Please listen to this instrumental above. It's so close to my heart.

Good luck!

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I stood lost in my thoughts. I had no clue what to do next when a hand on my shoulder broke my trance and I backed away in astonishment, placing my hand over my chest.

"Hey! It's just me, You okay? You look like you saw a ghost," Blake frowned handing me my hot chocolate.

Wiping the sweat on my forehead I had wiped my tears before he'd see and shook my head even though it was below 0°C but his expressions were like he knew I cried but he didn't ask.

"You okay?" He asked and I just nodded looking anywhere but to him before took a sip of my hot chocolate and almost moaned as it warmed my chest.

"Told you it'll make you feel good. Sasha loves hot chocolate, I really can't wait to meet her," Smiling like a lovestruck guy he sighed as smoke escaped his mouth.

Love.

Crazy, stupid......Love.

I looked behind to where me and aunt were sitting only to find no one. I wanted to ask Blake everything she told me but something tied my tongue roughly. Something reassured me that I'd have my answers soon.

I had a really bad feeling about today but what weird was, it was comforting not disturbing. If I thought about my life, was anything ever usual?

Never.

"Let's go," He cheered and with that we left for the airport.

We rode in silence as the feeling grew more and more. My heartbeat raced as my body sweat due to hyperventilating or maybe I was overthinking. I was so lost that I didn't notice Blake was on call with someone.

"-- hmm yeah okay." Cutting off the call he put his phone back in his coat's pocket and gestured driver to stop by the side.

Realization fell upon me as I looked around the empty road with the echo of lonely breeze engulfing my empty soul as I lowered the glass of the window to scrutinize the surrounding.

"Why are we here? This isn't the way to airport Blake," I queried perplexedly still looking outside. There was no one around on this side.

"Why don't you step off and I'll tell you wee-one," Smiling he got off, as I too.

Walking around the car I followed him like a lost puppy as I stepped down the stairs which lead to this frozen beautiful lake with crystal sheath of ice over it and a black fence in defence with brown wooden bench to relax under the shed of trees adored with sakura flying and covered with dew heavily. The lake was dead and resting with the shadows of plain white sky over it.

He stood straight, leaned against the railing and closed his eyes before took a deep breathe as I did too and it felt like I was in heaven. The feeling was indescribable. Nature always calmed me down.

"When I asked you, did you take everything, Why did you lie?"

Opening my eyes to his voice I frowned. "What? I have everything--

"Do you have your heart with you right now?" He asked turning to me.

Considering for a minute, my heart clenched at the feeling that just went through me. "I have-

"Lie, I'm an agent Aria, I detect lie in seconds. Your heart isn't here," Pinning his finger over where my heart was he declared.

"What are you trying to proof?" I growled. I never liked when anyone pinpoint these things other than someone I love.

"Wait here, you'll know," Walking around me not saying anything more, he started to walk to the car but I held his hand and stopped him.

He couldn't leave me here alone.

"Where are you going? Why are we here Blake?" I asked desperately turning around to him as I felt nervous suddenly.

Why did he bring me here?

"I'm going on a round the town but I'll be near, don't worry, I'll pick you up when it's time. Till then try to talk things out before you regret Aria."

Talk? To whom?

I stood there trying to comprehend his saying as I watched him leaving in the car. The cold air rang in my ear as I puffed out air and helplessly walked to the fence and closed my eyes again.

There were so many things on my mind. I'd been restless all my life that it scared me what it'd be like when I'd be relax once, mentally and physically.

Leaving dad and my friends behind, leaving this country, leaving aunt Jane who was like my mother gave me a shudder, leaving my memories which mostly weren't pleasant, leaving beth behind. I visited her grave yesterday and it felt like she was listening each and every word I had recite to her.

Minutes passed in tranquility as I sneezed couple of times in this harsh cold before a soft voice called me out.

"Aria?"

Scrunching my nose, eyes jerk opened before I sluggishly turned around and came face to face with Ethan. His eyes were swollen blood shot as his attire was a sweat shirt and a gray trouser. Hair all messed up like my inner self. He looked like he got hit by a truck or something.

Wrecked.

Just then the heaven showered us with it's gift and it started snowing. It danced like a ballet in the air with the beautiful melody of breeze, arising some hope in me.

