The man you loved; the father of your unborn child, you watched as he left again.

Feeling your chest contract, you will yourself not to cry, knowing that tears will not remedy the situation. You see him ride away on his horse, dust kicking up as he gallops away. How had the day ended like this? This morning you'd been happy, surrounded by Arthur's scent, enjoying his touch, thinking of what name your unborn child may bear, what your wedding day may look like. Now that all seemed so far away, a distant memory. Hosea was gone, Arthur was gone, Dutch hated you, and half the gang probably agreed with him. You felt so alone.

"Where's Arthur going?" John jogs over wiping his face of blood and tears. The mask of a hardened outlaw replacing the look of a young man who just watched his father die.

"To kill Colm." You reply, void of emotion as you turn and begin packing your things.

"What!?" He grabs your arm, spinning you to face him. "He's going to get himself killed!"

You nod your head, not trusting yourself to speak as tears threaten to spill.

"Did he say what his plan was?"

You hear the desperation and worry in John's voice and you're not sure if it's from fear of losing someone else or from the knowledge that he is now responsible for Abigail, Jack, and his brother's pregnant wife.

"There's a cabin North of Annesburg, he said you know about it?" You shake your arm loose and continue to pack your things.

John frowns then nods as he follows you into the tent. "What about it?"

"He said you're to take us there." You shove Hosea's box into his hands. "That's the money Hosea left; we'll use it to buy what we need until we can get to Dutch's stash."

John strokes the lid gently, his fingers tracing lines of the 'H'. "Did he say when he'd be back?"

The question is too much, and you drop down to the bed and bury your face in your hands, sobbing gently as you realize you may never see him alive again. He'd left once before, to get you a ring, but this felt different. This felt final. You had no idea if you'd ever see him alive again.

"I don't think he can survive this John; he's going to get himself killed and it's because of me."

John sits beside you on the bed, pulling your head to his chest as he wraps his arms around you, his hand stroking gently across your hair to soothe you.

"Y/N listen to me, I don't know what Arthur's plan is, but I know he ain't stupid. I've seen that man walk away from fights where he's outnumbered five to one and he never has a scratch on him. Colm doesn't stand a chance. We'll head up north to the cabin and wait for him."

You nod your head against John's chest, forcing yourself to believe his words. Arthur wasn't stupid in a fight, but he wasn't invincible either. One day he may not walk away.

John leaves you to finish packing as he goes to gather up Abigail, Jack, and their things. You quickly throw anything you can find into your pack. As you begin to toss in blankets from the bed a book falls to the ground. Frowning you pick it up, examining the leather cover and strap that holds it closed.

Arthur's journal.

He must have forgotten to put it in his satchel after your morning activities. Drawing the leather to your nose you inhale deeply, smelling the binding and faint scent of tobacco. You'd never asked Arthur what was in the journal, choosing to let him share it with you when he wanted. Feeling it too precious to leave behind you toss it into your pack along with a few of his shirts. Whether he'd wear them again or not you'd soon be far too large for your own.

"Ready to go?" John leans into the tent offering his hand for your heavy pack.

You nod, handing him the baggage. Taking one last look around your tent you leave, following him to the wagon where Abigail sits with Jack curled up on her lap. He's crying into her chest, no doubt traumatized from the earlier events.

"Wait, where's Keiron?" you pause, searching around the camp for him.

"Y/n, you can't be serious."

"He's coming with us, John. Besides... Do you really wanna be one man responsible for a child and two women? Not to mention the fact that one of them is pregnant."

You watch John swallow and his skin lighten a shade. The weight of his new role no doubt playing on his mind. "Alright but you're dealing with Morgan when he finds out."

Scanning the camp once more you spot him, calming down the horses and coaxing them back to their hitching posts. Picking up your skirt you rush over, startling him with your obvious urgency.

"No time to explain." You trip over your words. "We're leaving, you with us or staying here?"

His eyes widen as he tries to catch up to what you're asking. "Leave? With you and them?" he nods back to the wagon.

"It's that or stay here and wait for Colm."

Keiron nods decisively, his fingers finish tethering the horse and he steps around to follow you. Pausing as an idea strikes, you loosen the knot he just finished and pull the grey Turkoman along with you.

"Ain't that Hosea's horse?" Keiron asks as you lead it to the wagon.

"Was. We need it more than the camp does now." You thrust the reins in his hands, indicating for him to ride alongside.

"You sure about this Y/N?" John asks from the front of the wagon, eyeing Keiron suspiciously.

You scramble into the back as best your pregnant belly will allow, huffing slightly as you find a comfortable spot.

