.

"Days?!" I muttered through my food.

"It's okay, the mission is not dangerous and she might even be home sooner than that." Wanda told me.

"How come you know so much about the mission?" I asked her curiously.

"Uhm there was a team meeting last week about it." Wanda told me confused. "I thought you knew."

"No. No I didn't." I sighed before taking a deep breath. "Whatever, it is fine. She will be fine, Steve will be fine and I will be fine. It's just a few days." I reassured myself. "Anyway I am going to go check if Peter needs any help but can we train later?" I asked the Sokovian.

"Of course, when were you thinking?" She asked as I finished my toast.

"Not sure maybe after lunch?" I asked.

"Sounds good." She agreed.

"See you then." I said putting my plate in the dishwasher and leaving to find Peter.

***

"Peter? You in here?" I asked as I poked my head around his bedroom door frame.

"Oh hey y/n. Can I present my project to you, as practice?" He asked nervously.

"Sure." I said sitting down on his bed and looked at him expectantly. He took a deep breath and reset his experiment for me.

"So, today I will be explaining why we could use potatoes as power generators. For a simple presentation I will be creating an electric current through these potatoes, connected by copper wires which lead to a light bulb. The potatoes will generate electricity, lighting up the bulb." Peter explained confidently as he showed me all the different objects laid out on the table in front of him. I smiled at him and nodded my head to show I understood. He carried on and connected some wires to the potatoes.

"We are going to use a simple circuit, just so that the charge has to travel a short distance and less energy will be wasted." He moved away from his experiment and looked at me, pretending there was a bigger audience. "Now you may be wondering, Peter, what on earth has this got to do with anything? Why should I care? Why am I even here? Well in answer to those questions, this could be the way forward in carbon neutral energy. We will be creating energy, rather like solar panels but instead through photosynthesis. We could develop these on a bigger scale, eventually running cars and planes off of this as fuel instead of all the Co2 they burn daily." Peter stood back and connected the last wire to the third potato. The bulb shone a bright white and I clapped enthusiastically. Peter grinned as his experiment worked. "This could be the future. Farmers have saved us in the past and they can do it again. They are the backbone of our nation and perhaps our saviours." Peter said grandly before taking a bow and then disconnecting the wires so the potatoes had enough energy left for when he got to school.

"Peter that was amazing!" I said pulling him into a tight hug. He was surprised but hugged me back, "Thanks!" He grinned happily.

"C'mon we better go, you got something to carry that in?" I asked him.

"Yep." He grabbed a big plastic container and placed the experiment inside, with bubble wrap to stop it from jolting around. "Let's go." He said as he slung his school bag on his back and walked outside with me following.

***

{A short while later}

I pulled up in my black Chevrolet Corvette and Peter got out, carrying his experiment under his arm. "Good luck, Peter. Not that you will need it." I waved him goodbye as he headed inside, MJ and Ned having found him.

Brief mention of cuts

I drove away, back to the compound and it was now 9:48 am. I couldn't see Wanda and the others had gone out for 'A lads week away' as Sam, Bucky, Clint and Vision had called it. It was just me and Wanda at the minute. Tony and Bruce had gone to see Dr.Cho for a few days and would be back soon, Fury could drop in at any moment though. I went into my room and took a quick shower before changing into some training gear and another long sleeved hoodie, my cuts hadn't quite healed yet and I didn't want to take any chances. I took my headphones and a water bottle down to the gym, before plugging my music into my phone and wrapping my hands so I could start boxing.

Brief mention of cuts stopped

I felt more relaxed today but not exactly happy, my punches held the usual amount of anger and frustration in them. I lost my self in the music and the repetitive sequence of, punch, punch, block. Kick, kick, block, punch, punch, kick. Block, kick, kick, kick, block, punch, punch. I repeated this over and over, I could feel the sweat dripping down the side of my face but I didn't stop. I kept going and going. My shoulders ached and my biceps begged me to stop but I didn't listen. I carried on until I felt a hand on my shoulder. I whirled around and kicked them in the stomach making them fall harshly to the floor. They went to stand but my foot had already slammed into their shoulder, holding them down. The figure gasped, eyes wide in shock.

"Wanda." I said softly before helping her up. "I'm so sorry, are you alright?" I asked her.

