I drag my suitcases into Lexy's apartment and trudge towards the spare room that I'll be occupying for the summer. My load becomes a little lighter as Ashley takes one of the suitcases from my hands and carries it in the rest of the way.

I really love slash hate how amazing she is. She's making it really hard to be mad at her. Opening doors, carrying bags, I mean honestly! Who does that?

"I can carry my own bag Ashley, it's fine."

"I'm sure you can." She answers with a smile as she handles the bag with ease.

I see her bicep clench as she tightens her grip on the handle, she gently kicks the door open and places my bag against the wall. I drag my feet into the room, dropping my other suitcase at the door and place my camera on the nearby dresser. I turn to see that she's still standing there. I look around and try to figure out just what to say.

This awkward thing really has to stop.

"You guys wanna watch a movie since it's still a little early?"

Thank you Lexy.

"Sure sounds great." I speak up quickly out of relief and my best friend takes it as excitement.

I don't really want to see them cuddle on the couch watching a movie but my options are looking pretty slim right now.

Lexy nods once and bounces out of the room. She screams something along the lines of s'mores and both Ashley and my eyes shoot open as we yell at Lexy.

"No s'mores!" We both bolt out of the room in attempt to stop her.

Well things are exactly as I pictured. Lexy is buried in Ashley's arms and I'm on the other side of my best friend trying to keep my eyes on the screen while they steal kisses between scenes.

If she invited me to stay to watch her make out with her girlfriend, that shit's not flying with me. I shift in my seat as my phone goes off. My eyes shut in defeat because I know who's on the other line without having to check.

I'm in so much trouble.

I excuse myself, but I don't even think they notice me leaving.

Ugh couples.

I answer the call and rush towards my room. I flinch as I hear her yell through the phone in Spanish.

"Madison I'm sorry!"

"You had me waiting all day! I do not wait Spencer it's not in my DNA."

"It's not!" I laugh as I hear Aiden shout in the background then cry in pain. Madison no doubt slapped him for butting into the conversation.

"Go read a book or something it's time for me to have my fill of Spencer." She shoo's away her boyfriend. I smirk then quickly frown as I realize how much I miss them.

Pouts all around.

"Madison be nice."

"You are in no position to be giving orders missy. Now start talking." I drop onto the bed and get comfortable, as I smile at her vivacious attitude. I started from the very beginning per her request as I replay the scene on the airplane. She awes at the mention of Ashley grabbing my hand for support and I try not to roll my eyes. I then talk about the flirting.

"Oh no you were not trying to be smooth."

"I don't need to try I just do, now shush. So we part ways and I'm thinking I'm never going to see her again. I get out of the airport and get bombarded by Lexy."

"Next!" I laugh at Madison's outburst. They seriously do not like when I talk about the other one to them.

"Madison."

"Nope I said next. If this were DVR I'd be fast forwarding right now. I don't want to hear about the best friend stealer."

"You both need to get over that. Anyway Lexy" I ignore the sound of Madison sucking her teeth at the mention of Lexy. "drags me to this beach party."

"I would never drag you anywhere, Spencer."

"You dragged me to a party the other night." I remind her.

"You asked and I just delivered." I can practically hear her shrug. "Do not act like it's the same thing."

I tell her about the beach party and all her commentary is making it hard to find this situation serious. She tells me excitedly my life is like a soap opera. Geez, I hope not.

I mention how in love they look, Ashley thought the same thing as me about us never seeing each other. That our flirting was harmless, but I didn't see it that way. I also tell her how we spent the night getting to know each other and she started to sing for me.

"Damn Spence, two days and that girl is already serenading you. Let me find out."

"You would if you stop interrupting." I answer through gritted teeth but keep my tone playful. I carry on after she sits in silence only for a few minutes before she hears about how Lexy volunteered me to be the photographer of Ashley's photo shoot.

"How this bitch…"

"Madison!" I shout in defense for my friend.

"Don't interrupt me!' I shake my head as I allow her to continue. "How this bitch just volunteer your ass to do stuff for her girlfriend. Like really who does that? Plus she acting like you ain't got anything else better to do like call your real best friend who has been waiting for your ass to call all damn day!'

I ignore her and continue my side of the conversation like hers never existed. She makes sure I know that she exist when she flips out that Carmen called but then her insults turn to cheers of approval as I tell her I shut Carmen down quick.

She quiets down after this because she feels my mood change. I sigh as I think of today's events. I can't believe the emotional roller coaster I've been on in only the span of two days. I tell her how Ashley and I spent the day. She remains quiet the entire time. When I finish telling her about what happened at the garden she finally speaks up.

"Wow Spence…that's wow."

"I know. I know I'm not supposed to want this Mads. I know, but I can't help it. I just…she makes me…I can't even describe it but I love the way it feels. Everything about her pulls me in deeper Mads. I don't know what to do. I don't want anyone to get hurt but I know this can't end well. For any of us."

"Well maybe should just come back to New York." I go to inject but she cuts me off. "I'm not just saying that because I miss you. I just think that it's not good for you to be there. You shouldn't have to spend your whole summer in pain." She finishes. She's right. It's only two days into my summer vacation and already it's too much for me. Maybe coming back to L.A was a mistake.

