《Gracie & Gray》Chapter 12

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My jaw hung low as I stared at Gray in disbelief.

You know, I would've reached out sooner. Had I known.

Conflicting emotions clashed within me.

Anger.

Longing.

Sadness.

Regret.

Mostly, though, I felt confused. My understanding of Gray was suddenly being stretched and skewed into something else entirely.

Eyes wide, I sputtered, "I-I don't know why you're telling me this right now."

"Don't you, though?" he prompted quietly.

His eyes bore into mine. A stupid flutter flitted across my stupid heart.

I mumbled, "Honestly... I don't know what you want from me."

Gray hesitated.

"Maybe... I want a chance to make things right between us."

"I'm pretty sure there hasn't been an 'us' since high school," I reminded him in a sharper tone than intended.

He had the humility to cringe. "Maybe not, but... I recently realized that... I made a huge mistake. I should've never let you get away."

I gawked at him.

What hell was going on right now?

In college, I had waited years for him to say something like this to me.

Yet, now, this whole situation was beginning to feel a bit too much like 'too little, too late.' There was no 'us,' and there could never be an 'us' again—certainly not with Lydia and the baby hanging over our heads.

I hardened my resolve against him.

"Yeah, I got away, and then you go and fuck Lydia."

No matter how I felt about Gray in secret, I was older now and wiser, too. I was too old and too wise to open myself up to the heartbreak and soul-crushing disappointment that inevitably came with loving Gray.

His jaw clenched and unclenched. Instantly, I recognized this all too familiar tic. It was Gray's tell whenever he was deeply stressed.

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"Like I said before... I know I fucked up. Big time. And now I'm here to apologize for it. I'm here to try and make it up to you, Gracie."

I frowned.

Why was Gray talking as though I was his girlfriend?

My tummy did a funny little flip.

Sternly, I reminded myself that we weren't anything to each other.

We had a long and deep history, yes, but, at present, Gray was a good-looking, single guy who could stick his dingaling wherever he pleased in whomever he pleased...

And he had done just that with Lydia.

My heart thudded painfully as the green-eyed monster seized me once more.

I snorted, "I don't know why you're wasting your time with me. You should be reaching out to Lydia. I think you two probably have a little more to discuss than we do."

Gray started to tap, tap, tap his forefinger against the surface of the table. The slow, steady rhythm captivated me. This was another telltale sign that Gray was coming to his wit's end, and it felt a little trippy to still know all these bits and bobs about him even though so much had changed since we were kids and teens.

Gray sighed. The tapping stopped.

"I get it, Gracie. You're mad. And you have every right to be upset with me, but... I'll wait. I'll wait as long as it takes for you to be okay with the shit that happened between Lydia and me."

I eyed him warily. "What are you trying to get at here? Do you want my blessing? My forgiveness? You wanna date me? Be my friend? What the hell do you want, Gray?"

This time, when Gray answered, he didn't hesitate, "I'll take whatever you're willing to give me. My contract with the Corps ends in a few months, and I'm not planning to enlist again after my next deployment. I'm planning to move back to Arizona, Gracie. For good."

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Well, wasn't that just fine fucking dandy?

I slumped back into the booth. Energy drained from me. Gray seemed determined to insert himself back into my life, and I knew what a stubborn asshole he could be once his mind was made up.

"I don't get this sudden change of heart from you," I muttered with a scowl. "It's not like you wanted me back then. Why do you care so much about me now?"

Gray fell silent for a long while.

"I know you probably won't believe me, Gracie, but I never stopped wanting you. Not for one moment."

I glared at him.

Gray was right. I didn't believe him at all. I was fully aware—perhaps more so than anyone else—just how much he didn't want kids.

Lydia had yet to tell Gray about her decision to keep their baby.

Gray wanted me right now for whatever reason, but, once my sister let the cat out of the bag, I doubted he would stick around after the baby was born.

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