《Gracie & Gray》Chapter 6
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"You win, Lydia."
Lydia's mouth parted. "What?"
I hesitated. "I've decided that... I'll help out with the baby full-time for a year, at least, until you wrap up your residency."
She beamed, "Oh, my God! you're such a lifesaver, Gracie! I knew you'd come through for me! I just knew it!"
My sister pulled me in for a big hug. With a small but genuine smile, I reached around to pat her back affectionately.
As much as I hated what she had done with Gray—at the end of the day, I loved my sister, I loved my little zygote of a nephew, or niece, and I knew that I would, always, set everything aside for family.
After Lydia stepped away, I arched an eyebrow at her.
"Just to be clear, though—I'm not signing up to be a second mom. I'm an aunt who volunteers to babysit on days when you're on call or need extra help, but you have to promise me that you'll make every effort to be as involved as possible in your baby's life, okay?"
"Of course!" Lydia chirped a bit too breezily for my liking. "I plan to be involved... as much as I can be, anyway."
"Lydia..."
"Okay, okay! We'll work out a fair schedule. I swear, I'm not going to ditch my own kid and make you do all the work."
"I really hope you mean that, Lydia, because I have no idea how to take care of a baby."
Lydia shrugged. "I'm sure we'll figure it out when the time comes."
Suddenly, the reality that we had less than nine months to prepare for the baby's arrival slammed into me like a semi truck.
This spike in my anxiety nearly made me break out in hives.
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What the fuck did two single twenty-nine-year old women know about raising a baby?
Little newborn necks always looked so flimsy and wobbly, and—
Oh, God. What if I broke the baby?
My nerves began to buzz with trepidation.
Helplessly, I wondered if Lydia could convince our parents to move back to Arizona—to help out with the baby. It wasn't going to be an easy case to argue. Mom and Dad were currently living their best lives in a ritzy retirement community in Tallahassee. They also happened to be deeply religious. I knew they were probably going to be pissed at Lydia for getting knocked up without a ring on her finger. Once they hashed it out and the dust settled, though, I doubted that either of our parental units would have the heart to turn their backs on Lydia, let alone their future grandbaby.
Lydia and I needed every bit of support at our disposal.
Just then, a controversial thought whispered across my mind: Gray should be a part of this team, too.
Feeling awkward, I asked, "So... are you... really not going to tell Gray about the new game plan? I mean, it's one thing if he knowingly walks away from his baby. It's another thing altogether if you don't give him the choice to stay."
Lydia sighed. Stress creased her brow. "I don't know, Gracie. I still think it's better if he doesn't know."
"Why?"
"You know how he can be."
For some reason, her insinuation about Gray irked me. It put me on the defensive.
"What the hell do you mean by that?"
Lydia wrinkled her nose as though she smelled something unpleasant. "Gray has anger issues. He's known to be violent. Just look at his parents! I'm not sure if he has what it takes to be a positive influence as a dad..."
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A fire sparked inside me. I set my jaw. "Gray has never hurt anyone who didn't deserve it."
"He nearly killed his own father in high school, Gracie."
"Only because his dad was going to beat his mom to death!" I flung back passionately. "Not everyone is lucky enough to be born into a family where everyone worships the ground you walk on, Lydia!"
Her eyes rounded out like saucers at my sudden, unexpected outburst. My eyes widened in shock as well. I hadn't meant to attack my sister so personally.
"Damn, Gracie. Chill, okay? You're not supposed to be stressing out pregnant women..."
I immediately swallowed my anger. "I'm sorry. I just don't think you should talk shit about Gray. He's still the father of your child."
Lydia rolled her eyes. "He's more like a sperm donor, in my opinion. At least the sex was good."
The image of a naked Lydia wrapped around an equally naked Gray flashed before me.
Jealousy flared. Then, the sadness sank in.
I wanted to be the one carrying Gray's baby.
My heart pinched painfully even while I tried to keep my expression neutral.
If this was a taste of what the next nine months might feel like once Lydia's belly started growing round, then, boy, was I in for a bitter ride.
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