《The Millionaires Pursuit》Chapter 54
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It was five o'clock when Erik had finished tidying up his home and sprucing up his appearance. He was currently seated against the leather of his couch, pondering how the night ahead might transpire between him and Rosaline. Despite spending endless hours trying to convince her to speak with him, it seemed now that she had reached out and wanted to see him, Erik didn't feel entirely ready himself for what might happen when they inevitably begun to talk. Having spent so long trying to make amends, it almost seemed fruitless to even bother trying to help her see the truth. Sadly, a large part of Erik believed that Rosaline only wanted to see him tonight in order to end their relationship once and for all. As much as he didn't want to admit it, he was allowing his fears of losing Rosaline to control all of his stable and reasonable thoughts. It was a difficult thing being a man in love, but he knew without a doubt that his sufferings and eternal fate would have been far worse had he never met Rosaline. Her innocence, inner beauty and pure heart had brought him a world of happiness unlike any other he had ever experienced and he would forever be grateful for having her in his life, even if she decided that she could no longer love Erik in the way he vowed to always love her. Pulling him from his thoughts, Erik heard the doorbell ring. He hadn't realised how long he had spent dwelling over his relationship, but it didn't seem to matter in that moment because in a matter of seconds, Rosaline would sweep in through his front door and hopefully tell him everything he would ever need to know. Standing from his couch, Erik walks towards the entrance foyer of his home where he takes a steady breath before unlocking the door. Stood just outside is Rosaline, whom looks breathtakingly beautiful yet appears consumed by nervousness and angst. Deciding the try and ease both their worries, Erik speaks first.
"Good evening. Please, come inside." He warmly greets her.
Rosaline silently accepts and saunters in through the door, patiently waiting for Erik to guide her further inside his house. Feeling uneasy himself, Erik decides to remain quiet as he leads them both to where he was sitting previously. Taking their seats across from one another on the textured sofa, Erik can't remember a time where he felt so incredibly apprehensive. Fortunately, Rosaline's voice drew him out of his overactive thought process.
"Thank you for agreeing to see me." She gently begins.
"I know it hasn't been easy waiting for me to decide when I would finally be ready to talk about things between us, but I can't keep delaying the inevitable. It's time we discuss everything that has hurt us." Rosaline continues with a partially strained voice.
"I couldn't more agree." Erik says, whilst mentally preparing himself for what simply might be regarded as the single most important discussion in his life.
"If it's alright with you, I think it's only fair that I start, as there are a number of events leading up to your birthday party that I'd like the chance to talk about first as they all in some way play a part in what occurred." Erik calmly proposes.
Upon mentioning her birthday party, Erik notes the visible discomfort in Rosaline's expression. He despises seeing her visibly flinch at the thought of replaying the brief kiss he shared with Bianca. Despite her pain, he knows that he will only cause her further grief if he doesn't come clean with the entire truth, which is why he decides to instantly continue speaking after he observes her muted plea to explain himself.
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"Five years ago, I ended my relationship with a woman named Bianca Vettel, whom you know by the name of Meghan. At the start of our relationship, I'll admit that we enjoyed each other and our time together, but what I didn't know was that it was all a lie, a scam, a ploy to help her achieve her dreams of attaining fame, stardom and money. I suppose I was blinded by what I thought was my love for her to see that she was simply using me in order to get close to what she had become obsessed by; greed. Eventually, her true intentions were revealed to me but by that stage I had sworn off of women completely and only wanted to engage with them for casual sex because I was so consumed by fear that I would be hurt again. I didn't want to believe that someone could love me for more than just my money because I had been proven wrong and fooled for so many years by the one person who I thought loved me. Although it took a very long time to put all that behind me, the one and only person who changed my perspective about love was you." Erik confesses in a low, weary voice.
"At the time when you and I had first met, Bianca found me at home one day and essentially asked me to give our relationship another chance. I outright told her that I didn't want anything to do with her. It wasn't even just because of the damage she had caused by lying and cheating but also because of the fact I was no longer the same person. I had grown and matured so much since ending my relationship with her and didn't want to fall back into a relationship where I might be fooled once more and make the same mistakes again. As I was telling her to leave, she promised that it wouldn't be the last time I saw her. If only I had taken her threat seriously, maybe I could have prevented what I know now has had a direct impact on our relationship." Erik despondently admits.
While shifting his hands nervously in his lap as he thinks about how he might broach the topic of Bianca's unforeseen pregnancy, Erik meets Rosaline's gaze for the first time since he began talking. Her acknowledges how her brows are furrowed in concentration and lips drawn together tightly. As unpleasant as it is for him to have to relive these dreadful moments, he can't fathom what it is Rosaline is thinking or feeling. He senses that she is still confused as to how his relationship with Bianca could have escalated to the heights that they did, until he remembers her naivety regarding her friendship with the woman.
