Confessions

I somehow ended up at my parents house.

In the midst of all this chaos, the only thing I wanna do right now is cuddle under my mother and have her tell me that everything will be okay.

Even if deep down, I know it's not going to be.

I sigh as I drop Lexi's keys in the bowl by the door, trudging into the living room to sit down. "Mom." My eyes open wide as she looks up from the TV. "I thought you'd be asleep." I tell her in a low voice, flopping down next to her on the couch.

"Late shift." She says, scanning my face. "Spencer, what's wrong?" She sits up and faces me.

The tears that I'd been fighting the entire car ride over decide that now is as good a time as any to present themselves. I fall into my mother's lap, not being able to stand it any longer. She doesn't push me to talk or anything. She just does what she knows I need right now. She rubs my back and tells me everything is gonna be okay.

When I finally settle down I tell her everything that happened tonight. From karaoke to kissing Ashley. I tell her how guilty I feel for kissing Stacy when I know how I feel about Ashley. She doesn't pry or ask for more information about a certain thing, she just lets me tell my story the way I want to.

To be honest, I've never seen her like this. When I'm done she clears her throat, pushing me up gently off her lap to look at my face.

"You are a beautiful, intelligent, amazing woman." She says as she cups my face, wiping away my tears with her thumbs. "You deserve to be just as happy as anyone." She gives me a small smile as she nods her head. "And if Ashley makes you happy-"

"But it's wrong." I cut her off, shaking my head in her hands. "It's wrong mom. Lexy is my best friend and I don't want to lose her. I can't lose her."

She drops her hands from my face and sighs. "Then you have to distance yourself from Ashley." She says and I nod, knowing she's right. "This Stacy young lady sounds lovely, Spencer. Maybe you should try with her. See if she makes you happy and if she doesn't then... then move on, but at least you can honestly say that you tried.

"Mom..." I say softly, turning to face her. "I think... I think I'm..."

"I know honey." She cuts me off, nodding as she rubs circles in my back. "I know." I fight the urge to cry again. "I have to get to work, but we can talk more when I get home okay?" I nod as she stands from the couch. "I love you, Spence." She leans down and kisses me on my forehead before grabbing her purse and leaving out the front door.

I sigh as I sink down into the couch. Taking out my phone to text Lexy to let her know I borrowed her car and will have it back before she has work in the morning. I drop my phone onto my lap, turning up the volume on the TV a little.

The Golden Girls.

I've always loved this show. It's always had the ability to make me feel better.

My phone vibrates in my lap, pulling me from the TV. Is this Lexy texting me back already? She should be asleep right now?

What if she was awake that whole time?

What if she heard and saw everything?

What if she... will you just check your damn phone already! My subconscious screams at me.

Fine! I scream back.

Mature I know. I'm screaming at myself.

I finally pick my phone up and see that it's a call from Carmen! Ugh! I really don't have time to deal with this right now. I groan and sit my phone down on the couch next to me when it buzzes again. I growl, fully ready to curse Carmen out when I see it's a text from Stacy. Oh, so I was freaking out for nothing. Nice.

'I just couldn't sleep without telling you again how much I enjoyed our date.' I smile at her cuteness. She decides to text me two hours after the fact.

'I had an amazing time too.' I stare at the screen, thinking. Should I just go for it? I roll my eyes and decide, why the hell not? 'What are you doing tomorrow?' I add to the message and send it.

'Seeing you I hope.' She replies quickly. I smile and start to type my reply when another text comes in. 'We still have the photo shoot tomorrow right?'

Crap! I completely spaced on that.

'Yeah, Ashley will text you guys the location.' I text her back.

'Okay then. Well goodnight beautiful and sweet dreams.'

'Goodnight Stacy.'

I sigh and toss my phone on the table. I was planning on avoiding Ashley for a while. I guess that's kind of impossible now.

I kick my feet up on the table, grabbing the blanket off the arm of the couch and draping it over myself. Tonight has been a long night.

Sleep will do me some good.

I wake up the next morning to the sound of my phone ringing. 'Hey, I just met you. And this is crazy. But here's my number, so call me maybe.' I grab my phone and answer it, giving myself a mental note to change my ring tone later.

"Hello?"

