he way Kino looks at me takes me right back to when we were kids. It's the same look he'd wear when our parents argued, brokenness mixed with surprise. Every time I'd see it, my heart would shatter into little pieces, and I'd take his hand and lead him upstairs, into my bedroom. I'd close the door behind us, turn up my music to drown out the yelling, and I'd sit against the door, him in my arms, and I'd cover his ear with his hands. I'd wanted to protect him from the heartache of life, and now I'm the reason for his.

The second I step forward, he takes a step back. Without a word, he shakes his head, narrows his eyes, and pushes his way through the crowd.

"Kino, wait!" I shout after him. Bodies block the way as I push through them to get to him. He's already out the door, crossing the lawn and heading down the street as I hurry to catch up with him.

"Max, wait," Alyssa says. She grabs my hand, trying to get me to stop. "He probably wants to be alone right now. Just give him some time."

"He's upset and walking the streets at night," I say, shrugging her off, "that's not a good combination. Stay here with Khalil. I'll be back in a little while."

She says something, but I don't hear what. I take off as fast as I can, pounding the sidewalk in a bid to catch up. He looks behind him and hears me coming before darting through the park.

My heart is pounding as I follow. We used to come here all the time as kids, and usually, the thought of this place brings back good memories, but right now it's dark, covered in shadows like everything's been flipped upside down.

He keeps on running, but I close the last stretch between us and throw myself at him, sending us both to the ground. He tries to shrug me off, but Kino has the upper body strength of a ten-year-old.

"Get off me," he growls, punching my chest, "get off me."

"Not until you calm down," I growl back.

"I mean it, Max. Let me go." He's still lashing out, but I duck and dodge his hits before pinning down his arms. "You better be planning to keep me like this all night," he says, "because the second I get free, I'm beating the hell out of you." His chest is rising and falling, his heart no doubt pounding as fast as mine. It's been years since we've had a physical altercation, but I can tell he wants to hurt me.

I stare at him for a moment before letting him up. "Fine, do it. I'll give you a free hit." I get to my feet as he does the same, and the pair of us stare at each other. "Come on," I say, tilting my head. "Free jab. I won't hit back."

"You think that's what's going to fix this?" he asks. "You really are just like Dad."

His comment stings. I take a step closer, ignoring the slight little lump in my throat. "You're right, it won't, but I deserve it."

He shakes his head. There's a moment in his eyes where he's contemplating it, but fighting isn't Kino. It's Dad, and it's me, but it's not him. "Forget it, I'm not hitting you."

"Hit me, Kino." I grab him by the front of his t-shirt, pulling him closer. "Do it." Maybe if he hits hard enough, I'll stop feeling so guilty.

"Get off me," he says, shoving me back, and I stumble an inch. His eyes darken. For a moment it's silent, but I can see his thoughts are working overdrive. He's always been the thinker, the good one; he should have got the girl, not me.

"I hate you," he says, "you know that?"

This stings even more than his last comment. "You don't mean that."

"Yes," he says, "I do." He takes a step closer, and I've never seen him so pissed before. "You were the one person I thought had my back. Isn't that what you always told me? We're brothers, that means I'll always look out for you. Is this what you meant by looking out for me?"

I look to the sky, which is a strange ink black, because I can't take the hurt in his eyes. "I do have your back."

"No, you don't, because if you did, you wouldn't have done this."

"You can't help who you like, Kino."

"I don't care that you like her," he says in frustration. "I care that you lied to me about it." I open my mouth to protest, but he puts up a finger to stop me. "Don't even tell me you didn't lie, because not telling me is the same thing. You've always acted like you can't stand her, and now I find you two together?"

"I didn't lie," I say, shoving my hands in my pockets. "I couldn't stand her at first."

"And what," he says, looking hurt, "now all of a sudden you like her? When were you going to tell me?"

I run a hand down my jaw. I think I'd prefer him to punch me in the face than have to endure this conversation. "It's complicated."

"Let me uncomplicate it for you," he says, and he starts to walk away. I watch him for a moment, my heart like a drum in my chest. "You know," he says, turning back around, "you just had to do it, didn't you?" He walks toward me again, somehow even angrier than before. "You could have anyone you wanted, you always do, but it had to be her, didn't it? It had to be the one person I've ever liked, who's ever given me the time of day."

I squeeze the bridge of my nose in an attempt to stave off a migraine. "I'm sorry. It just happened, all right? Tell me what I can do to fix this, and I'll do it."

"Here's an idea," Kino says. "Leave Alyssa alone."

My jaw contracts. "I can't do that."

He lets out a humorless laugh. "Do you remember telling me girls like her don't go for guys like us? That we shouldn't mess around with a girl like that? You're a hypocrite, Max, and I can't believe I ever listened to you. Don't speak to me ever again."

He turns and walks off, but as much as I want to follow him, I remember I've pretty much abandoned Alyssa. I clench my jaw, watching him disappear through the trees before I head back to the house. I'm pissed right now, more pissed than I've ever been, and it's at myself more than anything. Kino is right, I've always sworn to love and protect him, but I've ended up doing the opposite.

I stuff my hands in my hoodie, which are now clenched into fists, and push myself through the crowd. It's hard to navigate now that the place is busier, but Alyssa isn't where I left her. I curse and head into the kitchen, where Khalil is busy trying to flirt with some girl.

"Where is she?" I ask.

He doesn't look away from the girl he's grinning at. "Who?"

"Who do you think? Alyssa."

He turns now, sensing something is amiss and frowns. "I don't know, I haven't seen her. What's going on?"

My hands ball into fists again. All I can think of is how Kino had looked when he saw us. It doesn't take a genius to work out that Khalil invited him, though what surprises me is that Kino would actually turn up. "My brother was here," I say. "Do you know anything about that?"

Khalil looks sheepish. "I invited him when you told me Alyssa would be here," he admits. "I knew the guy had a crush and I thought he could shoot his shot. Obviously, it was before I knew you'd brought her here as, you know, a date or whatever."

If I thought I was angry before, I'm on the verge of losing it now. "If you see her, just keep her with you."

He goes to speak, but I'm already gone. I push past people and search every room, but it's like she's disappeared. Grabbing my phone, I send a quick text to see where she is before looking up. There's a crowd of bodies gathered on the landing, but through a gap I see the bathroom door fly open and a red-faced Alyssa stumble out, followed by Ax.

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