"So she wasn't mad or anything?" Madison asks as we lay down on my bed.

"Nope." I shake my head. "She just looked so hurt Mads. I feel terrible." I groan and roll over on my stomach, burying my face in my pillow.

"Break-ups are always hard Spence, but you did a good thing. You didn't really like that girl, as hot as she was..." Madison pauses. I lift my head and look at her with a raised brow. She's looking off like she's imagining Stacy's face right now.

So gay.

"Madison!" I snap her back to reality.

She quickly shakes her head and continues. "You did what was right and I'm proud of you." She places a hand on my back as I drop my head back into my pillow.

I just wanna scream right now.

I came to Los Angeles this summer to get away from all the drama.

But it followed me here.

Maybe I should put out a restraining order.

"Spencer you have company!" I hear my mom yell up the stairs. I hop up from my bed quickly, thinking it may be Ashley. I know it can't be Stacy, she just left and if I were her... I probably wouldn't want to see my face right now.

I can't believe I used the 'it's not you it's me' line on her.

What the hell was I thinking?

I run down the stairs into the living, skidding to a stop when I see who this said guest is.

"Hi." She smiles, giving me a small wave.

What. the. fuck!

"Carmen." I breathe out, in complete shock. How in the hell did she even find me? I never gave her my address. Maybe she's the one I should have taken the restraining order out on. "What are you...how did you...what the fuck?" I whisper out the last part as she makes her way over to me.

"Nice to see you too." She smirks once she reaches me. Of course she smirks. I roll my eyes and step back when she reaches a hand out to touch me.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I ask through gritted teeth. "How did you even find me?"

"You're listed." She shrugs and steps closer to me again. "I needed to see you Spence. You haven't been returning my calls." She moves closer and I step back.

"For a reason." I nod.

"Spencer I miss you. I don't see how you can just push me aside like I never mattered to you." Classic Carmen. Always making herself out to be the victim. Like when I found out she cheated she told me the girl seduced her. I asked her if the girl put a gun to her head and forced her to bring her to Kaci's party the next night too. She had nothing to say after that.

"I'm not doing this with you." I shake my head. I refuse to let this day get any worse. "You need to leave my house."

"Why would I do that when your mom just invited me to stay and eat?" She smirks.

Ugh! Her and that damn smirk!

"Ma!" I shout.

"Yes dear?" She answers from the kitchen.

"Carmen can't stay she has to go." I shout back and I made sure to shout it loud enough for Madison to hear.

She should be down here in three...two...

"What the hell is that skank face doing here?" Madison says from the top of the stairs.

"Hello, Madison." Carmen sighs, stepping back from me.

"Don't hello me hoe." Madison snaps, coming down the stairs. I stifle a laugh. See why I love Madison so much?

"Madison I don't want trouble." I bet you don't. "I just came here to talk to Spencer."

"Who doesn't want to talk to you." I chime in.

"Well that settles that. You can leave now." Madison shoos her towards the door.

"Spencer." Carmen turns to me, ignoring Madison. "Please, just give me a minute of your time. That's all I'm asking." I sigh and turn to Madison. She shakes her head no but I tell her with my eyes that I need to do this. If this is the only way to get rid of her, then I'll do it.

"Fine." I say and brush past her to the front door. When I open it Ashley and Lexy are on the other side, Ashley's around wrapped around Lexy's shoulder and they're both smiling.

"We made it after all." Lexy smile and kisses my cheek. "Who's that?" She asks, looking past me to Carmen.

"Carmen." I reply, looking at Ashley. Her eyes go wide briefly before she turns away from me. Are you fucking kidding me right now Ashley!

I guess they didn't break up.

"Your ex?" Lexy whispers.

"Yeah." I nod and side step them. "Everyone's in the back. Carmen are you coming?" I shout back into the house as I walk down the drive way. When she reaches me I say in a snappy tone, "You've got two minutes."

