WARNING: Mentions of, , and . If these things trigger you then I wouldn't read this chapter. At the bottom I will give a brief overview of what happened without the details so the next few chapters make sense. Making out/ slight hints of sex but little detail.

Y/N's POV

I sat down on my bed and began to prepare for the day ahead. There were no missions, I had already trained and eaten so there wasn't much else for me to do. I was still thinking about what to do with my spare time when Nat knocked on my door and walked in slowly.

"Hey." I smiled at her.

"Hey, can I sit?" She asked, pointing at my bed. I nodded and shuffled over so she had more than enough room to sit down. "How are you feeling?"

"Uh yeah, good. I am good." I said.

"For some reason I don't believe you." She said softly. "You'd didn't delete the gym footage this morning." She told me.

"I forgot. Steve walked in and it just slipped my mind. Wait... how did you know I delete the footage?" I asked.

"I know that you get up super early and train for hours and then delete the footage. I could just never find it because you deleted the back up on the system. Why do you do that?" She looked at me closely.

"I just don't think that Tony needs to watch me train for 3 hours in the morning, thats' all." I said defensively.

"All right, chill. Well we both have the day off so I was wondering if you wanted to watch a movie?" She asked changing the subject for me.

"Yeah, sure that would be great." I said kissing her cheek as I got up off of my bed.

"We can go to the main room and then get snacks?" She asked.

"Sure, thing baby." I said grabbing her hand and leading her downstairs.

***

Y/N's POV

I was walking down the corridor when I saw Wanda. I turned to Nat, "Do you reckon you could give me 10 minutes? I said I would go with Wanda to see Pietro in med bay."

"Yeah that's fine, I'll get the snacks ready." She kissed me on the lips before turning away.

"Hey Wands?" I called out, she looked back at me and waited for me to catch up. "Are you going to med bay?

"Yeah why?" She asked.

"Just wondered if you wanted some company?" I asked.

"Yeah sure." She agreed after a moments pause. We walked side by side as we made our way to where Pietro was staying. We walked into the plain white room and saw Pietro propped up by a stack of pillows behind him, as he was eating his lunch.

"Hey speedy." I said as I sat next to him.

"Y/n/n! Came to see me at last." He joked.

"Yeah well, had to make sure you weren't causing Bruce or Dr.Cho any trouble." I grinned him as Wanda sat next to me. We sat and talked for the next 15 minutes when Dr.Cho walked in and announced that Pietro needed his meds. "Alright, well I shall see you soon Maximoff." I waved goodbye as me and Wanda walked out.

"Have you spoken to Nat?" She asked, not looking at me.

"Not yet, no." I admitted. She stopped and I walked into her.

"You need to." She said seriously.

"I will, I just don't know how to, we are watching a movie now anyway so I'll see how that goes." I said smiling a little.

"Nat is my friend too and whatever is hurting you is also hurting her. Just be careful." She smiled at me sadly before walking away.

***

I walked into the main room to see that Nat had already started the movie and had her own bowl of popcorn resting on her lap. I moved the bowl and sat next to her. She pulled me into her and wrapped her arms around my waist, putting her chin on my shoulder as I curled into her. She put a huge blanket on top of us as she was cold.

We stayed like that, wrapped in each others arms and occasionally kissing the other. Eating popcorn and drinking our cokes for the 2 hour movie.

"Baby?" She murmured.

"Yeah hun?" I asked looking up at her.

She smirked and got up from the sofa, making me jolt off of her lap where I was resting. "Heyyy." I complained. "I was comfy."

"Are you joining me?"She asked.

"Where are you going?" I asked confused.

"My room." She smirked gain and I got up quickly. She took my hand and dragged me up stairs. She shut the door behind us and started kissing me immediately. I grinned and pushed her away a little. She groaned. I laughed and pulled her in again, still laughing at her slight desperation.

She took her jacket off and flung it onto the floor before walking up to me. I gulped, a little nervous and afraid of what she might do. She kept walking towards me and I stepped back each time she did, until the back of my knees his her bed. She smirked and pushed me down onto her bed as she crawled above me. I leaned up and kissed her, my hands on her waist. She grinned as and flipped us over, pulling me onto her waist. I wasted no time and straddled her, without breaking the kiss. She swiped my bottom lip asking for access which I granted. She pulled me closer and tore the jacket I was wearing from my shoulders. It fell on to the floor and I was immediately aware of the cold air on my exposed skin. I looked at Nat who pulled away quickly, staring at me.

