A/N: I honestly couldn't be more excited for this book to be almost done lmao. I've enjoyed writing it but I'm so ready to finish 'help me live' because it's the headspace I'm in right now. Anyways, four chapters left (including this one.)

I know that it's not Peaches in the picture but I thought it worked pretty damn well so don't come for me!

I will put a "⚠️" when it starts and ends.

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"Which one?" Billie asked, holding up two swimsuit options.

"Dat one," Hazelee pointed to the two-piece checkered choice.

"Alright beautiful, arms up," Billie instructed. I snuck out of the doorway, not wanting Billie to see me gawking over how incredible she is with Hazelee. I walked back into my room picking a simple red bikini. My phone began ringing and I picked up to answer Claudia's call.

"Hey, Claudia!"

"Hi, you guys ready?" She asked excitedly.

I was equally excited. Finneas, Claudia, Billie, Hazelee, and I were going to spend the day at the beach. Supposedly Finneas and Billie went to this beach when they were kids; it was apparently secluded and not many people know about it so hopefully, we won't be bothered or paparazzied.

Claudia called it a 'celebration beach day' but I think she was getting ahead of herself. We were 'celebrating' the adoption that's happening in two days, but again, we don't know if James will sign away his rights. But it was also to celebrate Billie's album coming out in three days and my single coming out in a week. I have never felt this many mixed emotions. On one hand, I'm so eager to finally be releasing music but at the same time, what if no one likes it? And I sure as hell hope James signs the papers. Claudia and Finneas are the perfect fit and Hazelee loves them. She begs me every day to go to 'Finny and Cwadia's house.'

"Alright, Billie has the address so we are going to load up Peaches and start the drive," she explained.

"Sounds good! See you there," I ended the call, stuffing a few more items into my beach bag and throwing on a large t-shirt as a cover-up. "Car-car, we weady!" Hazelee came into my room wearing the adorable swimsuit and some sunglasses she must have found.

"You look great Hazey," I chuckled, grabbing my bag and leading her out to the living room where Billie was holding the diaper bag and a set of car keys. "You pack her sunscreen?" I asked.

"Yup!"

"Extra diapers, change of clothes, hat, changing pad-"

"Babe," she interrupted me, "I got everything," she assured me.

"Okay," I took a deep breath as she kissed my forehead sweetly.

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"Look at you!" Claudia exclaimed, bending down to engulf Hazelee in a hug.

"I pwetty?"

"So pretty!"

"Finny," Hazelee ran to him after the short interaction with Claudia. Billie and I laid out a beach blanket and set up the sunshade tent. They were right about this place being private. There are two other bodies on the opposite side of the beach and that's it. After we were set up, Hazelee was begging Finneas to take her in the water.

"Sunscreen first," I demanded, holding up the bottle. Hazelee snatched it from my hands, walking over to Claudia and handing her the bottle, making us all laugh. It's adorable how she is so in love with that couple. After Claudia lathered her in sunscreen, Finneas took her into the water and the three of us basked in the sun. Though soon I felt a wet tongue on my cheek causing me to sit up quickly, squinting my eyes I realized it was fucking Peaches licking me up.

"You want attention, don't ya girl?" I coed, petting her.

"I do," Billie smirked causing me to roll my eyes with a laugh.

"Aw, you two look so cute! Say cheese," Claudia held up her phone, snapping a few pictures.

After Billie and I gave Peaches some cuddles she fell into a deep sleep just as Finneas and Hazelee came running up the beach.

"Hello cuties," Claudia beamed. I grabbed my phone, snapping a quick picture of Hazelee as she walked towards us.

Billie stood up, holding her hand out to me as I was sprawled out on the blanket. "Come with me," she said. I gladly took her hand and stood up.

"Fin and Claudia, you good to watch Hazelee for a few?" Billie asked.

"Of course," they said in unison.

I grabbed my shirt, slipping it over my head before Billies fingers intertwined with mine and she started leading me down the beach. "Where are we going?" I asked curiously.

"You see that patch of rocks?" Billie used her other hand to point a little way down the beach. I hummed in response and we walked silently hand in hand to the rocks. As we approached the rocks I became in awe of this beach. It was honestly breathtaking. Miles of sandy beach, perfectly blue waters, and these rocks were the perfect outlook.

Billie climbed up first, offering me a hand as I climbed up behind her. Subconsciously we both sat down, cuddled closely to one another as the waves crashed softly against the bottom of the rocks. "So, the real reason I took you out here was to play you the one song you haven't heard from the album," she explained softly.

"Finally," I chuckled, "why haven't you shown it to me yet?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I just felt like there hasn't been a good time," she shrugged.

"What's it called?"

"Your Power. It's about- actually just listen, I think you'll know what it's about," she handed me one air-pod, her taking the other.

