Arthur's arms have you pinned to his side, his heat overwhelming you. As your body begins to catch up with your mind you feel it churn in protest.

Here we go again. You mutter to yourself as you being to untangle yourself from him.

The sickness in your stomach rolls over you with urgency as you fight to make it outside. But you can't. Stumbling from your shared cot, you fall to your knees, heaving your insides on the floor as tears stream down your cheeks.

You feel so foolish for even considering that you could bring a child into this life, you would be a liability for the next eight to nine months. Not to mention once the child is born, how vulnerable it would be as the gang moves around and all the jobs you all work on. Your thoughts drift to Abigail as you continue to heave, it still amazes you how she got through it, but then you remember what she said.

Arthur.

Arthur had been the one to help her when John left, he had been the one to keep her and Jack safe.

Arthur had been the one to help raise Jack when John failed to do so.

Your Arthur Morgan.

A warm hand soothes over your back as you begin to cough and catch your breath.

"Hey, Y/N. What's going on, you okay?" He crouches next to you with a wince of pain, as his eyes scan the scene in front of him. You're shaking from the effort, as a small sheen of sweat coats your skin. The small puddle of vomit sets alarm bells off in his head.

Nodding your head, you wipe your mouth and lean back against the cot. Closing your eyes, you will yourself not to cry.

"Talk to me Y/N, are you okay? Are ya sick?"

The concern in his voice causes your lip to quiver, you dare not open your eyes as you know the exact look of concern that covers his face. You had a plan, and you had to stick to it, you couldn't allow yourself to talk yourself out of it.

"-M fine Arthur, just bad stew or something." You force a smile and meet his gaze.

He tucks a loose lock of hair behind your ear, trailing his finger down your cheek in such a gentle way you wouldn't believe possible from a man his size.

"I worry about you."

As your stare at his bruised face, you feel your resolve beginning to crumble. He could keep you safe, you and your baby. He would protect you at all costs.

"You worried about Colm? Is that why you're sick?"

The mention of his name sobers your thoughts, reminding you why you had to do this. It wasn't safe, and as long as you were pregnant Arthur wasn't safe. He would do anything to protect you, even getting himself killed, that you had no doubt. You push yourself up, determined to see your plan through.

"I...I think I better go see a doctor. Just to get the all-clear." Brushing off your skirt you begin loading what you need into your satchel.

Arthurs's eyes widen in worry as he straightens, sucking in a pained breath as his side protests at the movement.

"I'll come with you I-..." his words cut off as he winces and clutches his side. He's pulled one of his stitches and the wound begins to bleed again.

Rushing over you gently sit him on the bed, ushering him to lay down.

"You're not going anywhere until you're healed. I'll be fine on my own just get some rest."

"Sweetheart, Colm is still out there. It's not safe on your own, I'm going with you."

"Arthur I- "

"Arthur, Y/N. Can I come in?" John's voice calls from outside your tent.

"Sure" Arthur calls back before you can protest.

Walking into the tent, John crinkles his nose at the puke on the floor.

"Everything okay?" He asks as he takes in the scene of you holding Arthur down.

You nod and relax back sitting on the edge of the cot as Arthur attempts to prop himself upon the pillow.

"I came to see how you're doing and wanted to thank you for yesterday."

Arthur nods but doesn't say anything, as is usual he's uncomfortable receiving thanks. His self-depreciation often blinding him from seeing the good deeds he does.

As an uncomfortable silence falls on the tent you seize the opportunity to getaway.

"Well, I'll leave you boys to talk. Good to see you up and about John."

You grab your satchel and make to push past him but instead, he gently grabs your arm. His eyes narrow and level with yours and you stop dead.

"Where are you going Y/N?"

You freeze, suddenly aware that he may know more than he should.

"She wants to ...ah... she wants to go into town to see the Doc," Arthur explains as he readjusts himself on the bed.

John's eyes never leave yours "I don't think that's very safe, do you? I don't think you understand the risks involved."

Oh shit, he definitely knew. Abigail must have told him last night after your conversation. You make a mental note to scold her later for not being able to keep a secret.

"I... uh... I'm sick...need to see the doctor for some meds."

"What about Arthur?"

Narrowing his eyes, he continues with your double-meaning conversation as Arthur lies oblivious on the bed.

"She won't let me take her. Actually, John could you go with her?"

You whip around and glare at him. "Arthur Morgan, I do not need a damn escort to go into town."

"Escort ain't for you. It's for me, for my peace of mind." He offers you a lopsided smile, one that would never fail to make your knees weak and give into anything he wanted.

"Sure, I'll take ya Y/N, wouldn't want you getting yourself hurt. Besides, we have a lot to talk about, we haven't caught up in so long." John smirks triumphantly, dropping his arm from yours.

With a huff you shove past him and out the tent. "Let's just get this over with."

"So...were you ever gonna tell him?"

You pinch the bridge of your nose and sigh, a habit you picked up from Arthur when he's frustrated. You're barely out of earshot from camp as you both ride your horses to downtown Rhodes.

"There's nothing to tell him, John." He's going to be as persistent as Abigail, you just know it.

