A/N: PLEASE READ! And please read it all.

So, there's been a lot going on recently. I have been questioning so many things. My family is falling apart, my mental health is the lowest it's been in a long time. I am scared. I am not okay and honestly writing has been so difficult lately. All I want to do is read other people's books and escape from my reality.

I'm trying so hard to keep up but I sincerely apologize for the lack of chapters and my overall appearance on social media.

Okay, enjoy I guess.

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"Babe, you're shaking," Billie says softly, placing a hand on my thigh as her other remains on the steering wheel.

"I'm sorry," I apologize, staring out the side window. "I'm just like really nervous," I admit with a shaky breath.

"Hey, it's okay. You don't need to apologize," she assures me and I notice her pulling into a random parking lot.

"What are you doing?" I question, looking up at her as she parks the car.

"I think you need a minute," she smiles reassuringly before unbuckling, facing me to give me her full attention. "Can you show me your hands?"

"I-yeah," I hold out both my hands with confusion before she softly interlaces her fingers in mine.

"Look at me please?" I oblige, making eye contact with her. My heart rate slowing down a little. "You said you're nervous?" I nod. "Can you explain to me what you're nervous about?"

"It's just been a while since I've seen them and as much as I love my mom, she asks way too many questions, questions I don't always want to answer," I start, Billie nodding her head in understanding, "and I told my mom I was bringing someone and I asked her to make vegan food, she agreed but kept asking questions and I didn't even have answers."

"Questions about being vegan?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, if she needs answers to those, I have them. It's not your responsibility to explain to her why I'm vegan. And as far as those other questions, you have no obligation to answer them. If you find her asking questions you don't want to answer you can literally say 'I'm not comfortable answering that right now,' and if you don't feel comfortable saying that then just tap my knee or my arm or something and I promise I'll change the subject."

"Are you sure? You don't gotta do that," I shake my head, my shoulders slumping down.

"I'm sure Carter. I'm your girlfriend after all, right?" She smirks.

"You are," I nod giving her a quick peck.

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"Hi mom," I pull her into a hug as she opens the door.

"I've missed you so much my sweet Carter," she mumbled, holding me tightly.

"I've missed you to mom," I smile, pulling away. "This is Billie," I introduce, "Billie, this is my mom, Linda."

"It's so great to meet you," Billie smiles, holding out a hand.

"You as well," Mom shakes her hand. "Dinner will be ready in just a few minutes. You two want to wait in the living room?"

"Sounds good," I smile, leading Billie to the family room as my mom saunters off to the kitchen.

"My favourite daughter," my stepdad smiles, jumping off the couch to engulf me in a hug which I only half reciprocate.

"Hey, dad this is Billie, Billie this is Calvin, my dad," I introduce. I love my stepdad, don't get me wrong but it's been really hard for me to fully connect with him. The thought of having a dad at all scares me. My read dad-birth father wasn't what a dad should be and after him, guys scare me.

"Hi Billie," he smiles, shaking her hand as she says hello. Billie and I sit down on the couch across from him, my mind racing.

We make small talk until mom announces that dinner is ready. Mom sits across from me while dad sits across from Billie, Billie on my right.

"So, where's Hazelee," mom asks and my muscles immediately tense up.

"She's at babysitters," I lie.

"Aw, I was hoping to see her. It's been too long, you stopped visiting," mom goes on, making me feel extra guilty.

"Yeah," I practically whisper.

"This food is great Linda," Billie adds, I think sensing my discomfort and probably confused as to why I lied.

"I'm glad. I've never made anything vegan."

"Are you vegan now too Carter?" Dad asks.

"Um no, only when I'm with Billie," I answer.

"So are you two official? Have you been able to care for Hazelee while being in a relationship?" Mom asks. Here come the questions.

"We are official and y-yes, Hazelee has been fine."

"It's actually been great! Hazelee is such a sweet girl and I've loved getting to know her," Billie smiles before sipping on some water.

"I've been meaning to ask if I could take you and Hazelee out to a park someday?" Dad asks.

"That would be so fun! It could be like a little dad daughter/grandpa grandaughter date," mom exaggerates.

"I um... I don't know," I shrug, tapping Billie's knee.

"Carter has been extremely busy, I mean do you see how much work she does? Hardly has enough time for me," she jokes, causing both my parents to chuckle and nod.

There's a moment of silence which I am relieved for...that is until my mother starts talking again. "What happened to your last girlfriend. What was her name? Um..Jen, Ja-"

"Jade?" I ask.

"Yeah, that's the one."

"Nothing really happened, we just weren't meant for each other," I shrug, losing my appetite.

"Did she treat you badly? Because you know I have a gun in t-"

"Dad!" I interrupt, dropping my fork onto the plate, causing it to make a spiking noise.

"What? I'm just saying I got your back. You're my daughter."

"A gun? You have a fucking gun?" My eyes grow wide.

"What's wrong with that?"

My mouth drops open with a scoff.

"Where do you keep it? I didn't even know you had one," mom asks curiously.

"It's in th-"

"Don't tell her," I shout, skidding my chair back and standing up. "It was great to see you both but we better get going." I grab Billie's hand and she quickly says goodbye as I drag her out to the car.

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A few hours later I'm trying to sleep but my head won't shut up. Billie is scrolling through her phone next to me so I decided I should probably talk. I haven't said much since we left my parent's house.

"Hey, Bil?"

"Yes, love?" She sets her phone down.

"About dinner," I turn on my side to face her. "It was a horrible idea, I'm sorry I made you come with me."

"You didn't make me do anything," she shakes her head. "Though I do have one question."

"Shoot."

"Why did you lie about where Hazelee is?"

"Because," I let out a heavy sigh, "I'm afraid if my mom knew then she'd fall into another depressive episode. Did you see her face when Calvin said he had a gun? She wanted to know where it is-she, she's never been the same since she last attempted."

"That makes sense but also...she's gonna find out someday right?"

"Yeah, and I will tell her. I'm just not ready."

"That's fair," she smiles softly, kissing my cheek sweetly.