E: "Okay, Aeryn. So there are some things you need to know and do before you meet my dad."

A: "Sure."

E: "He won't want you to talk much. He believes women are here to look pretty and make life easier. You won't have any issues with the looking pretty bit, but I have a feeling you'll have difficulty holding your tongue."

A: "I-"

E: "He'll probably make misogynistic jokes and he'll expect you to either smile or laugh quietly. God, I feel like such an asshole telling you to do this."

A: "He's the asshole, not you."

E: "Thanks for agreeing to play my, um, my girlfriend for this."

A: "Well, when I offered I didn't expect I'd actually have to meet him."

E: "Yeah, I was hoping neither of us would have to go near him honestly."

A: "Okay, so I'm going to come out of the bathroom now and I need you to tell me whether I look nice enough for your you and your dad. I put on the dress you asked me to wear but I'm not sure it fits properly."

E: "Finally, you've been taking ages to-"

A: "Eli?"

E: "..."

A: "You're staring at me and it's worrying. Does it really look that bad?"

E: "NO! It - you look so...you look really beautiful, Aeryn."

A: "I - um, thank you."

E: "Aww, you're blushing!"

A: "Shut up!"

E: "We should probably hold hands."

A: "What?"

E: "When we see my dad, I mean! Is that okay?"

A: "Yes! I mean, yeah, sure."

E: "Smooth. Okay, he'll be here in a minute so maybe we should start now?"

A: "Yeah, that's fine!"

E: "Your hands are sweaty."

A: "So are yours, Eli."

E: "That backfired."

A: "You're an idiot."

E: "But you love me anyway."

A: "If you say so."