Of course, New York and it's surprises.

But it made me furious how Blake ditched me here in the middle of nowhere with flu. He planned this meet up without my concern. I turned to leave but he dropped to his knees and his hand caught my arm with his pleading breaking voice stopped me again.

"I beg you Aria. Just listen to me this once. I swear I won't ask anything then. Just give me one chance," Looking at him over my shoulder I glared down at him as he sat there hopelessly shattering apart. "Please."

I had no idea why I was angry even I knew the truth now. As he realized I was waiting, he composed his self still on the cold hard ground under the snowy veil of love.

"Didn't I give you enough? I begged you to trust me and you chose not to and why are you like this? Shouldn't you be enjoying after you broke me like you wanted but you seems kind of fearful," I taunted as I freed my arm.

Chuckling bitterly. "You can still read me like an open book," Looking at ground he sighed as tears fell and drowned in ice.."I was never brave Aria. I have always been surrounded with fears. Fear of losing mom since the da-y dad started assaulting her than when I met you, I f-ound myself in you but now I have one more fear....Fear of losi-ng you."

He answered stuttering as tears streamed from his bloodshot eyes.

"Fear of losing me? Why? I'm just a girl who you used and threw away-

"I didn't use you Aria!. I never played with your feelings. I would kill myself for my behavior that night," He growled as a sob came out with it.

"You want me to believe you?"

"You have to Aria. I was hopeless. I couldn't do anything. Believe me. I would never ever do that. It was my father!!"

My jaw hurt as I held back my hot tears. At this point he was crying bending to ground. Somehow I knew it was all truth. Aunt Jane would never lie. Ethan no doubt was sensitive for his loved ones. People mattered to him and no one could know this better than me.

"Your father is the same person who killed beth, you know that right? Who planned to kill me," Gritting my teeth, I said as my eyes teared up furiously.

"I do, I knew since homecoming Aria. He isn't a saint but a criminal. He knew how to play this game and he chose my weakness Aria. He hurt mom and threatened with you," Meeting my eyes, I bit my lip so hard to not cry that it'd bleed.

I recognized his father after watching the clip again and again later that night and I wasn't surprised a bit.

Monsters were real.

"In all this, did you ever once thought about me?" I shook my head in pain and disbelief as I looked down at him with teary eyes. "Do you know how I felt every night Ethan? It was horrible to even close my eyes, cause every time I did, I saw creeps blaming me."

"I'm sorry Aria but I had to-

"WHY THE HELL YOU HAD-

"HE COULD HAVE SHOOT YOU THEN ARIA! YOU WERE ON HIS POINT," My breathe hitched as I stumbled back as he confessed loudly.

This fight of our confession made me breathe less. Even we weren't in a room, it was suffocating that I choked so badly and curled my freezing hand in fist it on my chest.

"That night... I didn't call you to tell you all those things Aria but I wanted to tell you the truth. Just before you came out dad came as if he knew my plan, I was being watched. Than you came, hugged me and it hurt me here in my heart to not hug you back. It broke me the same way it did to you. If I had said anything, they would have shot you right then without thinking Aria. I know my dad and I knew he'd done that."

My tears were hot grazed my skin with such intensity that my knees felt weak as I crouched down infront him, folded my legs beneath me somehow and composed myself cause I knew my breaking point was coming.

He raised his head as he sensed me near him and shivered. "I'm so sorry-

I wrapped my arm around his shivering self. "Ssh! you don't have to say anything Ethan, I know everything. I just wished you could've tell me..." I trailed off, hiccuped crying.

Shaking his head he dropped it, not meeting my gaze. "I couldn't Aria. It wasn't as easy as you think. It was suddenly too much for me but now I regret. Never thought that one day I'd lose you Aria. I was so alone." He whispered lowly when I hugged him tight as I broke in tears with him.

He was alone, where I had dad, Blake, my friends. Shutting my eyes tight I cried my eyes out. Why couldn't I see this helpless boy, who wanted nothing but protect his loved ones?

And he hugged me back. His face was hidden in the crook of my neck and his tears slid on my skin. We were covered with snow and it was blood freezing cold but our inner selves were so dead that it didn't hurt nor we felt. Even it was snowing, it had the audacity to melt our hatred into affection. Pulling back I cupped his cheek and held his face up tightly.

