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Requested by

A little bit of smut, but mostlyyyyy fluff

~*~*~*~

Nat and I don't have a relationship whatsoever.

I was chilling with Peter, when I felt a hand wrap around my wrist. I turn around to see Nat standing there with a smirk on her face.

I knew what she wanted. And I can't lie, I want it too. She nodded towards the door and walked off. I sigh and look over at Peter.

"What was that about?" He asked innocently "she just wants to ask me something.." I reply quietly. He nodded and I walked off. I walked over to her room, only to see her standing there, her clothes already discarded.

She swayed her hips towards me and practically ripped my clothes off before I could even close the door. She locked the door behind me, and pulled me onto the bed.

She got on top of me and started kissing along my chest. "Can we make it quick- I have a meeting in 10-" she said between each kiss.

"Mhm-" was all I could answer. I can't admit that I have a sexual attraction to her, but I feel like there's more.

She positioned herself between my legs, parting hers over mine, taking the time to position herself. She started grinding against me, going at a rapid pace.

"You feel so good-" she moaned. Sex with Natasha is good. It's always good. "Fuck-" I moaned, grinding myself onto her.

She started moving quicker, and grabbed onto my thighs tightly. After a couple more seconds, her pace slowed. "I'm close-" she breathed.

"I'm gonna cum-" I moaned, feeling my legs start to shake, and that familiar knot in my stomach. As if on cue, the both of us slowed down and came.

I lie there breathlessly for a while, taking a second to regain myself. There's always a sense of 'guilt' after each time. I don't know what it is.

It's just the way she gently caresses her fingers onto my skin, the way her lips would tingle on my neck. The feeing is just so addicting. I love the attention she gives me, even if it means nothing to her.

She got up and headed to her bathroom, not bothering to close the door behind her. I like Nat, and I feel like I agreed to this to get closer with her.

I thought maybe she would talk to me more, but nothings changed. It only makes the feeling worse, and I only want her more.

I watch as she walks out of her bathroom as if it didn't happen, and pick up her phone. "See you later-" she smiles, leaving me there as usual.

I know we agreed to sex, so I don't know why I expected more. I quickly got changed, and went for a shower in my own room.

~*~*~*~*

It's been hours now. Her presence seems to haunt my mind. She's all I can think about, and I just feel like it's all becoming too much for me.

I've always liked Natasha. I always thought that she liked me back, but lately I'm beginning to drown in my own thoughts, and I need air.

I don't know what came across me, but now I'm at her door. I bet I'll regret this. I hastily knock on her door, waiting for a reply.

"Come in-" she shouts at the other end. I enter, to see her reading in her bed. She glances up at me with slight confusion, but puts her book down.

She gives me these eyes, eyes that are asking for sex. I don't want that though. Not right now anyway..

"Can I talk to you- I just need to tell you something." I say standing next to where she was sat. She nodded her head.

I sigh and sit down next to her. "I don't think I can do this anymore." I say causing her to furrow her brows.

"It's not you. It's not the..sex..it's just-" I pause for a moment to think about my choice of words. "I like you." I blurted out.

"I really do. I like you as in I have genuine feelings for you. I tried to push them away and tell myself 'god y/n you're being stupid', but they never seem to vanish. I don't expect you to answer or feel anything back. Hell, you don't even have to say anything to me or talk to me again. But It's too much for me right now." I went on.

She didn't say anything, just started back at me as if she was deep in her thoughts. I sighed and stood up again. "I'm sorry- I'm being stupid. I'll go now." I left with that, I didn't want to hear her rejection.

1 week later

.

I've been in deep thought. I've never loved anyone before. I don't think I can physically find it in me to do such thing. I'm not loveable.

Y/n is different though. I get this strange feeling around her, and i don't know what it is. Ever since she confessed to me, it's like that feelings grown.

I haven't seen nor spoken to her since, and shes been on a risky mission for the past two days.

Clint suddenly came rushing into my room with panic. "What is it?" I question, standing up and rushing over to my door.

"Mission- they're back, y/n just blacked out-" my heart instantly drops at his words. I quickly follow him into the emergency room at the compound, but was asked to wait outside.

"What happened-" I questioned, trying to look through the window. "I'm not quite sure. They said she was shot, and then she fell. Must've hit her head." Clint answers.

