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I closed the book that I'd been reading for past twenty minutes and put it on the side table. Books made me think about a lot of things in a bright way.

I turned off the lamp and laid down on my bed with duvet covering my body.

What happened yesterday in janitor's closet, I decided to fight with my fear. The moon wasn't here to accompany me so the room was pitch black. I silently counted to ten but before it could be ten seconds, I turned on the Lamp again.

Not from today I thought.

It was Saturday night. Just came back from cafe. Lara wasn't there cause of her dad's illness so I had double work load even though Finn helped a lot.

I prayed for her dad to get well soon.

Saturdays used to be like full of fun. Beth and Gwen used to come home for staying over. We used to have a blast.

Netflix with romantic movies, we all sobbing over heartbreaking moments, enjoying feast of snacks, weird dance movies on music.

Our late nights gossips about patch ups and break ups. I was really missing those all times. I changed my side so now my back was towards the window.

Dad used to stay nights over his lab back then too.

Blake had been very busy lately that we couldn't get a chance to speak to each other. Sometimes even when you had everyone, family, friends you could still feel vacant or worthless.

Mom and I had more than just a mother-daughter relation. She was the woman you look up to and aspired to be. She always put everyone’s needs before her own.

She was my first friend ever. She never judged me for anything. She taught me the most prime thing; which was I just get stumbled out of the track sometimes.

God I wish mom would be here. Maybe she could help me with my issues. She somehow always had a way to get out of the maze. Every time her advices turned out to be the lost piece of puzzle.

I closed my eyes as cold wind rushed through the window and my tired body fell in some dreamland.

I kept walking around, feet stumbling on the ground. I was confused but I didn't stop. The surrounding was all white, dipped in some kind of shimmer.

There was this beautiful lake with water glinted like pearl under heaven-leaked beam on my left and pine trees with a whiff of mint wafted to my nose.

It was an enchanting woodland where one could get absorbed by it's beauty. An enthralling, mellow sound was resonating with lilies swaying with the harmony of harp on my right.

Cherry blossom was enhancing the beautiful scenario. A bench was there under the shadow of sakura flying over it and resting to the ground.

A lady in white floral dress, A slender body with an exquisite skin was sitting there. Her long glossy, jet-black hairs were wavering around in air.

It was Mom

"MOM!" I rushed towards her in felicity but fell on my knees out of nowhere. It didn't scratch or bleed an inch. This place was some kind of faerie.

I stood up and started scampering towards her again like a baby.

She turned her head to me and smiled slightly before engulfed my body in her arms. Her vanilla scent filled my nose, comforted me to the core. It was beyond any artificial deodorant.

She then caressed my hair and made me sit beside her infront of the lake which was peaceful and statue still. The scene was glorious that I had a lightning bolt moment.

"Mom you're alive, come back we miss you, nothing is like before please!" I cried with tears and blurted out everything to which she chuckled softly. I raised my head up to her with confused expressions.

"Why are you laughing?" She smiled and put some loose strands of my hair behind my ear.

"I would've comeback if it was all this easy, Aria. Things can't be like the way you wanted them to be all the time dear."

I shook my head furiously, denying her excuse.

"But I can't live without you, my life has became so hard Mom, If you can't come than I'm staying here with you", She wiped my tears, and held me close as I rested my head on her shoulder.

"If you'll lose your hope how will you be one for someone? for your dad Aria. You just have to be strong enough for the light inside yourself to be alive and guide you which died because you lost hope baby," I looked up at her with glistened eyes and scrunched my nose.

"Remember when you used to skate with beth and you both were beginners. You used to get hurt a lot sweety. But then one day you came back home all angry, threw away your skates in the lounge, cause you were keep falling down?"

Her words took me back when I was eight years old and that was exactly what happened. I cried so hard cause skating was my passion and I love doing it but couldn't get through it.

She raised her brows as a gesture for me to continue it. I took a deep breathe before starting.

"Then you came in my room and I was crying so hard. You hugged me tight for a while and said that falling down and getting hurt is absolutely fine," I hiccupped. "You said that's how we learn about things we are passionate about, not give up easily."

She nodded and hummed in response. Her voice was so melodious. "Then are you still that passionate about Skating?"

I paused and thought about it. I had love it since very young age but never gave up. Beth loved it just like me and the fact that I have no guilt on me.

.

I got the answers. But then she started to vanish away in thin air. "I'm always here Aria, call my name with your heart and I'll be there for you sweety. You're my strong girl," She pointing my finger at my own heart.

"And also your dad is getting old, take care of him Arie," With that she held me tight and sang her lullaby.

It was something more than peaceful that moment. If it was a dream than I didn't want to wake up ever from it.

I woke up with a jerk and the word mom left my mouth with a gasp. It was a dream. No it couldn't be. I looked around with false hope for her. But it was too real to be not a reality. My hands touched my cheek to feel them wet.

Was I crying?

The scent and the feeling was still snugging my chest as if my body was still safely wrapped in mom's arms. I sighed wistfully and ran my hands through my face, wiped my tears before stood up and got ready.

It was Sunday today but there was no excited feeling about it. You know when you would get to have a family breakfast or spent some time with them.

I just wore a simple white t-shirt and black trouser, no mood to get proper dressed. There was no one here to see my glammed up neither I had any plans to go out.

As I stepped slowly down the stairs, the clicked sound echoed and the main gate creaked open before It was closed with a thud sound.

Who would robber a house in daylight?

I secretly peaked from the upstairs. It was dad. He locked the door and stepped in. I sighed in relief and finally went down.

"You're up early on Sunday," He hugged me and kiss the top of my head. I really wanna tell him about mom and my decision.

"You scared me dad, I thought it was a burglar but it was stupid to think that someone would do this in daylight," He threw his head back and laughing out loud.

"You go freshen up, I'll make us breakfast," I took his bag from his shoulder and put it aside, before made my way to kitchen.

°°°°°°

I lit a cigarette and put it in my mouth before took a puff and let it out the smoke in air. I took out my phone and saw that it was showing a voice mail.

I opened it and put it on the loudspeaker.

"Hey Ethan what's up buddy?, you might be busy that's why I'm leaving you a voice mail. I'm coming next month, see you then," The voice said in an exciting way through the phone before it got ended.

I sighed and took a last puff before tossed it somewhere out from the balcony.

I was thinking about joining the tournament. It had been my passion for so long. Let's see what tomorrow would bring.

I told dad about my dream and mom, that how I saw her, how she helped me, how she said to help him cause he was getting weak to which he chuckled.

We finished dinner as I was waiting to tell him the good news about joining again. He looked up at me probably sensed my different excited body language.

"What is it?" He asked to which I smiled to him and shifted in my chair a little.

"I um...decided to join the tournament again," Looking astonished by the news, he tapped his mouth with the napkin.

"That's so great Aria!, I knew you would make a right decision," Putting his hand on mine, he smiled ear to ear to him.

I hope there would still a place for me in team. Just the thought of going back made me feel positive.

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