"Ethan," He didn't look at me but down. "Ethan look at me."

Looking at me with his swollen eyes, his cold blue-gray frozen hard orbs were finally melting with his courage, revealing his real self."I'm so sorry Aria. Although I know I'm in no position to apologize as I have badly hurt you but believe me your sweet behavior towards me was making me more guilty and scared me. The night of homecoming I knew I lost you that's why I wanted to tell-.... But they were watching, his men. I swear on mom, if I'd have chased you, everything would have gone--

He was shivering as he wasn't in any coat or jacket so I removed my coat and covered him. "Why didn't you wear something warm idiot. You're still so stupid."

As he got a bit stable I gulped.

"Ethan, I know how big of an asshole that monster is and I'm sure he will face the consequences soon," As I sighed, I kissed his tears with purity. "I met aunt Jane before coming here. I saw her bruises. She told me everything but not completely and I know she will never lie, so I believe you Ethan."

Engulfing me in his empty embrace, my warmth comforted him and he broke down completely. All the time we were there he told me about blue diary and I continued to caressed his head. He was back.

"Give me one last chance to redeem myself Aria," He rushed in saying. My lips were sealed as I gulped before sat straight infront of him.

How? After all this could I?

"I understand what you did Ethan even you didn't mean to hurt but you've caused some serious damaged to me that is beyond repair Ethan," I whispered to him as we sat on the ground sniffing silently to each other.

"I can't forgive myself for it Aria. I had no time to think. I'm sorry," He sighed closing his eyes and rested his forehead on my shoulder.

"I can totally understand but the scars are there Ethan and there's nothing that can heal them. Look around ourselves Ethan. Not only us but so many people got hurt because of us unknowingly. I just need time, for myself. That's all I'm asking for. Can't you give me that?" As I requested he looked me in the eyes with fear when he sensed the end.

End of us.

Closure...

"No-

"I have to go Ethan-" He shook his head vigorously. "You made me lose myself and I can't be here where I lost my everything. For all I know I have to find myself again and I can only do this with my broken self. We can't take this further Ethan."

"We'll find something-

"We can't, believe me we can't. Trust me when I say there's a part of me still hate you to the core," Saying that I closed my eyes as he caressed my cheek with the back of his stiff hand.

"Please don't leave me Aria. What'll I do alone," He begged just like I wanted on his knees and I smiled to his behavior before spoke. "You will find yourself love. Somewhere in this chaos and darkness, you've lost yourself too."

A loud honk of car made us turn our head to it and saw Blake stood outside leaning against it, arms folded over his chest, all proud.

Turning to Ethan I grinned before place a soft kiss on his forehead as my lips lingered there for a while then his nose and his mouth before smiled sadly resting my head against his.

"I have to go now Ethan, remember, Scars Of Regret will always be with us to remind us what we've been through and with that you'll know, that not talking things out could lead to where we are now."

More tears dwelled in his eyes. "But you've to come back please. Don't go for ever."

Frowning amusedly I smirked. "I will, it'll take some time to heal but who said I wouldn't?"

Now this time he frowned. "I went to your home where I found everyone and Leo said you were leaving and never coming back-- that bastard-

"Hey! No cursing...he is my friend," I hit him on his shoulder.

"Sorry sorry.....by the way you look cute with that red nose," He laughed and just then I sneezed loudly making him threw his head back and laugh his whole heart out.

"Hey!" I pushed him down and sat on his lap as he laid there laughing. Time paused as then I heard heartbeat in my ears which wasn't mine and it was thumping crazily as my hand was on his chest.

"I love you Aria, I forever will." He sighed and sobered up, tucking my hair behind my ear as we sat up. The snow resting his hair made him look so funny but I didn't answer to his feeling and he noticed that but didn't argue.

"Hmm...I should go now. Take care of yourself and aunt Ethan. Just hope time heals our souls. When I'll comeback we'll meet exactly where we first met," Standing up I didn't hug nor kissed anymore. I just walked backwards as the snow fell heavily before turned back around and left him in the cold just like he did once to me.

This cold would tell him my feelings, my emotions and how I felt that night or I wish it would. That day I left with heavy heart but no burden on my mind cause I had no regrets. All I had were Scars Of Regrets.

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