I continue to stare at the window hopefully. "Will she be alright?" I ask quietly. He sighs and rolls his shoulders.

~*~*~*~

About an hour has passed now, and I'm still waiting impatiently outside the room y/n was in. Clint stayed with me whole time, even though I told him he didn't need to.

"She's not doing so well, but you can see her now." Bruce says walking out the door. Clint and I look at each other for a second, and he quickly nods at me.

As I'm walking into the room my heart just breaks. "Y/n-" I say softly, sitting in the chair next to the bed.

She opens her eyes at me and desperately grabs onto my hand. "Please don't leave me-" she says quietly.

"I'm not going to leave you." I say rubbing soft circles onto her hand. A single tear runs down her cheek, but I quickly wipe it away with my thumb.

"Hey- don't cry. Everything's going to be ok." I smile softly at her. "It's ok." I don't know if things are going to be ok, and for some reason it's causing my heart to ache.

The thought of losing her hurts so bad. "I love you Nat." She says as another tear escapes her eye.

"I-" as I was about to answer, the monitor started beeping rapidly. I hold onto her hand tighter, and look around for Bruce.

Some nurses rush in and start doing god knows what. "M'am, you're going to have to leave-" a man says softly.

I shake my head, but hesitantly let go of her hand. "I-is she ok-" I croak out. They don't answer, but continue to try and help her out.

"Nat-" Bruce says holding onto my waist. He pulls me out of the room. I really can't lose another person in my life.

As Clint was about to ask me if I'm ok, I interrupt him. "I need air." I say holding back my tears and walking away from both Clint and Bruce.

~*~*~

I went for a run. A long run. They always help me clear my mind. I could run for miles and miles without stopping. It's my form of therapy.

It helps me think. And this time, I was really thinking. I feel stupid. Of course I had feeling for y/n, I was just too fucking blind to see them.

I feel like it's all my fault, and I just want to tell her how much I love her. Because I do. I do love her.

After a long hot shower, I make my way back over to the medical area. "You ok?" Clint questioned, with sympathy clear on his face.

I sat down next to him and sighed. "Hows y/n?" I question, avoiding his. "Better. She's coded a couple of times, but she's asleep now.

I slowly nodded. "I want to see her." I say quietly. He gives me a soft smile. "I know. We all do."

Bruce walks out again, closing the door behind him. "Is y/n ok?" I ask sitting up in my seat. "Natasha, she's going to be fine. She's just waking up now, but I think she needs space." He informs.

"Fine isn't going to cut it." I snap. "Why didn't you take her to a real hospital?" I ask with slight anger in my voice.

"Because it was urgent. If we took her to the hospital, she wouldn't have made it." He replies. "Can I see her?" I ask taking a deep breath.

"Please be gentle." He says opening the door. I nod and walk in. Seeing her just made my heart shatter again.

I sit in the chair next to her, and she looks over at me and instantly smiles. "Nat?" She asks, her voice still groggy.

"How are you malyshka (baby)?" I ask, holding onto her hand. "Better I think-" she replies. "Good. You tell Bruce if anything hurts okay?" I say sitting forward and tucking some of her hair behind her ears.

She just nods at me. "Nat?" She asks again. "Yea?"

"Will you please sleep with me?" She asks softly. I sigh and hold onto her hand tighter. "I don't know if Bruce will let me." I say sadly.

"Pleaseee, I don't care about what Bruce says." She says grabbing onto my hand. She scoots over so there's a little space and gives me puppy eyes.

"Please." Her voice is near a whisper. "Only because I love you. And if I hurt you, you need to tell me, ok?" I say without thinking.

She suddenly has this wide smile on her face. "You love me?" She asks happily, as I gently lie down next to her.

"I love you more than anything." I smile, still holding onto her hand. She shuffled closer to me and leans her head against my shoulder.

"I was so stupid, I didn't even realise my feelings towards you y/n. I didn't realise how much you meant to me. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. I'm just happy you're here with me." She says happily. "Me too dorogoya (dear)." I say kissing he top her head.

A/N:

Helloooo, sorry for the slow ass updates lol. This is a lot softer than what I usually write but it was fun to write. It's also kinda long. Also, what the fuck is the thing marvel posted about Scarlett Johansson? I'm so confused. I hope it means that we get to see Nat again or I'll cry. Anyways I'm hungover and I'm a mess rn, stay safe. Xx

-mim