“Was that your ex?” Ashley asks, keeping her eyes on the road as we drive to my parents house. I put the address in her GPS so I wouldn't have to give her turn by turn directions.

“Yeah.” I reply softly, not really wanting to get into a conversation about Carmen.

“Sore subject?” She questions, turning and looking at me briefly.

“You can say that.” I tell her with a nod. “Carmen doesn't really deserve to be talked about to be honest. Um... she cheated on me and then paraded around with the girl in my face the next day like it didn't happen.” As the words leave my lips I can feel the tears building. My wound still a bit open. Carmen was my first girlfriend and I thought she would be my only. How very lesbian of me right? Well I didn't come out until senior year of high school...to myself and to others. My parents took it better than I thought they would and well Lexy... when I told her she said and I quote, “Thank fucking God cause I was so sick of pretending like I didn't know.” She'd told me she was gay in like third grade believe it or not. I think after I came out our relationship grew much stronger. We had more in common, I guess.

“Well she's stupid.” Ashley says, causing me to look at her. She glances at me again, alternating between my eyes and the road. “Anyone that would cheat you Spencer, is stupid.” She says again and I can see the honesty in her eyes.

What do I say to that?

“Thanks.” Falls from my lips before I could stop it. Thanks? Thanks! Wow, nice one Spencer.

Ashley chuckles and nods. “You're welcome...” She narrows her eyes at me. “I guess.”

“You have arrived at your destination.” The GPS tells us, breaking our staring match as Ashley puts the car in park.

“We're here.” I say for no reason.

“Yeah.” She nods. “I gathered.” She adds with a smile.

“Spencer!” I hear my mom yell from the door. I drop my head and sigh, rolling my eyes as I turn to look at her. Oh God, she's running towards the car with her arms open, waiting for me to fill them. Why is she running? I turn back to Ashley to see her laughing.

“That's your mom huh?” She nods towards an excited blonde.

I sigh. “Yup.” I shake my head as I exit the car. “Hi mom.” I barely get out as she engulfs me in a hug.

“Don't you ever make me wait nine whole months to see my baby ever again.” She tells me sternly as she squeezes me even tighter. I think she should be having this conversation with God... don't you?

Get it?

Get it?

“Mom you're crushing my clavicle.” I tell her trying to catch my breath.

“Oh don't be ridiculous.” She says releasing me. I hear Ashley chuckle as she gets out of the car. “Ah!” My mom shouts, running around to the other side of the car. “You must be Carmen?” She questions, pulling Ashley into a hug.

“Mom that's not Carmen.” I tell her quickly. She gives me a confused look. “I told you, Carmen and I broke up three weeks ago.” I add, rolling my eyes as she releases Ashley.

“Oh!” She says, looking at me then turning back to Ashley. “Then who is this?” I let out a puff of air, frustrated at how annoying my mom is being right now.

“I'm Ashley.” Ashley tells my mom through a chuckle, holding out her hand for my mom to shake.

“Well aren't you polite.” My mom says, disregarding Ashley's hand, pulling her into a hug.

“Mom!” I squeak out as she hugs Ashley tighter. Are you kidding me right now?

“Are you Spencer's new girlfriend?” She asks letting Ashley go.

“Um no ma'am, actually I'm--”

“She's Lexy's girlfriend mom.” I interject, saving Ashley the breath.

“Oh!” I mom says, nodding her head slowly like she just figured out the hardest puzzle of all time.

“But I'd like to think that Spencer and I are friends.” Ashley gives me a pointed look before turning back to my mother.

“Of course, Of course.” Paula nods and smiles. “Will you two be staying for lunch?” She asks as she walks back around the car to me.

“Actually mom, I just dropped by to say hello. Ashley and I have some--”

“Oh come on, Spence honey! You've been in an entirely different state for over nine months. Is it wrong that I want to have lunch with my daughter her first day back?”

“Technically it's my sec--”

“Of course we can stay for lunch.” Ashley says appearing next to me. My head quickly shoots to her, she gives me a smile before turning back to my mother.

“Excellent!” My mom says, practically jumping for joy. “This one's a keeper Spencer.” She adds, smiling lovingly at Ashley before turning around and walking towards the house.

“You hear that?” Ashley turns to me and says. “I'm a keeper.” She smiles widely. “I told you... parent's love me.” She shrugs, before jogging to catch up with my mom.

“Too bad you're not mine to keep.” I mumble out and sigh as I walk towards the house.

“So where's Lexy anyways?” I hear my mom ask Ashley.

“She's at work.” She replies as they enter the house.

This is gonna be great.

