I AM SO SORRY THESE CHAPTERS ARE TAKING SO LONG!!

As I said before, when my sister doesn't write I can't either and our lives are very chaotic + the pandemic and her motivation is taking a hard hit bc of that. If you could, read her version of this book (Jazz Red's Anomaly) and give her some love!

Anyways, please enjoy!

Nothing makes you feel more naked than someone identifying a desire you never knew you possessed.

After a few minutes of no sign of my boyfriend, I realize his anxiety was probably making him freak out to some extent.

So I went to our room, knocking doesn't seem to do anything so I actually go into the room, frowning. "Jasper?"

He's just sitting on the bed, spacing out.

Thankfully his name breaks him out of the daze.

"Did..." Jasper hesitates to ask. "Did I hurt you?"

I can't help it, I laugh and make my way over to him to wrap my arms around his neck. "I'm not hurt, Jitterbug. It's- -bit hot innit- -more than I expected, but you doing this doesn't bother me. If I didn't like it, I'm pretty sure you'd be able to tell."

"You have to tell me if I do something you d-don't like, okay? Even if you, if you think I noticed." My boyfriend says, pressing our foreheads together causing my eyes to close, otherwise I'd probably end up flushing at the look in his eye. "Are you okay with these, though?"

His hand slides from my back to my side, tracing over a bite mark.

Tensing as a shiver runs down my spine, I can't help but to be a little disappointed that Jasper took my reason as a bad thing.

"I am- -bit hot innit- -it's just, I'm not used to being around someone after that. Or really having these many marks." I tell him, eyes dropping down to his chest. "But with you, I like it. Everyone around can tell I'm yours, you know."

"That's kind of the reason I made them, my star." He nuzzles his face into my neck, palm pressing into my lower back. "I know I get overwhelmed sometimes, and I'm sorry for that, but I'm not like those people. I don't want to be anywhere you're not, especially after being intimate with you. That's... that's special, and something I want to share with you."

At one point, I genuinely did think the only people that could ever want me was fuck buddies, and that was for my body.

The people around me at the time proved me right.

But now I don't like that whenever I've had sex with someone, until last night, there's never been aftercare. I've never stayed the night, I've never done it somewhere I felt particularly safe either.

It's just been something to do when my body gets overworked and I don't have practice, or practice isn't enough.

Or if Clark does something, and I want a choice in the matter as soon as I can.

With Jasper, being fuck buddies didn't come to mind.

Still, I've never had someone care about my body like he does, or have someone leave marks like he did because it was the same for them.

Do what we want, then leave.

Because even if I was just a body, at least then I was good for something.

"Thank- -cheers- -you," Cheers. That's an odd one. "Jitterbug."

Resting my head on his shoulder, I wrap my arms around him best I can and press us closer.

"I love you, Castor." Jasper holds me back just as tight. "And I know I've said this before, but you're so much more than a body. Never forget that, okay?"

Nodding, I stay silent and just enjoy the moment.

Strangely, after a few days of radio silence on Atlas's part, Fly gave me his phone back.

After a few screenshots that make it so none of his apps can be opened even when they look like they're right there and edits, so every no of his turns into a yes and his contacts- -other than his wife and Mama apparently- -was changed into something ridiculous.

Fly loves pranks, so this didn't surprise me much at all.

What has surprised me the most is the way my boyfriend is acting.

He didn't even apologize, or look happy about being able to break something -that's how he'd normally react if it was just a random urge he acted on.

This can't be for just literally no reason.

But honestly, I don't care or have the energy to figure out why.

Since we're going home today Jasper had us pack yesterday to put our things in the private jet, meaning we're all kind of bored.

So his siblings, Vivianna and even Fly, gravitated towards our cabin.

Though I have a feeling he's only here so he doesn't have to help Scar pack the annoying bits, or be around all the adults that are at their cabin.

He likes them all, but he can get overwhelmed with it.

Jasper, annoyingly, made me eat and I already took care of the plate but then I have to walk into the kitchen with my almost empty cup.

