"She said that?" Emily asked in disbelief when I told her about the conversation I had with my mother the other day. When I told Emily that my mom was more interested in some fling then she was in her daughter, she went silent. Jasper and Gerald were no where to be seen since they were in the backyard grilling up chicken.

"Yeah," I said softly as I looked down at my hands that I had folded together on the dining room table. "She didn't even let me get one word in, and then I just snapped."

"I would too," Emily said as she reached over and placed a hand onto of mine. "When she called me last night, she didn't mention anything about a guy. Just that you went off on her for no reason."

I sigh as I shake me head. "I don't know what's gotten into her. It's never been this bad before, and I don't know what's going on with her. She acted like she didn't even know who I was when someone asked who she was talking to. It's like she doesn't even care."

"Oh, Sweetie. I'm sure she cares," Emily said soothingly.

"It doesn't seem like it," my voice cracks as I say that. "With everything that's been going on lately, I just feel..."

Emily sighed as she squeezed my hand. "Everything will be okay. I'm sure of it."

"But-" I say but she cut me off.

"Everything will be alright," Emily said sternly as she looked in my eyes.

I nodded and gave her a small but convincing smile. One thing I hated was making people worry about me.

"So," Emily said as a she bit the inside of her lip and smiled. "Who was that boy I saw in your driveway?"

"That's Evan," I tell her when she brings him up.

"He's that Bello boy, right?" Emily asked.

I look at her with a confused look on my face. "You know him?"

"Not really," she tells me. "He's just delivered here a few times. He seems like a nice boy."

"He is," I told her as a smile crept on my face. It was like every time I talked about Evan, it made me feel better.

"Well, I would like to officially meet him. It would be nice to have a conversation that didn't involve money that I owed him," Emily said with a light chuckle. "How's Jasper treating you? I know it must be hard on you being close to him because of the way he treated you all these years."

"It's okay," I shrug. "I make him clean all the time so I really don't see Jasper unless I need him."

Emily nodded slowly as she turned to look out the screen door on the opposite side of the house before she looked back at me. I looked at her in confusion, but it only took me a few seconds to realize she was making sure no one was listening in.

"When your mother comes back, you are welcomed to stay here as long as you want," Emily told me as he reached out and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder.

I smile as I hold my tears back. "Thanks."

The sound of the back door opening ruined the moment that Emily and I were sharing. I look up to see Jasper walking in with a plate of grilled chicken in front of him. As if he could sense us staring at us, he looked up.

"What's going on?" He asked as he sat the plate down on the table after he walked into the room. I was just glad that I held my tears back. I didn't want to give Jasper any ammunition to make fun off me.

"Nothing. Just girl talk," Emily said with a convincing smile. "Can you be a dear and put the green beans and potatoes into serving bowls?"

"Sure," Jasper said, but before he left, his eyes landed on me. I couldn't tell what he was thinking of when he looked at me. His lips were in a firm line. I couldn't even tell his expression by his eyes. Was he sad? Doubtful. People who don't have souls can't feel emotion.

"He's been acting strange lately," Emily said once he had left the room. "I think you're rubbing off on him."

"Ew, gross," I say as I shake my head, but Emily had a point. Something is different about Jasper. He wasn't his usual bitter self. Did he suddenly grow a conscious?

Emily chuckled as Gerald walked into the house and sat at the table next to his wife. "Maybe it's just me."

"What's just you?" He asked.

Emily shook her head. "Girl stuff."

I couldn't help but smile. Emily was keeping what my mom had said between us. Which is what I wanted. I didn't want to drag Gerald into this mess.

____________________________________

"You don't need to do that," Jasper said to me as he walked into the kitchen with some empty bowls.

I was putting the plates into the dishwasher. It was the least I could do anyway. Besides, putting four plates and a handful of silverware away didn't require much energy.

"I don't mind," I say as I take one of the bowls out of Jasper's hands and placed it on the top rack.

"Alright," he shrugged as placed the last bowl on the counter. "Mom and Dad decided they wanted to do a game night. They're up in the attic looking for some of my old ones."

"Nothing screams fun like playing Chutes and Ladders," I say sarcastically as I roll the racks back to close it, but I couldn't quite reach the dishwasher door. Before I could even say anything, Jasper reached down for me and closed it.

"Don't bad mouth the greatest game of all time," he jokingly warned. "I will destroy you at it."

"So cocky," I mutter as I grab my chrutches and turn to face him.

"Yep that's me," he says as he bit his lower lip. "Hey, I was thinking about heading over to Des Moines tomorrow. The fair is going on and I thought it would be good for the both of us to get away for a bit."

The thought of being alone in a car with Jasper for two hours did not sound appealing. He would have many opportunities to just ditch me into the side of the road, and knowing him he would do it.

"No thanks," I say to him.

The smile that was on his face disappeared. It was like he was expecting me to say yes.

"Why not?" He asked firmly.

I was a little taken aback from his actions. It wasn't like he thought I should be grateful that he even asked if I wanted to go with him.

"Well for starters, I'd rather not be alone with you in some unknown place," I say. I've never been anywhere near Des Moines, and going there with Jasper seemed like it would be a bad idea. "I also have plans for tomorrow."

