Amber

I waited until he was gone and came out cautiously. My chest still felt tight. It wasn't guilt for making him feel so terrible; it was like his disappointment was rebounding onto me.

If this was what the mate thing was about, I wanted no part of it.

I sighed and made my way down to the kitchen and peeked inside. It was empty, so I went to the fridge and looked inside, unsure of what I was allowed to have. There were no boundaries that I could figure out and it made me uneasy. I didn't want to cause problems that could rebound onto me in the future. I sighed.

"What are you going to have?"

Oliver's voice made me jump before I realized that it was not my supposed mate. He sounded a bit like his brother, except my chest didn't give that weird little flutter at the sound of his voice. I spun around and gave him a half-hearted smile. "I don't know."

"Eat whatever you want, they can always replace it later."

This was such a world apart from Mrs. Lyndon's rigid system I could barely take it. Without set rules, how was I supposed to know what to avoid?

"Want a sandwich?" Oliver prodded.

"Sure." He brushed me out of the way and started pulling out ingredients. I stood back cautiously and watched him.

"Turkey?"

"Okay."

"So he told you, huh?"

He could only mean the whole mate disaster. "Yeah."

"Cheddar?"

I nodded. Had anyone ever given me so many options before?

He kept asking me questions and adding things to a sandwich until I finally stopped him. "I need to be able to fit it in my mouth."

Oliver grinned and proceeded to construct a second sandwich. We carried our food and drinks over to the table.

"So, how're you feeling about it?"

I was sure that anything I said would get back to the alpha so I smiled half-heartedly. I didn't want to criticize him or get his hopes up.

Oliver looked across the table at me. "Pressured? Confused? Trapped?"

I gaped at him before remembering to keep my eyes lowered.

"Thought so. Must be a huge thing for a hunter to come to terms with. I mean, weren't you basically raised to destroy us if needed?"

"It was not as open as that. They're raised to keep the peace and maintain supernatural secrecy, and to take out the problematic ones, but that definition can be flexible. And I'm not really a hunter, I was found by them as a baby and was raised by them." No point in keeping it a secret now that the alpha knew.

"Ah. Well, does being human change anything?"

"Not really," I said.

Oliver paused. "Well, I don't want to push you, but I wonder if you know what mates mean to us? There are very few that we can reproduce with easily, and when we find that one, we just bond instinctively. I know you don't feel like you have a choice, but honestly, Devon doesn't have much of one, either. He's already been half in love with you from the moment he killed that bastard who hurt you."

I paused. "Then isn't it better for everyone if I just leave, don't you think? Why should he be forced into something he doesn't actually want?"

"You're beautiful and sweet, I'm sure it's not just the bond. That just speeds up the process, you know?"

I frowned at him.

"Just please, give him a chance and you'll see you could care about him in return."

When I thought about him, all I felt was an aching pain. It was nagging and unpleasant, and I wanted to flee from it more than anything.

But still, I had agreed to stay for two months to get my chance to leave, although I owed him nothing to begin with. "I made an agreement, I'll give him time."

"Good. Maybe don't mention this to him. Devon would—"

"Devon would what?" my supposed mate said from the door of the kitchen.

Oliver grinned shamelessly. "Kill me if he knew I was interfering?"

"Don't you have something you should be doing besides pressuring her?" the alpha asked in a tone rife with displeasure.

Oliver's grin only got wider. "Not particularly."

"You're my beta, Oliver. You've got plenty of work to do, especially since I'm taking the afternoon off."

His smile faded a bit. "Well, as my alpha commands," he said and received a dark look in response. "Later, Amber."

I waved my hand towards him as he left and then forced myself to meet the alpha's eyes. There was something in that stern expression that called for my attention. Moving my eyes down instead, I asked, "Didn't you say I don't have to see you?"

"I did," he agreed solemnly, and my heart sank. I felt like the worst person in the world in that moment.

He moved away towards the exit, and my mouth worked as if of its own mind. "Wait, no. You don't have to leave. If you want."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," I lied. The only thing that I was sure about was that I was terribly conflicted. I wanted to flee and to stay all at once. "I said I'd give you a chance so it's only fair."

Moving like he was afraid of startling me, he took the chair that his brother had vacated. He didn't say anything.

"So, are you disappointed that it's me?" I finally asked him. I focused on my next bite of sandwich.

"No," he said.

"You were pretty furious at me when I first woke up," I prodded, not knowing where this courage to question him came from.

