Amber

The alpha invaded my subconscious that night. I let him kiss me, and a lot of other undefined things that I did not really know much about, but instinctually wanted.

Even minutes after waking, my heart pounded and I was sweaty and nervous. I could practically feel the noose tightening around my neck, and questions about whether there was a point in resisting wandered through my mind.

What was I even going to find out there amongst the normal humans? These wolves turned out to be no more dangerous than hunters, and I felt more accepted than I had in my entire life, not that that was a difficult bar to clear.

Getting ready for the day, I left the room that was my prison, to enter the wider territory that was no freer for me.

To my relief, I didn't run into him.

I didn't see the alpha for an entire day, which almost felt strange. He was there at supper, but he did not even try to interact with me. I almost would have believed that he had lost his interest, but once or twice I caught him looking in my direction before he quickly looked away.

My gaze stayed studiously on my plate after that.

After supper, he did not try to stop me or catch me. The next day was the same, as was the next, with minimal contact between us. I was not sure whether to be relieved or disappointed, which was insane because I clearly should have been pleased. If he stayed away, it would be that much easier when my time came to leave. I convinced myself I was satisfied with this turn of events.

—————

A blond# woman I had not met previously caught my attention the next day at breakfast. "Good morning," she said in a voice that was almost too cheerful.

"Good morning," I said, lowering my gaze more out of habit than anything.

"I'm Megan, and I'm assuming you must be Amber. I've seen you around."

I glanced at her. She was a rather beautiful blond with sparkling blue eyes. "Nice to meet you."

"And you, too," I lied.

"So, you're probably going mad trapped in the pack house all the time, huh?" she asked, and then continued without waiting for my response. "Well, since you're here, I could use some help with a little project I'm working on."

"Oh." I wondered what it was. I could cook or clean, but anything else sounded like a stressful ordeal for me.

"I need help planning a mate ball."

"A mate ball?"

"A gathering where unmated wolves can come and try to find their mates. Totally romantic, but also practical. They don't happen very often because packs never want to take responsibility, but Alpha Devon gave me the go ahead to set one up."

She sounded incredibly excited and I suddenly felt guilty at the idea of resisting her.

"And, uh, what do you want me to do?"

"Help with the planning. As our future luna, all these sorts of decisions will be yours to make. But of course, you don't have to do it all right now, but you could help me, right? I could really use some feedback."

She looked at me with pleading eyes, but even without that, I hated saying no. "Fine, I'll help. But I'm not your future luna. I only agreed to stay for two months and give the alpha a chance. He agreed to let me leave afterwards."

"Oh. Well, that was bold of him. He must be sure that he'll win you over to take such a risk."

I shrugged noncommittally. I was wondering if he had not already given up, considering he had stopped hounding me, not that I was complaining. I changed the subject to get her off the topic of the alpha. "You seem very excited about this."

She nodded. "I dreamed of finding my mate for so long. Kind of gave up for a few years since I'd had no luck, but now that you're here I'm inspired to start trying again. I'm going to cram as many unmated wolves into this function as I possibly can to maximize everyone's chances."

"Sounds strategic. Good luck."

"Thanks! Well, we've got lots to do," she said with what seemed like real pleasure as she dragged me off to a nightmare of check lists and idea boards.

I was then subjected to a ton of choices that I did not really care about and they made me uncomfortable because I was not accustomed to sharing my opinions. Mrs. Lyndon never liked it when I spoke my mind and like all other situations I had learned to cast my eyes down and say nothing.

Megan was having none of that, I discovered to my absolute dismay. She wanted nothing but my enthusiasm so I forced myself to pretend to care to get her off my back.

"Do you really not like doing this at all?" she finally asked, fixing me with a fierce stare that made me want to retreat to the safety of anywhere but here.

"No," I lied quickly.

She rolled her eyes. "Amber, you're not my subordinate. You're our future luna. If anything, you should be the one giving me orders. You don't have to help me with this if you don't want. I was just trying to include you since you're one of us now. We can do something else once I'm finished, or even nothing, if that's what you prefer. I just thought you probably would like something to do. What do you do for fun?"