For some reason, the musician stands up to follow me out of the living room and gets in my way.

Then he smacks the cup sideways out of my hand, making it crack on the ground which causes me to flinch at the noise -not at Jasper.

Frozen for a moment, I just stare at my hand. Thank god that was a thick glass, but what the fuck.

"Are you actually the one- -one, one, one- -who has Tourette's?" I ask, breaking out of my daze to narrow my eyes at him.

Sometimes when he just has urges, and knows he won't hurt anyone- -more specifically anyone else- -he just ups and acts on them.

And I mean, it's his stuff, he can break it if he wants.

But seriously, what the fuck?

"I'm not." That's all Jasper says before pressing a kiss to the side of my head and walking back to the living room, not even offering to clean it up.

What is he on?

Shaking my head to myself and crouch down to pick up the broken glass. It didn't shatter, just cracked really bad, so I don't care about touching it.

Then again, given what some of my tics are, maybe I should be worried.

Walking back into the living room, there's not much hesitance to sit on Jasper's lap once he offers but can practically feel the way he's smiling into my hair.

Should I even question it?

Logically, I should.

Fuck logic, because I genuinely don't care. Things like this with him are usually a one time thing.

"By the way, Amazing Roommate," Vivianna pats my head as she walks past us, sitting on the other end of the couch. "I hid your phone somewhere in the house. Not this room. Or the bathroom. Good luck, great grasshopper."

Sending her a small glare before I turn back to Jasper, I open my mouth to ask if he'll help me find it but before I can Jasper shakes his head at me. "You're on your own."

I wrinkle my nose at him, a bit confused given she'll probably just tell him where it is once I leave anyway, but decide not to argue against it.

Standing, I take the time to kiss his cheek before looking through the kitchen first since it's the direction she came from.

How did she even get my phone? I thought it was in my pocket.

Wait...did Jasper seriously pickpocket me and then give my phone to his crazy best friend?

Is he in a mood today? Or maybe he's just mad at me for something, or just bored. Maybe even, a mix of all three.

Am I the only one he's even messing with, or is he picking on his sisters too? Though, that is kind of just normal sibling stuff too.

Being on autopilot while thinking, it takes me a moment when I rattle it into the wall due to a tic that I actually found my phone in the bottom of a vase that was in the hallway.

Such a simple hiding spot, but I know I've been thinking for a while so it's one of the last places I checked.

Fuck, am I turning stupid?

Jasper does make me lose my mind a little, to be fair.

The next thing I know, I'm being pinned forward to the wall, Jasper's body pressing into mine as he takes the vase from me and chucks it to the end of the hall where it shatters on the ground.

Though he broke it, he still made it so if any of the pieces came our way, I wouldn't be hit.

What the fuck is happening?

"Jasper?" I ask, trying not to make his anxiety go up with my own multiple array of odd emotions that he can definitely see right now.

"Sorry." Though Jasper sounds sheepish when he says this, he doesn't act the part as he turns quickly on heel and walk away like breaking that was nothing -putting his hands in his sweatshirt pocket that makes it hard for me to stop him without grabbing onto his arms.

And it's clear I'm not about to do that.

Which is probably why he jumped a bit when I stop him by, instead, wrapping my arms around his middle and rest my head on the dip of his shoulders when he comes to a stop.

"What's going on?" Is he okay?

My boyfriend gives a little shrug, muttering, "I dunno."

For some reason though, I can feel his heart pick up pace beneath my fingertips and look up to see the back of his neck and ears flushing a light red.

"You're so red," And I didn't even do anything, literally nothing. Maybe he's embarrassed about throwing the glass? "Why?"

Jasper shuffles a bit, hand coming up over one of mine. "Um... you're h-hot."

I honestly can't help it, I laugh.

For some reason,I didn't expect that answer at all.

"You're so mean to me, my star." He whines.