–

“Lunch was amazing Ms...” Ashley trails off, realizing she never got my last name.

“Oh, just call me Paula honey.” My mom tells her with the wave of a hand as she gets up to clear the table.

“So Ashley you--”

“She's taken Glen.” I stop my brother before he could make an ass of himself.

“Anyways, Ashley...” He starts again.

“And gay.” I cut him off. “Very, very gay.” I add with a head nod.

“Damnit Spencer!” Glen says, kicking back his chair as he stands up from the table. He disappears into the kitchen as Clay and Ashley both chuckle.

“He would have hit on you until you either told him to fuck off or slept with him.” I turn to Ashley and tell her. “I just saved you the trouble.” I add wit a shrug.

“That's so true.” Clay adds as he stands. “It was nice meeting you Ashley.” He turns to her and says.

“You leaving?” I question him.

“Yeah. I've got class in a couple of hours and I want to see Chelsea before I go.”

“I still don't understand why you chose to go to school in the Summer bro, you're gonna miss out.” I tell him standing. In my peripheral, I see Ashley do the same.

“It was the only way I could graduate next Spring.” He shrugs. “That's a price I'm willing to pay.” He adds with a smile.

“Maybe you should channel some of your brain power into your brother. What is he in, his sixth year of college?” I question with a laugh, Clay joining in.

“Go easy on him Spence, you know he's challenged.” Clay chuckles out.

“Right.” I nod and laugh along with him. “Tell Chelsea I said hey.”

“Will do. You know she's gonna wanna hang out with you so let me know when's best for you.” He tells me as he comes around the table and kisses my cheek.

“Anytime, bro.” I reply.

“I'll let her know. Again it was nice meeting you, Ashley.” He says hugging her.

“You too.” Ashley replies as they pull back from the hug.

“Tell mom I'm gone.” He waves and leaves.

“Wow, you guys really like to hug huh?” Ashley asks with a quirked brow and smile.

“We're an affectionate family.” I shrug, grabbing me and Ashley's plates off the table. “We like to show people what we're feeling instead of just using words.” I add, turning to head towards the kitchen.

“I think that's cool.” Ashley says, following behind me.

“So Ashley, what do you do?” My mom asks as we enter the kitchen. I hand her our plates as she loads the dishwasher.

“Mom really?” I question in an annoyed tone. All throughout lunch she kept asking Ashley questions, about Lexy and their relationship. I mean my goodness, give the girl a break. This isn't Jeopardy.

“It's okay Spencer.” Ashley waves me off.

“See.” My mom turns to me and says, stopping what she was doing. “It's okay.” She adds before turning back to Ashley. I make a face at her before hoping on the counter.

“I'm a musician.” Ashley tells my mom.

“Oooh. That's great. You know, Spencer's into photography. Two artistic minds, that's a match made in heaven.”

“Mom!” I whine. Why is she doing this to me right now?

Ashley chuckles and says, “I did know that. But she won't let me see any of her work.” She adds, glancing at me with narrowed eyes. I do the mature thing and stick my tongue out at her.

Yup, I know...

She laughs before turning back to my mom.

“You know what...” My mom starts, lifting up from the dishwasher. “She doesn't let me see any of her work either.” She says then turns to me. “Why is that, Spencer?”

“Yeah, why is that Spencer?” Ashley chimes in.

I give them both an annoyed look. “I told you. My work is sacred.” I say and shrug.

“Well so is my counter. So hop your little ass off of it.” She comes over and shoo's me off. I turn to see Ashley laughing. I'm glad this is so amusing to her.

“Mom I'm leaving!” Glen shouts from somewhere in the front.

“Be home by dinner son.” My mother yells back. Yup, Glen's a grown ass man that still lives with mommy and daddy. Typical.

“Oh by the way, Clay said to tell you he's gone.”

“Well how nice of you to tell me thirty years later Spencer.”

“You lucky I said anything at all.” I shrug, grabbing a grape from the bowl on the counter and popping it in my mouth.

“So Ashley, are you like Spencer when it comes to your music?”

“Uh no ma'am. I love to share my music with other people.” Ashley responds. Turning to look at me when she says the last part. I make a face that causes her to chuckle.

“I would love to hear something.”

“Mom!” I whine again. “We really need to go. We've already spent more than--”

“It's fine Spencer.” Ashley cuts me off, holding a hand up.

“Ashley.” I say in a disbelieving tone. How dare she do this right now?

“We've got time.” She chuckles. “I'm just gonna go grab my guitar from the car.” She says before heading out.

“I like her.” My mom stops as she's walking towards the living room and says. I fake a smile before following after her. A few moments later Ashley comes back with her guitar.

