I hadn't planned on divulging some of this information just yet but I have a shitty head space so this is how it worked out. Also, I'm unsure if wa[[ has an auto reporting on comments where people curse but if a regular user is doing so please don't. It's rated mature and I curse in my writing. Curse words aren't inherently offensive so if a regular user is reporting those comments please stop.

🔺🔺🔺TRIGGER WARNINGS🔺🔺🔺Blood, Gore, Graphic depictions of violence, and severe mental strain and self-doubt, along with mild self-harm

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Rengoku held you there for a moment more before slowly pulling his arms away and taking a step back. "Thank you for agreeing to the date (Y/n)." His smile was soft and filled with warmth. "You don't have to thank me like I'm doing you a favor. I actually want to go on a date with you." You chided in good nature.

His smile never left; he only brought his hand up to gently cup your face. A blush raced over your cheeks. You were unsure what Rengoku planned on doing but knew that you trusted him.

Just as he imperceptibly began to lean down, a flicker of light caught your eye. "Fuck!" You rushed out, jerking away from Rengoku. "I'm sorry I've got to go," you spewed. You stood on your tiptoes, kissing his cheek, and running off.

Rengoku stood there, surprised, and crushed at your sudden exit. He was reevaluating all of the things he had said and done throughout the night when he realized it. The night. He looked up and saw the sun begin to peak over the horizon.

He felt foolish for not taking the time into consideration. You were probably berating yourself, which he was also in the midst of doing. How could he have let the time get away from him? He knew that when the sun rose your time would come to an end, but it's different when it actually happens.

He forgot that there was no way for the two of you to be together in a normal setting. He couldn't always have you. You were restricted to the night, to only seeing each other at night or in the deepest of shade. He couldn't be with you at all times. The sun, which brought the people around him so much joy, would kill you.

The one thing that brought those around him real peace would be the cause of your death. What would his father think? His father would kill you if you ever met. Shinjiro didn't even know about Nezuko, much less you, a would-be high-ranking demon.

What had Rengoku inadvertently gotten himself into? How had he gained romantic feelings for a demon? You were so human; he'd almost forgotten that you were meant to eat humans. But you hadn't been attracted to Sanemi's blood, just as Nezuko hadn't.

But how was he supposed to hope and trust that? Nezuko was, somehow, something different. Ubuyashiki had sanctioned Nezuko's life, however, you were something completely different as no one knew you before you were a demon. You were hundreds of years old, plenty of time to learn how to perfectly manipulate someone. You were completely sentient, Nezuko couldn't speak, yet you could. Which meant you could have been able to manipulate him. He sat down, knowing that his legs couldn't handle the torrent of conflicting emotions going through him. "Why do I feel like this?" He garbled, holding his face in his hands.

But why would you have manipulated him? You saved his life; it would have been easy to let him die. That would have made your life as a demon easier had he died on that train. But you saved him, so it wouldn't make sense for you to have manipulated him in such a way. Not that he knew how exactly you might have manipulated him.

You offered for him to meet your children, you offered for his brother to meet your children. From what he understood you were fiercely protective of them, so to have offered something so socially intimate... It wouldn't make sense for you to have underlying motives that could cause them harm. You seemed to care about every child, so to put his brother in danger wouldn't make any sense either.

Why did he so stupidly get himself involved with someone who was supposed to be his sworn enemy? How was he supposed to pursue you? Or tell you that he didn't mean it when he asked you on a date? But he did mean it. He enjoyed being around you and enjoyed talking to you.

He wanted to be around you. He gravitated to you as the moon did to the earth. He didn't want to leave your presence, wanting to bask in the beauty of it. But if you betrayed him, would he be able to do what needed to be done?

Rengoku startled at hearing another person sit next to him. He looked next to him, where the person had sat, and Muichiro was sitting next to him with crossed legs. "She's very nice. I can feel that she cares greatly for those around her," his voice was wispy, distant.

Rengoku couldn't help but heft a heaping sigh of relief. Very much sated by Muishiro's comment. "Thank you for sharing that with me Muichiro. I agree with you," he smiled brightly at the boy. Muichiro has somehow managed to calm Rengoku's racing thoughts, easily nullifying many of the man's worries.

Muichiro happened to be a great judge of character, able to pick up on the slightest of cues given by a person. Even with his distant demeanor and how easily distracted, he could become; he knew when someone was up to no good. Muichiro and Rengoku had worked together often enough that Rengoku listened and trusted the young boy, no matter how indifferent he tended to be.

Muichiro hummed, and stood up, your haori still gripped tightly. "I should have given this back to her," he spoke absentmindedly. Rengoku chuckled, "I'm sure that if she needed it she would have been sure to grab it before leaving. Don't worry too much, hold onto it, and keep it safe for her." Rengoku smiled up at the young boy.

Muichiro's lips twitched in an attempt to return Rengoku's smile. "I'll do that," he spoke before turning and wandering off. Rengoku still smiled as he watched to boy leave, feeling far more at peace with his own feelings after the simple words the boy spoke. With a deep sigh of relief, he stood up to head back to his estate, hoping to see you later, when the sun left the horizon, and the moon took its place.

His walk was slow, muscles still pulling uncomfortably from his injuries. He'd learned later that he had detached some muscles, and it would take time before they reattach themselves. He would be restricted to training for at least another two weeks.

He wasn't thrilled about having to take so much time off, but he was still able to move around with relative freedom, so as he took his time making it back to his estate he thought of when your next encounter would be.