"You're the one- -throw, throw, throw- -breaking things." I growl, then scoffing as he gives another half shrug. My Jitterbug isn't acting normal, and I want to know why.

"I'll do it again," Jasper declares- -threatens- -and his head raises up more. "I will, you tiny god, don't test me."

I catch the vase at the end of the hall seeming to glare down at us. "Those are expensive, Jitterbug."

"Not to me." Oh fuck, why are rich people so god damn weird smashing stuff just because they can buy more. I know I'm not one to talk, because I've let myself get broken just because I'll heal, but nobody can deny he's being odd right now. "Castor, let me go so I can break things."

"Not until-" I squeak. "-you tell me why you want to break them."

The musician hums, pausing to think about something before he randomly calls me a 'tiny god' again before proceeding to do two things. The first is not give me any warning.

And second?

He throws me over his fucking shoulder.

"Jasper!" I scold him, growling a second later as I tighten a fist in his shirt to not fall. "You can't just- -but hot innit- -man handle me like that!"

"Your british accent says otherwise, star."

Fuck him for mentioning this stupid british accent. This shouldn't make me feel like I'm about to blush, if anything I should be upset.

Breaking me- -breaking is the right word- -from my thoughts, the sound of the second vase shattering echoes around the hallway.

Cursing to myself while he questions the color, I wrap my arms around his shoulders as he shifts to hold me so I can rest my chin on his head. "Ugh. Are- -mother ducklings- -you done doing whatever you were doing?"

Jasper nods, moving back until his shoulders and my knees hit the wall, snuggling further into my chest. "Are you mad yet?"

"I'm not mad." I innocently peck the side of his temple. "Just confused."

Slow enough that he doesn't drop me but fast enough it would make me stumble if he didn't wrap his arms around me, Jasper sets me down. "I'm sorry for doing that. I... I made you flinch and feel bad."

Reaching up to cup his face in my hand, I kiss the corner of his mouth and shake my head at him. "I didn't flinch because I thought- -think, think, think- -you'd hit me, I did it because you literally threw glass." I deadpan. "And I'm just confused, it wasn't just an-" I squeak. "-impulse. You did it three times! And you argued with me."

Which isn't something he does often.

"I didn't argue," My boyfriend mumbles out, flushing brightly. "Just disagreed... with the course of action."

Blinking at him, I raise an eyebrow. "You threw glass."

"I...well, um, Dela kinda made me do it. They wanted me to make you mad, said they had to 'test' you. I don't know what they were expecting, though. I mean, I was the one who was throwing things, not you."

That seems like a test you'd do on an animal, raise your hand to see if it backs away to tell if it was abuse.

But now, instead of testing for abuse, it's like they're testing the abuser.

"Did- -Sasuke- -someone..." I bet I know what the hell this is about, and I fucking hate it. "Did he throw things at you?"

"Keres?"

Fuck Keres.

"Is that why they wanted you to throw things?"

"Yes to the first, uh, to the first question, him and my old friends. They didn't like it when my clumsiness broke things, even when those things weren't there. But no one but Nyx knows that, the details I mean, so I don't think so. Dela isn't the best planner." Wow, I totally wouldn't have guessed. "She wanted me to break something of yours originally but I wasn't going to do that, and those vases were decoration and replaceable."

"So..." I roll my eyes. "They wanted me to be angry at you?"

"Yeah, I think it was more because of boredom and less because they thought you'd get mad in the first place," If Fly was involved, I'd be shit surprised to know it was anything but that. "Can I make you mad."

Shaking my head, I chuckle at him. "Good fucking luck with that."

He, adorably, pouts at me. "You say that like it's not something I'm capable of."

"It's not." Grinning, I stop myself from laughing. I'm definitely that rude, just not to him. "Jasper, you're a puppy. I can't get mad at you."

Moving his arms back around my waist just as tight, the musician's pout only grows. "I am not a puppy, Star." I wonder how many times today he's going to make me roll my eyes. "I can totally make you angry."

"Do it then." I challenge. "Make me angry, offend me. Go ahead."

