All joy... emphasizes our pilgrim status; always reminds, beckons, awakens desire. Our best havings are wantings. 

One of my tics is when I make a quick growling sound and Jazz found out that when he growls at me, I'll growl back.

He thinks it's funny.

It doesn't bother me at all, it wouldn't bother me even if he did what Noelle does and have me actually growl.

I just wish I knew why he liked it, because it's definitely not due to what it sounds like, but what it looks like.

Right now, when I look at Jasper, I can't figure out how we were ever strangers.

As a private person, someone who doesn't share myself with others, I can say that learning how to interact with others is difficult. It's like baking, almost, you have to mix the right ingredients together, and if you add the wrong ones things can taste hideous even if they look good.

It's a lot like our words.

But I've mastered how to tell someone just a little about myself but doing it in a way that makes the person in front of me think they know a lot.

Jasper, somehow, sees through this every fucking time and it's absolutely infuritating.

He's never satisfied with just a little of me, with my hidden truth, and it's the most annoying thing I've ever experienced.

I love him, he's just too adorably sweet for his own good.

Because one pout, one tiny quiver of his lip with those damn snake bites in, and his minty eyes staring at me, I tell him things I'd never tell someone else.

I talk to him, and he listens.

Words aren't my strong suit, a lot of the time I don't- -and can't- -say the right things without messing up. So I rely on looks, hidden messages, body languages, the silent things people do that tell someone they're loved.

The musician does that a lot, tell me about his love without saying a thing, I mean.

It's in how he makes sure everything past our dorm's door frame is exactly where it's supposed to be from the furniture to the difference between the small spoons and the big ones but leaves the cleaning to me. It's how he makes dinner every night not because he enjoys it that much, but because he knows I'm already exhausted from cooking all day and being at practice.

Everything about him is expected.

Now, every time he pouts I can hear the small 'ting' his septum piercing makes against his medusa one that rests in the center of his cupid's bow. How he's one of the biggest, strongest guys I know but he'll curl up on my bean bag after a long day and just when I think he's asleep, he'll say my name and take me in his arms. It's the way his tattoos look when he flexes or is working out after our run and then looks up to me with that dorky grin of his and says my name, says "Castor." like I'm something amazing even when I know I'm ordinary.

Jasper Red is an anomaly.

That's proven in the way he, upon my entrance to the dorm after a run, excitedly wiggles on the floor like a happy puppy before he's able to prop himself up with his guitar in hand.

"Castor!" The giant cheers, showing off his snake bites and dimples.

"Hey," My amusement seeps through my smile as I refrain from laughing as all I can think is I love this dork.

Shaking my head, I kick the door closed and walk around the half wall to stand next to him.

Jasper flushes a bright red, biting down on his bottom lip.

"What?"

Seriously, what did I even do?

"You're shirtless." Is what the musician eyes, minty eyes widening like this is something new.

He's constantly around people who are more attractive than me and works out all the time, so he's definitely seen guys better than me more often than he's even seen me shirtless.

At this point, I'm not gonna question him.

"You have tattoos?" Without warning the giant scrambles up clumsily, putting his guitar down on the cabinets and kneeling in front of me. "I didn't know that!"

Turning half way, I can watch as he leans closer to my back, hand raised half way but not quite touching me yet.

"Hmm?" I can't focus right when his eyes are tracing my skin like he's mesmerized, the look much too cute to keep my mind right. "Yeah."

For someone so innocent and adorable, he really has to be careful how he acts around sinful people.

People like me.

"Those are so cool, do you have anymore?" Jasper asks, fingertips running gently along the dip of my spine. I straighten my back, his body heat a bit too distracting at the moment.

I don't know why he thinks they're 'so cool' when he has much better, much more detailed tattoos himself.

All I have on my back are a bunch of roman numerals going down my spine.

Fourteen, to be exact. It's my immediate family's- -Mama, Papa, Adonis, Selene, Atlas, Nemesis, Triton, Eris, Evie, Grace, Rayne, Bax and Kaia- -birthdays, in order from when they joined the family or were born, along with the date Selene joined the military next to her birthday.

Circe and Noelle's birthdays are on my left hip.

On my right one there's just a strawberry, in the same place Papa has one.

None of that is half as interesting as the ones Jasper has.

From what I've seen so far he has a mandala design going over his lower back, the top of it having the roots of a tree over the design, a willow tree going to his right shoulder with doves spread throughout the branches with random colors.

His left shoulder has another mandala design but with a dragon curling over it, glaring at me from his collarbone, tail going down the crook of his elbow and over other designs in the not yet finished sleeve where scribbles in a language I don't know are marked in over some scars on his forearm.