He shrugged. "I wasn't happy my mate was a hunter, truthfully."

I shrugged. It made sense. "I thought you would kill me."

"I would have done that where I found you if I was going to."

In spite of the severity of his words, I smiled, and then I took another bite.

"I wish he were still alive so I could kill him again." Then he looked at me with a concerned expression, as if the idea of him killing Jasper again would upset me.

"I'm just glad he's dead. I guess, thanks for saving me, even if you were only looking for a hostage and information."

"That's just what I said, not why I did it. I wasn't even supposed to be there, but I followed your scent and found him killing you and I just acted. What he would have done to you if I hadn't gotten there in time..." His voice was heavy with anger.

"What were you doing there anyway? Do they have prisoners?" I asked.

"I really shouldn't tell you, Amber."

"Fair enough." It wasn't like I was going to stay so telling me would be a silly risk for him to take.

He was quiet for a long moment. "Could I show you my territory?"

I paused and nodded, wondering what I was getting myself into. I told myself it was strategic to get to know the territory better in case he went back on his word at the end of his chance, but I wasn't really sure that was why. "Okay."

—————

There was something strange about walking around with the alpha. Everywhere we went, people looked at us curiously. "Do they know?" I asked him.

"They don't know, but they are speculating."

I looked around at the werewolves around us and they looked away and pretended that they had not been watching. I groaned a bit. "What are you going to tell them?" I asked in an undertone that was as low as I could get it.

"The truth, unless you don't want me to."

I didn't want him to, but it seemed like they were going to figure out everything anyways. "The truth is fine, I guess."

"You're sure?"

I didn't like how unsure he was and even less that it was my reaction which was causing it. I didn't want to give him false hope, but neither did I want him to suffer. It would have been better if we had never met. I kept thinking about how to deal with him as he showed me the school where the children attended, the training ground, the stores, and basically all the amenities one would expect in any town with a population the size of a large pack. His pleasure during my tour was a more relaxed side of him I hadn't seen before.

We continued on, and he began to show me things that were less practical. I found myself on the edge of a cliff on the north end of his lands.

"It's a natural barrier. I'm glad you didn't try to escape this way."

I smiled a bit at that. "It was pure luck. I had no idea where I was going."

"You might have succeeded in a pack with fewer wolves," he commented.

"Really?" I didn't expect him to talk about it so nonchalantly after how upset he had first been at the suggestion.

"Yes. There were too many wolves out, one would eventually pick up your scent. What you did was dangerous, our control is weaker over our wolves around the full moon than at other times. You could have been killed."

"I knew that," I told him.

"Then why did you leave the safety of the pack house?"

"I wanted to be free and I decided it was worth the risk." It sounded silly when I said it out loud, but it was the truth. The look it put on his face stabbed me with the increasingly familiar pain for hurting him again, so I spoke quickly. "Maybe we could be, you know, friends?" I hadn't really had friends in the past, and I didn't know how they worked, but maybe that might satisfy him, right?

Apparently not. "Friends." It did not take much to understand the deep discontent he could not quite hide from his tone. I had the strangest urge to embrace him, but surely that would only make things worse.

I forcibly focused my attention on the valley beyond us to distract him. "So is that your land, too, Alpha?"

"Yes, although we don't guard it as well as the other borders since this is a natural defense. And you can just call me Devon."

"Alright," I agreed, although I really did not want to call him by his name. Except maybe I did?

The conversation fell silent and terribly awkward, and under that unease thrummed a different sort of tension that made me want to throw all my grand ideas of getting away to the four winds.

The realization was sudden. I could be as easily trapped here by my own half of this insane bond as by physical restraint. I needed to stay away from him, promise or no promise.

"I'm tired," I lied. If I didn't put distance between us I might just do something stupid like try to kiss him myself.

Like he knew what was in my head, he got closer to me. "Very well, Amber."

My brain was doing ridiculous things like demanding that I close the rest of the distance between us, and he seemed to know what I was thinking.

"Let me kiss you," he said.

"No," I said against my own inclinations.

"Amber, I—"

"Are you going to force me, like you tried to mark me?"

He flinched at my cruel words, but he gave me space. "Are you going to hold that against me forever?"

"It's been one day."

"And I didn't do it against every inclination of my wolf. Do I get no credit for that?"

Yes, I could sympathize with his struggle. "No."

His chuckle was harsh. "Then I'll take you back to the house."

I followed him as I got my way feeling all too entirely disappointed.