She nods and wipes her hands on her shorts nervously. She clears her throat before beginning. "I can't tell you how sorry I am for what happened-"

"So you've said." I cut her off with an unimpressed look on my face.

"I know." She nods once. "But I'm here to make it right. I want...no I need you in my life Spence. Nothing's the same without you. I miss you and I know that I don't deserve your forgiveness but I'm asking...begging you for it." She moves closer to me, taking my hand in hers. I go to pull away but stop myself...I'm not sure why. She places my hand over her heart. "My heart only beats for you Spencer. I'm sorry that it took me so long to figure that out. I'm sorry that I hurt you. I want you to know that I love you and I'll always love you. I just want a second chance to prove that to you."

I sigh and drop my head. Carmen always have had a way with words. It's one of the reasons I fell for her.

But clearly this isn't going to happen.

I'm in love with Ashley.

I just broke up with Stacy; a perfect girl. Why would I break up with her to get back with someone who cheated on me?

"I understand what you're saying Carmen." I tell her, taking my hand back. "I know you're sorry." I nod. "But it's too late. You fucked up... I get that everyone makes mistakes and I can forgive you for that. But I can't forget. I will always picture you with her when I see you and so we would never work. I'm sorry." I lean forward and kiss her on the cheek. "Thank you for apologizing." I nod and give her a small smile. "But you need to leave." I tell her and turn to walk back into the house, leaving her to get back to New York, however she got here.

Spencer!" She yells my name but I don't stop... I can't stop.

"Alright Spencer!" Madison holds her hand up for me to high five it once I enter the house.

"Were you just being a creeper and listening to my whole conversation?" I ask her with a quirked brow.

"Of course." She shrugs, lifting my arm to make me high five her. I shake my head and smile at my friend as I walk past her. "I had to make sure she didn't try anything." She says following behind me.

"Madison you know I love-." I tell her.

"Who do you love Spence?" Lexy appears out of nowhere. Where the hell did she even just come from?

"Um...uh...Carmen." I offer weakly.

"Is that why you broke up with Stacy?" She asks with furrowed brows.

Huh?

"What?"

"Ashley just told me that she just got a text from Stacy a little while ago saying you broke up with her. If you're in love with her then why'd you get with Stacy in the first place Spence? That doesn't make sense. " I hear Madison snort out a laugh. I turn to her with narrowed eyes. She covers her mouth and walks past us to the backyard.

"No it's not why I broke up with Stacy." I shake my head. That's the first truth I've told her since I've been here. "I just don't think I need to be in a relationship right now. I should have never gotten in a relationship with Stacy in the first place, knowing I still had feelings for Carmen." Back to the lies.

"Aw Spence." She rubs my arm comfortingly. Ugh! Why does she have to be such a good friend? "Well you know I'm here to talk if you need to." She adds giving me a soft smile.

"Kay." I nod and return a smile. "Did you um... did you get a chance to talk to Ashley about last night?" I'm sure Ashley didn't break up with her or tell her where she really was because if she did, we wouldn't be having this best friend like conversation right now.

"I did." She nods. "It was just a big misunderstanding, she told me she stayed at her place and that when she said she was turning in early she was already there so..."

"Oh. So she's not cheating or anything?" I question.

She chuckles and says, "No no, nothing like that. I guess I was just being paranoid or something."

"Are you sure cause I mean..." What the fuck are you doing right now Spencer! "I mean, I'm glad it was just a misunderstanding. I told you, Ashley wouldn't do that. She's perfect." I whisper the last part. Lexy narrows her eyes at me. "For you, I mean. You know, you two are perfect for each other." I smile and she nods.

"We are, aren't we?" She turns and looks at her girlfriend. She's watching us, but drops her head when we turn her way.

"Yeah." I breathe out. "I'm gonna go upstairs for a sec, I'll be right back." I tell my friend. She nods and walks towards the group. I take off up the stairs to my room, shutting the door behind me.