"Y/N, he has a right to know. It's his child we're talking about here if he finds out it'll kill him."

Your hand ghosts over your stomach before gripping the reins tightly as you blink away tears that threaten to spill. You know Arthur may never forgive you if he finds out, you've already raged that internal war with yourself. You'd concluded that you could live with yourself as long as Arthur was alive and safe.

"I can't risk bringing a child into this life, not now at least. Colm is still out there, and he won't stop until he gets revenge. If I continue with this pregnancy, I'll be a liability."

John draws his horse in front of you, forcing you to stop.

"We'd protect you; Arthur and I, we'd keep you safe. I owe Arthur much more than my life for what he's done for me. He's my brother, and he stepped in when I couldn't be a father for Jack, the very least I can do is help protect the mother of his child with him. We're going to get you out Y/N, you, Abigail, and Jack."

"And Keiron..."

"And what?"

"And Keiron. We're getting him out too." You ignore his look of utter disbelief as you spur Caesar past him.

"I'm sorry, what!? Have you completely lost your mind, he's an O'Driscoll!? I know pregnancy can do funny things with your head, but you can't be serious."

You stare him in the eyes as you continue along the road to town, you can already see the church appearing over the hill.

"I am serious. He's coming with us, he's as much a victim of Colm as I was. It's not up for discussion, much like what I'm about to do isn't. Now if you want to be helpful while you're here, keep a lookout in town.

John opens his mouth to protest but quickly shuts it again as you glare at him. You have a heart too big to handle, so he decides to let Arthur deal with this conversation later.

As you draw into town John is quiet. He rides with his head low as he chews the inside of his cheek, he has to convince you to not go through with this, but how? Abigail is a strong-willed woman, but you're practically immovable, besides he can't rely on his roguish charm to work on you the way it does with her.

"Is there anything I can say to convince you not to do this?"

You sigh as you draw Caesar to a halt at the hitching post. "No John and I'd thank you not to keep trying."

Quickly dismounting John is by your horse's side, offering you a hand to get down.

"Here let me help you."

Ignoring the hand, you slide down with a thud. "John, this is what I'm talking about. You and Arthur will treat me different; you'll be distracted."

"It's no different than me protecting Jack."

"Raising two children in this life, the odds aren't in our favor John."

He looks around as if he's wrestling with himself when his eyes settle on the saloon. Looking back at you he sighs and throws his arms up in defeat.

"You're right."

"I-I...am?" you stutter, feeling like you have whiplash from the sudden change in John's opinion.

"Yea, you're right, it's risky." He nods over to the saloon. "So, let me get some food in you before you do this. I wanna make sure you're as strong as you can be before you do whatever it is that needs to be done. Abigail said it really took the energy out of the girls she knew. And I don't want Arthur stringing me up for bringing you back half dead."

And with that he marches over to the saloon, not sparing you a second glance. You stand with your mouth open staring after him for a moment as your brain tries to catch up with everything. Deciding some food wasn't the worst idea you follow after him.

Seated inside the saloon John orders and pays for your food, there aren't too many options, so he settles on tea and oatmeal, remembering how Abigail had often had trouble keeping food down at the very start of her pregnancy. He slides the bowl over to you as you sit, your eyes watching him suspiciously.

"Eat, and then I'll take you wherever you need to go."

Still suspicious of his sudden change of heart you slowly begin to eat, noting how much easier the oatmeal sits than Pearson's cooking. Eating in silence you're all too soon scraping the bottom of your bowl, disappointed that you're finished.

"Still hungry?" John raises his eyebrow.

You nod guiltily, feeling embarrassed by your sudden greediness.

Raising two fingers at the barman he signals for another bowl, which you immediately begin tucking into. John watches you silently, still warring with himself over if he should tell you. Arthur was a very private man, and if Arthur hadn't told you, it certainly wasn't his place to. But he was desperate, and he was sure if Arthur knew the circumstances, he wouldn't care what John did. Taking a deep breath, he goes with his gut.

"Arthur had a kid before."

You stop dead as your eyes shoot to John, your spoon dropping into the bowl and splattering oatmeal across the table.

"His name was Isaac."

"W-what?" you whisper, not quite believing what you were hearing.

"Arthur got a girl pregnant when we were younger, a waitress. He didn't love her it was just a stupid drunken night out him and I had, but he never stopped providing for her. For five years he'd disappear for weeks at a time to visit them and make sure they had everything. He didn't talk about it much, you know what he's like, but he loved Isaac more than anything."

You stare out of the window, struggling to process the information. Arthur had a son and he never told you. "Where is Isaac now?"

John looks down at the table, the past swirling through his mind.

"He died. Arthur went to see them one day and found them both dead and buried."

Your head snaps to look at John as your hand shoots to your mouth to hold in a sob. So that's why he hadn't told you, it was too painful for him. The poor man had lost something as precious as a son, and knowing Arthur as you did, you knew he'd bury that pain deep down.

"He was never the same when he came back. He wouldn't talk about Isaac ever again, it was like it never happened, but somedays I'd find him with Isaac's picture, just staring at it. It killed him that he couldn't protect them because that's what he is Y/N. To his core, he is a protector of what he loves. I never saw him like that again, until he met you."