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You felt terrible for having to run off like that, but you couldn't risk the sunlight making direct contact with your skin. You didn't think Rengoku would appreciate a pile of ash at his feet, much less if it was you.

You'd only just begun to realize and process his feelings for you when the sun began peeking over the horizon, you had felt the heat begin to burn your cheek. So, you ran. You wish you didn't have to but survival was the most important thing.

You couldn't care for your children if you died, and you most certainly couldn't go on a date with Rengoku if you were a measly pile of ash. You had been able to hide in a cave not far away just as the sun began to stretch over the soil.

You huffed and puffed from having run so far so quickly, having not pushed yourself that hard in a long while. And apparently, the adrenaline that followed your long and fast run brought with it other unwelcomed feelings. There was a clawing anxiety trying to reach out, however, telling you how terrible of an idea it was to trust some random man with your children.

Not only a random man with your children but another with your heart and your feelings. It was dumb to have ever gotten involved with Rengoku. You barely knew the man. He may have killed some of your children and given the chance, he would have killed you weeks ago.

Your only saving grace was your strength. Had you not been strong enough to defeat Rengoku, you'd be dead, and everyone you cared about would be alone. Rengoku really was like to sun, such an unmovable and deadly force.

You had become romantically involved with a man who viewed you as the reason for all the wrongs in the world, and you shouldn't have. You hugged your knees to your chest, attempting to figure out your own emotions.

Not only was he an enemy, but he was human. You would outlive him. You would have to watch him die, either from old age or because of another man's greed. If your feelings got deeper, it would hurt so much more to be forced to watch the man die.

You'd almost allowed his death earlier, could you handle watching him die, would you be able to watch the fire leave his eyes? You weren't sure if you could. It was safer by yourself, it was safer to only give platonic affection, it was safer to only receive platonic affection.

While it still hurt to watch your human children die, it didn't hurt the way it did when you found your husband, Isa, dead. It didn't hurt as much as seeing Youko, Misaki, and Toshio's mangled bodies lying at your feet. Your own hands-claws-covered in their blood.

You couldn't stand to see the fear in Isa's eyes as he bled out beneath you. As you ripped into his body in a hungry fervor. You couldn't handle that again. You couldn't go through that pain again. You just couldn't. The wound still so deep and fresh even after hundreds of years.

There was no way you'd be able to survive seeing your children's dead bodies again. Realizing that the chunks missing from them were in your stomach, realizing you were the one that caused their deaths. That the last thing they saw was the terrible monster you had become.

You'd rip your own heart out, and chop off your own head with a nichirin blade before causing that pain again, or going through those feelings again.

Upon realizing what you had become you wretched, emptying your stomach of anything that may have once been part of them. You ripped at your stomach, screaming, clawing, ripping open the flesh, blood spewing out and pooling below you. You screamed and screamed. Anguish filling your veins, feeling your head. You had killed your husband, and your children.

At that moment you drove your hand into your chest, not caring about the pain sizzling your nerves. You ripped your heart out, and somehow you were still alive. You screamed again, ripping the flesh on your arms as you tried to claw yourself open.

Covered in their blood and your own bile you tried to crush your ribcage. You tried to crush your head, but nothing worked. You didn't understand what was going on, you only felt debilitating nausea at what you had done.

You sat on the ground, deep claw marks covering your face and the rest of your body, crying. You stared at their bodies, feeling sick once again. Your head was mostly bald at how hard you had griped the hair, most of it missing. You still felt each of the gashes slowly stitch themselves back together and could feel the hair begin to prickle as it began to grow back.

Why had you been the one to be turned? Why had you been the one that was able to continue living? Your children still had their whole lives ahead of them, and you had been the cause of their lives coming to a close.

You felt your nails, as they had turned sharp long ago, claw at your face and arms. You took a stuttering breath and tried to regain your composure, but after being reminded of the terrible things you had done, you weren't sure how long it would take to get ahold of yourself.

You sat there, your stomach rolling in disgust, and cried. You hated remembering your first night as a demon. You loathed it. Muzan had come to you and followed you to your home. He had seen something in you and had offered for you to become a demon so that you could reach your potential faster.

You spit in his face and dared him to come near your family. And he killed you, giving you some of his blood as you took your dying breath. A deranged smile covered the man's face. He left shortly after seeing how well your body had taken to his blood.

And when you had awoken, you only felt a burning hunger. You rampaged, tearing through your family as if they had been a buffet. Again, you felt sick to your stomach just thinking about it.

After you had regurgitated their remains, you never felt hunger for, or toward, a human again. And you'd kill yourself before you hurt another human, the way you did your own family. You'd even allow Sanemi to kill you, to take his time in causing your death.

If you ever killed or hurt a human for demonic needs or reasons, you'd embrace whatever pain Sanemi wished to incur upon you. Happy to endure a semblance of the pain you may have caused your would-be victim.

I was debating on doing a "Read me" for this book. I just read the book so you guys have audio to listen to since the good ol' Watty hasn't given that to me yet. I was just curious if that was something you all would actually be interested in or not. (Not is fine, as long as you're polite I will take no offense).

But I also think it may be a good opportunity to get to know writer-chan (me) better if you guys were interested in that. It would also kinda be like an annotated thing because sometimes I just can't help myself.

So comment on whether you guys would be interested in that sort of thing or not! Thank you all for reading. Polite comments only, I will remove anyone rude.