"Contrary to what Bianca had told me that very first day we had met after all those years apart, there was another reason that I discovered soon after as to why I believe she was so keen in convincing me to change my mind about us and where our relationship stood." Erik paused momentarily, awaiting the opportunity to gather himself for what he was preparing to admit.
Rosaline must have sensed his overwhelming anxiety to explain this next part because she tentatively placed her palm over the top of his trembling hand. Offering her a small yet grateful smile in return, Erik opened his mouth once more to tell her his harbouring confession.
"Bianca was pregnant but tragically miscarried just after the thirteenth week." He quietly said, whilst feeling a grave sense of sadness resurface at the thought of not being a father.
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"The child was mine of course, but I hadn't discovered that until it was too late. In fact, we had broken up when she was only ten weeks along and by that stage in our relationship we had spent more time arguing with one another than anything else. I've had a great deal of time to process the news over the past few months and whilst some days I can understand her decision to have wanted to keep such a secret to herself out of her own fears, there are other days where I can't help but dwell on the pain she has caused me. It's not only a matter of being robbed of potential fatherhood, but the fact that she has willingly torn us apart simply for her own cruel intentions. I can't forgive what she has done and the people she has hurt, which is why after her final malicious act at your birthday did I decide to take away her choices for her." Erik reveals with a sigh of relief, before explaining himself entirely.
"No matter what happens from this moment forward, neither of us will ever have to worry about Bianca hurting us ever again. I've filed a restraining order and secured permanent residence for her overseas." Erik declares, while searching Rosaline's eyes for any signs of contentment.
He continues to observe Rosaline with quiet concern, as she spends a few sole moments acknowledging his colossal revelation in all its glory. Baring his soul and his undying love for her had been easy, but sitting here now waiting ever so patiently for her to react to the darkest and dismal parts of him was quite easily the hardest thing he had ever had to do. Fortunately, he didn't have to wait long for an ounce of response, as he dejectedly felt the touch of her hand leave his. Suddenly, his heart dropped at the thought of the words that might soon escape her sweet lips.
"Erik..." She breathily spoke, as he detected large, salty tears begin to flow freely down her pink stained cheeks.
He wanted nothing more than to reach out and comfort her sorrowful cries, but at the same time, he also selfishly wanted her to ask him for his love and affection. A part of him wanted to see that she needed him as deeply and passionately as he needed her, which is why his heart stung a little when he saw her shake her head at him in disappointment.
"I wish I had known sooner." She admitted much to his astonishment, before surprising him even further by draping her arms around his neck and continuing to sob into his shoulder.
Erik couldn't help but wrap both his arms around her small frame and draw her in closer to his chest. It had been so long since he had felt her comforting touch that he almost wanted to cry himself. Forcing himself to focus on the present at hand and the concern he felt upon feeling Rosaline's wretched sobs, Erik tenderly rubbed slow circles against her spine, as he waited for her to calm her woes.
"I can't believe she kept your unborn child a secret from you, not to mention how she deceived you throughout your relationship." She painfully commented, while pulling away from Erik to swipe the moisture from underneath her eyes.
"So you believe me then?" Erik held his breath nervously as he awaited her reply.
Rather than voicing her response to his question, she merely side stepped it with another comment of her own. Naturally, Erik was bursting to find out how Rosaline truly felt about the fate of their relationship now that he had exposed the entire truth, but he supposed he had to wait a little longer since it was only inevitable that Rosaline had several more questions of her own to ask, which was why it was hardly alarming when she spoke again.
"I want to thank you Erik for opening up to me the way you did. I'm sorry you had to revisit some of those more horrific details, but I can't express to you how relieved I am to finally be able to piece together the answers that have I spent endless hours trying to work out over in my head." Rosaline gratefully spoke.
"I hope you don't mind then if I ask a few questions of my own?" She apprehensively questioned.
"Of course, I don't mind. I've nothing to hide no longer so please, ask whatever it is your heart desires to know." Erik warmly assured her.
"I don't really know where to start if I'm being perfectly honest, but I guess one thing I have been wondering since my birthday is if I hadn't walked in to see Bianca kiss you when I did, would you have told me yourself?" She remarked.
"Without a doubt I would have told you. However, I can't guarantee that I would have told you immediately, rather it would have been at my own pace when I would have been ready to also speak to you about Bianca, our past together and her true identity." Erik truthfully explained.
"And when exactly would you have been ready to tell me do you think? How much longer would I have been kept in the dark?" Rosaline quickly discerned.