"Maybe you're right, maybe coming back to L.A was a mistake. Maybe I should just go back to New York regroup myself and-"

"Hey." Ashley says, peeking her head through the door.

"Who's that?" Madison asks quickly.

"Um hey." Turn around and sit up on the bed.

"Who's that, Spence? Is that her? Is that Ashley? Can I talk to her? Give her a piece of my mind?" Madison barrels off her questions without taking a breath.

"Madison I'm gonna call you back." I say into the receiver, keeping my eyes on Ashley.

"Spencer don't you dare hang up on me." She yells back.

"Gotta go, love you." I tell her quickly, hanging up the phone before she could reply. I know she's gonna be calling me back in a moment anyways. "Where's Lex?" I question, looking around Ashley like Lexy would be standing there.

She turns and looks back towards the living room. "She passed out about twenty minutes ago." She tells me as she comes in and takes a seat at the foot of the bed.

"Oh." Is all I can think of to say.

"I um... I just came to check on you. You left out of there so quickly I wanted to make sure everything was okay."

"Yeah. Just got a phone call." I tell her, waving my phone."

"Right." She nods. "Well I'm gonna um go, Lex has work in the morning so..." She trails off, thumbing towards the door.

"Okay." I nod.

I look down into my lap and stare at my phone a little surprised Madison has yet to call back. She's probably on her way to JFK to fly here and kick my ass for hanging up on her so many times today.

I feel the bed shift and I bite the inside of my cheek as I fight the urge to look up at her. My phone rings and I glance down at it, thinking it's Madison but it's not...it's Carmen. I roll my eyes and quickly press ignore.

She sits directly in front of me tucking one leg under the other. I close my eyes and release a heavy sigh as she places a hand under my chin and guides my face up.

"Spence look at me."

Her voice is husky and I really wish I didn't find it so appealing. I really wish I didn't want her as much as I do and I really wish I didn't open my eyes because the look she's giving me makes me want to kiss her.

I swallow the lump in my throat. I want to cry. Crying sounds like a good idea right now. I'm so emotionally stressed and it's killing me.

I grab her by the wrist and pull it away from my face. I try to say 'don't' but my voice fails me. I have to clear my throat but the urge to cry gets stronger when I try to talk.

This is my best friend's girlfriend.

I don't want to hurt Lexy, I love her. I do but a part of me right now doesn't care if she gets hurt if I get what I want and that scares me. I stand up and start to pace.

I let out a shaky breath and I feel Ashley's eyes on me.

"Spencer talk to me."

She's in front of me again, and she's ruining my pacing. I have a method here and she's interfering. She grips my arms and lowers her head to catch my eyes. I try to shake out of her grasp. Her touching me is setting me on fire and not in the bad way. In the way where I want her to never stop, to keep me there and bring me closer, to pull me so close that I'm practically ablaze. All I want is for her to hold me and that's why I have to step away.

"Please don't…" I croak out.

"Don't what?" She asks stepping closer. I gently push against her shoulders.

"That…don't do that."

She releases her hold on me throwing her hands up in surrender and it's a lot harder to breathe after she did. I shake my head at that small fact.

"Spencer…I'm sorry I don't…"

"You're sorry?!" I half shout trying to keep my voice down. The last thing I need is for Lexy to come in here and make things a million times more worse than they already are. "I'm the one who's crushing on my best friend's girlfriend. A best friend who by the way does not deserve for me to have these feelings for her girlfriend and you're the one that's sorry."

"I'm sorry?" She offers again. I groan in frustration. Is she serious right now? "Spencer just calm down. I get it okay?"

I let out a laugh of disbelief. "Oh you get it?"

I think that offended her because she looks a little pissed.

Looks kind of hot actually.

Ugh! See what's she's does to me?!

"Yeah I fucking get it! " She's whisper yelling like I was. We sound ridiculous but you try having an argument without yelling. "You don't think you're throwing me for a loop. I love her... I've love her for so long and then here you come out of nowhere-"

"I did not come out of nowhere." I scoff. "I was here before you, therefore I've got seniority!" She smirks and fights off her smile. I point at her angrily. "Do not smile."

Ashley sighs and runs a hand through her hair. "Spencer I've written more songs about you in two days than I have for her in this seven month relationship."

She closes the distance between us placing a warm palm against my cheek and I can finally breathe again. I close my eyes and the peace of her touch is coupled along with overwhelming guilt.

"Spencer I…"

"I can't do this." I step back, away from my apparent source of oxygen. "I can't do this with you right now you're too…you're meaning too much to me too quickly and I can't do this." I step back further away from her. Like moving away is gonna change anything. "Please…" I practically beg "...just leave me alone." I look into her eyes, the task difficult, as tears begin to well up in my eyes.

She tries to move closer and as much as I want her to I need her not to.

"Spence…" She offers sadly.

"Please." I beg again.

She just nods and looks away from me. "Okay." She says weakly and sidesteps me, my back is still to her and I only hear her. "We can't avoid this forever."

"I know." I croak out before I hear the door close.

But I'm damn sure going to have to try.

–

Chapter title- Taylor Swift- I Knew You Were Trouble