To me, his back is the most impressive.

To knock myself out of my thoughts about him, I start the conversation back up by saying, "Not as much as you," Which strangely, only makes the thoughts stronger. But what else did I expect by talking about what's making me flustered? "But there's this one."

Tugging on the side of my shorts, I pull it down just enough to show him the strawberry I have.

Jasper hums, hand lightly gripping my hip so his thumb can run along the design, but it's enough to make me shiver, to make me start thinking.

Stupid cute roommate.

Fuck, now I'm blushing.

Shit.

Tilting his head up to me quizzically, letting me know that he noticed my shift in thought, but I step back from him and turn sharply on my heel.

I shouldn't be thinking about it, or about kissing him like that.

It doesn't help that I can practically feel his eyes digging into my skin.

"They're birthdays?" The musician asks.

"Yeah." I awkwardly clear my throat. "They're my family's birthdays but I also have the day Selene joined the army next to hers and others like Sawyer's wife Grace next to him."

It's a bit surprising when Jasper says, "Dog tags."

He's seen them and has even used them to tug me down for a kiss, but he's never asked who they belong to or why I wear them.

Turning back around, there's no way for me to ignore the minty eyes stuck to my frame.

"As much as I don't mind you admiring me, Jitterbug, I'm still sweaty from the run and need to take a shower."

Pouting as he sits back on the floor, Jasper mutters, "This is reverse apostasy and I don't appreciate it."

"What?" I ask, spinning on my heel to look at him again. "A reverse apostasy? I'm- -bit hot innit- -sorry, but what religion is abandoning you at the moment?"

I hope that's actually what that word means.

It's fucking luck I know that.

"No religion," Jasper flushes as he continues to meet my eye. "Just a God who's leaving me before I even get a kiss to go take a shower."

Rolling my eyes, not taking him seriously at the moment, I grumble "I'm not a god, Jasper." and cross my arms, raising an eyebrow at him.

Jasper pouts, doing the slight grabby hands again.

And I almost, almost cave.

But then remind myself how sweaty and gross I must be right now, and shake my head at him.

"Listen Love, unless you actually have something for me, want to join me- -bit hot innit- -or are planning my murder," Wouldn't that be wild. "I'm going to actually take a shower now."

The musician points to the fridge, perking up again as he actually does have something for me.

"Strawberries!" Jasper excitedly informs, before pointing at his lips. "Kisses!"

Not being able to stop myself, I grin. "Strawberries, fuck yeah." Then pause and turn to the giant, still smiling but clearly suspicious. "You're too good at bribery."

Because he clearly wants something.

I'm not sure if that something is kisses or cuddles but whatever it is excited him but also made him anxious enough to give me strawberries -something he says I'm addicted to.

"No, sir, I am not," He says jokingly, picking up his guitar, which is something that centers him in the moment and distracts him completely. "I think I'm at the perfect level of being able to bribe you."

"I could disagree but you got me strawberries, so," I pause, looking around the fridge to see multiple strawberry smoothies, another carton of fresh strawberries and strawberry lemonade. What the hell. "Why are there so many strawberry things in here?"

Not that I'm complaining.

Jasper hums, "There's Twizzlers in the drawer too."

"Okay, love that, but why?"

"Ah," Jasper answers without thinking, something he does often when he's focused on music. The guy doesn't have a lot of secrets. "I wanted you to be happy when I asked you out on a date so I got you those, but they weren't staying cold so I put them in the fridge."

Oh.

Oh.

Okay then, he clearly doesn't know he admitted that, and I'm not gonna ruin the 'surprise'. My adorable little musician is so oblivious, if he wasn't so cute I'd be worried.

So I just end up chuckling, shaking my head at him. "That was very thoughtful- -bit hot innit!- -thank you."

"Welcome," He chirps, grinning down to his guitar. "Why is there a 'd' in fridge but not refrigerator?"

"I don't know," I know my humor escaped me when Jasper glances up, frowning slightly. "Because the English language is just screwy."

"What? Why are you-" Realization flashes through his pale mint colored eyes, blushing and smiling sheepishly at me. "H-hey, um, Castor, do you want to go on a date w-with me?"

Not even pausing to pick up a milkshake, which is saying something, I lean down and wait for him to straighten up to meet me halfway before kissing him.

What a dork.

"Sure," I can't help but to laugh, teasingly squishing his cheeks together with the hand I have on his jaw. "But I'm still showering first. My offer still stands, for joining me and the murder."

"Murder is um, is rude before the first date."

Smirking, I wink at him. "We'll definitely have fun on the second then."

Because there better be a second one.