Amber

We left on Friday after my early shift. Sarah and Dan took turns driving his car since I had never had an opportunity to learn. It was just another demonstration of how teaching me useful life skills had been a vanishingly low hunter priority.

While we travelled, they bickered amongst themselves about everything from what we should be listening to on the radio to whether a werewolf or a vampire would be a bigger threat one on one against a hunter.

My stomach was in knots by the time we arrived back at the territory, well after dark. It had been months since I had been there, but it was almost as if time had stopped in my absence. Sarah spoke through her mind link to the wolves on patrol, and they let us in without any difficulty. I had been second guessing my decision to return the entire journey, and it only got worse the closer we got. Was I doing the right thing, walking straight back into a situation that would be hard to get out of again?

"This was a stupid idea," I said.

"I think you needed to do this," Dan said in his most ridiculously calming tone. Just because maybe I needed to do it, didn't mean that I wanted to do it.

"I think I should never have let you two talk me into coming back here."

"You wanted to come back, deep down." The vampire was unfortunately right.

Sarah pulled the car to a stop in front of the pack house. It hadn't changed at all, still well-maintained, large and modest. I got out of the car and stretched my cramped legs. My throat constricted. "Where is he?" I asked.

"Probably in his office," Sarah said. "He always tries to work himself to death when something is bothering him."

I walked forward, my steps heavy with reluctance. I pushed open the main doors, letting myself into the pack house.

"Amber, wait, he's blocking his mind link, so he's probably really busy," Sarah said, grasping me by the arm. There was something in her tone of voice that tipped me off that something was not right. The ominous feeling resurged. She was keeping whatever that something was from me. I was torn between my curiosity and my desire to get as far away as possible.

"Now you want me to wait?" I asked her. "If I don't go see him now, I'm getting back in that car, and I swear I'm never coming back." I shook her off since she hadn't been holding me that hard.

Dan was frowning as he considered the situation. I wondered what he thought about Sarah's reaction. "Come on, Dan. You came this far, you might as well come the rest of the way."

So I walked inside. Dan followed as he looked around curiously and Sarah trailed behind him, wringing her hands together nervously.

"Tell me what's wrong."

"It's just..."

"Fine. I'll go ask him myself." I walked in quickly, determinedly, although my tension rose with each step. I had to fight my old instincts of running away and hiding, and I grabbed the handle of his office door and tried to wrench it open.

It didn't turn, the door was locked. That ominous feeling only grew as I considered what might be happening inside that office that Sarah would fear to tell me.

I turned to rush away, but the door swung open a moment later, and I couldn't help but look. He stood there, the first couple buttons of his shirt undone, and behind him Megan straightened her blouse.

I might have been innocent and naive, but I wasn't that innocent and naive. He and Megan...

"You came back," Alpha Devon said, those grey eyes wide with surprise that quickly filled with regret and shame.

"And it was a mistake." I was frozen in place. I couldn't stop staring at him. I felt the reflection of the regret that was on his face. I regretted coming back. And maybe I even regretted leaving. But it was too late to change any of that, because I had gone, and I had returned, and now I was standing here, looking at the way he had moved on without me.

"I can explain."

"You don't need to explain. It's not like we are anything."

"Amber, I..."

Megan came out of the office as he spoke, but she wasn't looking at either me or the alpha. Her blue eyes were fixed on Dan, wide with something like recognition. "It's you."

"We've never met," he corrected, although he seemed equally transfixed with her face as she was with his.

Alpha Devon wasn't paying them any attention, and his voice drew my scattered focus back to him. "I thought I'd never see you again. I gave up. I shouldn't have. You're my mate. I'm sorry, Amber, please, this situation..."

Dan was talking to Megan, who had moved closer to him. "I'm only here to support Amber, and I suspect we'll be leaving. Whatever this is, it can't happen. We're not compatible." His words pulled me out of my stunned stupor and pointed me in the direction I needed to go. I needed to leave. I ran out of the pack house, and away from the chaos of arguing and pleading.

Behind me, Alpha Devon's voice broke over Megan's begging and Dan's responses. "Why didn't you warn me she was coming back, Sarah?"

"I shouldn't have had to warn you! She came back, and you screwed it up!"

"I thought she was done with me!"

"You should have had more faith in her! In the bond! She's been through really tough times and now you go and do this!?"

The entrance to the pack house slammed behind me, and I couldn't hear anymore of the arguments. I deliberately locked all the doors and climbed into the back seat, hugging my knees to my chest. I felt physically sick at what I had just witnessed.

Alpha Devon had followed me from the pack house and stood outside the car. I didn't look at him, but unfortunately his voice came through the closed doors and windows.

"Amber, please. I didn't think you'd ever come back. I was just trying to find a way to live without you. Please. Give me another chance."