"Like what?" He pressed on, but by the tone of his voice I could tell he was getting pissed.

"Evan and I are going out tomorrow, but that's really none of your business."

"None of my business?" He asked, raising his voice slightly.

"Yeah, it isn't," I say as I stand up to him. "All you've ever wanted from me is to torture me. And why? What did I ever do to you? You were the one who pushed me first on that day."

"Oh don't try to put all the blame on me," he shouted back as he took a step closer to me. I tried to take a step back, but was stopped short when my butt hit the counter.

"But I am putting the blame on you," I say roughly as I poked him in the chest. "You were the one who pushed me first. I was just standing up for myself. We were so little when that happened, but you wouldn't let it go like a normal person. Everyday you mean to me. You drove everyone I was close to away. And why?"

"You know why," he said as he threw his head back in frustration.

"No, I don't," I say, but my voice had started to crack. I didn't realize until now, but tears had begun to form in my eyes, and they were threatening to spill at any minute. "I was alone. Every single day. Did you know that? I would go to school every day, and I would be bullied by every person who was dumb enough to listen to you. Do you know how many times I have found notes in my locker telling me that I should just go kill myself? That I was an eyesore to everyone? A waste of space? Because I do. I would get them every day."

The stern look on Jaspers face faltered when I mentioned the death threats. "I didn't know that," he whispered.

"Sure you didn't," I say as I try to wipe the tears out of my eyes, but it didn't work.

Jasper reached out and placed both of his hand on my shoulders. "I swear, I did not know about that."

"Stop," I say as I pushed on his chest, but he didn't move.

"Hattie," Jasper said softly as he reached up and caressed a tear away with his thumb.

My body stiffened, and I didn't react fast enough when I realized what was about to happen. Jaspers lips crashed against mine, and I just froze.

After a few seconds, I regained myself and I pushed Jasper hard enough that he stumbled back. My entire body was shaking, and before he could say anything, I broke down in tears and quickly rushed out of the room as fast as I could with Jasper calling my name out to me.

___________________________________

Hattie's lips were soft against mine. I wasn't planning on kissing her. It just sort of happened. I really didn't comprehend what I was doing until she pushed me away.

My eyes widened when I realized what I had done. I had just kissed Hattie. The girl who hates me with every fiber of her body, and I wasn't even sure if I hated her myself. Before I could say anything, Hattie broke down into tears and ran out of the house as quickly as she could. The sound of her crutches on the hardwood floor echoed throughout the first floor of the house.

"Hattie," I called out as I followed her to the front door. She didn't reply, so I called her name again. "Hattie."

But it was too late. She was already out the front door when I reached it. I yanked open the door just in time to see Hattie opening hers. Even if I ran, she would slam the door in my face and lock it.

I let out a grunt in frustration. I was so confused. Why did I do that? Why the fuck did I think kissing her was a good idea? Clearly she's with that Evan guy. Right? Yeah. She doesn't want me. Shit, I wouldn't want me either. I've done a lot to her over the years. Egging her car, making her an outcast, breaking her leg. She probably wants me six feet under, or at least, out of her life.

Shaking my head, I walked back into the house and immediately go up the stairs to my room. I close it behind me and locked it. The last thing I needed was for my parents to barge in here asking where Hattie was.

I plop onto my bed, thinking about Hattie. She looked so defeated when she pushed me away. It hurt my chest just thinking about it.

But I shouldn't feel like this, right? We have always been enemies. Ever since the day when my family moved in next door we never got along. I really don't remember much from what happened that day, but my hatred for her only grew. I can only assume that we argued. Hattie said I started it first. If I did, I really dragged everything out.

The sound of loud music coming from besides me startled me. I looked over at my window to see the glass shaking.

Hattie never had her music up to this volume before, which worried me. I pull myself off my bed and go over to my window to peer out of it. I couldn't see much, so I opened my window and leaned out.

Hattie was standing at her desk with what looked like a shoe box in front of her. She was pulling out small pieces of paper out of it. I start to open her window, but it wouldn't budge. I tried again, but I ended up smacking the paneling of the house, which brought her attention to me.

Her eyes were red from crying. Those tears were because of me, and I was not proud.

I watched Hattie as she made her way over to me with a crutch under one arm and the shoe box in the other. Hattie's face was expressionless as she unlocked and opened her window and shoved the box into my hands. I was a little confused, but before I could ask what this was, she quickly shut the window, locked it, and closed the blinds.

I pulled myself back and I stared at what was in my hand. I popped off the lid and saw it was full of notes. I pulled one out and read it.

Why don't you do us all a favor and kill yourself already

The box slipped out of my and, causing hundreds of notes to fly out and scatter all over the floor. My body was shaking with anger. Not because of what the note said, but by the handwriting. I knew who wrote this. I look down and see more notes just waiting to be discovered.

Go die

Worthless bitch

Just kill yourself

I WILL kill you

Fuck you

I hope you get killed

No one likes you

No friends, no family. What's the point of living?

"She kept these?" I mutter under my breath. Tears started to form in the corners of my eye.

All of these were said because of something I couldn't remember? Hattie was receiving these letters because of me?

Shit.