《Anomalies [BXB] ✔》Chapter Eleven
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The entrepreneur sells anything needed by both to win their desires.
Atlas stole my bed and Jasper's family took over the living room, which gave me the perfect opportunity to suggest to Jasper himself that we share a bed.
There's never a wrong time for cuddling.
Usually the only time I can sleep this soundly is when I'm utterly exhausted because I move a lot in my sleep- -that part isn't because of the tics- -and when I'm trying to get to sleep, my head movement always snaps me awake just as I'm falling asleep -that part is.
Most days, I give up on sleep.
But Jasper didn't mind at all, in fact he held me to him and didn't say anything even though I know my ticing must have kept him awake and I probably kicked him at least once.
This was...it was really nice.
And very slowly, I woke up to find that I was basically curled on top of Jasper's chest. My head is pressed into his neck, hands clutching my- -his- -sweatshirt. One of his legs is propped up against the wall and both of mine are tangled with his other one.
One of his large arms is wrapped around my shoulders, pressing me closer to him and his other arm crosses over my middle but his hand is holding onto my hip.
The room was cold but we're warm.
I don't know how long Jasper has been awake for- -it's admittedly weird that he's awake before me even if neither of us are out of bed yet- -but he moves one hand off my hip, making that side of my body feel cold, to raise himself up just enough to press a kiss against my forehead.
I grumble at him, about to scold him for making me cold due to the way I slid down his chest instead of staying where I was when he hums softly.
"You're a good thing to wake up to, Cas."
Fuck this guy for being so cute.
No, correction, fuck me.
Next thing I know he's kissing both my cheeks, then my nose and finally, my lips.
Groaning, I finally blink my eyes open to peak up at him, noticing the flush of his cheeks before anything else.
"Mornin' Jitterbug." I yawn before chuckling as he very clearly blushes more. ""Why are you already blushing? I didn't even do anything."
Jasper pouts as I call him out, "Yeah but you're really cute, it's too much for my brain to handle in the morning."
Moving my arms up to brace myself on his chest, I point to the door with my chin to tease him. "I can always go."
"No!" His arms snap out and wrap around me, tugging me straight down to his chest. "I'm yours and it's too early, so more cuddles."
"Sure," I chuckle, noticing the slight accent he has is all the more prominent in his tired voice. "More cuddles."
Then a noise that I'm pretty sure is either Vivianna or Axel- -one of the D'Silvettas at the very least- -trying and failing to play the guitar echoes through the room -making Jasper groan.
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Sitting up more, Jasper buries his face against my neck, the slight scruff of his unshaved cheeks making my face burn.
He's so attractive.
It's annoying.
Without warning, the musician pulls away from me to meet my eye but only ends up blankly staring with a cute little frown.
"Jasper?" I say, leaning into him. "Are you okay?"
"Oh, yeah, I'm fine." Jasper mumbles in reply as I start waving a hand in his face but he doesn't even blink at the motion.
"Why can't you see?"
Now's not the moment for it, but I can't help but to desperately want a kiss as he grips my hips and pulls me to sit on his thighs but acts as if he doesn't even register the movement.
Honestly, the dorky way he's blinking at me is...it's kinda cute.
"Um..." His fingers tap against my thigh, which is honestly distracting.
"Jitterbug," Taking his jaw in hand, I move his face directly in front of mine. "Tell me."
"The m-music." The giant explains, flushing. "Axel is playing it, he always makes this really weird, like really weird, colors, and the way the dance-- o-oh, um, the, the song moves? I don't, well, there's... it's too bright."
Though I don't know if shouting is the right move- -since that's probably bright too- -I still turn towards the door, a bit self conscious of my hips, and snap, "Shut the fuck up Axel!"
The fucking idiot just replies, "I'm not talking."
"Put the guitar down before I beat you with it." I snarl, going to stand but his hands just hold me tighter -Jasper isn't a fighter and I know he doesn't like me fighting so I eventually mumble out, "Please." like how my mama would want me to.
Then again, I doubt she'd like me threatening anyone.
I'll just pretend the 'please' cancels it out like Papa does.
"I know Jasper's a good kisser," Axel cackles out. "But you don't have to be so salty that my amazing skills are interrupting you two."
A snarl passes my lips as he starts playing even louder, loud footsteps telling me he's moving away from my door and down toward Jasper's. Ticing, my shoulders tense and I say, "Sasuke!"
"U-um," Jasper lets his hold on my hips drop, mooting to the wall instead of the door but I know he's basically giving me permission to do something to end the noise. "Don't, urm, don't break anything?"
Hopefully he knows I'm about to beat Axel up.
I take off his sweatshirt so nothing happens to it, leaving me in my tank top and pajama bottoms.
Sliding off the bed, half wishing I chose to distract Jasper from the noise another way, I stomp over to the door and slam it open.
Axel freezes as he stares at me like a deer caught in the headlights.
Not really wasting time to talk or try to respond, I roughly grab the guitar from him -well aware it's Jasper's so I don't break it but I do punch the end of it into Axel's nose.