“This is a new song I've been working on, so it's gonna be kinda raw. But it's quickly becoming one of my favorites.” She smiles as she takes a seat across from my mother and I on the love seat. My mother smiles and waits in anticipation as Ashley strums her guitar. I don't know this tune so it isn't the song she played for me this morning.

She clears her throat as she prepares herself to sing the lyrics. I stare at her intently, as I've done every time I've seen her perform. Something about the way she strums her guitar. So much emotion.

“A drop in the ocean. A change in weather, I was praying that you and me might end up together. It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert. But I'm holding you closer than most cause you are my heaven.” She sings the beginning of the song, her eyes fixed on mine. Is she singing to me? She smiles a little as she starts the next part.

“I don't wanna waste the weekend, If you don't love me pretend. A few more hours then it's time to go. And as my train rolls down the east coast. I wonder how you keep warm. It's too late to cry. To broken to move on. And still I can't let you be. Most nights I hardly sleep. Don't take what you don't need from me. It's just a drop in the ocean, a change in weather, I was praying that you and me might end up together. It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert but I'm holding you closer than most cause you are my heaven.”

She strums her guitar, letting the music fill our ears as her eyes stray from mine to my mothers. I know she's trying not to look at me right now. The same way I'm trying not to look at her. I keep thinking how wrong this is. What would happened if my mom put two and two together right now. I've only known Ashley a couple of days but it feels like it's been forever.

“Misplaced trust and old friends. Never counting regrets. By the grace of God, I do not rest at all. And New England as the leaves change. The last excuse I'll claim is that I was a girl who loved a woman like a little girl. And still I can't let you be. Most nights I hardly sleep. Don't take what you don't need...from me.” She pauses and glances at me. Stopping her fingers from strumming the guitar. She closes her eyes tightly, letting out a puff of air before starting again.

“Its just a drop in the ocean, a change in the weather. I was praying that you and me might end up together. It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert. But I'm holding you closer than most, cause you are my... heaven doesn't seem far away anymore no no...heaven doesn't seem far away. Heaven doesn't seem far awaaaaay. Heaven seem far away anymore no no. Heaven doesn't seem far away.” She continues to sing. Rifting her words and strumming her guitar. I've never seen her put so much emotion into her music.

“A drop in the ocean, a change in the weather. I was praying that you and me might end up together. It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert but I'm holding you closer than most. Cause you are my heaven. You are my heaven.” She finishes, glancing at me one last time. I swallow thickly as my mom claps in approval. My eyes involuntarily close as Ashley's tongue snakes out and runs across her lips.

“Thank you.” Her raspy voice breaks me out of my trans. I slowly open my eyes, trying with ever fiber of my being not to look at her. My mind and my eyes are clearly not on the same page because they immediately go to Ashley. She's biting the inside of her lip and looking down as my mother continues to clap.

“That was amazing, Ashley. Spencer wasn't that amazing?” She turns to me and asks, slapping me on the shoulder.

“Yeah.” I reply distractedly. I can't seem to focus on anything but Ashley's face right now.

“Amazing.” My mother says again, getting up from the couch. “You're really talented Ashley. You're going places for sure.” She adds before walking back into the kitchen.

The silence was piercing. Almost like someone scratching their nails across a chalkboard. I don't know what to say... what to feel. Lexy is my best friend. But the connection between Ashley and I is obvious.

“Spencer...” Ashley starts. But I can't... I can't hear whatever she's about to say. I can't do this.

I shake my head and stand up. “Mom we're leaving.” I shout into the kitchen, cutting her off.

“Okay honey.” My mom says coming back out of the kitchen. She pulls me into a hug. “You all should come over for dinner. Your father will be home, I'm sure he wants to see you. And bring Lexy. I haven't seen her in forever. She hardly ever comes around when you're not here.” She smiles as she pulls back from me and pulls Ashley into a hug. “It was very nice to meet you Ashley.”

“And you, Paula.” Ashley replies as they pull back.

“Bye mom.” I say quickly before jetting out of the door. Not bothering to check if Ashley was behind me. I climb into Ashley's car and shut the door. Out the corner of my I see her exit the house, putting her guitar in the backseat before climbing into the driver seat.

“Spencer.” She turns to me and says softly.

“We should probably go.” I tell her, not turning to look at her.

“Spencer you can't--”

“Ashley.” I plead. We don't have to do this. We don't have to talk about it. I like my best friends girlfriend more than I should. Whatever.

“Okay.” She nods as she cranks up the car and puts it in drive.

I sigh inwardly. This really sucks.

–

Song Used- Ron Pope- A Drop In The Ocean