Try not to abuse your power

I know we didn't choose to change

You might not wanna lose your power

But havin' it's so strange

she said You were a hero, you played the part

But you ruined her in a year, don't act like it was hard

And you swear you didn't know

No wonder why you didn't ask

She was sleepin' in your clothes

But now she's got to get to class...

Everything from the lyrics, the production, and the raw voice, I couldn't help but hold Billie closer, letting a tear escape my eye.

When the last strum of the guitar ended, she turned her phone off and I handed her the air-pod.

"What did you think?" She questioned softly.

"Well, you got me fucking crying," I chuckled, pointing to the tear streaming down my cheek.

"Baby," she pouted, wiping it away.

"It was amazing, like honestly, I'm speechless. It's so heartfelt and heartbreaking and...I don't even know," I trailed off, memories from my childhood coming back to me. I sat in Billie's arms for a few moments and I felt her kiss the top of my head.

I'm safe now. I should just tell her.

"Bil?"

"Yes, my love?"

"So, you know how I never talk about my birth father?" I started.

"Yeah?"

"I've been too afraid to talk about him. Not just because I hate thinking about it but also because I'm worried you'll leave me if you know about this side of me," I admitted, taking in a shaky breath. I'm not about to cry right now. I fucking hate crying.

"Baby, first of all, you don't have to talk about it and if you decide to, I would never leave you for something that happened that long ago. Hell, even if it happened yesterday I wouldn't leave you," she assured me, running a hand through my hair.

"I think it's time."

She nodded her head, squeezing me gently before giving me her full attention.

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"My birth father was a horrible man. I suppose he abused his power, his power over me and my sister. Bronte was 11 when he started sexually abusing her. I didn't know about it until I was ten," I took a long breath, attempting to ground myself. I focused my eyes on the long horizon in front of me, remembering 'I'm free now.'

"One night my mom was gone-as she often was with work-and he was supposed to put Bronte and me to sleep. Instead of putting me to sleep like he normally did, he brought me into Bronte's room where she was naked and...restricted."

"I was forced to sit and watch while Bronte cried out for help. I was ten, I didn't know what was happening, I didn't know what to do, I didn't know what the evil grin on my dad's face meant and I didn't even understand that he was hurting her. I thought it was maybe a punishment, like a spanking. Before that night I had no reason not to trust and love my father."

"This happened for weeks on end and he just kept telling me to get excited for my eleventh birthday because when I was eleven he would do to me what he did to Bronte." I finished, nausea hitting me like these waves crashing against the rock.

"The night before my eleventh birthday I told my mom what I was seeing because I was scared. Bronte didn't look happy and with the little description I had given my mom she immediately called the cops and I don't really know what happened after that but I haven't seen him since."

It was silent for a few moments when I turned around in Billie's arms to see tears streaming down her face. "Please don't cry," I wiped away her tears. "I'm okay now. When I was old enough to understand I went to therapy and I'm okay. I made it out."

"I know you're okay now but you weren't okay then and still have to live with that memory and that's a lot."

"You're right. It is a lot, especially when I see Bronte in as bad a shape as she is. She and I never talked about it, she turned to drugs instead."

"I'm so sorry baby," she kissed my forehead, holding me close.

⚠️

"It's not your fault. It's over. It will be okay. The only reason I told you all of this is because I see myself marrying you someday and I don't want to have to hide any part of me from a woman I'm married to," I smiled weakly.

"I love you so much," she whispered, leaning her forehead on mine.

"I love you so much," I whispered back before pressing our lips together.

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"Did she go to bed nicely for you?" I asked through the phone.

"She did! Sometimes I think she's an actual angel," Claudia said with a giggle.

"Trust me, she isn't always an angel."

"I know, I've seen her tantrums," Claudia chuckled.

"Alright," I took a deep breath, "I'll see you bright and early."

"Carter, don't stress about it! We will fight to the death for Hazelee. We love her so much and she deserves this, so do you."

"Thanks, Claudia. I love you."

"I love you too, sleep good," she said before ending the call.

I let out a deep sigh, falling backwards onto my bed, accidentally hitting Billie's boob with my hand.

"Owieee," Billie whined, holding her boob with both hands.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry," I laughed.

"It's not funny," she whined with a pout.

"Should I kiss it better?" I asked in a baby voice, fluttering my eyelashes.

"Yes please," she nodded, moving her hands. I chuckled and rolled my eyes before placing a quick kiss on her fully clothed breast.

"We're so stupid," I smiled, cuddling up to Billie as she laid her head on my chest.

"I love us, and I love you," she whispered, kissing my neck sweetly before I turned the lamp off.

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A/N: What did ya think?

Word count: 2000