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heart attack on the carpet

"robert?" haley picked up the phone to answer her manager as she and theo took finn and his boyfriend to the airport early in the morning. edvin's show just got renewed for a second season, and finn wanted to tag along before he had to go to new york for the met in september. her brother was quite clingy. she made sure to take edvin aside the night before and whispered that he should not at any cost feel obligated to drag finn along if he didn't want him there, but bless his soul, the dude really told her that it was fine. with finn and ed gone, haley would have the house to herself. the heartbreaking thing was that no one trusted her enough to leave her there alone, so cole decided to move in.

that was until she received an email from greta asking if you're going to new york anytime soon? and are you alright to meet up with me and nicole holofcener, the scriptwriter? so of course, haley agreed. but someone, a person that she really wanted to avoid, happened to reside in that same city. and she knew that heading to new york meant attending the met gala, which he also happened to be invited to.

"hey kiddo. met gala fitting in a week, you headed to new york anytime soon?" asked robert. haley heard him rummaging through a bunch of papers and cursing one of the junior assistants under his breath.

"i have a therapist appointment at eleven," she told him as theo drove. "and... i don't want to go to the met anymore. i think i have to cancel."

"what?!" finn sprung up from ed's shoulder in the backseat. everyone thought he was sleeping this whole time, but he was probably just trying to eavesdrop on the conversations haley had with theo. "you promised you'd come with me, i don't wanna go alone!" he protested.

haley sighed. "finn. do i look like i can walk down that blood red carpet without throwing up on the spot? no. in conclusion, i will not be-"

"you're not going to the met gala?" robert's voice cut through. "we've been planning your outfit for months, haley." he sounded like a disappointed parent, and she hated to let him down.

"rob... listen, i'd love to go. really, i want to. but i don't think i can right now," she began.

"i appreciate your honesty, honey, but don't you have a movie coming up?" he sounded dismissive, like he was only half paying attention. she was there when he did it to other calls, and could tell he was doing it with her. so she tried to explain as patiently as she could to her somewhat insensitive manager how she did not want to go.

"it's hard, okay? i'm trying, hard not to regret what i'm doing right now. but i'm really tired robert, and i don't think i can fulfill all our commitments for the year." she tried to keep a steady voice, but didn't succeed. haley heard robert's sharp inhale from the other end of the line. "i'm flying out to new york in a week," she conceded. "i'll try to make time for the fitting then, i guess. but robert," she began. "i don't really want to see timothée."

"you don't have to!" he said, almost immediately. "do you know how many people are at the met? too many to count. it'll be easy to avoid him, i promise."

"but what if i have a heart attack on the carpet? i'll have to be wheeled out in an ambulance and just ruin the whole thing!"

"yes, i can already imagine the headlines," her brother said drily.

"fire me if that happens, which it won't, and get to your therapy session because you're gonna need it for the upcoming weeks ahead." robert instructed. "everything's gonna be fine."

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edvin was right.

haley's last, in-person therapy session in LA was an emotional rollercoaster, to say the least. thank god for charlie, he was so patient and just listened there, even when she was too choked up to say anything. their session was supposed to have lasted an forty-five minutes like last time, but it stretched to two.

haley was never much of a crier. while other girls at school would boast about how they cried to sleep over their grades to make themselves seem quirky, she would sit there listening, pretending she believed them because she didn't have that problem. instead, she realized over the years that she'd cry more when talking about her feelings, mainly to her mom. she was strict, but was always there to listen to haley, so when she'd just go up to her to tell her something, she'd make sure the two of them sat down properly to have a good talk about it. she actually used to jokingly scold haley when she'd cry during those conversations. "why're you crying? i'm not making you cry!" her mom would say. "i don't know," the daughter would blubber back, laughing.

so haley began to tell him about what happened after her parents' death, when she began to drown herself with medical work. how the days seemed to blend into one big ocean of stress, and how she looked at the future with more uncertainty than she ever did in her life. then she told him about how she and alex first met, a few months before her parents passed in the late october of 2018.

i sat down at the cafeteria after a fifteen hour shift since i was lazy to make food at home. it was getting late and i was starting to get into my mac and cheese when i looked up as a guy approached me with his tray.

"hey there, do you mind if i join you?" he asked. i found that a bit odd, considering that the area was mostly empty. why didn't he just get a whole table to himself? honestly, i just wanted to sleep. also, i didn't like the self-assured, confident vibe that he gave off.

"sorry," i began slowly, "but i kinda do." he raised his eyebrows. apparently, that wasn't the answer he expected. "sorry, it's just that i had a fifteen hour shift today, and i have an early appointment tomorrow, and i'm really tired and want to finish this so i can go home as soon as possible." i rambled.

"that's alright." before leaving, he stuck out his hand for me to shake. i took it. "you new here? i haven't seen you around before."

he grinned. "i'm from the opposite wing, got moved here a few weeks ago," he explained. "friends told me the food here was better. i'm alex, by the way."

"i'm haley." i told him.

"after a while, he got... abusive." haley began. "he'd get mad easily, you know? and occasionally grab me by the arm with his iron grip. i'd tell him to stop, but..." she trailed off.

"yeah?"

"yeah. the last straw was when, well, i had a feeling he was seeing someone else, see. i was just too scared to bring it up, but one day, we were at home, and he had to use the bathroom. his phone was left there out in the open, and- i know it's bad to check their messages, so i didn't- but it lit up because of this new message." she began. "and usually, he'd ask me to tell him who the texter was, though in those cases it would be banks or gas station deals or promos or something, but this time it had a name. so i knew he must know the person, right?"

charlie nodded slowly, rocking back on his seat.

"well, i checked it. because how should i know it's some chick he's two timing me with? and the message read something gross but it clearly implied that he did things... with her. and he caught me moving back after staring at his phone, so he got mad at me." haley fidgeted uncomfortably.

"take your time," her therapist urged. "we'll do it little by little." she shook her head at what charlie said, telling him that she was going to new york in a week and wouldn't be able to have any sessions. "you can call me," he offered.

but haley wanted to get everything off her chest, so she continued her narrative. "i suppose he knew that we were gonna end things anyways, so he just shoved me to the floor and said... bad things to me, and i'm pretty sure he was planning to use me right then before we'd break things off. and i was kicking and screaming but he had me pinned, he had the build of a football player, you know? thank god cole came into the house quietly, since we were about to film a video that day. i think i forgot to let alex know, so he was caught a bit off-guard when he was being punched by someone who wasn't me. we threw stuff at him and called the police, and i haven't talked to him since."

"but that isn't all to it, is there?" charlie asked. he leaned forward in his seat, eager to hear more.

she shook her head wistfully. "i met timothée almost a year after we broke up."

"as in..."

"timothée chalamet, you are correct." she made a face. "met through mutual friends, since he's acted with my friends aurora and zendaya before. and he stayed over at my place and quarantined there for a week, then we grew close." haley explained. "but then i broke up with him for no reason and he doesn't wanna talk to me so everything's gone to shit!" she burst out, and giggled.

"alright, i think that's enough for today," charlie said gently, and helped her out the door.

off,, idk if this is how therapy sessions go. screw it.

, i dedicate this chapter to that one person who added this fic to

their "hasn't updated in a while" reading list. i did not take offense,

instead, i considered it a call to action. sorry if it sucks,

it'll get better soon, I PROMISE.

, below is a lovely gif that the even more lovely aryn made.

i love it w all my heart and you will see it at the bottom of

every chapter from now on.

I MISS YOU, I'M SORRY