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Instantly, blood starts falling down his chin but after straightening after stumbling to the end of the hall- -passing his sibling's line of sight from the living room where they all collectively scoff or choose to ignore it- -the idiot motions as if to say, "I'm ready."
But all I see is him telling me, "Punch me more."
Before doing anything else, I place Jasper's guitar against the hallway wall where it's going to be safe.
I don't think he thought I can move as fast as I do but my knee is connecting with his stomach before he can block, making him groan as he doubles over.
As we trade hits, him going for my stomach, he gets one good punch that knocks the air out of me and sends my back smacking into the wall.
There's definitely going to be a bruise on my cheek tomorrow, where I already feel a cut.
That pisses me off.
Meeting my eye, his hazel ones widen in horror as I stand straight, fists clenching.
"His kisses are not worth this." Axel squeaks out, backing up only to realize that he literally trapped himself in the corner. "Damien!"
"No." Is the first word I hear the D'Silvetta say, making a cruel smirk cross my features.
Yeah.
He's fucked.
"Have you not realized-" I growl. "-yet Axel? I was raised to kick your ass."
I trip him back by swiping his ankle out from around him and as he's falling I grab the front of his shirt with my left hand and knock my elbow into the corner of his jaw.
This is what gets him to let out a loud shriek before going silent.
"Huh." I say, dropping his definitely passed out form onto the ground, arms crossing as I kick him lightly in the side. "That was a lot easier than I thought it'd be."
Atlas opens his door, clad in one of Donny's large shirts I still have and some of my large pajama bottoms, groaning as he sees Axel on the floor. "Stop beating people up Alpha, I don't want to tell Mama you put someone in the hospital again."
I grin, kicking Axel again honestly just because I can -not hard enough to break anything but I definitely want him to feel it when he wakes up.
"If you don't want her to know, don't tell her."
He glowers at me and closes the door again. Atlas likes to sleep.
There's this voice in my head, sometimes, that tells me to hurt someone if they make me mad or destroy someone when they look at what's mine and most times?
I listen to it.
For the most part, these people deserve it. That's not a problem for me.
I'm a fighter, Atlas is a fighter, Selene is a fighter.
We get it from our dad.
When it becomes a problem is when that voice turns on us and tells us to hurt ourselves instead, that we deserve it.
And most of the time?
We listen.
This is the problem.
Before we learn how to love without being in pain, before we learn how to be gentle, we always hate ourselves, we're always rough.
Our family knows how to handle us when we get really bad, when we, inevitably, relapse and hurt ourselves again.
Things like drugs, alcohol and suicide is where they draw the line. It's a line we don't cross anymore. Those thoughts are either dealt with immediately through therapy or we're institutionalized. There's no middle ground.
Addiction is in our DNA.
And people, I've learned, can get addicted to death.
I think that's a problem too.
A soft creak of the door behind me informs me of Jasper coming out of his room. I instantly turn at the sound of his voice, now half-ashamed I listened to that voice.
This probably looks really bad.
Oops.
"C-Cas?" It absolutely clenches at my heart when I see his minty eyes wide, his hands clenched on the doorframe as only his head peaks out like he's afraid. "I-I, um, you... Are you okay? I s-said, I said not to break anything! Including yourself."
"I didn't break anything I just-" Ticing, my hand flies to the side.
Jasper flinches.
And I freeze.
I scared him.
Does he think I'll hit him...?
"Jasper," My voice drops gently as I raise my hands on either side of my head, not really knowing what else to do. "I won't hurt you. Axel just...he just-"
My voice catches in my throat as I blanch, stepping back from the musician, who continues to watch me with scared wide eyes.
Axel fought back, it's not like he was defenseless, it's not like I'm not bruised, it's not like I'm not bleeding -the only difference is that I won.
But I would much, much rather have lost than have Jasper stare at me like that.
Selene always warned me I could scare people, no matter where they're from or their size, when I listen to the darkness it scares them.
I didn't...I never wanted him to be afraid of me.
Fuck.
Fuck.
"I-I um," Jasper gulps. "I...you're, you're bleeding, Cas."
That's not important, not at all. He's the one afraid.
What's my pain compared to his fear?
Nothing.
"Cas?" Jasper's hand moves like he wants to reach out to me but it's only for a moment, as he grabs the doorframe to huddle back into it. "Are you o-okay?"
All I can do I just stare, not wanting to make a move in case I make him flinch again.
The response doesn't seem to be good enough for him, and the musician disappears behind his door again. It's only a minute later when he comes back out, this time with a giant sweatshirt on and earbuds in but it feels like a long time for me.
That might because I'm not moving.
Or breathing.
"Please don't be scared of me." I beg him, sucking in a harsh breath.
"I, um, I c-can't hear you right now?" He slowly taps his earbud. "Sorry, I-- sorry. Give me a s-second."
Then he leaves, flinching as he glances down to Axel.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
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