She nodded and tried to catch her breath as I had winded her with my kick. I walked her over to the benches and sat her down before turning my music off and offering her my water. She took a sip of it gratefully and breathed in and out a few more times before looking at me.

"I didn't know you had reactions like that." She laughed weakly.

"uhm yeah sorry, its a part of my hyper vigilance." I explained.

"Hyper vigilance? What is that?" She asked as she set my water bottle down.

"Oh it just means that I am hyper aware of my environment and everyone in it. It is different for most people but for me, I notice everyone and what they are doing, who leaves and who enters and the general mood of the room so I notice when the atmosphere changes and can usually predict when it will change. Just a subconscious thing really." I told her.

"That sounds exhausting." She said looking at me strangely.

"Can be but I have learnt to live with it." I said shrugging it off. Now that I wasn't punching i could feel my knuckles throbbing and so I unwrapped my hands, revealing the torn skin and the bleeding. "Shit." I said as I looked at both my hands.

"Oh y/n." Wanda said sadly as she took my hands in hers. "Come with me, I'll clean you up."

"No that's fine, I can do it." I said not wanting to bother her.

"It wasn't a request." She told me, her eyes flickering red.

"O-okay." I said nervously as she took my wrist, making me flinch a little, and led me out.

She took me to Bruce's lab and sat me down on the bed that was there. She left and then returned a few minutes late with a first aid kit and a glass of water. "Drink." She said nodding towards the glass. She still had a hint of her Sokovian accent when she spoke so I thought it best to do as she told me to. I drank the water and set the glass down. "Hand." She said. I gave her one of my hands and she rubbed a wet cloth over it, cleaning the dried blood before dabbing it dry and wrapping a cloth gauze over my knuckles with a bandage on top of that. She took my other hand and repeated the process, dropping the used cloths into the bin at her feet. "There." She said as both my hands were cleaned, sanitised and bandaged.

"Thank you." I said smiling softly at her.

Mention of cuts again.

"No problem, now talk to me." She said sitting next to me.

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"You haven't worn short sleeve t-shirts in about 5 weeks. Why?" She said straight to the point.

"I was cold." I told her.

"And you are an awful liar, so spill or I will force my way into your mind."

"Don't do that!" I exclaimed. "I- I just." I sighed. "It gets difficult okay, I tried. I really I really tried but I can't stop." I said as tears formed in my eyes.

"Hey, hey shh." She said hugging me tightly. "Shhh it's okay." She rubbed my back comfortingly and held me as I cried into her shoulder. "Can you show me?" She asked me. I nodded and took off my hoodie. My arms were covered in angry red lines, some deep and others just a scratch. A few scars littered about but mainly just cuts. "I can't wear t-shirts until they heal completely. The cuts, they fade into a duller colour and some disappear but when I am cold you can see the lines etched into my skin and I hate it, but I cant stop." I told her as she ran a finger delicately up and down my arm.

"Does Nat know?" She asked gently.

"She doesn't know I have relapsed. But I wouldn't be surprised if she guesses that I have because I messed this up, just like everything else I do!" I yelled.

"That's not true y/n" Wanda scolded me. "You just need some support right now okay. I want to get you wearing t-shirts again okay. Every day you will show me your arms so I can check there is no infection, if you relapse then we try again. It will take time, maybe a few weeks, maybe a few months. I don't know and I don't care as long as you try." Wanda told me sincerely.

"Thanks Wands. I do try, I really do." I told her.

"I know but you don't have to do this alone anymore." She said as she squeezed my hand gently.

"Thank you." I said smiling at her.

"Anytime, now let's go and get lunch. I am thinking a nice bowl of soup to warm you up." She said as she held my hand and took me to the kitchen. I smiled, glad I had such a good friend in Wanda and sat down as she made me soup and some toast.

----

Hoping to upload some more in the next 2 or 3 days, sorry I have been a little irregular with my posting.

Reminder to:

Go on a walk or some form of exercise.

Spend time with family or friends if you can.

Go get a glass of water, we all know you need to drink more.

Eat something today, please, even if it is something small.

If you are reading this when you should be asleep, I appreciate it but get some rest, it will be here in the morning x