I didn't meet her gaze and got off her lap, putting my jacket back on with my back turned to her. She came up behind me and grabbed my wrist gently, turning me around. She put one hand on the side of my face and looked up at me. "Baby?" She asked softly. I looked her in the eyes and saw the worry and fear behind them. It broke down my resolve. I looked away and sat back down on her bed.

"I'm sorry." I whispered as I felt my sobs taking over. She sat down next to me and grabbed me in a tight hug.

"Why? Why do this to yourself gorgeous?" She whispered into my ear as I rocked back and forth in her arms.

"I just...I have been having these, uhm. These n-nightmares about H-h-ydra and w-what they did. A-about B-ucky and me being t-tor-tured." I stuttered between sobs. "I feel like I deserve it, because I am not good enough!" I finally confessed to the red held who held me close.

"No, no honey. Look at me. You are good enough, you are more than good enough and I love you. I don't care about your past, I would like you to tell me more someday but not right now okay?" She wiped the tears from my face and held me tighter, pressing a kiss against my forehead. We stayed hugging for a few minutes until she took my arm and ran a forefinger along the cuts, gently. "How long?" She asked quietly.

"Well I started about 3 years ago, but it got worse recently." I hung my head in shame.

"Okay, well I am going to get some bandages and ice-cream and then we are going to cuddle and sleep. Alright?" She asked. I nodded and sobbed again. "Aw bubs, c'mere." She hugged me again and rubbed my back in small soothing circles, calming me down as my breathing fell in time with hers.

"Sorry." I said weakly as I noticed the stain of my tears on her top.

"Don't be sorry. I'll be just a minute." She got up and headed downstairs, blowing me a goofy kiss as she left. I smiled a little and laughed at her attempt to cheer me up.

***

Nat returned a few minutes later with a first aid kit and Ice cream. She walked over and took a cotton bud out, poured a little alcohol onto it and rolled up my sleeve. "This might hurt a bit." She warned. I nodded and she ran the cotton over my cuts. They stang and brought fresh tears to my eyes, although I didn't let them fall. She then took a cloth and dapped my arm, drying it off before wrapping it in bandages. "Promise me you won't do that again." She said as she took my hands in hers.

"I cant promise you that. But I can promise to try." I said truthfully.

She sighed. "Okay, but tell me if you do that again. Do you have any scars?" She asked.

"I'll tell you." I promised. "I have a few scars, their on my thigh though and my stomach. I don't usually cut my arms because it is harder to keep them hidden all year round. I'm so sorry." I apologised again.

"Hey baby no. Look at me. Do not apologise this is not your fault, I should have noticed something was going on. Do the others know?" She asked.

"No. Wanda said she was going to look through my head if I didn't tell you. I think I want her to look through anyway, she can show you stuff that I cant complain." I looked at Nat to gauge her reaction.

"Okay baby. Let's talk more in the morning. For now we are watching a movie, and taking all of tomorrow off. Stark can deal with it." Nat said hugging me into her as we snuggled down to watch a movie.

----

Okay so this is not well written but in this chapter y/n got up super early to train and Steve walked in. Nat knows we delete the gym footage and confronted us, we got defensive and gave no real answer. We joined Wanda in medbay to see Pietro who is healing well and should be fine soon. We watched a movie with Nat. Wanda warned us that she would look through our mind if we didn't talk to Nat. Nat teased us and we went into her roman began to make out, as things escalated she took off y/n's jacket and saw the cuts on her arms. She cleaned the cuts and bandaged them up before grabbing ice cream and watching another movie with us, cuddling us and apologising for not noticing.

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It is the weekend tomorrow so I will have more time to give you better updates, I just wanted to give you guys something today. Bare with me I promise my writing can be better than this haha.

Daily reminder to;

Go for a walk or some form of exercise.

Spend time with family or friends if you can.

Go eat a meal and have a glass of water. We all know you need to.

Take time to look after you.

I love you all 3000. Have a good day/night x