"Nope." You reply, resting your head back against the wagon as it pulls away.

_____________________________________________________________________________

"We're here!"

John's voice rouses you from your slumber, your body groaning in protest as you stretch against the hardwood. You blink your eyes open and see the stretch of forest before you. Pushing yourself forward you see a cabin nestled back against the scenery.

"Willard's Rest"

The sign hangs dilapidated against its post but it doesn't take away from the peaceful beauty of the place, even in the moonlight you can make out the vast expanse of green that surrounds you. The faint sound of running water lets you know there is a river nearby, inhaling deeply you smell wildflowers and the damp trees. It was truly breathtaking.

A pang of sadness hits you as you realize Arthur isn't here to enjoy the scene with you, a dark reminder of the day you've had, the loss you've suffered. Following Abigail from the wagon, you see a woman stepping from the porch, a rifle slung over one shoulder. Frowning, you nudge Abigail who follows your line of sight, her expression mirroring yours as the woman comes closer, before pulling John into a tight embrace.

You both watch in confusion as John and the woman exchange a few words, the woman's face falls, and her eyes cast over to you, a look of sadness flashes across her features and you draw your arms self-consciously around yourself.

John brings her over, throwing his arm around Abigail and drawing her close. Keiron begins unloading the wagon.

"This is Charlotte, she's a friend of Arthur's."

You frown further, Arthur had never mentioned a friend in the forest, let alone one he knew well enough to stay with in a cabin together in the middle of nowhere.

"You must be Y/N, Arthur told me so much about you." Her smile is warm, and she offers you her slim hand.

You shake it not wanting to be rude, but your gesture is short, and you quickly return your hand to your belly, finding comfort in knowing Arthur's child lies within. Charlotte's eyes follow your movement, a deep frown setting in her brows as she sees the swell under your shirt.

"You're pregnant." It's not a question.

"Yes, I'm due in about four months."

Sadness replaces her frown when she meets your eyes.

"That explains a lot." She whispers more to herself, turning she gestures for you all to follow.

Charlotte guides John and Abigail to a room as Keiron tends to the horses outside, leaving you to wander the small kitchen alone. You glance around the small room, trying to draw up a picture of your new host. Seeing various pelts and meats you realize she must be a hunter of sorts, living up here alone you suppose she'd have to be as the nearest town was hardly close by. Your mind doesn't fail to remind you that this is the life you were aiming for, with Arthur. Him hunting for dinner, you caring for the home, your child playing safely in the garden. You drop into the chair heavily, too tired to even be sad anymore.

"He never told me you were pregnant." Charlotte's voice startles you, she reaches for a jug from the side, pouring you a cup before sitting down across the table.

"And why would he?" You answer defensively.

Charlotte smiles, pouring herself a drink before answering. "It explains why he was in such a hurry."

You were tired and beginning to become annoyed by her ability to dance around a clear answer. Reminding yourself she was currently the reason you had a roof over your head you swallow down an insult and decide to ask her outright.

"How exactly do you know Arthur?"

She smiles again as if remembering a fond memory, and it doesn't fail to irk you more.

"He's a dear friend, and I owe him my life. My husband and I moved out here from the city."

You visibly relaxed at the mention of a husband.

"Cal and I had no idea what we were doing, we moved here from Chicago. Arthur found me just after I buried him, I'd eaten the last of my food and would surely have starved had it not been for his help."

Feeling guilty for your jealousy you look away, but Charlotte's next words draw you back to meet her eyes.

"When he found out I was a widow he offered to buy the place, to help set me up in a town again. I was so stubborn I refused at first, determined to make it work, but then he came back to check on me. He told me about you, about how he'd fallen in love, and he was determined to give you the life Cal and I had tried to live. This life was always Cal's dream, not mine, so when he came back a third time, I sold him this place, and now I know why he was more determined to buy..." she nods to your bump.

"He bought this place?" You whisper.

Charlotte nods, her eyes crinkle kindly with warmth. "He told me unless something happened, he'd move you up here at the beginning of summer, I was to keep this place going until then..."

You're speechless, still trying to wrap your head around the fact that Arthur bought a home and never told you.

"He told me this place was to be a wedding gift for you."

You look around her...no, your... kitchen. Arthur had bought you home. He'd bought you the life you dreamed of. Now you didn't know if he'd even be around to share it with you.

"I'd like to go to bed if you don't mind." That is all you can bring yourself to say, your head tired and overwhelmed.

Nodding knowingly Charlotte guides you to a room but lingers by the door.

"I'm sorry about how things ended up." She says quietly before closing the door and leaving you to your thoughts.