"Spencer!" Lex voice shouts from the other line. Shit! I sit up and look at the time on my phone. Half past nine. Crap, Lexy had to be to work at seven.

"Fuck, I am so sorry Lex. I was gonna drop the car back off this morning I just over-"

"No worries Spencer." She tells me in mellow tone. "Ashley dropped me off at work. I'm more concerned with why you left in the first place. Is everything okay?" I rub my temples as I think of what to tell her.

A lie.

"Everything's fine."

"Then why'd you leave?"

"I don't know. I just went for a drive to clear my head and then ended up staying at my parent's house." Not a complete lie.

"Clear your head?" She questions.

"Yeah, you know..." I trail off, hoping she'd do the Lexy thing and finish my sentence with some preconceived notion she's drawn up in her head. But she doesn't say anything, waiting on me to finish. "This whole Carmen thing and then Stacy, I just-"

"Ah, say no more!" She shouts cheerfully. How is she doing all this shouting at work right now? "I get it. You're feeling guilty because you like Stacy but you think it may be too fast for you to be moving on from Carmen." She tells me. Yeah you caught that too?

Tells me.

"Lex I-"

"I get it, Spence." She cuts me off again. "But let me just say this. Carmen cheated on you and any asshole that's dumb enough to cheat on someone they claim to love is a fucking moron. And the dumb bitch she cheated with...well she's a fucking twit." Oh great. Glad to know your thoughts on what's going on between Ashley and I. "You deserve to be happy Spencer..." Why does everyone keep saying that? "and if Stacy makes you happy," Right band, wrong member. "then I say go for it."

"Right." I nod and say. "Did you need me to pick you up from work?" I ask, trying to change the subject.

"No." She says and I can hear someone yelling in the background. "Ashley said the photo shoots today, I wouldn't want you to feel like you have to rush so just keep it. I'll get Randy or someone to give me a ride home." I hear someone yelling again and Lexy saying an 'okay.'

"Lex do you need to-"

"Yeah, I gotta go Spence. See you at home."

"Actually I was thinking I would stay at my par-"

"Love you!" She shouts before hanging up. Nice. I toss my phone on the table and sigh. Once again feeling super conflicted.

How did this fun amazing summer turn into this drama filled soap opera. I fucking hate soap operas. Well... certain soap operas.

I pull myself up from the couch, knowing I need to head back to Lexy's to get ready for the photo shoot that's in a couple of hours. I grab my phone off the table again, looking down at it. I don't know why I was expecting Ashley to call. Or text at least. But all night...nothing.

"Did you sleep here?" Glen asks as he take a bite of his breakfast sandwich. I try to side step him, not wanting to deal with him right now. "For real though, did you sleep here?" He asks again.

"Glen move." I whine. I really don't have time for this. He takes another bite of his sandwich and steps in my way as I try to step around him again.

"Yes, I slept here. Now move." I push him out the way, almost knocking his sandwich out of his hand.

"Girl trouble?" He says and my head immediately shoots back to him. He's wearing a dorky grin on his face as he takes another bite of his sandwich.

"What do you know about my girl troubles?" I question him with a raised brow, moving closer to him.

"Oh nothing." He shrugs. I let out a sigh of relief. Thank goodness for that. "You know, just that you totally have a thing for your best friends girlfriend." He smiles and turns to walk away.

What?

"What!" I shout chasing after him. I step in front of him. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm not blind Spencer. Anyone with eyes can tell what's going on here."

"Will you stop being so cryptic and just spit it out." I half shout to my brother. I really want to know exactly what he knows.

"At lunch a couple weeks ago." He stops, taking another bite of his sandwich. Oh my God, I wanna hit him right now. "You were making googly eyes." He adds with a mouth full.

"No we weren't." I punch him in the arm and turn to walk away. Completely over this conversation now.

"Keep telling yourself that, little sister!" He shouts to my retreating figure. After leaving my parent's house I headed to Lexy's to shower and get ready for the photo shoot. Thank goodness Ashley had already left.

Stacy texted me while I was getting ready, telling me that Ashley still hadn't texted them the address. I sigh and text the address to her.

After getting dressed I grab my camera and a few rolls of film before heading over to the Garden.

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Chapter title- Usher Confessions