"Why're you telling me this John?"

He shakes his head, looking anywhere but directly at you. "Because if Arthur finds out I don't want to see him go through that again. This procedure is risky Y/N if he loses you and his unborn kid...I... well I don't want to think what he'd do."

Staring down at your unfinished oatmeal you cross your arms around your belly hugging yourself. You hadn't thought about the risks to yourself, you'd been so focused on ending this pregnancy it never occurred to you that you could die.

"None of us want to lose you Y/N, but Arthur can't live without you."

Your mind conjures images of John riding back to camp and telling Arthur, the imaginary pain on his face causing you to sob.

John crosses around the table and crouches by your feet, taking your hands in his he shushes you as he notices people staring. The gang needed to keep a low profile, and while you weren't easily recognized, his scars made him an easy target.

"Shhhh Y/N I need you to calm down for me, it's gonna be okay."

You stare down at his blurry face as tears continue to fall. "I... I don't think I want to do this John... I can't do this to Arthur. I want this baby, I really do, but... it's going to be so dangerous for us."

John drops his shoulders, relieved to hear you finally see sense.

"You let me, and Arthur worry about that." He thumbs away your tears, reminding you so much of Arthur as he does.

You smile, despite the tears, your mind suddenly flashing images of Arthur holding your newborn baby and your heart melts.

John begins to notice more and more eyes on you both as you wipe the rest of your tears away. He begins to feel nervous at the glances and the sudden urge to get you out of there becomes overwhelming. A man meets John's eyes as he stares at him, his eyes narrow as if trying to place John's face. Suddenly widening in recognition, the man makes a beeline for the exit.

Shit. Okay, time to go.

"Y/N, I think we should get out of here."

Standing up he offers you a hand and leads you out of the back of the saloon, ensuring you're both heading in the opposite direction of the man.

You're confused as John drags you to the back and away from where your horses are hitched. He's suddenly jumpy, and you worry he's spotted a threat you've yet to notice. Arthur had the same talent, he could sense danger sometimes hours before you could, he'd become quiet and his eyes would never stop searching. It seems John had developed the same talent, and you wondered if a life on the run had taught them to sniff out threats with ease.

"John, what is it?"

"That man back there recognized me, I don't know where from but he's either off to tell the sheriff or someone I probably won't want to see so I have to get you out of here."

Pulling you into the alley he shields you behind him as he peers around the wall. The man from before is talking to two men and pointing back at the saloon. Squinting to see their badges he watches as they begin to draw their guns and turn towards where the man was pointing. As they turn John pales, they're not lawmen, neither of them is wearing a badge, but it didn't matter, he'd recognize them anywhere.

O'Driscolls.

"Shit, Colm's here somewhere." He curses and turns back to you; he notices your hand is held protectively over your stomach. Shit, how was he going to get you out of here safely?

"Oh my god, what do we do?" your whisper rushed as he peeks around the wall.

"It's gonna be okay, here's what we're gonna do. I'm gonna go out there and distract them, I don't think the man recognized you, so you're gonna go back in the saloon and walk with your head down and wait until they're distracted. Then I want you to leave and walk straight for the horses and don't stop."

He quickly tugs his bandana free, placing it on your head and tying it under your chin like a headscarf. Shoving a revolver in your hand he pushes you back and steps out from the alley with his hands raised.

"Fellas... funny seeing your ugly faces here."

You don't hear the rest as you scramble back towards the rear of the saloon, you fumble with the gun and hide it in the waistband of your skirt. Bursting inside you remember what John said and instantly drop your head so as not to draw attention to yourself. Slowly, you make your way to the front entrance, weaving through the crowd and keeping your face low.

You see through the window that John's hands are still raised, as two guns are leveled at his chest. Two drunks notice the commotion outside and being to stagger out, hoping for some entertainment for the day. Now was your chance.

Setting your sights on Caesar you step out of the saloon following the drunks, keeping your head down you overtake them and cross the road. You can hear John and the men.

"You're gonna pay for what you did Marston, Colm's got special plans for you and Morgan."

"Sorry fellas, me an' Morgan ain't free tonight. Maybe you'd better find some whores for him instead?"

"Oh, he's got plans for a whore alright. Colm wants her back, and this time he won't be so gentle in taking what's his."

Your steps quicken as your heart pounds with fear. How the hell were you going to get John out of this one? Focusing on Caesar you walk with purpose across the road, you're almost there, his head turning to great you.

BANG!

Caesar drops to the ground as John's horse rears and fights its tether in fright.

"NO!" you scream, staring at the growing pool of blood around your horse's head. His eyes stare lifelessly at you from the ground as his tongue rolls from his mouth.

"That's the girl!"

"Y/N RUN!" You hear John scream as bullets begin to fly.

You throw yourself at John's horse, yanking the reins free. You hear bullets flying behind you spooking the horse and causing it to rear.

"Shhh, c'mon it's okay!" You try to soothe hurriedly as you throw yourself unceremoniously on its back.

Hearing the gunshots more people begin to flood the streets and more guns join the fight. You're not even sure if they're O'Driscolls, the people here will do anything to join a fight.