Despite her calm exterior, Erik could sense that deep down Rosaline was still feeling betrayed and suffering from her emotional torment. He blamed himself for what she was experiencing completing, yet at the same time he wanted nothing more than to move on. Unfortunately, it seemed as though Rosaline had no intentions of suppressing herself from asking Erik even the most difficult of questions. Questions which Erik feared may only cause her to reevaluate the prospects of a future together.
"I can't answer you that Rose, because I honestly don't know. I always told myself the less you knew about Bianca and my past the better off you were because I wanted so badly to protect you and keep you safe. It was never about keeping secrets because I knew eventually I would have told you the truth, I just wasn't sure when the right time would have been to tell you. A large part of me also feared that as soon as you did find out the truth that you would run away and want nothing to do with me, which is why I'm still partly surprised as to why you haven't up and left already." Erik sincerely replied.
"I'm surprised you haven't figured out why that is yet?" She retaliated with a kind spark glowing in her eyes.
"What do you mean?" Erik questioned her in a confused tone, not quite following her and what she meant.
"I love you with all of my heart and nothing you told me would have made me run. Love is what would have kept us together not torn us apart." She bravely spoke each word, whilst trying her hardest to keep her tears at bay.
Erik's heart pounded in his chest upon hearing her say those words. He always had admired Rosaline's intelligence, however making him truly realise in that moment just how much she loved him and would have remained by his side throughout each hurdle Bianca targeted their way made him understand what an idiot he was to ever question her strength and determination to make their relationship work. He regretted not telling her the truth sooner, but for now all he could do was hope that she still loved him enough to give him a second chance. Before he had the opportunity to beg for forgiveness however, Rosaline was speaking once more.
"In spite of that, I was wrong for the way I reacted and didn't listen to you on numerous occasions. Had I been less stubborn I would have realised myself that you were innocent all along. Instead, I allowed my own fears and the influence of those in my family to dictate my decision to believe you. I never should have walked away from you the way I did at my birthday party and I'm so sorry I didn't hear you out sooner Erik. Please, say you'll forgive me?" She hopelessly cried, while pleading with tear stained eyes.
Erik couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. Rosaline was asking for him to accept her apology? How could she possibly think that she was in any way to blame for the fallout that occurred in their relationship? The idea sounded utterly preposterous to Erik's ears, which is why it was crucial that he quickly reassured her that it was in no way her fault for how their relationship had momentarily ceased.
"Sweetheart, I'm sorry but I can't forgive you." He assertively told her, while briefly noting the look of terror etched across her beautiful face.
"I can't forgive you Rose because there's nothing to forgive. I don't hold you accountable for anything that went wrong, it was all my doing." He carefully explained.
"No, that's not true. It wasn't your fault either. It was Bianca's alone, I know that now." She responded with just as much assurance as he had shown her.
"I could have told you the truth from the beginning, but I chose not to." He regrettably reminded her.
"Just as I could have chose to believe you from the start, rather than allowing the pressure of others to control my feelings for you. I never wanted to believe them but I did and it was the stupidest thing I ever could have done, especially knowing the man you are and I know you never would have done anything to intentionally hurt me because you love me." Rosaline spoke with quiet confidence, despite the overwhelming emotions that he could see were once again building up behind her eyes.
"I do love you, Rose. Always have, always will." Erik promised with a sad smile.
"Then show me." She tentatively whispered, silently awaiting him to make the next move.
Erik wasn't sure he could quite keep up with the multitude of emotions, feelings and thoughts he was currently experiencing. Although he and Rosaline had finally reached a point where they seemed to have found some common understanding, he felt positively taken aback by her request. He understood that she too was probably experiencing much the same and wasn't quite sure herself how to navigate this new and tricky grey area they happened to find themselves in. It was only human nature that they were still fiercely attracted to one another and had longed to touch, kiss and feel the others presence but more importantly, Erik wanted to rest assured that they weren't moving too fast as he anticipated that Rosaline still had a number of questions to ask him. She had barely scraped the surface with her long line of questioning and Erik was certain that if they involved themselves with any form of affection before they both were truly satisfied with each others choices and decisions leading up until this point, then there was a probability for regret, which was certainly something Erik had no intention of gambling on.
"You have my word sweetheart that I'll show you just how much you mean to me and more." He shyly told her, while cupping her hands in his and giving them a soft squeeze to assure her of his words.
"But right now, I think there are still a few important things that need discussing." He carefully suggested, feeling utter relief when he saw the genuine understanding in her bright eyes.
"You're certainty right." She agreed, as the two lovers broached yet another sensitive conversation regarding their complex relationship that they were both gradually starting to rebuild.
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