here's a second after I open my eyes when I forget where I am. I turn on my side, able to make out the shape of Max's shoulder through the dark. His eyes are closed, his hand tucked tightly beneath his jaw and the pillow. I so badly want to touch him, but I'm scared that I'll wake him.

Despite the drama yesterday, I feel better than I have in weeks. I don't have to pretend to like Justin anymore, I don't have to tiptoe around my parents. And more importantly, I don't have to lie to Max.

The clock on the bedside table reads seven. I'm not tired anymore, and I should really be getting home if I want to be ready in time for school, but I can't bring myself to move. If I had my way, I'd stay locked up in this room forever.

I smile to myself. A few months ago, the thought of being in this gym, let alone in a small, cramped bed with questionable sheets, would have horrified me. I realize now that the place doesn't matter, it's the people you're there with.

I'm about to try to get a few more minutes of sleep when Max pulls me closer, nuzzling my neck with nose. "Hey," he says.

I smile and nuzzle him back. "Hey." He lifts his head, and I notice how tired he looks. "Did you sleep okay?"

A second or two passes before a boyish grin slowly crosses his lips. "No. Don't take this the wrong way, Alyssa, but you snore really bad."

My eyes widen. Granted, I haven't had that many sleepovers with Justin, but he's never once told me I snore. "No, I don't."

"Yeah," Max says, "you do."

I take a moment to process this news. "Do you mean a cute, endearing kind of snore or an overweight sixty-year-old man kind of snore?"

He laughs and says, "The last one. Definitely the last one."

I'm about to hide my face in shame, but he grabs my head to stop me. "You drool, too," he says with a kiss to my jaw.

My mouth falls open. "Okay, now you're just lying."

He laughs and continues to kiss me until I forget my embarrassment. I stroke his back, and we spend the next ten minutes just lying here like nothing else matters.

Maybe it doesn't.

***

he minute I get to school, Tiana notices I can't stop smiling and wants to know why. I've decided to be honest–at least about some things–and tell her I've been training at the gym. She's not quite ready to know about Max, but I can't keep pushing her away. Out of everyone I know, she's the one person I do trust, so why am I treating her like I don't?

"The gym that girl talked about?" Tee asks.

"Maddie, and yeah. She's been helping me train."

"To box?"

"Yes," I say, putting away my things. "To box."

Tiana is silent, and I can practically see the cogs in her mind turning. "But why? Wait–" she pauses to look at me, horrified, "–is it because of what I said about you being the last person to step in a gym? I was just kidding, Liss."

"It's not because of that," I say. "Well, maybe it was at first, but I like training. It's, I don't know, calming, I guess."

Tiana sighs. "As long as you're being careful. I don't want you to get hurt."

"I won't," I say, before adding, "hopefully."

Tiana gives me a look, but before she can say anything, Marnie and some of the girls from gymnastics creep up behind her.

"What are we talking about?" Marnie asks.

"Yeah," Allie says, studying me. It seems her and Marnie have grown closer lately, and now they're always joined at the hip. "Looks like you've got some gossip."

"Private stuff," Tiana says, hooking her arm through mine, and I flash her my brightest smile as we head to class.

Kino seems nervous when I sit by him in English. He asks me how I'm doing and makes light conversation, but I can tell there is something on his mind.

I'm right about something being wrong. The second class is over, he asks if I can meet him after school for a minute so that we can talk somewhere alone. I start to wonder if I've done something wrong, if maybe Max has told him about what happened, and for the rest of the day, I'm on edge.

When school lets out, I tell the girls I'll catch up with them in a minute and go to meet Kino by the football field. He's sat on the bleachers, but he stands up the moment I start to walk over, still looking nervous.

"Hey," I say, hugging him. "Everything okay?"

He nods, and we both take a seat. There's a moment of silence–several, in fact–before he speaks. "How are you doing after the whole Justin thing?"

I shrug and look into the distance. Right on cue, Justin, who is walking toward the parking lot with his friends, looks over. He stops walking, but he's too far away for me to make out his expression.

"Fine," I say. Justin carries on walking, and I feel myself relax. "To be honest, I've hardly given him a second thought."

Kino smiles at his hands and says, "Good. I mean, that's good. He was an asshole."