I sigh as I sit down on my bed. I can't take this anymore. All the lying, sneaking around...loving someone that I shouldn't. She's never gonna leave Lexy.

I don't know why I didn't see it before.

A knock on my door pulls me from my thoughts and I look up to see Ashley peeking her head in.

"Can I come in?" She asks. I don't speak I just gesture for her to enter. She comes over and sits next to me on the bed. We sit awkwardly for a moment before she breaks the silence. "I heard about you and Stacy...I'm sorry Spence."

"Why?" I snap, turning my head to face her. "Why are you sad about something you knew was gonna happen?"

"I don't think I understand. Are you mad at me?" She asks.

Really?

"Am I mad, really?" She nods and I stand up from the bed. "No." I shake my head. "I'm not fucking mad, I'm just freaking dandy." I spit out harshly.

"Spencer why are you so upset right now?" She stands, trying to touch me.

"Don't." I pull back.

"Spence?" She questions, scrunching her eyebrows together. She really has no idea right now.

"You're really fucking clueless right now." I shake my head. I can feel the tears building in my eyes. I don't wanna cry right now.

"Spencer just talk to me." She reaches for my hand again but I pull away again.

"You had the chance, the perfect chance to end things with her...and you didn't." I shrug and shake my head as the tears fall.

She opens her mouth to speak but closes it quickly. She reaches for me again, but I snatch my hand away. "It wasn't the right time." She tries.

"When will it ever be the right fucking time?" I shout. She looks like she wants to tell me to keep it down but thinks better of it. "It's never the right time to break someone's heart Ashley, but we have to do it. I broke up with Stacy, you should have seen the look on her face. You think I wanted to do that? Or that I liked it? She was so good to me and I did that. I did that because it had to be done. I knew that I could never love her because my heart...my whole fucking heart already belongs to you." I barely get out through sobs. I didn't realize I was crying so hard.

"Spencer please don't cry." She tries to wipe my face but I push her back, shaking my head.

"I feel like I never had a chance. That you were never gonna leave her. You tell me that you will and that you love me. But not enough to leave her I see." I step back, she steps forward matching my stride. "I can't do this anymore." I shake my head, stepping back again, she mirrors my actions.

"Spencer don't-"

"I won't be this girl anymore." I step back again, slamming into my bedroom door. She steps in front of me, wiping away my tears.

"I love you." She whispers.

Clearly love isn't enough.

I need all of her.

Not the parts left over from Lexy.

"I can't do this Ashley." I shake my head again.

"Don't do this." She whispers, moving closer to my lips.

"I'm not the one doing this."

"I'll break up with her Spencer, I promise. I just need more time."

"There is no more time." I close my eyes and sigh. "You need to go." I tell her, keeping my eyes closed. I can't look at her right now. I know that if I do she'll pull me back in again.

"Spencer." She whispers my name and I all I want to do right now is kiss her and tell her that I love her. That I forgive her for not breaking up with Lexy when she had to chance. That it's okay, I'll wait for her as long as it takes.

But I can't.

I won't...

"Just go, please." I beg. I need her to understand what she does to me, that if she says my name that way one more time I'll cave in.

"I don't want to leave." She whispers in my ear. I open my mouth to speak but the sound of someone calling Ashley's voice stops me.

Of course.

"Your girlfriend is calling you." I say softly, ducking under her arm that she'd placed beside my head, so she could exit the room.

"Ashley!" Lexy shouts again. Obviously searching for her.

"Spence..." She turns and calls again.

"Just go." I shake my head weakly, turning and walking into my bathroom. I hear my bedroom door open and close and I know she's gone.

I slide down my bathroom door, landing on the floor with a soft thud as I let the tears escape.

I did always say I'd rather be the one getting hurt in this situation, so Lexy wouldn't have to.

I guess I never figured it'd actually happen that way...

–

Chapter Title- Taylor Swift- We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together