For fun? Up until I came here, fun had been nothing, and avoiding punishment and reprimand had been my main goal, especially once I had given up on my dreams of escape from them. "I don't know."

"Well, how about this? You take a break if you've had enough of this."

I took the out. "I could use a break."

"So I'll just decide whatever I want?" she prodded.

"Yes. That sounds best."

I fled from the room and her overactive attention and she did not try to stop me.

—————

A couple more days passed and the harvest festival arrived. I didn't want to be anywhere surrounded by wolves, so I prepared for it with the same amount of enthusiasm that I had given the hunter rallies.

Unlike the rallies, this whole affair started just before noon and stretched late into the night. My strategy was to go and simply stay in the background as much as possible, and then leave as soon as I could.

There was a feast that began the whole thing, and I was stuck at the alpha's table by the seemingly well-meaning female named Sarah. No one pushed me to sit beside him, though, but I could feel speculative gazes on me like I had never experienced before. Their eyes burned into me, and I couldn't help but try to make myself as small as possible as if they would not be able to see me.

As the meal progressed, at least the crowd seemed to get sidetracked by their own conversations rather than the hunter in their midst. Things got even better once it was over and they moved off to socialize with people they hadn't been sitting beside, or to watch the games.

I gravitated towards the games that had been set up for the children rather than the ones the adults were playing. I remembered such things from my childhood with the hunters, although I had never participated for fear of doing something wrong. Even by that point the Lyndons had already gotten in my head, setting me apart and below everyone else, afraid to make any move in case it was a mistake.

Here, in spite of all the stares and whispers, no one was shoving me down or criticizing me for my mere existence now that their alpha had gotten it in his head that I was his mate. I was confident I could manage here quietly for the remaining weeks, and it would actually be easier than in my previous circumstances. With a little patience, I would find out what freedom tasted like.

It hit me rather suddenly that I trusted him to keep his word about releasing me in spite of everything. I had no reason to really, and it would be terribly painful if he betrayed me and went back on his word.

As if he had sensed that I was thinking about him, he came walking over to me, almost casually, for the first time in days. I glanced at him warily and watched his approach.

"Like the pups' games?" he asked me, such a random topic of conversation he caught me off guard.

"They do look like they're having fun," I replied.

"This part of the day is largely for them," he said.

I watched as the group of children tumbled over each other at play, as if they were puppies. "That's nice," I said. Then I glanced at his chiselled profile. "Are you really going to let me leave in three weeks without a fight?"

He stiffened. "I said I would. If you still want to leave."

"You did," I agreed.

"I'll stand by my word." I couldn't help but see the pain in his eyes and my heart sank. "It's not you, not really, you know? I had given up on ever getting away from the hunters, but I never stopped wanting my freedom." I tried to look helpless while I said it.

"Given up on getting away from the hunters?" he repeated, his voice grim.

I shrugged. "I tried running away a couple of times, but it always got worse after I was caught."

"They wouldn't let you go?"

"Maybe I knew too much. Or they liked having someone to dump on."

His growl made me flinch. He spun me around and stared into my eyes. I tried to look away. "You know I'll never treat you like that, right, Amber? You're mine and I only want to protect you."

"I guess I'm starting to see that," I told him. "But I don't want protection." What I wanted was to go and hide among the other regular humans. I wanted to lose myself so deep in their population, be so unremarkable that no one would ever notice me again.

"It's my instinct."

"And mine is to leave," I said, although the truth was I also seemed to have the opposite instinct trying to drag me towards him. He was undeniably handsome, and I was starting to feel safe with him, most of the time.

"Why?"

"It just is."

He looked sad and I had the most ridiculous urge to get closer to him.

"I don't want to hurt you," I told him, as if words could change what seemed to be the reality.

His expression only looked more pained. "Walk with me?" he asked.

I nodded. I supposed it was the least I could do. We began to walk away from the children's games. A young man began to approach us, but he quickly turned and strode the opposite direction. I glanced at the alpha curiously, but his face was studiously blank.

We watched adults playing their own games, there was a group playing a very rough version of football. I tried my best to ignore how good it felt to have him beside me.

I pretended not to feel my sharp pang of disappointment when he got called away.