I laugh. "That we can agree on."

He suddenly grows tense. I watch the way he plays with the string bracelet on his wrist. "Alyssa, I need to ask you something."

"Of course," I say. "What is it?"

He turns to face me. I can see his chest rising and falling beneath his hoody. He takes a deep breath, leans forward a little, and says, "I was wondering if you wanted to go out with me this weekend."

I look at my hands, unable to stomach the hope in his eyes. If I didn't know he had a crush on me, I'd be able to convince myself he just means as friends, but he doesn't. "Kino, I really like that we're friends. I don't want to ruin that friendship."

I bring myself to look at him and wish that I hadn't. His eyes are dark, hurt, and he gets to his feet. "No, it's fine," he says. "I get it. I need to–Max is waiting for me. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Kino, wait," I say, but he's already gone.

I head to the parking lot, where Tee and the others are waiting. I climb into the passenger seat, my stomach still in knots, and we head to the mall to go shopping.

Despite all the chaos, I manage to have fun. I hadn't realized just how much my relationship with Justin had taken over my life, and now that I'm free again, I can finally relax.

We visit what feels like thousands of stores to try on different outfits. Allie buys a hideous green sweater, so we spend the next fifteen minutes telling her she looks like a Christmas tree. On the way out, I spot some cute earrings that are a little too pricey, and Tiana offers to get them for me.

"I'll pay you back," I say, even though I don't know if I can. I have no idea what's going to happen now that there's no Justin or deal. This time next week, I could be forced to leave Riverly.

"Don't be silly," Tiana says. "You've bought me loads of stuff over the years."

At one point, we head to the small canteen to get some food and take up two of the tables outside. For the rest of our meal, we giggle about silly things like we're back in middle school. I should probably be crying, my family is on the verge of bankruptcy, but right now, I can't help but feel that's their mess to deal with, not mine.

I'm in the middle of wolfing down sushi when, to my horror, Kino and Max walk by. Kino nods before avoiding my gaze, and even Max looks like he's debating whether or not to come over.

Marnie follows my gaze and scowls. "God," she says, "haven't they crawled back to Burbank yet? It's bad enough he goes to our school, now they're taking over our mall?"

She says it so loudly, it's impossible for them not to have heard. I want to say something, anything, but I freeze. It's like my two worlds have collided, and what I say next will decide which of them implodes first.

Max decides for me. He takes Kino's arm, and the pair of them walk off before I can say anything. For the rest of lunch, there's this lump in my throat that I can't seem to squash.

What have I done?

Back home, Mom is sat in the kitchen reading a magazine but looks up when I come in. Her eyes soften, and she takes a moment or two to study me. "Look, Alyssa, I know things are awful right now. I know you're unhappy. Your father and I are just trying to find a way out of his mess that doesn't end up with us all suffering in the long run."

I sigh and walk over before giving her a hug. Her arms hug me back, and for a second we just stay like this, two broken, trapped people in a world of Dad's making. Maybe losing everything wouldn't be such a bad thing.

Dad walks in and now and we quickly break apart. Mom stands up, painting on that smile she relies on to face my father. "I've got a Pilates class," she says, grabbing her handbag. "I'll be back later."

Dad nods briefly, then looks at me. I can tell they both feel bad about last night, even if they can't quite show it. He sighs and comes over, squeezing my hand before heading to his office. So, that's that.

I fix myself a snack before heading to the gym for my session with Maddie. It's exactly what I need after the last two days, and we focus on some stretches before recapping the footwork. She spends most of the session showing me a range of different techniques and maneuvers. We never actually make contact, but she teaches me how to duck or dodge to avoid getting hit.

"You're naturally quick," she says when I dodge one of her hits, and I can't help but smile at the praise. I've never been naturally good at anything, not quick, or sporty, or brainy–I've never needed to be.

I start to learn more about Maddie in the process, too. How she moved here from New York to escape her abusive father and forced Hayden to train her so that she'd be ready if her dad came looking. The pair fell in love, and even though she's starting college in the fall while he's staying at the gym, she's certain things will work out. I wish I could feel as certain, wish I could look at the future and just know it will work out, but I don't know that. I'm less certain about my future than ever.

💕

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