"You don't need another chance, because you didn't actually do anything wrong," I said loudly. My silly heart disagreed with my head. It wasn't like we had been together or had made any promises. It was just the stupid bond making me feel like I had been betrayed. I had told him I didn't want him before I had left him. I had tried to make him believe that was true so he wouldn't have another reason to force me to stay. This was what I had thought I wanted. He couldn't have betrayed me because there was nothing to betray.

"Yes, I did! I should have waited for you."

"No. All you did was show me that this whole thing is all in our heads. And that is a good thing!"

"It's not all in our heads. I never should have..."

"It doesn't matter!"

"It does matter. Amber, please, I'm begging you. I'll make it up to you."

I stared at the mats on the floor and gritted my teeth. "I'm going home."

"Please, just one more chance."

"I was leaving again after this weekend, anyway. I just wanted to make up my mind, and now I have." Again my heart already wanted to give in and give him exactly what he asked for, but I couldn't. All that was between us was the bond, and it clearly didn't mean as much as these wolves claimed it did.

"Amber, it just about killed me to let you go last time, but I did it because that's what you wanted. Are you really happy out there with the humans? Sarah won't tell me anything. My wolf has been going crazy. Are you happy, at least?"

"I am," I lied.

"Then why did you come back?"

I shrugged and looked at him standing there, kept back from me by the glass between us. He looked as tired as I felt. Before I could try to come up with a good answer to why I had returned, Sarah came out of the pack house, half-pulling Dan by the arm. "Amber needs you right now," she snapped. Megan was following them, tears running down her cheeks. "The two of you can figure this mess out later if you want. If Amber says we're going home, we're going home."

Alpha Devon turned to his cousin. "Sarah, I—"

She spun to face him. "I don't want to even hear it! She came back to you, and you royally screwed it up. You knew better!"

"I did! I did what I thought was best for everyone! Was I supposed to just wait forever while my wolf lost his mind?"

"It wasn't forever, it was nine months, you impatient jackass! You deserve to lose her after this shit you just pulled!" she was almost yelling at him.

"I know I screwed up, but damn it, she never gave me the slightest sign that she felt anything towards me other than fear. You never told me anything that might have given me hope! You said she was doing fine, and I was trying not to mess that up!"

"I told you I wasn't going to spy on her and you're an idiot if you think alienating her further was going to help anything! You know the depth of the bond and should have known that she would have come back, but you just couldn't keep it in your pants, could you?"

"It wasn't like that! There was no reason to hope she would come back. I needed to cope and move on!"

"Well, now you can move on! And I support her in rejecting you!"

"Don't even—"

She growled at Alpha Devon and looked at me through the car window. "If you reject him, those dreams will stop and the bond will fade away."

He glowered down at Sarah, looking like he was ready to kill, wolf in his eyes. Fear shot through me, remembering how he lost his temper and nearly attacked me when I first talked about rejecting him. I fumbled the car door open and rushed towards them.

Even as I ran forward, Dan yanked Sarah back behind him as if he was protecting her, and Alpha Devon growled at him. I wanted to protect them both. I wasn't sure if Dan could hold his own against an alpha werewolf or not, and I didn't want to find out.

And then the alpha looked towards me, gold eyes flashing, breathing hard, muscles tense. I froze, and let my shoulders slump into my instinctual submissive response, but then I remembered everything that had happened and forced myself to straighten up. "Don't you dare hurt Sarah!"

"You think I would hurt my cousin?" he asked, pain under his disbelief.

"Or Dan!" I added. He inhaled slowly and deliberately, although still on edge. "You looked like you were going to. I'm not the only one who thought that, either," I pointed out, becoming suddenly aware of the number of onlookers from the pack, including Oliver, who I could only imagine ran over in his wolf form since he was standing there displaying a whole lot more of himself than I was interested in seeing.

He raked his hands through his hair, eyes closed. "You're right. I'm sorry." Then he straightened up. "All right. I'm ready."

"Ready?" I asked, not sure what he was talking about.

"Reject me. Say your name, and mine, and that you reject me."

There were a few gasps from the gawking crowd, but I could barely hear them. For some stupid reason, my throat closed up and tears burned at my eyes at the idea of ending things.

"I'm in control of my wolf for now. I can't take another separation, Amber. I...I didn't deal with it well. Just get it over with."

"I..."

"Do it fast! My wolf is fighting me, and I don't want to hurt you."

"But I don't want to," I said, my mouth moving as if on its own.

He look tortured, like he'd been pushed to the end of what he could endure. It hurt to see him like this, like a physical pain in my chest. "You don't owe me anything, but I need the clean break. I can't function without it. Take your freedom before I do something we'll both regret."

"But...I can't."

He inhaled. "Fine. I'll do it."