"Urm..." Not expecting this, Jasper hesitates. "Your boyfriend's really ugly?"

"Jitterbug, I said offend me," Telling him this, I smirk and take hold of his jaw to make him make eye contact with me. "Not make jokes."

"It's not a... you're supposed to be mad!" He says this in a scolding tone, like it's somehow my fault he's bad at insults.

"I gave you good luck and everything, Jitterbug." I tease him. "It's your job to make me mad, not my job to pretend to be mad."

"Hmph." My boyfriend purses his lips. "I don't want to actually hurt your feelings though. Oh! What's something annoying that I do?"

"You're not annoying." My response is immediate and I can tell he doesn't believe me.

"Is using someone else to make you mad cheating?"

Narrowing my eyes at him, hoping he's not suggesting who I think he is, I answer him in a neutral voice. "Depends on who- -on, on, on- -it is."

"Axel?"

Well fuck me because I was right.

"I'll just be mad at- -Itachi!- -him, not you." I grumble, tugging on his hair lightly as my possessiveness kicks in. "That idiot knows not to touch you."

All this does is make Jasper pout more. "And Fly?"

"If Fly wants to pick a fight with me he knows how." Not to mention he knows the consequences of using Jasper to get to me.

Let's just say they're not pleasant.

Jasper chirps out "I've fought you before." like me losing a fight to him is a good thing.

"And if you want to spar, you just have to ask." Saying this, I know my acceptance of the things he thinks should make me mad has got to be annoying at this rate. "But I'm never going to actually fight you. Besides, isn't your goal to win again? Unless your clumsiness gets in the way."

Something he does often that I've always found cute is when he tilts his head at me- -much like a puppy- -and it really doesn't help his case when he does just that, then asks, "Is my clumsiness annoying?"

When will he realize I don't find any part of him annoying.

"It's worrying." I reply honestly, shrugging. "If you get hurt, I'm just... I don't like it. Don't do anything stupid to try and get on my nerves, Jasper. It won't work and you'll get pointlessly hurt."

"I wasn't going to!" He quickly defends, moving his hands down to my hips. "Why can't you just tell me what makes you angry?"

"First of all, I don't like being angry." Which should be a given. "Secondly, I don't want to get mad at you for anything even if you could make me mad for more than a second. Third, testing me like this -it's pointless. Even if-" I growl. "-I do get mad at you, what do you expect to happen? I'll just go on a run, or talk to you about it. If they, or you, want some big reaction or something you'll just be disappointed."

Hell, I wasn't even really, truly mad when I fought Axel.

I was just pissed off a bit and in the mood to fight.

"It's not like you're like Axel, okay with any fighting, and I take that into account. Or, at least I do now that I know you don't like seeing it either." Something I wish I knew from the start. "Seriously, even if you did make me mad, what kind of reaction would you expect?"

"I... I don't know." Jasper admits, leaning into me more. "You're not a hothead-" Debatable. "-so you wouldn't blow a fuse, and we have good communication, I think, so I pretty much expected what you said. I never really thought I would be making you mad on purpose, which I don't want to do. I don't think they expected anything either, but Fly egged them on because he was bored and-"

"So what I'm hearing," I interrupt, half bad that I was fucking right about Flynn. "Is you broke two vases and a glass for literally no reason."

"Um, that's well... yeah, when you put it that way that's kind of embarrassing." Jasper hides his face against my shoulder, and it shouldn't be a good thing I'm glad he's embarrassed about throwing glass.

Maybe he'll learn he doesn't have to test me to know something.

"It's really not fair that you use your body weight against me," I change the topic, because while I want him to learn I also don't want my boyfriend to internally die from the stupid decisions his oblivious ass makes. "Especially not to literally break- -smash, smash, smash-- something you shouldn't be breaking.

Jasper gives me another small apology but ends up calling me small again, so I know it's not completely genuine.

Still, he actually looks...happy, with how I reacted.

Apparently I passed the test.